He wanted to put his hand on her belly and feel a child moving inside of her. He wanted to plant his seed in her again and again until she had no choice but to make a baby with him. Romantic love might not last, but caring about a child was different, wasn’t it? Couldn’t he—
“Jack? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re awfully quiet. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
He looked at her and saw the questions in her eyes. She wasn’t giving him an out because she’d changed her mind but because she was afraid he had. His gaze lowered to the swell of her belly. Was she already pregnant? He found himself hoping so, despite the problems that would create.
But instead of saying all that, or even addressing her statement directly, he stood and peeled off the rest of his clothes, then slipped on the protection and joined her on the bed. She opened her arms to welcome him. As they kissed and he entered her, he once again had the sense of coming home.
She was wet and tight around him. Each thrust was perfect. His head filled with questions and confusion. He didn’t want a relationship so how could he want a baby? Katie was trouble, Katie was—
His body took over, shutting down his mind. He moved back and forth, unable to think about anything but the glory of their lovemaking. She wrapped her legs around his hips and drew him in deeper. She tilted her pelvis toward him and pressed her hands on his rear, urging him on.
He felt her tense. She broke the kiss to stare into his eyes. He watched her mouth part as small gasps escaped her lips. Then her head tilted back and she moaned his name. At the same time her tightness quivered around him. The muscles there contracted in the most erotic massage, pushing him to the edge and throwing him off the side.
He gave one last deep thrust and groaned his release. Every part of him gloried in the sense of spilling himself into her. He buried his head in the curve of her neck, breathing in the scent of skin.
She held him close. Slowly their heartbeats returned to normal. Eventually they found their way under the covers. When Katie had curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder, she sighed.
“I have a request,” she whispered in the dark. “I need you not to say this was a mistake. I can’t hear that right now. I feel raw and vulnerable and I think that would break me in two.”
He didn’t know what their intimacy had been, but he knew it wasn’t a mistake. It felt too right to be that.
“Whether you like it or not,” she continued, “we have a relationship. We’re involved with each other. I don’t know what it means, but there it is. For the most part I’m okay with it. My big concern is Shane, who is already bonding with you. That’s scary because you keep talking about how you don’t believe in love and how can I explain that to a nine-year-old boy? He won’t believe that it’s just about you and has nothing to do with him.”
Jack had been prepared to join in the discussion, but her words about Shane left him speechless. The boy had bonded with him? Jack had thought they were friends, but he didn’t think his opinion mattered one way or the other. He felt the weight of responsibility on his shoulders and found it wasn’t all that unpleasant.
As for him and Katie having a relationship, he wasn’t sure. Did they? Could they? He meant what he said—he didn’t want to get involved. It had only ever led to heartache…at least for him. He was tired of being left.
“I seem to have stunned you into silence,” Katie said.
He touched her cheek. “I don’t have any answers right now,” he admitted.
“You don’t have to. Just think about what I said. We can pick this up later.”
Then, to his amazement, she closed her eyes, sighed deeply and fell asleep. Jack held her long into the night. He listened to the sound of her breathing and wondered if he’d been given another one-way ticket to hell or a chance to make things right.
Katie hummed while she made breakfast the next morning. She hadn’t gotten more than a couple hours of sleep, what with Jack waking her up shortly before dawn so that they could make love again, but she didn’t mind. Being in his arms, making love with him, felt so incredibly right. He was all she’d ever wanted in a man. Her life might be falling apart, but Jack made her feel as if she could handle everything. She was wildly in love with him. Unfortunately she didn’t know what he was thinking.
He seemed so determined to keep himself at an emotional arm’s length. He was comfortable sharing his body, but what about his heart?
Footsteps sounded in the hall. Katie looked up, expecting either Jack or Hattie, but her visitor turned out to be Nora. Her good mood vanished like so much mist.
Jack’s sister walked into the kitchen and headed for the coffeepot. She poured some of the dark liquid into a mug and took a sip. Katie continued cooking bacon, waiting for the other woman to make the first move.
“I saw you leaving Jack’s place this morning,” Nora said without preamble. “I know you’re sleeping with my brother.”
Katie thought about defending herself. She thought about politely telling Nora it wasn’t her business. Then she realized she was tired of doing what everyone else wanted and not what was right for her.
“Sleeping is a slight exaggeration,” she said sweetly. “I mean if you figure in the time we spend together, percentage wise, very little of it is spent in actual sleep.”
Nora’s dark eyes narrowed. “You know what that makes you, then.”
Katie turned off the pan, removed it from the heat and faced Jack’s sister. “Yes. It makes me confused. It makes me wonder if I’m crazy, falling for a man who’s been burned before and is reluctant to commit again. I worry that I’m not doing the right thing for my son. And then there’s the whole family issue. He has some difficult relatives who want nothing to do with me. So why am I bothering?”
“Oh, I suppose I’m the difficult relative,” Nora said. “What did you expect? That I would be happy?”
Katie stared at the tall, pretty brunette in front of her. While Katie had grown up small and stayed petite, Nora had the lean body and long legs of a dancer. Her thick dark hair was always stylish, her makeup always perfect. By contrast Katie felt rumpled and short, which wasn’t fair.
“I have a news flash,” Katie said, tired of trying to make peace. “I’m not responsible for what my brother did to you. I’m sorry he broke your engagement, but it’s not my fault. Yes, he was a jerk. I suspect my father had something to do with what happened, but I can’t be sure. David never told me the details. But the bottom line is he’s married to someone else, he’s been married for years, and it’s time to get over it.”
Nora’s mouth thinned. “Easy for you to say,” she snarled. “You’ve always gotten everything little thing you want. Life is just perfect for you. Sweet Katie Fitzgerald. Just snap your fingers and the boys come running. Now you’ve decided you want my brother. Well, don’t for one second think I’m going to be happy about it. However, I’m not like you and your family. I won’t butt my nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
Katie blinked. She couldn’t possibly have heard correctly. “You think my life is perfect?” she said, so shocked she was barely able to speak. “My life? Would this be the part where I had to leave the ranch because my father was tormenting my son? Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been a single mother for nine years, trying to do right by Shane and being completely clueless most of the time? Or is it the fact that the last man in my life wanted me but not Shane and expected me to choose?” She planted her hands on her hips. “As for being sweet, let me tell you I hate being short and blond. People assume I’m a bubblehead. And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me, because I don’t like you, either. You’re tall and skinny and have great hair. So get out of my face.”
Nora lowered her coffee mug to the table. She looked as surprised as Katie felt. “You like my hair?”
Katie felt some of her temper ease. “I hate your hair and your long legs and your great body.”
; “But you have those big blue eyes and natural curls and you’re so tiny. I remember in high school I was taller than just about anyone, but all the boys lined up to dance with you because you were so little and cute. I wanted to squash you like a bug.”
The rest of Katie’s annoyance faded. She relaxed and leaned against the counter. “I’m really sorry about David,” she said sincerely. “I have no idea why he was a jerk. I swear, I’d tell you the truth if I knew it. I hate what he did to you. If it makes you feel any better now, his marriage to Fern isn’t all that happy.”
Nora sighed. “No, it doesn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t want him to marry her, but he did, so he might as well enjoy himself.” She shot Katie a defensive look. “I’m not completely selfish, you know.”
“I never thought you were.”
Nora plopped into one of the kitchen chairs. “It’s just from the outside looking in, you Fitzgeralds have always had everything.”
“But you’re the rich family now.”
“I guess. But it mattered more back when we were kids.” She ran a perfectly manicured fingernail along a fold in the red tablecloth. “I guess I really don’t mind about you and Jack. I want him to be happy. It’s just weird that it’s you, you know?”
Katie took a tentative step toward the table. “It’s weird for me, too.” She decided not to mention that she and Jack had been close years before. She wasn’t sure Nora was ready for that.
Jack’s sister looked at her. “Tell me about Josie. Is she going to be okay?”
Katie took the chair opposite Nora and sat down. Maybe they weren’t exactly going to be friends, but it looked as if she and Nora might not have to be enemies anymore. The realization warmed her insides and made her smile.
“Nora and I have made peace,” Katie said that afternoon as she helped Hattie with her final stretching exercises.
Jack’s mother sat on the exercise mat in the center of the living room and sighed. “That’s good to hear. She can be a stubborn woman. What with all the bad blood between the families and the way David dumped her for another woman so close to their wedding, she’s been carrying around a lot of bad feelings.”
Katie waited until Hattie rolled onto her stomach, then she began to massage the other woman’s tense muscles. “The Darbys and the Fitzgeralds do have a strange history. Over a hundred years of hurting each other.”
“Maybe you and Jack can change that,” Hattie said. “You seem to get along pretty well.”
Katie had a feeling the older woman was fishing. It was unlikely she knew that she and Jack were lovers. Besides, having a physical relationship didn’t imply an emotional one. Despite her brave words to Jack about them having a relationship, she wasn’t sure how he was going to react to her announcement. The reality was she could wish all she wanted, but she couldn’t do anything to make him care about her. That was entirely his decision.
So much for her promise not to get involved with anyone until Shane was older. She’d been home less than two months and she was already in love with Jack. Except she’d always been in love with him, so in theory, nothing had changed. She’d simply become aware of the truth.
“My life is complicated,” she told Hattie. “As is his. I doubt that either of us are willing to take on both families, not to mention the town gossips. The biggest complication I’m willing to deal with right now is picking out tile for my new kitchen.”
“You can’t let other people’s opinions rule your life.”
“True, but I’m not willing to take on a fight I’m not sure I can win.”
Hattie turned her head and looked at her. “Are you talking about the families or Jack?”
“Both,” Katie admitted. She wasn’t sure Jack was willing to give his heart to her again. Besides, what if it was still in his first wife’s possession? After all, she’d left him. He hadn’t been the one to end the relationship. Maybe he still felt about Melissa the way she, Katie, felt about him. The thought made her stomach clench.
“Jack would be good for Shane,” Hattie said, resting her head on her hands. “They get along, and he would be an excellent role model.”
Katie continued to massage Hattie’s back. “You’re hitting below the belt. You can’t use my son against me.”
“You’re forgetting that Jack is my son. I want the best for him the way you want the best for Shane. I suspect the best might be you, dear. What do you say to that?”
Katie understood she was getting Hattie’s blessing to pursue a relationship with Jack. But Hattie was the least of her problems.
“You’d have to be very strong,” the older woman admitted. “But it would be worth it in the end.”
“Maybe,” Katie said, not sure if she was willing to put up that much of a fight. Not when she was the only one in love.
Chapter Twelve
J ack drove toward the ranch. He’d been out checking pastures, determining how many cattle the north acreage could support. The long-range forecast was for plenty of rain, so there would be grass. However, spring thunderstorms could turn violent.
In the ranching world, it was always something, he thought. The elements could be both friend and enemy. The oil money was steady enough that he could afford to ride out several bad cattle seasons. So far that hadn’t been a problem. He had plenty of cattle on the hoof and several years’ worth of income in the bank. For the first time he could remember, the Darbys were doing a whole lot better than just scraping by.
His truck bounced along the rutted track. To his right was the fence line between Fitzgerald and Darby land. He took a left at the next rise so he wouldn’t drive past the line shack where he and Katie had made love.
But avoiding the building didn’t avoid the problem. Two nights ago he’d taken Katie into his bed. If he listened to the fire burning in his blood, he would do it again and again. Being with her didn’t satisfy the ache inside him for more than a few hours. Instead, every time they were together, he wanted her more. Worse, it wasn’t just about sex. He found himself wanting to talk to her and spend time with her. He enjoyed her company, much as he enjoyed her son’s.
Jack stopped the truck in the middle of the track and turned off the engine. All around him for as far as he could see stretched Darby land. It had been in his family for generations and would go on long after he was dead and forgotten. He was one rancher in a line of men who had wrestled a living from cattle and grass. He’d faced drought, disease, hail and fire and survived. But he wasn’t sure he could make it if he started to care about Katie Fitzgerald again.
He gripped the steering wheel and swore. According to her, they were involved. The gnawing in his gut said that she might be right. How had it happened? When had he let his guard down enough to let her inside—and what was he going to do about it?
He stared at the horizon, but there weren’t any answers in the vastness surrounding him. A bright sun crossed a big Texas sky as time moved on, but still he wasn’t sure what to do. To complicate the situation, he didn’t just have to worry about Katie. There was also Shane. Jack thought the world of the boy and he would cut off his right arm before hurting the child. Katie said he already had a strong case of hero worship.
Hero worship wasn’t love, he reminded himself. Besides, it would fade, as love faded. Shane would be fine. Except Jack found himself wanting more for the boy than just getting by.
Was he willing to be a permanent part of Shane’s life? Did he want that? Did Katie? And how could he see Shane and avoid her? Did he even want to? He’d loved her and lost her. Now she was back, and he was scared to death. How long until she walked out again? Or worse…how long until he left?
Hattie always said that Russell left because he was tired of living up to a legend. He wasn’t a Darby by birth. He’d taken on the family name when he’d married her. Eventually he’d grown weary of being something he was not and he’d left.
Jack refused to be like his father, but could he escape his heritage? In the dark hours before dawn he woul
d sometimes lie awake and wonder how much of his father was in him. Would he one day look around the ranch and resent all he’d given up to make it a success? Would he walk away without a second glance, without a regret, leaving everyone he cared about to always wonder why?
Had his father thought about going away for a long time or had the need come on suddenly?
Jack didn’t have any answers—not about the past or himself. Russell would never return to fill in the details. All Jack knew was that Katie and Shane were weaving themselves into the fabric of his life. And there might even be a baby.
A child—the beginning of a new generation. How would having a child with Katie change the two families? Would that baby draw them together or cause an even deeper rift?
The entire situation didn’t make any sense. He should be running as far and as fast as he could. Yet here he sat, wondering if he was going to be a father and finding that he liked the idea. Was he willing to take another chance? Was he willing to give his heart to a woman who had already left him once?
He reminded himself he didn’t have to decide anything now. He could wait and see what happened.
He started the truck engine, then drove to the barn. As he glanced at the clock, he realized that Shane would be home from school, and Katie would be at the house. Despite his warnings to himself to keep his distance, he pressed his foot harder on the accelerator and drove directly home.
The sound of laughter and high-pitched yips drew Katie outside. She walked around the house to find herself surrounded by three tumbling, tail-wagging German shepherd puppies. She bent and patted them on their heads and received wiggling whines of pleasure in return.
“Look, Mom! Puppies,” her son called when he saw her.
“More like a herd.”
She came to stop on the edge of the lawn and watched as the puppies raced from her to Shane. Her son lay on the grass, wrestling with them, his face wet from puppy kisses. The dogs were still relatively small, with soft coats that were more fuzz than fur. Their huge feet and large ears gave her an idea of their potential size—definitely not lapdogs.
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