by AJ Mullican
“Should we turn out the lights before she gets here?” I realize I’ve never organized a spontaneous surprise party before, and I don’t know if that’s just for birthdays or if this counts, too.
Geiger gives me this blank stare and says, “Why would we have the lights turned out? She knows we’re all at home.”
Oh, yeah. Duh.
Beth bends to pick up Bradley, and Oren hands him over with a charming smile. I raise a brow at him in question when Beth’s not looking, but he just shakes his head.
Damn. They probably didn’t learn anything, or at least not enough for what Asmodeus wants. That means I’ll have to finagle them into babysitter duties or something. Great. How am I going to do that without being suspicious?
The gravel of the Hunters’ drive crunches as Lena and her incubi arrive, and Callie jumps up and down and squeals with excitement. Then it hits me: Callie has been aged and regressed! Maybe I can arrange for the guys to run katas for Callie for a few days until they can examine her more closely. God knows beginners like her need all the help they can get with form and posture, so if the fae are touching up on her it won’t be suspicious.
That just might work.
Before I can put my new plan into motion, the front door opens, and Lena walks in with her hand on her lower back and her boyfriends close behind. The tension in the room has me on edge, and I watch her face for her reaction when she gets to the living room.
She stops, scans the room, pauses at Beth, and forces a broad grin to her pretty face—but not before I see the flash of murderous intent cross her features.
Oh, yeah. She’s gonna kill me for this.
“Hey, Beth! So,” she says through gritted teeth, “whose fun little idea was this?”
Chapter 4
Beth rushes over to Lena to give her a hug with Bradley in tow, but over her friend’s shoulder Lena’s eyes continue to search for the source of her torture. When they lock onto mine, I swallow back a lump in my throat, and the slight narrowing of those eyes tells me I gave myself away with that. When Beth pulls back, beaming, Lena’s expression changes, and I know I’m safe so long as her friend stays over.
Please, please, Beth, stay through dinner. Maybe overnight?
“Isn’t this great, Lena! I didn’t know you had all these new friends! I’m so happy for you!” Beth grins, and Lena diverts her attention away from me … for now.
“I’m so glad you came, Beth! This is sure a surprise.”
“Well, when your friend Molli called me and told me that horrible drug war happened right outside your own house, I had to come make sure you were okay! I mean, she said you weren’t home when it happened, thank God, but just knowing you have to deal with insurance companies and home repairs right before little Ben comes into the world—I just couldn’t say no.”
Damnit. Right under the fucking bus.
“Well, Beth, if there’s anything that can distract me from that headache, it’s a surprise baby shower.” She throws a subtle emphasis on those last three words, and I know my days are numbered.
“Then I am glad our mate had this idea!” Kalen walks up to me and claps me on the back, and I damn near choke on my own spit. “She was concerned you would be upset, but it gladdens me to see the smile on your face at our preparations.”
I fight the urge to facepalm again. I’ve really got to teach the fae how to understand human expressions and social cues.
Like the look of abject terror that I’m wearing right now.
Lena turns to me with ice in her eyes, though her face still wears its mask of calm pleasantry. She takes her time crossing the room to give me the most crushing of hugs, and when she does, she whispers in my ear.
“Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I won’t fucking fireball the shit out of you for this.”
I gulp again and return the hug as best I can, what with her arms pinning mine to my sides.
Beth laughs and grins wider. “So, Lena, what first? Presents or snacks?” She adjusts Bradley on her hip and gestures to the table we’ve set up off to the side. “Or maybe cake first? Coconut flavored!”
Lena finally releases me, and I cough a little as the breath returns to my lungs. “Ooh! So many choices! Let’s see here … Hm, I think I’ll get a little wild and crazy and go for cake first.” She heads over to the table with a razor-sharp glance back my way, and I try my best not to shake in my Kiks. Cherry cuts a large slice for Lena, but instead of eating it, she brings it over to me.
Please, God, no! I fucking hate coconut!
Somehow Lena intuits this, I think, because the evil grin on her face as she offers me the first slice is just the kind of expression I’d expect from someone planning torture. “You know what? I think Molli should have the first piece. She’s just so sweet to orchestrate all this for little ol’ me, and I couldn’t possibly eat this scrumptious cake in front of her without her having a piece, too!”
She shoves the powder blue paper plate into my hands, and I stare at the cake with revulsion. “Um, thanks, Lena, but I couldn’t take this slice from you. Look, Cherry cut it so Ben’s name is right in the middle—so pretty! Go ahead—” I try to hand the plate back “—take the first bite, Miss Guest of Honor.”
“Molli, it would be most impolite to decline Miss Lena’s offer.” Kalen grins and lays an arm across my shoulders, holding me in place.
Damn. No avenue of escape now.
“But wouldn’t it be more impolite to steal the first piece from the mom-to-be?”
“Oh, no, Molli,” Lena’s voice drips sugary-sweet venom as she loads her plastic fork with a humongous bite. “I insist.”
Fuck.
I close my eyes and open my mouth, and Lena pushes the cake-laden fork past my lips. I clamp my jaws shut and fight a gag reflex as I chew, coconut flakes drifting onto my cleavage from the frosting smeared on my lips.
Somehow I manage to swallow the disgusting bite without retching. When I open my eyes, Lena wears a smug, satisfied smirk. “What do you think?”
I lick the frosting from my mouth—ew!—and swallow again. “Mm! Yummy! You really should eat the rest of that slice, Lena.”
“Nonsense!” The paper plate crackles as she rams it into my chest. “You finish this one.”
Cherry starts to cut another slice, and Lena stops her from cutting such a big one this time. “Nope! I’m the size of a bus already! Just a little slice for me. Biggest slice goes to Molli for orchestrating this wonderful surprise.”
Everyone turns to me, eyes on my plate. Kalen nudges me and whispers the loudest whisper ever in my ear. “My love, you must finish it. It would be rude to deny Lena on her special day.”
God damn it. Peer pressure sucks.
I manage to force down the rest of the cake, bite by agonizing bite, and Lena watches me the whole time with a sly grin on her face. She sprinkles extra coconut on her slice and winks at me as I swallow the last bite.
I hand my plate to Kalen and excuse myself to use the bathroom.
The combination of gross coconut overload and edgy nerves ends in a violent upheaval once I’m alone. I rid myself of the cake, trying to retch quietly, and inside I curse Lena’s witchy instincts. That must be how she knew I hated coconut.
It doesn’t taste any better on the way back out, and I grab a random toothbrush—at this point, I don’t care if it’s Cherry’s or Geiger’s or whoever’s—and brush my teeth until my gums bleed and I banish the taste of vomited coconut cake from my mouth.
Oren waits for me when I open the bathroom door, and he puts a hand on my belly, sending a thread of his magic to settle my angry stomach.
“Better?”
The lingering shakes from my ralphing episode fade, and I sigh with relief. “Yeah. Thanks, baby.”
“Why did you eat the cake if you did not like it?”
I peek around the corner into the living room, where Lena’s started opening gifts. “Because she scares me.”
“You are frightened of witches?�
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Lena holds up the powder-blue baby onesie I bought for Ben with what little cash I had, and from the look on her face I think she was expecting something different. Like, maybe baby biker clothes.
Fuck my life! I can’t get anything right today.
“Just the one witch,” I say as I steel myself to go back in there.
Oren clamps a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Do not fear, Molli. She is slowed down by her pregnancy. You would surely win any challenge she chose to raise against you.”
I’m a quick little thing, but I doubt I could dodge fireballs for long.
When I get back in the living room, Lena fake-squeals in joy and hefts herself out of her chair to give me another stifling hug. “Oh, Molli, it’s so cute! I can’t wait to dress Ben up in his little onesie!”
Oh, God, just kill me now and get it over with.
“I’m glad you like it! Sorry I couldn’t get you more stuff for him, but a waitress’s salary sucks.”
She leans back, a flash of some emotion crossing her face—was that compassion?—and she shifts to give me a more genuine embrace. “Thanks.”
With that, the tension between us dissipates, and I hug her back.
The next couple of hours go off without a hitch, and Lena even laughs as we play a game where she tries to feed each of us baby food while we’re blindfolded. I finally allow myself to relax, and I don’t even complain when she spikes my baby food with coconut shavings. Granted, coconut does not go with pureed peas and carrots, but since it’s all in good fun I go ahead and eat it without fussing.
By the time Lena opens all the presents, the living room overflows with diapers, baby bottles, infant clothes, formula, diaper bags, a changing table (assembled in front of us by the two youngest Hunter brothers—shirtless—who us ladies ogle without shame), burp rags, bibs, binkies, and a myriad assortment of newborn-safe toys. Beth’s gift basket, in addition to some baby essentials, also has self-care stuff for Lena. Bath bombs, massage oils, and a cute little handmade “coupon book” with vouchers for things like a date night away from the kid, free sitter for an evening, breakfast in bed, et cetera.
We sit amidst the chaos of gifts and discarded wrapping paper, many of us opting for seats on the floor to give the two pregnant women and the resident mom proper chairs, and exchange anecdotes about our own experiences growing up. It’s all super sweet, and I get this warm, fuzzy feeling from the sheer normalcy of it all, a welcome respite from the stress of demonic activity and the looming Hell on Earth.
I get an annoying reminder of our otherworldly responsibilities when a knock at the front door announces an unexpected guest. The wolf shifters all snarl a little under their breath, and Lena rolls her eyes.
“Who the fuck invited my Father-in-law?” she grumbles as Kamran stands to let Him in.
How does everyone know who’s there? Man, I fucking hate being a lowly human sometimes.
Asmodeus strides into the living room like He fucking owns the place, and I swear from Beth’s half-gasp, half-moan that she just about creamed herself when she laid eyes on Him. Not that I blame her, exactly, because what defense do us human women have against a fucking sex demon Prince? Dark skin, sensuous lips, lashes to die for … I know I damn near jumped His bones when I first saw Him, and He introduced Himself while I was having hot sex with my three fae.
“Good day, everyone.” He bows with a smoldering grin. “I do apologize for crashing this lovely party, but I must speak with Molli for a moment, if I may.”
Shit. What the fuck does He want now?
I follow the demon Lord of Lust outside and wait as He closes the front door behind us and snaps His fingers. I don’t notice anything different, but when I glance inside through the windows, nobody’s moving. He must’ve done some weird demon magic to freeze them while we talk.
Makes sense. Even with the door closed, I bet Cherry and her mates would be able to hear every word we say.
“Well?” Half of me wants to snap at Him for interrupting our rare moment of fun, half of me wants to climb His fine self, mount Him, and ride Him like there’s no tomorrow.
Oh, wait … If He’s here, there might not be a tomorrow.
“I come to see what your fae have discovered about the aging process my wayward children have developed.”
“Jesus Christ, Asmodeus, it’s barely been a day! They haven’t had time to find out anything yet.” The sex-craved half of me quiets down as the rational side of me gets irritated. “We’d do a lot better if we had a life-touched fae around to help. My guys have a variety of magics, but that’s the one that would figure this out the quickest.”
“So if you had a life-touched fae among you, you could solve the riddle?” He pauses and rubs His chin. “Fine. I shall visit Her Majesty again and make the proper arrangements.”
I roll my eyes. “You mean You’re going to fuck Her again.”
“If that is necessary to strike the bargain required, yes.”
Something needles at the back of my mind, and it takes me a second to figure out what’s so wrong about this visit. “Hey, Asmodeus, can other demons track You?”
He blinks a few times before answering. “Some can, yes. All of my children can sense my whereabouts while I am on Earth, and my brother Princes of Hell can as well.”
Shit! “Dude, get the fuck out of here!”
“Why?”
I put my hands on His chest—oh, fuck! Those muscles!—and give Him a shove towards the steps. “Go! You’ve probably just led the fucking army right here.”
Asmodeus’s amber eyes go wide, and He snaps His fingers again, disappearing in a burst of rancid rotten-egg-smelling smoke. I turn to open the door, and as my hand reaches for the knob I smell more of the foul odor.
I barely manage to duck as a fireball incinerates the door.
Chapter 5
Acrid smoke fills my lungs, and I erupt in an epic coughing fit as I scramble through the destroyed door to get out of the open.
“We’ve got—cough cough—company!” Once inside, I tuck and roll through the entryway, coming to a low crouch just inside the living room, facing the smoldering front door.
Poor Beth’s screams damn near burst my eardrums with their shrill volume, and I spare a glance behind me to see that two of Lena’s demon boyfriends have moved to stand guard over her and Bradley, while the other two shield Lena and Callie with their bodies. Rick and Billy stand in front of Cherry, holding her back, leaving me the only woman unguarded.
Good. Four less distractions, five if you count Bradley, but I’m grouping him with Beth as one slightly larger distraction.
Lena does something with her hands, and Beth quiets. Her eyes go blank, and Kamran takes baby Bradley while Arman lowers the mother to the floor, hopefully out of harm’s way should more fireballs go flying.
I turn back towards the threat and hold a hand behind me, palm out. I don’t need to look. I know one of my guys has a sword ready to hand me. For once, I’m grateful for their sword-stashing paranoia. I close my fingers around the hilt and take a moment to test the weight. Sweet. They gave me one of mine, with proper balance. Not that I couldn’t handle whichever blade they put in my hand, but I’ve practiced more with my own.
My mind races through a threat assessment as I wait for the next barrage. Because I’ve taken partial cover in the living room, I can’t see how many demons there are. This could be deadly for us, but we have the benefit of the doorway creating a bottleneck should they decide to rush inside. I brace myself for an onslaught, ready to spring into action no matter what comes through the still-smoking opening.
Then a dark shadow blocks out the sunlight streaming in, and in its place looms a scaly, rotting snout with row after row of jagged snapping teeth. The snout fills half the entrance, and I am so not ready for this.
Hot, steamy, foul-smelling breath assaults me with each vicious snap, and I watch the floor disintegrate when a drop of bright green saliva hits it.
Fuck. The damn
thing has acid spit.
Though the animal part of my brain screams at me to back the fuck up and get out of here, the fighter in me tries to see an opening—any opening—for attack.
A whooshing sound whiffs past my ear as someone behind me sends a fireball flying at the monster’s snout, but the incendiary ball just bounces off of it. Something tells me then that fae magic won’t help here, because Kalen’s fire would probably just roll off the smoke-smelling thing as well, and I doubt Oren’s water magic would do any damage to it. I don’t know what Finn’s spirit-touched energy could do to a thing like this, but I’d rather not risk letting him have a go at it to find out.
Guess this is on me. Maybe if I slide under the jaw and swing out and up, I can snag an important neck artery.
Before I can move, three huge grey blurs sail over me, landing on the snout with vicious growls. I can’t tell the wolves apart by sight yet, but judging from the size of them, it’s three of Cherry’s mates and not Cherry herself. Her wolf, if I recall, is much smaller than theirs. Something about transference of mass or some such science crap that I didn’t bother to pay attention to earlier.
Well, crap. Now I have to rethink my plan of attack. Gotta dodge the massive clamping jaws and avoid hitting my friends in the process.
Time to reset.
Resting on the balls of my feet, I shift my weight to the front and position my sword to block a tooth should the beast shake the wolves free. I creep forward, waiting for that one little opening that I need.
The middle wolf yelps and falls off, and I dive over his body to land underneath the thrashing snout. No time to check on him; I slash and roll to the side, and the fucking thing lets out a roar that almost deafens me. Hard as it is, I resist the urge to clamp my hands over my ears. If I go deaf from this, I go deaf. Better deaf than dead.
Inside, I hear a scream.
“Geiger!”
Cherry. Shit, I hope the guy’s still alive.
“Oren, can you get to him?” I yell out over the din of the beast’s bellowing and do another dive-and-slash, this time landing fully outside.