DEAD AS a DOORNAIL

by Tonya Kappes

  “You’ve lost your mind sitting in there all night.” Betty rolled her eyes.

  Tina motioned for Betty to come closer. “Now, dig down in that pocketbook of yours and get me a piece of gum. You’ve always got gum when you come see me.”

  Betty dug deep in her purse and retrieved a piece of crumpled-up gum that’d seen better days. Without even brushing off the specks of God knows what on it, Tina stuck it in her mouth. Betty walked over to Cowboy’s.

  “So is there anything else you can remember since last night about Alma’s relationship with Lucy?” I asked.

  “There was something.” Tina perked up when she saw Betty bring in a pot of coffee from next door. “Can I get a cup of that coffee? Thank you, Betty. I’m sorry I fussed at you a while ago.” She gave a theatrical wink that made me roll my eyes. “As I was sayin’, I’d heard that Lucy Ellen got drunk at their last hog boil and Alma found her and Bosco in the barn doing more than talking pig, if you know what I mean.”

  “Now I heard the complete opposite.” Betty couldn’t stand it. She had to get her two cents in. She got up and got a cup of the coffee. As she ripped open a few sugar packets and stirred it, she said, “Lucy Ellen told the girls at bell choir that Alma had hit on Darnell. When Darnell rejected her, she went and told Bosco that Darnell hit on her and they got into a big fight and that’s why they aren’t friends no more.”

  “I thought they were hunting partners.” I glanced over at the whiteboard where we’d written that supposed fact.

  “Apparently they don’t go to the deer stand the same nights and have switched partners.” Betty shrugged.

  “Why haven’t you told me this information before now?” I asked and wondered who was at the cabin the night of the murder. If Bosco and Darnell didn’t go the same time, where was Bosco Frederick that night?

  “Because you always tell me the proof is in the evidence and not gossip,” Betty jabbed back. “The evidence clearly points right to Tina.”

  “Gee, thanks, Betty. I have an alibi. Just wait and see when Finn calls.” Tina huffed. “When I get out of here, you’re gonna regret saying that when you need to get them gnarly corns on your feet sawed down. Besides, Alma was just in the salon to have her nails manicured and painted. She still holds a grudge against Lucy.”

  “I’ve told you time and time again that there’s some truth in all gossip and you’ve got to weed it out.” Poppa appeared next to the whiteboard. “I’d go see the Fredericks as soon as possible.”

  The phone rang and Betty quickly answered.

  “Hold on.” She held it out to me. “It’s Officer Vincent.”

  Tina bounced with anticipation on her toes.

  “Hey, Finn. What did you find out?” I asked.

  “Tina’s alibi holds true. She was doing a massage therapist test up until nine p.m. and after that they went out for a late supper and ended up watching a movie well into the night. Airtight. And her prints haven’t been found on the bottle.”

  “Sounds good.” I looked over at Tina, knowing that the alibi wasn’t as important since she could’ve poisoned the fingernail polish at anytime. I really needed to figure out how Lucy Ellen got the polish.

  “Well?” she asked.

  “You’re okay with me going to get some shut eye?” Finn asked. He sounded tired.

  “Yeah. Go on home. I’ll have Betty call Wally Lamb to pick Tina up.” I could hear Tina give a little yelp. “I’ve got a lot to get done. I’m going to head on over to the gun show at The Moose Lodge to see what’s going on there.”

  We hung up the phone.

  “Aren’t they gonna have the cutest babies?” Tina asked Betty.

  “Her mama already has the names picked out,” Betty said. When I gave her a cross look, she followed up by saying, “That’s just hearsay and as you can see, hearsay isn’t always the truth.”

  “The truth is what I seek.” I grabbed my bag and made sure I had everything I needed. “I’m going to go see Alma Frederick. Be sure to call Tibbie Bell to let her know that you’re still going to be at Mama’s tonight for the bridal supper.”

  Mama’s bridal supper was the last place I wanted to spend my Friday night. But the way I saw it, in seven days this wedding and hopefully this investigation would both be over and in the rearview mirror of my life.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Duke beat me to the Wagoneer. He was ready to go for a ride no matter where we were headed.

  “Alright, buddy.” I rolled down the windows to let in the fall breeze. “Let’s go to a gun show.”

  There were a couple of cars in the parking lot next to the metal building with big black letters on the side that read “The Moose.”

  The Moose was a great source of pride in Kentucky. The Moose Lodge was founded in Louisville, Kentucky in the late nineteenth century. It was an organization that gave back to their community. Mostly made of men, but some women. Of course, there was a bar that served super cheap drinks and had a band on the weekends, but as for the giving, they gave so much to Cottonwood. They volunteered in the school system and did many fundraising events for our small town.

  There was nothing Mama loved more than a good Moose holiday dance, which was coming up. The Christmas dance was a big deal around here and there was even a Christmas Queen crowned for one of the elder women in the community. It was a sight to see. Truly.

  “You coming?” I held the door and looked at Duke.

  He jumped over into the driver’s seat and hopped out. Soon the parking lot would be full. Everyone loved a good gun show and in the end, it helped them put on the dance, where all the proceeds went to help the needy families in Cottonwood and the local schools.

  “Hey there, Sheriff,” one of the women at the door greeted me from behind a card table. “We’ve got all the necessary paperwork to have all the artillery in here.”

  She flipped open a metal box that had a plastic tray for money. She lifted the tray up and dug through until she found an envelope that had the necessary permits from the clerk’s office.

  “Here you go.” She handed them to me. She pointed to the doors I’d just walked through. “We’ve got the signs posted as well.”

  Not that I was there for that, but it sure did give me a good reason to start snooping around for Alma and Bosco Frederick. The gun show was held in the recreation area where there was a big basketball court. Many of the youth used it for the local summer camps and it was perfectly set up today with display cases full of guns, tables, and even a sort of museum that told the history of Cottonwood, hunting, and The Moose’s contribution to the community.

  “Is your president still Bosco?” I asked.

  “It sure is. His wife is right over there.” She waved a hand in the air. “Alma! Alllllma!” she hollered and got the attention of a woman with a blonde bob haircut that flipped up at the ends all around her head. The top and sides of her hair were flattened down to her head.

  When she walked over, I noticed her polyester brown pants, brown shirt, and white cardigan along with her very sensible brown shoes. She looked like she competed with Lucy. I could definitely see the uptight resemblance.

  “Sheriff,” Alma greeted me with a grin. She stuck her hand out to shake mine and I couldn’t help but notice the big diamond that rested on the top of her ring finger. It had to be the one Viola White had mentioned Bosco had bought Alma.

  Alma was a much older lady than Lucy Ellen and I’d put her in her late sixties, if not seventies. The wrinkles on her hand and neck were much more than I’d expected to see. “I’m sure you’ll find everything in order. My husband has worked nonstop to get everything together for this year’s annual show. Which, as you know, helps fund the Christmas dance.”

  I couldn’t help but notice that her nails weren’t painted. Didn’t Tina tell me that Alma had just been into the salon to get them manicured?

 
“Yes. And the department thanks you for your kind service since I know that you do this out of the goodness of your heart.” I took out the paperwork and pretended to look through it so she’d buy that I was there for that purpose. “Is your husband here?”

  I held the papers toward her and pointed to his signature.

  “Heavens to Betsy, no.” She giggled like I should know that. “Miss the first two weeks of getting the cabin and stand ready? The weather was perfect for a big hog hunt and he’s not about to miss out on that.”

  “That’s right. I’d heard about that from Darnell Lowell.” My chin drew down and I shook my head. “Shame about Lucy.”

  Alma hummed but said nothing more.

  “I guess you and Lucy Ellen were friends since everyone here gets along so well.” It was a simple statement that made her react with a big inhale that caught my attention. Maybe there was something to this gossip Tina and Betty had talked about.

  Like Poppa always said, when it came to gossip and fact, there’s some truth in between the two somewhere; you’ve just got to pick it apart and find it.

  “I wouldn’t call us friends.” Her words had a bit of a sour bite to them.

  “Really?” My head shifted to the side. “I’d heard y’all were pretty good friends since your husbands shared a deer stand together.”

  “Just because they share a deer stand doesn’t mean they share everything. And they stopped sharing recently,” she said, giving Duke a pat on the head. She was as calm as a millpond.

  Duke found her boring after a couple of sniffs and took off toward another woman who offered a much better scratch behind the ear than Alma did.

  I was getting the sense that she knew I wasn’t there for the permit anymore.

  “Of course, we were Ladies of the Moose together and had some of the same friends, but outside of that we weren’t as tight as some would think.” Her chest lifted along with the tip of her chin. “I feel terrible about what happened, but I’m sure Darnell feels worse.”

  “Yes. He’s devastated. I’m sad to think that he and your husband aren’t best friends, because he could use a friend right now. He is already very lonely.” It was a mere suggestion to see if there were any sort of reaction to hint toward what Betty had said about Alma and Darnell having an affair.

  “Jail will do that to you…” Her voice trailed off.

  “Jail?” I asked.

  “Isn’t Darnell in jail?” she asked. When I looked at her funny, she said, “For killing Lucy.”

  “Why on earth would you think that?” I asked.

  “Oh dear.” She waved her hand toward me and got a bit teary eyed. “I’d heard Darnell and Lucy Ellen were having a big fight about the wedding.”

  The wedding. My jaw clenched just thinking about it.

  “Yes. He said that she wanted him to go, but he told her no because he wanted to go hunting.”

  My lips pinched together and flattened out across my face. “Who told you that?”

  “Bosco. He said that it was all the talk at the cabin that night. So when he went home, we figured they got into a fight.” She shrugged. “It’s still a tragedy.”

  “What about their relationship?” I asked and wondered if Bosco had told her all that when in reality he was at the Lowell house pursuing an affair with Lucy. But how would he have poisoned her with the polish?

  “Why are you asking me?” she questioned. “How would I know?”

  “I was thinking that maybe you and Darnell might’ve been a little more than just acquaintances.” There. I said it. I practically accused the woman of having an affair.

  “I see the sheriff has a very active imagination along with the rest of Lucy’s friends. And they’re supposed to be church women. They’re the worst.” She looked me square in the face with a dead-eyed stare. “I think it’s time for me to go work on my display. If you or the department are in the market for some real guns,” her eyes drew down my uniform and stopped at my holster, “y’all should come on over to my booth and buy some. Of course, it all goes to a good cause, just like we all here at the Moose do for our small town. I’ll be here all day long. Not going nowhere.”

  “And we appreciate all the lodge does. My mama and daddy wouldn’t miss the Christmas dance for nothin’.” I tipped my head and excused myself. I patted my thigh. “Here, Duke,” I called.

  Stares and whispers greeted my back when I walked out the door. I’d done what I wanted to do there: put a bug in the ear of the Hunt Club women where I knew the gossip would trickle around.

  When we got back into the Jeep, there was a text from Tibbie. Not only had she thanked me for making amends with Polly, she told me to go back to Blanche’s for a final fitting so Blanche would have a week to get my dress fixed. Then she texted she’d see me tonight at Mama’s.

  “You should be sleeping,” I said to Finn when he called on my way to Blanche’s.

  “I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about this case.” The determination in his tone told me to not even try to get him to rest. “I really want to go back to the Lowell house and check out everything again.”

  “I haven’t been there to clear it, so why don’t we meet up there after I go for my final dress fitting?” I asked.

  “Sounds good.”

  “And I also wanted to know if you wanted to go to the woods tonight.” I had an idea.

  “Huh?” The city slicker was stumped.

  “I think we need to go out and take a look around those hunting woods, maybe check up on Bosco Frederick and see if all those rumors about him and Lucy Ellen were true.” If Bosco wasn’t coming home, I was going to go to him. I quickly filled Finn in on what I’d heard about Bosco’s meandering ways.

  “Are you buying into all that cheating stuff?” he asked.

  “I went to see Alma and she was very uncomfortable with me asking questions. She mentioned that Bosco had told her about the fight between Lucy Ellen and Darnell. He said Darnell had mentioned it but in another breath said they weren’t friends. Why would Darnell tell Bosco something so personal?” I asked. “She also said Darnell was gone from the cabin and fighting with Bosco, but Darnell told us he was at the cabin. I’m wondering if the truth about Bosco and Lucy’s affair was about to come out.”

  “And it was Bosco who wasn’t at the cabin and Lucy Ellen told him about the fight between her and Darnell.” Finn read my mind.

  “That’s what I’m thinking.” I agreed.

  “No wonder you two make such a good team.” Poppa sat in the front seat with a big grin on his face. “He’s not so bad, I guess.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Blanche?” I’d knocked on the door a couple of times and no one answered. “You stay,” I called back to Duke, whose head was stuck out the window enjoying the cooler weather.

  I walked around the side of the house when I heard some music. “Blanche?” I called in the direction of the vegetable garden that looked like it’d seen better days.

  “Kenni, honey.” Blanche stood up with a fistful of weeds in both hands. She dropped them and made her way toward me. “Do you think I’ll ever get this garden winterized?”

  “I know you can.” There wasn’t a single doubt in my mind that whatever Blanche set her mind to, she did.

  “Every year I say that I’m not going to do another garden, but then I forget.” She tapped her finger to her temple. “Maybe I just need a swift kick in the you-know-what when it comes spring and planting a garden.”

  She curled her fingers in the crook of my arm and we started walking toward the house.

  “I hear you’re back in the wedding party.” She squeezed her fingers and used her other hand to pat my arm. “If we ever get this girl married off, we’ll be doing good. But I fear she’s taking this First Lady of Cottonwood thing too far.”

  She opened the screen door that led into her
porch. The dress rack with all the wedding party dresses that was in the bedroom had been moved here.

  “How so?” I asked and stepped inside.

  “She’s now wanting to be introduced by Preacher Bing as the Mayor and First Lady.” Blanche tsked and walked over to the rack, pulling out the green dress. “This sure is ugly.”

  “It’s her dream to have a Gone with the Wind theme.” I bit my lip to stop any sort of gossip about Polly’s wedding. The last thing I needed was to get kicked out again. “I just wish I’d gotten that dress instead.”

  The red one on the hanger was much more flattering.

  “How’s it going, sweetie?” she asked out of concern.

  “Mama and I still haven’t talked much about Christmas and I figure it’s a couple of months away, so I’ll let her let the idea sink in her head for a few weeks and then I’ll just tell her that I’ve got my plane ticket and I’m going.” It sounded so simple and easy, but the thought made me nearly sick to my stomach. Mama was never easy.

  “Your mama will come around.” She took the green dress off the hanger. “I’ve pinned and added some material here.” She patted her hips as if that’s where the happy fat had decided it was happiest. “And a little here.” She patted her stomach.

  “If I wanted to get insulted, I’d have called Mama,” I joked and took the dress she was thrusting toward me.

  “You can just throw it on right here.” She twisted around. “No one is around. Besides, I want to hear all about Lucy Ellen while it’s just me and you.”

  “There’s not much to tell.” I knew I had to keep most of the investigation close to the vest. I slipped the dress over my head and slipped out of my clothes, letting the big ole dress cover me. “I’m still trying to follow leads and talk to people who didn’t think the best of her.”

  “Have you checked out them women at the Hunt Club?” She cocked a brow and gestured for me to turn around. She zipped the dress up. “They’re all swappin’ husbands and cheating and stuff.” Her shoulders jerked when she let out a laugh. “They all worry about me stealing their men, when it’s right underneath their noses.”