Mortification. Mortification like I’d never imagined possible hit me like a freight train when I lay in bed the morning after my failed attempt at bartending. I guess I could add seducing Macon to my list of things I failed at too. I mean who couldn’t get Macon to sleep with her? I was an idiot to even try, but after a few shots I couldn’t help it. I was tired of pretending I didn’t have feelings for him. He’d seemed so into it, so ready to take things there, and then he’d stopped. His excuse was we’d had a lot to drink? Maybe I was a little buzzed, but I was sober enough to know what I was doing. Besides, I got this gnawing feeling that there was more. Something else was holding him back, and I was sure it had something to do with me.
As soon as the clock hit six o’clock I was up and out of bed. It was early enough that I could avoid seeing Macon, but late enough that I knew Colin would be awake. I didn’t bother with a shower, I’d just do that at Colin’s house. Thankfully, I’d kept his spare key. I’d also left some clothes there. Theoretically I could move back in with him, but what would that look like? Carly the screw up. I couldn’t even live with guys without making a fool of myself. I was going to slip out before Macon woke up to give myself one reprieve from facing him, but that was it. By that evening I needed to get over it and act like I didn’t even care.
I didn’t hear anything out in the main area, so I carefully opened my door. I took a few steps toward the kitchen. “Good morning, Carly.”
My heart sped up before returning to normal when I realized it was Brody. Wasn’t he supposed to be away?
“Hey. I thought you went back to your parents’ house.”
“I’m back early.” He walked over to the coffee maker. “Want a cup?”
“Oh, that’s okay. I’m going to head out.”
“Let’s go for a walk.” He didn’t say anything. He refilled his mug before filling another.
“I actually need to go by my brother’s house.”
“Just take a short walk with me.” He handed me the tall mug full of black coffee. A few months earlier I’d been all about the milk and sweetner, but I’d grown to prefer it black. It was so much simpler and potent that way. Maybe it was symbolic of my life. It had gone from sweet to bitter almost overnight.
“Why? Why do you want to go for a walk?” I asked suspiciously.
“Because I do.” He walked over to the door and slipped on his flip flops. “We can drink our coffee as we go.”
I weighed my options. Things were already insanely awkward with Macon, why make them weird with Brody? I assumed he’d talked to Macon. He wouldn’t have any other reason to try to get me talk to him. I grabbed my purse so I wouldn’t have to go back up.
“You want to drop that off in the trunk of your car?” Brody gestured to my small clutch as we took the stairs. My flip flops made their usual clatter on the way down.
“Oh, yeah. Probably.”
I stopped by my car and dropped off my bag. I went to pocket my keys, belatedly realizing I didn’t have a pocket in the skirt I was wearing.
“I can hold these for you.” Brody took them and slipped them into his pocket.
I stifled a groan. He was making sure I didn’t just storm off.
We walked down the empty beach in silence at first. I let out a few deep breaths and enjoyed the quiet I knew would disappear in just a few hours when everyone else woke up. I watched the waves move in and out. There was something so comforting about the rhythmic nature of it. Some waves crashed further up on the beach than others, but they still kept coming. Nothing stopped the cycle.
“I like you Carly.”
I felt a moment of panic. What? Was Brody about to admit he had feelings for me or something? I tried to compose myself.
“Wait. Not like that.”
“Okay, good.” That would have seriously complicated things.
He laughed. “That scary of a thought, huh?” he teased.
“Of course not.”
“You just want one normal roommate relationship, I get it.”
“I’m guessing you talked to Macon.”
“Yeah… I did.”
“Wonderful.”
“Carly?”
I looked up at him. “Yeah?”
“He likes you.” Brody’s expression was suddenly serious. “Let’s just get that part out of the way.”
“Kind of how you like me?” I gave him a long look.
“No. Not that way at all. I like you and want you around. You’re a good roommate. You’re really neat, and you have a pretty decent sense of humor. Macon really doesn’t care about that, he cares about you though.” Brody exhaled loudly. “I knew this was going to happen.”
“What was going to happen?”
“That he’d somehow screw things up.”
“It’s not his fault. I kind of started it.” I looked back out at the water. The tide was slowly coming in.
“I’m actually surprised it took you guys this long. The sexual tension between you two is pretty sickening.”
I laughed. “It’s that obvious?”
“Completely, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” He looked torn for a second like he wasn’t sure if he should say something. “Listen, I already told you I like you, I also like Macon. He’s been a good roommate and friend these past few years. I’m not exactly an expert on relationships, but you two might actually work. The fact that Macon did put on the brakes last night says a lot.”
“Yeah, it says he doesn’t want me.”
“Is that really what you think?” He gave me a skeptical look.
I shrugged.
“The guy didn’t take advantage of you when you were drunk, and you think that’s a bad thing?”
I sighed. “I wasn’t drunk.”
“But you’d had a lot to drink. Both of you. I know something about drinking too much and making stupid decisions. Macon did the right thing.”
What was Brody talking about? He almost never drank. Maybe there was a reason for it. “Was that really it? Was he really just worried about taking advantage of me?”
“Do I have to spell this out for you?” He sipped his coffee.
“Yes, I guess so.” I practically gulped down my coffee. It had cooled down to a comfortable temperature.
“He was scared.”
I nearly spit out my coffee. “Macon? Scared of having sex?”
“No. He was scared of how you’d feel in the morning, and maybe how he’d feel. I don’t think he’s used to caring about a girl. It’s been awhile since he’s been in an actual relationship.”
“I wasn’t asking for a relationship.” I took another sip of coffee.
“You’re going to stand here and tell me you were only interested in a quick hook-up? You have no feelings for him that go beyond wanting to sleep with him?”
“Of course not. I have other feelings.”
“Then stop lying to yourself. He did you both a favor last night. You want to date? Fine. Date. But don’t rush things. He’s scared, you’re scared. We’re all scared.”
“So what do I do? How do I fix things?”
“What needs to be fixed? The two of you fooled around last night.” He finished off his coffee. “I’m guessing it was an enjoyable experience.”
I could feel the blood rushing to my face. “Yes.”
“I can promise you it was for him too. Just tell him how you feel.”
“How? I’m just supposed to open up to him like that? What if you’re wrong and he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Let me get this straight. You were completely comfortable having sex with Macon, but you’re too afraid to tell him you like him?”
“That’s different.”
“Really? It didn’t take guts to take off your top in front of him? I’m not trying to be an ass here, but you don’t strike me as the kind of girl who gets naked in front of men all the time.”
“Of course not!”
“Exactly. So why was it so easy to do it with Macon?”
“Because I’d had a lot to drink…” The reality dawned on me, smacking me over the head. “Which is why he stopped.”
“Before you get into bed with someone, you need to be able to do it without alcohol. And you need to be able to be honest without it too. Both of you do.”
He stopped walking and turned to me. “You’re a beautiful and smart girl. Why does it seem like you have no confidence?”
“Because I don’t.” I walked off down the beach. For the second time in two days I felt tears welling. Maybe living with guys was more complicated than I thought.
I felt his hand on my shoulder and he spun me to look at him. “I’m sure there’s a story behind that, but you don’t have to tell me. I’m sure it’s the same story that brought you here in the first place. But the bottom line is, you need to have confidence in yourself before you jump into a relationship—or bed,” he looked at me long and hard, “with someone like Macon.”
“Like Macon?”
“He seems really tough, but he’s got his own issues. We all do.”
“You have issues?” I arched an eyebrow. Brody seemed so in control and put together.
“Of course I do. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. At least I’m willing to admit it. One piece of advice, stay away from people who say they don’t have issues. They are the ones with the most.”
“I’ve never thought about that before.”
“Glad I could share something of value. You about ready to head back?”
I looked into my nearly empty coffee cup. “Sure.”
“Good. Remember, there’s nothing to fix.”
I took the last few sips of coffee. “Thanks, Brody.”
“No problem. All I ask in return is that you deal with this head on. Dealing with sexually frustrated roomates is bad enough. I don’t need to deal with ones avoiding each other too.”
I laughed. “All right. I owe you that at least.”
We made our way back to the condo, and along the way I realized I had two choices. I could hide out all day at Colin’s house and hope things blew over, or I could face things head on. The first option sounded a whole lot easier, but I had promised Brody I’d try. Talking to Macon couldn’t make things more awkward, could it?
Brody made himself scarce as soon as we walked inside. I gave myself a few minutes. I wasted time washing out the coffee mugs and emptying the dishwasher, but eventually I knew it was time to face the music.
I knocked on his closed door, remembering where the whole mess started—with me knocking on that very same door.
“Come in,” Macon called without the hint of sleep. Was he just sitting in there waiting for me to leave or something?
I cautiously pushed open the door. He was still in bed, the blankets resting at his waist. I tried to stop looking at his bare chest and wondering if he was wearing those red plaid boxers underneath the sheets.
“Hey.” He said the word like the night before hadn’t happened.
“Hey…” I winced at the moment of awkward silence. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, but what exactly are you thanking me for this time? My stellar bartending skills?”
I ignored his joke. I was too nervous to even go there. “Respecting me enough to stop things last night.” Brody was right. The reason I’d been so brave with Macon had been the alcohol, and that in itself meant I was drunk.
A slow smile spread across his lips. “In that case, you’re very welcome. I’m glad you’re not mad.”
I took a seat on the end of his bed, the awkwardness slowly fading. “Yeah… I was mad.”
He leaned up on one elbow. “Is that so?”
“Well, embarrassed. I mean who can’t get you into bed?”
He coughed. “Excuse me? Are you implying I’m easy?”
I laughed. “Clearly not easy enough.”
“Carly?”
“Yeah?” I braced myself for whatever snide remark was coming.
“Come here.” He patted the space next to him.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Getting that close to Macon when he was nearly naked both scared and excited me. My feelings were so extreme when it came to him.
“Yes. Absolutely.”
I got up, and he held open the blankets. My heart sped up and my head spun with confusion. What was happening?
“Don’t overthink this, babe.”
I didn’t say anything, I just slid in next to him. As soon as my head hit the pillow he pulled me into his arms. “I have no clue what’s going on with us, but I like how I feel right now. Let’s just start here. No overthinking things, no worrying about what did or didn’t happen last night.” He ran his hand up and down my arm “Can you just do that for me?”
I snuggled into his warm arms. “What are you asking of me exactly?”
“I don’t know. This.”
For some odd and inexplicable reason, I knew exactly what he meant. “Okay.”
“Good. Now let’s get down to business.”
“Business?”
“Yeah, with Colin and Maddy. Where do we start?”
“I have some ideas.” I turned in his arms so I was looking at him. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t.
“I knew you’d say that.”
Macon
It was good to have the old Carly back. Holding her in my arms reminded me of why I had to be careful not to do anything so stupid again. I had no clue how I was going to control my feelings for her, so I turned to the only tactic I knew, avoidance. I’d focus on what I could handle, interfering in someone else’s life.
Carly thought that a united front was important. We needed to talk to Colin together, but we also had to be careful to make sure we didn’t make him suspicious. I knew we’d be fine. She was his sister and I was Maddy’s best friend. Who better to meddle in his proposal?
We drove over to Colin’s place that night when we knew Maddy was already at work. Carly kept playing with her hair the whole way over. I’d learned that was a nervous habit of hers.
As expected, Colin was working when we got there. Carly had used her key to get in, and she shouted upstairs to get his attention. We waited in the foyer for Colin to join us. He seemed open, yet wary to our suggestions.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t take her on a trip? I thought you guys were going to laugh at my first idea, honestly.”
“She’s going to love it.” I decided to lay it on thick. “Maddy’s a sucker for nostalgia. You need to play up your past to show her how it connects to your future.”
Carly grinned. I’d promised her I’d make sure our plan worked, and I wasn’t going to let her—or Maddy—down. Colin wasn’t a perfect guy, but he was head over heels in love with Maddy. He also made her happy again. He was the right one for her, and I wasn’t going to let her own insecurities, or his perfectionist tendencies mess anything up.
“So you really think I should do it this weekend? That isn’t rushing things?”
“How long have you been planning on proposing?” It was Carly’s turn.
“Since we were still in Paris.”
“Exactly.” Carly touched his arm. “Why wait?”
“Ok, what’s going on here?” He turned to Carly first, but I was next.
“What are you taking about?” Carly asked.
“Why do you care when I propose? I know you like Maddy—but this is excessive even for you. And Macon, you don’t even like me.”
“That’s not true… I like you for Maddy.” He really did make her happy.
“Fine. Something is still going on.” He crossed his arms. “I’m not doing anything until one of you tells me what that is.”
This was it. My moment, my chance to cinch the deal.
Carly beat me to the punch. “I want you to do it while I’m still here.”
“What do you mean? Where are you going?” His tone went from suspicious to concerned.
“I’m thinking about leaving next week.” She bit her lip nervously.
S
he was a horrible liar, and Colin knew it. “Leaving? Why?”
“I don’t want to feel like I’m messing things up between you and Maddy. I don’t want to be in the way.”
“You made this clear when you moved out. You’re not in the way, Carly.” Colin eyed her warily.
It was time for me to jump in. “Bottom line, Colin. Your sister thinks she’s cramping your style. Once you and Maddy are engaged she’ll realize she’s being ridiculous.”
“And why do you care?”
“Because I care about both of them.”
“Both of them?”
“Yeah. Maddy’s my best friend, and Carly’s a pretty cool roommate. I don’t want her moving away because of you.” Calling her a cool roommate was quite the understatement, but considering who I was talking to it seemed like the right choice of words.
He shook his head and sighed. “It’s not like I want to wait until next month. If you want me to do it this weekend, are you guys going to help?”
“Of course.” Carly popped up on her toes. “Anything you need.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“Do that.” She hugged him. “All right, I have to get to work. Call me later and let me know what I can do.”
“See ya, man.” I started to follow Carly out.
“Macon?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure… but I have to drop Carly off at work.”
“She can take my car.” He leaned out the front door. “Carly, catch.” He tossed his keys to her.
She caught them. “What ever happened to me not being allowed to drive your lease?”
“It’s a one-time exception.”
She grinned. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”
“Don’t total it.” Colin smiled before walking back inside.
“What is it you want to talk about?” I already knew it wasn’t about Maddy. If it was he would have said it in front of his sister.
“What are you doing with Carly?”
“Excuse me?” I tried to play dumb.
“I see the way she looks at you, the way you hold yourself around her. What’s going on?”
I went with honest. “I don’t know.”
“Figure it out, and make sure you don’t hurt her in the process.”
Forever Love: A Friends to Lovers Collections Page 10