Julius eased back to look down at her. ‘I want you to do something for me.’
‘What?’
He took her by the hands in a gentle hold. ‘I want you to come out on the balcony with me.’
Holly tried to pull away but his grip tightened. ‘No. No. Don’t ask me to do that. I won’t. I can’t.’
He kept her imprisoned hands close to his chest. ‘I’ll be with you the whole time. I won’t let go of you. Trust me, Holly.’
She felt the panic rise in her chest. Felt the bookcase flatten her lungs until she could barely inflate them enough to breathe. Could she do it? Could she trust him to stand by her and hold her, to help her confront her worst nightmare? Her skin crawled with dread. Her heart raced. Her stomach churned. ‘I—I’m not sure I can do it... My stepfather used to drag me out there by the hair. He would lock me out there and then beat up my mum while I watched. Don’t make me do it. I c-can’t.’
Julius’s expression flinched as she spoke but he kept hold of her hands, holding her gaze as he kissed her clenched knuckles one by one. ‘Don’t let him win any longer, querida. All this time he’s had it over you by controlling you with fear. Give your fear to me. Trust me. I won’t let you fall.’
I think I’m already falling, Holly thought. Feelings she had never expected to feel for anyone were slipping past the barriers she had erected around her heart. Her defences were no match for his tenderness, his concern, his steadiness and support. She couldn’t allow herself to fall for him. This was a temporary arrangement that would end once her community service was over. She was a fool to imagine any other outcome. He was from a completely different world. He would have no place for her in it. She didn’t belong. She was an outcast. A misfit. A nobody that nobody wanted.
‘Okay...’ Her voice came out scratchy as it squeezed past the strangulation of her fear.
He led her to the balcony doors. ‘Okay so far?’
She nodded, swallowing another wave of panic. He opened the doors, and the fresh air wafted over her face. She gripped his hand so tightly she wondered why he didn’t wince in pain.
‘Good girl,’ he said. ‘Now, take one step at a time. We’ll stop if it gets too much. It’s your call.’
Holly took one step onto the balcony on legs as unsteady as a new-born foal’s. The smell of freshly mown grass drifted past her nostrils. She tried to concentrate on the view, hoping it would distract her from thinking about the fear that chilled her to the bone.
‘You’re doing so well,’ he said. ‘Want to try a couple more steps?’
She took another thorny breath and moved one step forward. His hands squeezed hers in encouragement. She looked up at him and gave him a wobbly smile. ‘Nice view from up here.’
‘Yes,’ he said but she noticed he wasn’t looking at the view.
Holly looked at their joined hands. He wasn’t letting her go. He wasn’t pushing her beyond her limits. He had held true to his promise. The weight of fear began to lift off her chest. She could breathe. She could feel her heart rate gradually slowing. She wasn’t cured by any means but she had made progress. She hadn’t been anywhere near a balcony since she’d been a teenager. Years of terror had stalked her. Controlled her. She had taken two steps forward into a future without fear. Two steps. It wasn’t much but it was enough to give her a glimmer of hope.
Holly looked up into his deep-blue gaze. ‘Thank you...’
‘I haven’t done anything,’ he said. ‘I was just holding your hand. Next time will be easier. Soon you’ll be doing it all by yourself.’
‘I’m not so sure about that,’ she said with a little shudder.
‘You underestimate yourself,’ he said. ‘You can do anything if you try. You have so much potential. Don’t let anyone take it away from you.’
Holly pulled away to go back inside. She hugged her elbows with her hands crossed over. It was all very well for him to talk about potential. He’d had a good education. Family money and opportunities she could only dream about. He might find his parents difficult but at least he had them.
She had no one.
Julius came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. ‘Would you like to go out to dinner?’
Holly turned to look at him with a frown. ‘In public?’
‘That’s where the restaurants tend to be.’
‘Yes, and so are people with camera phones.’
‘I know a quiet little place where we won’t be disturbed,’ he said. ‘I know the guy who runs it. He’ll let us have a private room.’
Holly hadn’t quite let her frown go. ‘Why are you doing this?’
‘Doing what?’
‘Acting like this is a normal relationship.’
A muscle moved near his mouth. ‘You deserve a break from cooking, surely?’
‘Then order takeaway.’
‘It’s just dinner,’ he said. ‘I sometimes take Sophia out for a meal.’
‘I’d rather not.’
‘Why not? You have the clothes to wear.’
Holly unwrapped her body from the sheet she was wearing and reached for a bathrobe. ‘I’m happy to sleep with you, okay? But don’t ask me to act like we’re a proper couple. Date nights are out of the question.’
‘Fine,’ he said casually but it didn’t fool her for a second. ‘Forget I asked.’
Holly bit down on her lip as he strode into the en suite. He was upset with her for refusing but what else could she do? Dinner would have been nice but how could she control her emotions if he pressed her to do couple stuff? A romantic dinner for two was just plain wrong. She was not his romantic partner.
She never would be.
* * *
Julius knew he had no right to feel annoyed Holly had refused to go out in public with him. He knew they weren’t in a relationship. It was just a fling. A convenient interlude that was going to end once her community service was up. He should, in principle, be in agreement about keeping their affair out of the public eye but he had wanted to spend time with her away from the villa where she felt like a member of his staff rather than his equal. He wanted them to be just two ordinary people who had an attraction for each other. He wanted to spoil her in a way she had never been spoilt before.
The very fact she didn’t want to go public about their involvement was a confirmation of the sort of person she was underneath all that ‘junkyard dog’ bluster. She was sensitive and easily hurt. She hid that vulnerability behind her don’t-mess-with-me façade. The horror of her past sickened him. He wanted to make it up to her. To make her feel safe in a way she had never felt before. He needed time to do that. But how much time did he have? Not much. Not enough.
For some reason every time he thought of her leaving he got a pain below his ribs. A tight, cramping pain as if someone was jabbing him. What would happen to her when she went to England? She had no one. No family to watch out for her. She would be totally alone. His family annoyed the hell out of him most of the time but at least he knew they were there when he needed them. Who would Holly turn to if things went sour?
The way she had trusted him to take her out on the balcony had moved him deeply. He had seen the years of terror in her face. Felt it in her hands as they gripped his so tightly. And yet she had stood out there in his arms and given him a shaky smile, trusting him to keep her safe. Who would keep her safe once she left him?
Why the heck was he ruminating so much about her leaving? Of course she had to leave. It was what she wanted. A new start in her mother’s homeland. A chance to get her life back on track, to pursue her dreams and put her past behind her. A past Julius would be part of. Would she ever think of him? Miss him?
He gave himself a mental shake and tried to refocus on the programme code in front of him. He wasn’t supposed to be developing feelings for her. It was fine to care
about someone, sure. It was fine to want to see her get on her feet and reach her potential. But caring so much he couldn’t bear to think of letting her go was ridiculous. He hadn’t wanted her to come here in the first place. How could he possibly want her to stay indefinitely?
He didn’t do indefinitely.
Julius’s mobile rang, and he was about to ignore it but changed his mind when he saw it was his sister, Miranda. Finally. ‘Nice of you to get back to me.’
‘I’m sorry but I didn’t feel like talking to anyone,’ Miranda said.
It was what his baby sister did when things got difficult. She went to ground. He knew she would call him eventually but it worried him she had left it so long. ‘You okay?’
‘God, it’s just so embarrassing,’ she said. ‘Mum is beside herself and for once I can’t blame her.’
‘Have you met the girl yet?’
‘No,’ Miranda said. ‘Dad’s pushing for it. He wants a big family reunion. Can you believe it? Talk about lack of sensitivity. I just want to run away and hide some place until it all blows over.’
‘Have the press hassled you for a comment?’
‘Like, every day,’ she said. ‘The worse thing is they keep making comparisons. I’m now officially known as the ugly sister.’
‘That’s rubbish and you know it,’ Julius said.
‘Have you seen her, Julius?’ Miranda asked. ‘She’s stunning. Like one of those lingerie supermodels. And guess what? She’s an aspiring actor. Dad is so proud he finally produced a child with theatrical ambition. He keeps going on and on about it. It’s nauseating.’
‘What’s she been in? I haven’t heard of her before now.’
‘She’s only been in amateur things but now all she’ll have to do is name drop and the red carpet will be rolled out for her. You wait and see.’
‘Connections will only get her so far,’ Julius said. ‘She’ll need talent.’
Miranda gave a gusty sigh. ‘I don’t want to talk about it any more. So, how are you?’
‘Fine. Been busy working.’
‘Same old.’
He gave a rueful smile. ‘Same old.’
‘When are you coming over?’ she said. ‘Have you got any plans to visit?’
‘Not right now.’
There was a short silence.
‘Are you dating someone?’ Miranda asked.
Julius tossed the question back even though he already knew the answer. ‘Are you?’
‘I know you think I’m wasting my life but I loved Mark,’ Miranda said in her stock-standard defensive tone she used whenever the topic of her moving on with her life was brought up.
‘I know you did, sweetheart,’ Julius said gently. ‘And he loved you. But if things were the other way around I reckon he would’ve moved on by now.’
‘You obviously haven’t been in love,’ Miranda said. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to lose the only person in the world you want to be with.’
Julius felt that sudden pang beneath his ribs again. He was going to lose Holly. In a matter of days, she would be gone. He would never see her again.
Which was how it should be, as she had a right to move on with her new life without him interfering.
Julius put his phone down after he’d finished listening to his little sister tell him a thousand reasons why she would never date another man. He let out a long sigh. There were times when he wondered if love was worth all the heartache. So far he had avoided it.
So far...
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A COUPLE OF days later Julius finished a tele-conference that had taken longer than he’d expected and went in search of Holly. She was out by the pool scooping out leaves with the net. ‘One of the groundsmen can do that,’ he said.
She turned around and smiled one of her cheeky smiles. ‘Have you got something you’d rather me do indoors?’
He put his arms around her, bringing her bikini-clad body against his fully clothed one. ‘Why are you always wandering around the place half-dressed?’ he growled at her playfully.
‘All the better to tempt you, my dear,’ she said.
Julius brought his mouth down to hers. The heat of their mouths meeting always surprised him. Delighted him. She didn’t kiss in half-measures. She kissed with her whole body. He drew her closer, his body responding to the slim, sun-kissed contours of hers. He kept on kissing her as he unhooked her bikini top so he could access her breasts. Her hands went to the buttons of his shirt, undoing each one with spine-tingling purpose.
He put his mouth to her breast, sucking, licking and teasing the engorged flesh until she was making breathless little sounds of need. He untied the strings of her bikini bottoms and cupped the pert curves of her bottom in his hands.
She tilted her head back to look at him. ‘This is a little unfair. I’m completely naked and you’re fully dressed.’
Julius swept his tongue over her pouting bottom lip. ‘Let’s take this indoors.’
She rubbed against him sensuously. ‘Why not have a swim with me first?’
He couldn’t resist her in this mood. She was so damn sexy he could barely hold himself in check. Within seconds he, too, had stripped off—apart from a quickly sheathed condom—and was in the pool with her, holding her against his aroused body as she smiled up at him with those dancing, caramel-brown eyes. He lowered his mouth to hers, his senses reeling as her tongue came into play with his. Her hands were around his waist, then caressing his chest, then going even lower to hold him until he was ready to explode. The water only heightened the sensations. The silky cool of it against their heated bodies made him all the more frantic for release.
He walked her backwards until she was up against the edge of the pool but, rather than have her back marked by the pool’s edge, he turned her so her back was against the front of his body. He kissed his way from her earlobe to her neck and back again, trailing his tongue over her scented flesh, wondering how he was going to stop himself coming ahead of schedule with her bottom pressed up against his erection. She made a sound of encouragement, part whimper, part gasp, as he moved between legs.
He entered her deeply, barely able to control himself as her hot, wet body gripped him like a clamp. He kept thrusting, building a pace that had her hands gripping the edge of the pool for balance. He felt every delicious ripple of her inner flesh, the contraction of her around him as she came, triggering his own mind-blowing release.
He didn’t want to move. He wanted to stand there on his still shaking legs and hold her against him.
She turned in his arms, looking up at him with a face glowing with the aftermath of pleasure. ‘Ever done it in the pool before?’
‘No.’
‘Lucky me to be your first pool—’
Julius put his fingertip over her mouth to stop her saying the crude word he suspected she was going to say. ‘Don’t.’
She pushed his hand away. ‘Don’t be so squeamish, Julius. It’s just sex.’
Just sex.
Was it? Was it just sex for him? Maybe for her it was but for him it didn’t feel anything like the sex he’d had in the past. His whole body felt different with her. He felt different. Not just in his flesh but in his mind. Sex had gone from being a purely physical experience to a more cerebral—dared he admit it?—emotional one. He liked having Holly around. She was funny and playful, exciting and daring in a way that made him shift out of his comfort zone. But he had helped her out of her comfort zone, too. She had even allowed the balcony doors to be open in his suite when they made love the past few nights.
Made love.
The words jolted him. Maybe it wasn’t ‘just sex’ after all. He made love to her. His body worshipped hers, pleasured hers and delighted in giving as well as receiving it. He had never wanted a woman more than her.
She made him feel aroused by just looking at him. The scent of her was enough to make him hard. He only had to walk into a room she had been in earlier and his blood would be pumping. Her touch made his flesh tingle all over. The dancing tiptoe movements of her fingers made his pulse thunder and his heart race. Everything about her turned him on. He couldn’t imagine another woman being as thrilling and satisfying as her.
But she was leaving in four days...
Which was fine. Just fine. She had her plans. He had his. He wasn’t after anything serious. They’d had their fun. And it had been fun, much more fun than he’d realised a fling could be. She had taught him to loosen up. He had helped her confront her fears. She had revealed her past to him, which he hoped meant she was ready to move on from it. He wanted her to succeed. She had so much going for her. Her energy, passion and drive were wonderful qualities if channelled in the right direction.
Holly linked her arms around his neck. ‘What’s that big, old sober frown for?’
Julius forced a smile. ‘Was I frowning?’
She put her fingertip between his brows. ‘You get this deep ridge right here when you’re thinking.’
He captured her finger and trailed his tongue the length of it. ‘I’m thinking it might be good to go inside before we both get burned to a crisp.’
‘Good point,’ she said and walked up the steps of the pool.
Julius stood spellbound as she emerged from the water like a nymph. She draped her wet hair over one shoulder as she squeezed the water out, reminding him of a mermaid. Her creamy skin was lightly tanned in spite of the sunscreen he’d seen her using. Her body was fit and toned yet utterly, irresistibly feminine.
She stepped into her bikini bottoms and tied the strings before she went in search of her top. Her smooth brow suddenly creased. ‘Is that a car?’ she asked, hurriedly covering herself.
Julius had been too focussed on her delectable body even to register anything but how gorgeous she looked. But now he could hear the scrabble of tyres over the gravel of the driveway.
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