by Bev Robitai
‘Yeah? How do you manage that?’
‘There’s a disguise I use of a street beggar, dressed in old raggedy clothes, wearing a grey wig, false beard, and this is the best bit - a moustache with a dangling bit of ah, nasal mucus on it.’
‘Eeeoogh!’
‘Once they see that, they don’t look at me a second longer. I just disappear. It’s very useful.’
‘Is it real snot?’
‘No, of course not! I just squeeze a dribble of contact glue onto the moustache and let it harden - want to see it?'
‘Sure. And you said this isn’t fun!’
He pulled out his make-up case and removed the top tray. Beneath it nestled his wigs, along with several beards and moustaches.
She picked up the moustache with the lumpy yellow decoration and held it to her upper lip. Mike averted his eyes.
‘I can see why they turn away. When you see it on someone else it’s disgusting!’ He grabbed it back and put it away out of sight.
Robyn pulled out a dark-haired wig.
‘Put this on, I want to see it.’
He smoothed back his own light brown hair and put on the dark wig. Immediately his face seemed to take on stronger definition. He slipped blue-tinted contact lenses into his eyes, blinked for a moment, then fixed Robyn with a piercing gaze. Her mouth dropped open.
‘Ooh, you look just like James Bond!’
He smiled smugly. ‘This is for when I want to be noticed, particularly by a woman. They open up and tell me a lot more secrets about their husbands’ affairs when I look like this.’
Robyn pretended to fan herself. ‘I can see why! That’s very impressive. Now put on the other one, I want to see the difference.’
Mike removed the lenses and pulled on the grey wig. Robyn’s eyes narrowed. Something looked very familiar here. She held another moustache to his face and exclaimed suddenly.
‘It was YOU!’ Surprise left her speechless for several seconds until her wits caught up with her mouth. ‘You were the guy that saved me from being run over, weren’t you?’
He smiled quietly.
‘Yes, that’s right. I was afraid you were going to get flattened before I had a chance to find out what you were up to. Oh, and thanks for the hamburger by the way, nobody’s ever given me food before. The best I usually get is a handful of small change but you were really thoughtful.’
‘Of course I was, you’d just saved my life! Wow! I can’t believe it took me this long to recognise you! That’s amazing. How did you learn to do all this stuff, anyway?’
‘Oh, just picked it up here and there. Like I told you, I learned the basics in amateur theatre in my home town.’
‘That is so cool! I can’t believe I spoke to you and then never recognised you again until now.’
‘The acting is important too, remember what I told you? Your attitude has to match the character you’re playing. When we first met on the street, would you have thought about me again if we’d just discussed how to get to the Science Centre and never seen each other a second time?’
She thought about it and shook her head.
‘Probably not, you weren’t… noteworthy.’
‘Well put, that’s exactly what I was aiming for. It’s lucky from my job’s point of view that I’m not particularly memorable to look at. If I do want to make an impression, I use the dark wig and a more forceful character. Colwyn does the same sort of thing. He uses his blond, golden boy image to win people over before he’s even uttered a word. It would be very difficult to be a successful con-man if he was ugly.’
‘So it’s all based on the power of people’s perceptions, really,’ she mused. ‘But where Colwyn uses his powers for evil, you use yours for good.’ She grinned at him. ‘Captain Anti-Fraud, Superhero - fighting crime in the city streets!’
‘Leaping cash registers in a single bound.’
‘Have you got x-ray vision to see into bank records?’
‘I was kind of working along those lines when you threatened to unplug my computer,’ he told her gently.
‘Oops, sorry. But hey, isn’t this more fun? Any minute now, we’ll cook up a terrific idea to defeat Colwyn’s wicked plans and then have a great time carrying it out.’
He sat back and folded his arms.
‘Go ahead, amaze me.’
‘Oh come on, you have to help too! Perfect schemes don’t just happen by themselves you know, and besides, you’re more experienced at this sort of thing than I am.’
‘I’m sorry, I don’t do flash and dazzle. I just plod along doing the work and getting the job done the only way I know. Now and again I get out and play dress-up to follow people, but most of the time I’m at a keyboard tracking their paperwork. It’s not very glamorous.’
‘Just a minute, you’ve made me curious now. When you say you dress up and follow people, is it just the suspects you follow, or everyone connected with them?’
‘Anyone who might have a bearing on the case,’ he replied cautiously.
‘Aha! So you followed me?’
‘Maybe. I had to know whether you were a victim or an accomplice.’
‘How many times did you follow me?’ She had a vague suspicion that was beginning to come into focus.
He hesitated, and she guessed he was wondering how much to admit.
‘About four times, I think.’
Robyn counted on her fingers. ‘The time you saved my life, then the day you asked for directions…OK, when were the other times?’
‘Never mind that, it’s not relevant. I found out you were a victim - though I don’t know that victim is the appropriate term for someone as hell-bent on revenge as you are.’
Robyn refused to be distracted. ‘What were the other times, Mike? What did I miss?’
‘Oh, just a couple of times at the marina, that’s all. I was watching Colwyn and you happened to be around.’
She advanced towards him.
‘One of those times you didn’t happen to trip me up, did you?’
‘Me? Why would I do that?’
‘It WAS you, wasn’t it! On the dock when I was running to catch Colwyn before he took his boat out. You were lying on the dock like a heap of old rags and you stuck your leg out, didn’t you, so that I went arse over tit into the bloody lake!’
He held up his hands defensively. ‘I had to stop you from interfering until I knew what you were up to - it was nothing personal.’
‘Personal! How much more personal can it get than being up to your twat in ice-cold lake water? I’ll give you bloody personal, mate!’
She grabbed a nearby vase and upended it over his head, dousing him with water and soggy dahlias.
He leapt from the chair and sprinted after her as she fled towards the bathroom. She tried to slam the door, but his foot shot into the gap and blocked it. He pushed the door open despite her spirited resistance, and captured her beside the bath, where he sat on the edge and heaved her over his knee to administer some punishment.
‘Ow, ow, you’ve hurt my arm!’ She squirmed with pain and tried to rub the injured part. Aghast that he could have hurt her, he let go at once and helped her to stand up.
An evil grin lit her face as she pushed him backwards into the bath and turned the cold tap on full.
‘Gotcha! Pete used to fall for that one too.’
She was safely out of reach long before he could struggle to his feet.
CHAPTER 7
The following night Robyn fretted on her journey home from work. Heavy traffic on the main arterial routes meant that her bus was late, leaving her very little time to change and put on make-up ready for the meeting with Colwyn and his prospective investors. She wasn’t sure what her role was from Colwyn’s point of view, but she’d do her best to block his plans and see that the money vanished from his greedy grasp faster than a sprinter on steroids.
Mike helped her to get ready, fluffing up her hair and applying some make-up once she’d shrugged into a clinging little knit dress. Once she
was looking as fetching as possible in the time available, he dropped her off near Colwyn’s apartment and gravely wished her luck.
She smoothed down her hair and tried to slow her breathing as she skidded to a halt in the foyer. She concentrated on getting into character, mentally practising British words and phrases.
The elevator pinged.
Colwyn stepped out, looking casual but immaculate in a dark blue shirt, pressed jeans and black suede jacket. His cologne reached her seconds before he did, and it crossed her mind that the cloying scent did nothing to affirm his masculinity.
‘Robyn, you look terrific! What a stunning dress. Alan will be bowled over, as long as Kate doesn’t catch him staring too hard!’ He surveyed her breasts with a knowing smile. ‘And I can see you’re as excited about this evening as I am.’
Robyn was relieved that her flushed face and quickened pulse had been interpreted in his favour. The pale blue jersey dress had the intended effect - she had noticed Colwyn’s eyes widen as he looked at her shape so lovingly displayed by the clinging fabric.
‘Glad to pass inspection, sir. Now shall we go and meet the troops?’
Outside, the early evening sunlight was gilding the city buildings, reflecting gleaming golden squares in every glass-covered wall.
While they strolled the two blocks to the Rose and Crown, Colwyn turned on his most charming and witty conversation to dazzle her, and Robyn put on a fair pretence of being impressed by it.
It occurred to her that should they be accosted by thugs in the street, Colwyn could defeat them simply by lifting his arm and letting his cologne knock them out. A kind of ‘Shiseido karate’ she thought to herself with a giggle.
They walked past the Hard Rock Café and The World’s Biggest Bookshop, then crossed Yonge Street to enter the carefully antiqued portals of The Rose & Crown. Robyn, although no expert on English pubs, sensed instantly that she was in the realm of the theme-park.
Textured wooden beams stretched overhead, artificially blackened with spray paint. Cosy alcoves were fitted with tapestry seats, separated by pillars from which dangled a variety of imitation horse brasses and polished copper pans. Despite the warmth of the evening, gas-powered flames flickered from fake logs in a stone-like fireplace.
‘So, does this make you feel at home, Robyn?’
She gazed around her, stalling for time to find an appropriate response.
‘Goodness me, it’s quite overwhelming. They really have made an effort, haven’t they?’
He took her words at face value and beamed.
‘Ah, there are Kate and Alan, come and be introduced.’
She allowed herself to be led towards one of the alcoves, where a grey-haired couple smiled and waved at them. Robyn recognised them as the couple Colwyn had taken out on the Angel Lady, seemingly a lifetime ago.
‘Kate, Alan, wonderful to see you again. Kate, you look superb tonight. May I introduce Robyn Heverill, a young lady from England whom I met recently? Robyn, I’d like you to meet Kate and Alan McNamara.’
Robyn greeted Kate and shook hands with Alan, instantly warming to his twinkling eyes and friendly smile.
‘Awfully nice to meet you both. Do you live here in Toronto? I’m finding it a lovely city.’
‘No, we’re not city folk. We’ve just retired after running a camera store for thirty years, down in Belleville.’
‘Really? I’m a photographer myself.’ She caught herself slipping out of character and quickly changed tack. ‘Just as a hobby, of course, but it’s jolly good fun. I’ve taken some cracker shots at the local gymkhana, made the front page of the Newbury Examiner once or twice.’
‘That’s great - what kind of gear do you use for that?’ asked Alan.
‘Mostly my Nikon SLR, with a 17-135 zoom lens.’
Kate looked surprised.
‘Isn’t that kinda heavy for a slip of a girl like you? Those things weigh a ton.’
Robyn smiled. ‘I guess I’ve just got used to it. When you carry it round all the time, you soon build up the muscles!’
A waitress came over to take their drink orders.
Robyn’s mind went into a spin. What did upper-class English people drink? She struggled to recall the pub scenes from English TV shows. Milk stout? Port and lemon? No, they weren’t posh enough at all. Beer probably wasn’t right either, though she’d have given her eye teeth for a Steinlager right then. A name caught her eye on the beverage menu.
‘I’ll have a Pimms, please.’ She smiled up at the waitress.
‘How would you like that, ma’am?’
‘Oh. Er, let me see. On the rocks?’
Colwyn ordered a Fosters beer, claiming he was supporting the home industry. Robyn raised an eyebrow, and turned back to her conversation with Kate and Alan.
‘So, Alan, have digital cameras made much difference to your business?’ she asked.
‘Oh yes. That’s really why we decided to retire eh, while we could still sell the shop as a good operation without having to get into all this new stuff. I’m getting too old to learn to use computers, and that seems to be the way the industry is going. It’s all on disk these days, run by young sparks like Colwyn here, eh? The guy who pushes the right buttons rules the world.’
‘You don’t know how right you are,’ thought Robyn to herself.
Colwyn smiled deprecatingly.
‘It’s easy enough to pick up. With quite basic computer skills you can access a world of information where real money can be made. If you’re prepared to put the work into researching various companies and their activities, you can take advantage of trends that others haven’t even spotted yet.’
Kate reached across the table and patted his hand.
‘You make it sound so simple, Colwyn. Is your scheme really that easy?’
He smiled.
‘Well obviously it takes a certain degree of skill in interpreting the information that you find. But it’s really quite safe when you know what you’re doing. Alan, Kate - I introduced you to Robyn here because she is about to come into a good deal of money, which she is graciously allowing me to invest for her. We plan to double her inheritance in a few months and impress her father with her financial acumen. I can do the same with your money and you could all make a great deal of profit.’
Robyn choked on her Pimms.
‘Excuse me!’ she murmured, mopping at the drink spots on her pale dress. ‘Sorry, don’t let me interrupt, I’ll just go and fix this.’
She eased out of the booth and took refuge in the ladies’ room where she leaned on the counter and caught her breath.
Bloody hell! He was using her own fraudulent story to help him cheat Kate and Alan out of what was probably their retirement fund! With no warning, he’d suddenly put her on the side of the bad guys. Somehow she had to put things right and find a way to distance herself from Colwyn, but without blowing her cover with him. How could she tell Kate and Alan that Colwyn was a cheat and a liar without tipping him off that something was wrong?
While her brain was doing wheelspins, Kate came into the room.
‘Are you OK, honey? Swallowed some the wrong way, did you?’
‘Just a little. I’m fine, thank you.’
Robyn patted a paper towel to her lips while Kate ran a comb through her fluffy grey curls and applied fresh lipstick. She drew a deep breath.
‘Kate, there’s something I should tell you about Colwyn…’
Colwyn moved around the booth to sit closer to Alan. He kept his voice low as if imparting a secret.
‘This could be a very big opportunity, Alan. Robyn has a large trust fund to invest, and I’ve just heard of some exciting new developments in the property market in New York. If you and Kate are willing, I’d like to share a slice of the pie with you - and it’s a substantial pie I can assure you. Now I understand that you need to talk this over with Kate and get her permission to invest, so I’ll let you two discuss it later and get back to you.’
He clapped Alan on the s
houlder and moved back to his own seat.
‘Hey, it’s not like she’s the one in charge of our money,’ protested Alan. ‘I can make decisions for the both of us.’
‘Of course you can, no question. But it can lead to friction if one partner isn’t happy with the other’s decision. Best to avoid that if we can, yes?’
‘Yeah, I guess you’re right there. You sure you’re not married? Sounds like you know all about it!’
‘I know life is easier if you can keep the little woman happy.’ Colwyn winked and tapped his nose.
‘Oh that’s for sure! It doesn’t take much to turn that cute little pussycat into a hell of a tiger if you do something wrong, eh?’
They stifled their chuckles quickly as Kate and Robyn returned to the table.
‘Hi honey, everything OK?’ said Alan, looking the picture of innocence. Kate put her hands on her hips and looked down at the two men.
‘What have you guys been up to?’
Colwyn spread his hands in a display of injured virtue. ‘Not a thing! All we did was to talk about two lovely ladies - and now here you are.’
Kate and Robyn exchanged glances. ‘Do we let them get away with that, Robyn?’
Robyn shrugged. ‘Well there’s no actual evidence of wrongdoing, so I guess we do. This time.’
She sat down next to Colwyn and slipped her arm through his. ‘Let’s have another drink and celebrate how enormously wealthy you’re going to make us all.’
In the morning she woke with a dry mouth and the threat of a nasty headache. She groped her way to the kitchen for a glass of water and staggered back to bed for another hour.
Next time she woke she felt almost normal, and the headache had dulled down to a light throb. She could hear Mike moving about in the kitchen, and the promising scent of breakfast was enough to lure her out of bed. She slipped on a sweatshirt over the outsize T-shirt she slept in and padded out to the kitchen.
Mike was at the stove, dressed in faded jeans and a light denim shirt. His hair was tidy, but bare feet and an unshaven jaw made him seem more relaxed than usual.