by B. B. Hamel
I turn around, breaking the kiss for a moment. I press myself against his chest and kiss him again, losing myself in his arms .
Slowly, he breaks it off, a smile on his lips. “I’ve been thinking about that since I first met you,” he says softly .
I blink up at him, surprised. “I didn’t know .”
“Yes, you did.” He smirks at me. “You see the way we all look at you .”
“You… all?” My eyes go wide. “You know ?”
“Of course I know,” he says .
I step back away from him. “I thought …”
“It’s okay,” he says. “Nobody minds. If you want to kiss all of us, I mean .”
“I don’t know… I don’t know .”
“Hey, sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to freak you out .”
“I just need to think about this .”
“Okay. I understand .”
I turn and quickly walk away from the house .
I don’t know where I’m going, but my head’s spinning. They all know about it… they all know about kissing me. I’m sure they all know about Aiden, too. Does that mean Henry knows? No, I don’t think so, not based on that conversation earlier .
Still, this is crazy. Five gorgeous guys all want me, and they don’t seem to mind if I explore each of them .
I can’t do this. It’s so far beyond me, and yet it feels good. Tonight is proof of that. I can kiss two guys in a night and keep them separate from each other, and both feel equally good, though different. I want more of them, all of them. I want to see how far I can take this, how good it can feel… and I think they do, too .
I keep walking, head spinning, afraid to go back to the party. I’m afraid of what I might do when I’m back there. Or really, I’m afraid of what I’ll let one of them to do more… or more than one of them .
10
Carter
I squint against the glare of the sun and try to go back to reading, but I can’t seem to concentrate on anything .
I have a stack of undergrad papers that I need to grade. Working at the university means I mostly deal with grad students, but I still have at least one section of Intro to Physics every semester. It’s fine, I don’t hate it, although I prefer the smaller seminar classes as opposed to the big lecture halls. Still, I’m a professor, so I do like to hear myself talk sometimes .
I need to get these papers graded, but I can’t seem to make myself do it. Instead, I keep glancing off to the side at where Emily’s lying on her blanket, the straps of her bikini pulled down, her eyes shut against the sun .
For a second, I can imagine that we’re alone out here near the waves, just me and her. Part of me wants that, just some time alone with her, normal time alone outside of this house, although I’m afraid that the spell might break if we do leave this place .
Unfortunately, all the other guys are here. They’re playing catch with a football over in the sand not too far away, and I want to get up and throw it around too, but I’m stuck trying to actually get this stuff done .
“How’s it going?” Emily glances at me, a little smile on her face .
“Shit,” I say. “I can’t concentrate .”
“What’s so distracting?” she asks .
“You,” I answer honestly .
She just laughs. “Good one.” She turns back forward and closes her eyes again .
That’s the truth, though. I keep thinking about her, about our kiss. I’ve been wanting to kiss her since I came here, and part of me thought that if I could get it out of my system then I could move on. All the other guys want her, and I hate the idea of being in some macho competition for her. It’s gross and not my thing, so I figured if I can kiss her, I can get it over with and put it behind me .
Instead, that kiss only made me want her more. It’s impossible to win in this situation. I don’t want to be involved in this, I don’t want to fight for Emily’s attention, but I can’t help it. The more I think about that kiss, the more I’m sure that I need more from her .
I’ve kissed a lot of women in my life. Done a lot more than just kiss, too, if I’m being honest. I’m a young, attractive, intelligent guy. I don’t have trouble meeting people .
But I’ve never been so pulled into someone before like I am with Emily. I feel so drawn to her in a way that I can’t really describe. The thought of trying to find another woman actively repulses me, especially with her sitting right there .
And yet… I don’t know, I hate the idea of fighting for her. I just want to have her, to make her feel good, to let her make me feel good. Things should be simple, especially out here on vacation, but they’re most decidedly not .
“Hey, professor .”
I look up to see Henry standing over me, grinning and sweating from running around in the sun .
“Hey, yourself,” I say. “You’re getting sweat on these papers .”
“Eh, the kids don’t care. Hey, join me in the water for a swim, will you ?”
I hesitate a second, but shrug. “Sure, why not. Can’t get this shit done anyway .”
“Cool. Come on.” He heads off as I stand up and shove the papers and my pen back into my bag. I pull off my shirt and catch Emily watching me. I give her a wink, which makes her blush and turn away .
I hurry after Henry. He’s already in the water, swimming around on his back, as I wade out toward him. Water’s not too bad, not too cold but definitely not warm .
“How’s it going?” he asks me .
“I got two done,” I admit .
“Shit. Out of how many ?”
“Thirty something,” I say .
He laughs. “Sounds like you’re fucked .”
“You’re not wrong, my friend.” I sigh and lean back, floating in the water .
We float like that together for a little while in silence. I always liked this about Henry: he knows when to talk and when to just enjoy the quiet together. It’s never awkward with him like it is with some people. When we’re not talking, I don’t feel the need to try and fill silence with boring chatter, and neither does he. We talk when there’s something to say .
The other guys are still playing ball and I think Emily’s trying to pretend like she’s sleeping. I smile a little bit as we bob up and down in the waves .
“Hey, Carter?” he says. “Let me ask you something .”
“Go ahead,” I say .
He hesitates a second. “Have the guys been… flirting with Emily ?”
I look over at him. “Why are you asking ?”
“I don’t know,” he says. He moves up off his back and watches me. “I’ve noticed some things, you know .”
I narrow my eyes at him. I honestly didn’t think he’d say anything, or really that he’d even seen it. Say what you will about Henry but he’s not the most observant person in the world .
“Why do you want to know, Henry?” I ask him finally .
“Because, what kind of older brother would I be if I didn’t care?” he asks me .
“She’s not a child anymore, you know .”
“I know,” he says, sighing. “It’s strange. I’m so much older than she is. I remember when she was born. I remember how angry I was. I think I hated her when I was younger. And then as I got older, I kept telling myself that I was going to get to know her, you know, become her brother. And it just never happened .”
“It’s not too late for that,” I tell him honestly. “You’re a good person, Henry. You just have to let yourself be .”
“Maybe. But I just don’t want her getting involved with you guys .”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to answer you .”
“I know you don’t. You’re loyal .”
“It’s more than that .”
He stares at me silently for a few second. “You?” he asks .
I can’t lie to him. I’ve known him for too long, gone through too much shit with him. I can’t pretend like it’s not true, I owe him better than that .
“I
can’t deny it,” I say .
“Shit,” he says softly. “Et tu, Brute ?”
“Come on, it’s not like that. Your sister, she’s smart and funny and interesting .”
“She’s my sister.” He gives me a look .
I stand up straight as a wave comes. “I know that .”
“Just promise you won’t do anything about it .”
“I can’t make that promise .”
“You asshole.” He sighs. I can tell he’s not angry, but he is definitely disappointed. That actually feels worse .
“Better a friend, right?” I ask him .
“No. Not at all.” He turns and swims back to shore, leaving me there alone in the water .
I watch him climb back up onto the sand. Daniel says something to him but he just shakes his head and wraps a towel around his shoulders. He retreats under an umbrella and sits down to sulk .
I sigh again and lay back in the water. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I just leave the poor guy’s sister alone ?
Maybe I’m just weaker than I thought I was .
I hear splashing and look up. Emily’s coming into the water. I watch her as she gets closer, gorgeous and wet and beautiful. She smiles at me a little uncertainly. “What were you guys talking about?” she asks .
I shrug. “Not much .”
“He seemed pissed when he got out .”
I look away from her. “He asked me if people have been flirting with you .”
“And?”
“And I told him that I have and wouldn’t promise that I’d stop. I don’t think he liked that .”
“Why couldn’t you promise that?” she asks me, eyes wide .
I meet her gaze. “You know damn well why. You think I’m distracted because I’m tired?” I shake my head. “No, I’ve been thinking about the way it felt to kiss you under the stars .”
She stares at me for a second and bites her lower lip before looking away, shaking her head. “Henry would be so angry,” she says .
“I know .”
We float together in silence for a few minutes before the rest of the guys decide to join us. They’re loud and funny and I laugh along with them. We’re all flirting with Emily, though I think we’re all trying to keep it under control when Henry’s around. He stays under the umbrella for a bit but eventually he can’t help himself, and rejoins the group once they start throwing a ball through the water, skipping it off the waves .
I keep glancing at Emily, and she seems like she’s having a good time. I want that smile to last. Really, I want more of that smile for myself. Call me selfish, maybe it’s true, but I can’t stop how I feel. I want more of her, much more. I only got a taste, and now I know I have to keep going, no matter what .
11
Emily
I look at myself in the mirror, and I don’t recognize the girl looking back at me .
I guess that’s the point. I mean, it’s a costume party, so I’m supposed to let loose a little bit .
The theme is “superheroes,” which makes me smile. Sure, superheroes are less nerdy and a bigger part of the culture these days, but leave it to Henry to pick something dorky. Still, we all went into town and found the only costume shop in a fifty-mile radius. I ended up buying a Spiderman outfit, although I guess this is Spider Girl .
It’s tight spandex, red, black and blue, like the normal Spidey costume. Except there’s a little black mask and the top is low cut, showing off my breasts. I guess there’s no point in wearing a costume if it’s not at least a little bit sexy, but still, this seems absurd. I mean, what kind of superhero girl would have such a low-cut costume? Maybe it’s supposed to distract my male opponents .
I adjust myself a little bit, feeling nervous. I have no clue how many people are going to be here tonight. I’d bet less than normal, since I doubt many people want to dress up in a superhero costume in the middle of August, but who knows with Henry .
There’s a knock at my door. “Come in,” I call out .
The door opens. Henry comes in, wearing a Thor costume. “Eh?” he says. “How does it look ?”
I laugh a little bit. “It looks great .”
“Thanks,” he says, and raises an eyebrow. “That’s a, uhm, very inaccurate Spiderman outfit .”
“I know, right? I wonder why all female superheroes always have such sexy outfits. Especially the ones that carry broadswords .”
He gives me a look but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he changes the topic. “Look, I wanted to talk to you for a second .”
“What’s up ?”
He seems a little awkward. He walks into the room and sits down on my bed. “Listen, uh, I know I haven’t exactly been the greatest older brother in the world .”
“I haven’t been the best younger sister,” I point out .
He shrugs. “You’re a lot younger. I think a lot of the burden should be on me. But anyway, listen for a second .
“Okay,” I say, and I let him continue .
“I know I haven’t been the best, but I want to be better. And that’s why I want to tell you to stay away from my friends .”
I raise an eyebrow, surprised. “Seriously ?”
“Look, I know that sounds bad,” he says quickly. “I’m saying it for your own good. I mean, they’re not bad guys, but they’re all bachelors. Have been forever. I’ve seen them break so many hearts, you wouldn’t believe it .”
I do believe it, I really, really do, I think to myself .
“They’re good people. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. So please, stay away. Just have a good time without them .”
I sigh. “Henry, I can’t help it, you know that. If they want to talk to me, I’m not going to ignore them .”
“I know,” he says quickly. “I’m not unreasonable. I just mean, don’t get… physical with them .”
I grin at him. “You mean, I shouldn’t fuck your friends ?”
He winces. “Yeah,” he says .
“Don’t be such a prude .”
“You’re my sister. It’s weird .”
“This conversation is weird. And I’m not a kid anymore .”
“I know.” He sighs and looks down at the floor. “I’m not trying to be a dick. Just try, okay ?”
“Okay,” I say. “But Henry, I can’t promise anything .”
He nods and stands. “Good enough. See you down there .”
He leaves my room as fast as he can .
I smile a little bit at the door before sitting down on the bed and flopping onto my back. What the hell am I going to do? I clearly want more of these guys, I mean it’s all I think about lately. What they’re thinking, what they’d taste like, how far I can push it… the fact that all five want me is still so crazy, but I’m starting to accept it .
I want to do what Henry wants. He’s trying to be a good brother, and he’s letting me stay in his place. I think he means well, and I believe him when he says that it’s for my own good, but I’m a grown woman. He can’t see that, and talking about sex with my brother is so icky and weird, but he has to accept it .
I stand up slowly and get back in front of the mirror. I fix my hair, and I can’t help but wonder if the guys are going to like my costume. I can’t wait to see them and find out which ones try to kiss me tonight, if any of them do. I know I won’t be saying no, even though I should .
I’m learning to embrace what I want and I’m not shying away from it .
* * *
W ay more people show up than I expected .
The place is packed. There are a ton of Supermen, lots of Spidermen, a few Wolverines, and a few heroes I don’t recognize at all. There are a lot of women too, and they’re all dressed up as well. Of course, they’re in sexy superhero outfits, some sexier than others. There’s a Supergirl that’s basically wearing just body paint on top. I can’t stop looking at her boobs, even though I don’t want to .
I spot Aiden first. He’s dressed as Superman, of course, and it fits him. He loo
ks hot as hell in that outfit, and he looks ripped as well. Those aren’t fake abs, I know that for sure. I spot Daniel next, and he’s wearing some sort of black outfit with a leather jacket and a skull on the shirt .
“Who are you supposed to be?” I have to ask him .
“The Punisher,” he says, grinning at me. “Want to find out why ?”
I laugh and shake my head .
Ryan comes up as we’re talking. He’s dressed as Aquaman, though the cooler, more contemporary version. I spot Carter nearby, dressed as Cyclops from the X-Men, and James is dressed as Batman .
“I can’t believe he pulled this off,” Ryan says to me .
“I know,” I agree. “I didn’t know this many superheroes existed, to be honest .”
“I doubt half these people even know who they’re dressed as,” Daniel says. “Not like it really matters. Makes Henry happy, though .”
“Are you a comic book fan?” I ask him .
He shrugs. “A little bit. Not really, honestly .”
“I read them when I was a kid,” Ryan admits .
“You nerd,” Daniel teases .
“I think it’s cool,” I say, “although I thought you didn’t read .”
Ryan grins at me. “I don’t now, but I did back then. Had a lot more free time .”
“I’ve got nothing against comics,” Daniel says. “I like all the movies, honestly .”
“Me too,” I agree .
“And let’s be real here, you’re by far the most attractive Spiderman in the room .”
I smile at him. “Yeah, right. I think I saw a supermodel wearing a Spiderman outfit .”
“She doesn’t compare,” Ryan agrees. “I mean seriously. Look at this ass.” He turns me around, making me laugh. “Look at it, Daniel. Perfect, right ?
“God damn,” he says. “Absolutely perfect .”
“And these tits?” Ryan turns me around the other way. “I could fucking come on these tits for the rest of my life .”