"Easier said than done," she mumbled.
"I'll take you home after this first lesson. With us all focusing, we can help you touch the Shadow Realm for the first time."
"Then you'll leave me alone?"
He paused and in a low voice said, "I won't let the daemons kill you."
"How do you even know I'm one of these…"
"Celemae?" A wry smile lifted the corners of his mouth.
"We were all unbelievers at one time," Shira said from the edge of the circle. "You will see for yourself."
Lilly looked around at the faces of the circle—men and women of all ages and races. Most of them sat with their legs crossed and arms relaxed and eyes closed. Several watched her or glanced about at the others.
"No more questions," Mychel said. "All the answers will come when you touch the Shadow Realm. Close your eyes and free your mind"
Lilly watched him, not sure she wanted to close her eyes with him so close with his sword.
"Trust me."
"Like when you brought me here instead of my apartment?"
"I brought you here to save you. The daemons come after us too, but we know how to defend ourselves. That's why they prefer fledglings. They would seek you before you have any chance to fight them."
What if she really was celemae?
Impossible. She didn't believe in such things.
But the pictures inside the temple haunted her. She felt a familiarity among them.
Stop it! This was all a lie, a twisted mess of the drinks she'd had at the club. She had given up time with Darrac.
But she'd given him her comm unit code, or she thought she had. A lot of it came back as a blur of music and dancing. Her ears still rang thinking about it.
Mychel was different. There was something about him that cracked her doubts. She felt at home near him, especially among all of them. She felt like she belonged to something greater.
In a life of mediocrity, that held a special allure.
A sigh drained her objections and sank her shoulders. "All right. Let's get this done." The sooner she did this meditation thing, the sooner she could go home and stop the world spinning around her.
"Clear your mind, Lilly." Mychel's voice broke through the memories of Darrac's hands holding her next to him. It shattered the pleasure with the stark reality of the unforgiving floor beneath her and the chill of the warehouse air in dreary contrast to the warmth of his body.
"I don't want to clear my mind. I want to go home. I want to go back to what I had." She wanted Rian.
Her eyes blurred with tears. Everything crashed around her. What was she doing in that part of town? What would they do to her?
"Mychel," a soft voice said.
"I know…Lilly. I'm sorry. You need to do this. It's for your protection. At least try. Once you touch the Shadow Realm and feel the luriel's power inside you, you'll understand."
"I don't want to understand." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. Idiot, the inner voice admonished. She was drunk, and it only emphasized the loneliness inside her. Drinking hadn't done a damn thing to make her feel better. If anything, she felt worse, like a-bus-had-dropped-on-her worse and she was going to regret it come morning, if she saw morning.
At the warmth of a hand on hers, she lifted her eyes to a pleading look on Mychel's face. As if a candle had been lit but flickered far away, she felt a glimmer of something within her. "Please," he said. "If you at least try…"
"You'll take me home?"
He nodded and sat back. "Yes."
She huffed away her indignation and tried to sit relaxed like the others. "Fine. But I'm not staying long."
"All right."
At least he didn't argue.
Amid the spinning sensation that crept up when she closed her eyes, she pushed aside thoughts of Rian and Darrac. "My mind is clear. Now what?"
"Look inward. Within you is a light. That's the only way to describe it. Look to the light and let it fill you," he said. "Look for the luriel. It is a part of you."
A light within her…
A light.
She scoured the emptiness and the ghosts of the past that floated up to haunt her. No light shone for her, only the grief of being torn from the love she had known. She pushed aside the beautiful memories that stabbed in their taunting.
Moon bases. Rotations. Orbits. Satellite Scans...
Thoughts of the sterile monotony of her job cleaned away the emotions, but it gave her no more insight into any light within her. Rather, it jumbled and tangled into a blur and faded away.
"We must find it." A being with silvery white hair and the fairest features she had ever seen glowed from an inner light. He or she frowned at another seated in the circle about the meeting floor. "It is the only way to defeat the darkness. That's all I know." Based on the depth of the voice, it was a man.
"It is not here." The woman who spoke wasn't like the others. She seemed ordinary and oddly familiar.
"How can it not be in all of Fal Oroneth?"
"Because it is beyond, in the Gray Realm."
Several men and women looked to one another, the inner glow faltering.
"How can you be certain?" A man with a thin line of gold above his brow looked across at the second speaker.
"Chancellor Rouan," the woman said in a firm tone, "we have scanned this realm and it is nowhere to be found. But a bridge to the Gray Realm has affected our instruments."
"Precisely. The energy of the Gray Realm has always been different."
"No, Chancellor. This is the dispersed energy."
"How do we collect it and fix this?" another asked. The white-haired individuals had a peaceful aura about them.
Others muttered similar questions and a lively discussion ensued.
"We cannot stay long in the Gray Realm like this, without our other halves, certainly not long enough to reclaim what is ours," the chancellor said.
Several mutters of agreement followed.
"There may be a way," the woman said. "But it will be risky."
Chapter 10
The thump broke Mychel from his connection, setting fighting instincts on alert for an attack. His eyes snapped open, hand going to the hilt over his shoulder.
It stopped when he took in the circle around him and the collapsed figure on the ground.
She'd passed out.
There went his earliest chance to teach her to protect herself.
Mychel crawled to her and nudged her shoulder. "Lilly."
Nothing.
He tried again, but she remained unresponsive.
The soft scrape of movement came from behind, followed by the crunch of steps, which stopped next to him.
"Let her rest," Shira said quietly. "You know as well as I how this can shatter a person's world."
He did indeed. This wasn't his first time introducing a fledgling to their destiny. Breaking up relationships, turning beliefs upside down, and fighting off daemons had become a way of life for him. He'd almost forgotten his past, before his own Awakening. Serving the Pallora Fen had given him a purpose over a meaningless corporate life, but seeing the fledgling celemae struggle to accept their new lives and the sacrifices it entailed was harder than his own transition. Forsaking earthly bonds was the hardest part of the process.
The scuff of movement came from around him with the rising of the others.
"Mychel." The gentle voice from above accompanied a touch on his shoulder.
She tilted her head towards the others. After a glance to be sure Lilly was all right, he stood and followed Shira while the others drifted from their gathering place.
In a place aside from the others and Lilly, she said, "I know you're upset about losing Arin. It wasn't your fault. Not everyone wants to accept this fate. His parents made his choice and the daemons found him."
She had to bring up his failure to protect his last charge. Although he appreciated her attempt to justify the loss, it was still his fault for not being there.
"I won't
leave her."
"I'm not asking you to. Just don't push. You pushed Arin. He was very young and not ready."
"That's what the daemons want!" Shira knew better. Why was she even bringing this up? "We can't lose any more."
Lilly wouldn't be taken.
Shira's grasp pulled his attention back to her and the harsh gaze that pinned him. "You won't…if you back off. From my understanding, you scared the woman. It's amazing she followed you here."
"I killed the first daemon sent for her. It was waiting and nearly had her."
"Fine. Great. You want a medal?"
She knew better than to patronize him.
"I'm only saying that she needs to take this in on her own terms. Listen. Mychel…You were there at the right time. That's great. Trust your instincts," Shira said in a gentler tone. "Take her home. When she's sober, try again. She at least seems willing."
He sighed and turned to the young woman. "You're right."
"Protect her, Mychel. She's still vulnerable." Shira looked from Lilly to him with a hint of worry creasing her brows before she strode away.
Lilly pushed herself from the ground and groaned. Seeing her sway on hands and knees, Mychel rushed to help her. "Easy."
Lilly's face paled in the dim light from the lantern nearby. "I'm gonna be sick."
"Of course—"
She vomited, barely missing his coat still wrapped around her legs. The puddle reeked and splattered over her hands. Trembling arms threatened to give out and send her diving into the smelly mess.
Mychel jumped to catch her from falling. "Easy, Lilly. Let's get you home."
She looked up at him with a frown. "Do I know you?"
The stench of her breath made him cringe away. "I think the drinks finally hit, a little too hard." With all his strength, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to her feet, grabbing the coat in its slide from her lap and keeping it out of the vomit puddle. At least she didn't seem to remember that she was afraid of him.
He threw the coat over his shoulder while shifting her weight.
"Yeah…" She looked down and wobbled. "Whoa."
When she again heaved chunks of food and drinks, Mychel grabbed her from falling and directed her away.
Afterwards, she wiped her arm across her mouth and looked up at him while swaying. "I wanna go home."
"Right. Let's go." With him keeping her balanced next to him, she managed to put one foot in front of the other in a slow meander around the old machines and stacks of shipping containers.
"What is 'is place?" She lifted her head and looked around.
Mychel adjusted his hold and she groaned and laid her head on his shoulder. "Nothing to worry about," he said while tapping on his comm unit for a cab.
He supported her to the door and into the street, where a cab was just landing. After maneuvering her inside, he entered on the opposite side and she laid her head on his thigh.
"Where to?" the driver's voice asked from behind the clear security screen at the front.
He gave the driver the address and sat back while the cab rose into the air.
"Why are you helping me?" Her voice was hoarse and weak from his lap.
In sympathy and reassurance, he squeezed her arm briefly. "Because you need a friend." He wanted to be that friend and hoped she could forget the man at the club.
Lilly said nothing more but let out a heavy sigh and relaxed. Mychel slipped his coat over her and tried to ignore the faint reek of vomit and the likelihood that he would be cleaning his coat. For a while, she needed it more than he did.
They rode in quiet for some time before the cab landed on her apartment roof. Mychel paid the driver and escorted Lilly to the entrance, where she put her hand to the scanner. At the recognition of her identity, the door slid open.
They rode the elevator to her floor. Still wobbly, she leaned on him through the hall and into her small apartment to her bed.
He lowered her to the comforter, where she laid back, a woman vulnerable in her state of intoxication and lack of training.
"Rest," he said.
She sniffed and wrinkled her nose, and fumbled to sit up. "I have…to clean myself…Help me…reach the bathroom." She clung to his coat to pull herself up.
He helped her to into her bathroom and flicked on the light. She gasped and put a hand up to cover her eyes. Being drunk was never fun and she'd hit it hard.
"Is this your first time?"
Lilly blinked at him, her brow furrowed for only a second before her face scrunched into anguish. He had his answer—this wasn't the real Lilly Lowreth but the result of something deeper.
"You don't know what he did. It hurts…" Tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." The man at the club hadn't seemed to be doing anything wrong at the time that Mychel interrupted. Someone had hurt her, however. Her remark provoked suspicions that the man at the club hadn't been a boyfriend after all. "I can help you."
"How?" She sniffed and looked up at him with pleading eyes, swaying in her movements.
"I can give you a new purpose."
"New purpose?" She looked around and, before he could answer, she started pulling her dress up to remove it.
"Um…" Mychel looked aside, warmth rising within him.
"Help me..." She wiggled inside the dress to try to pull it over her head but failed. "…Get this off. It stinks…I think I threw up on it."
That she would undress before him and ask for his help stirred up old memories. But she was drunk and probably didn't know what she was doing; she didn't seem to remember anything that night. Someone had to take care of her.
He helped her out of the dress, agreeing that it did stink, and helped her in her satin slip to wash her arms. Once she cleaned up, he held her steady on her feet to return to the bed, where he pulled the covers away for her to lay down and tucked her in.
"Get some rest, Lilly."
She grabbed his sleeve. "Don't leave. I don't want to be alone."
The pleading in her eyes reached into his heart. It latched on and wouldn't let go. He hadn't wanted to leave. She had made the one request he would gladly fulfill.
"I'll be nearby if anything happens."
She forced a smile. "Where?"
"Close." He pried her fingers from his sleeve and stepped back. "Get some rest. I'll help you with meditating in the morning."
"Okay. But make the room stop spinning."
"Close your eyes."
She did what he suggested. "I feel dizzy."
"Go to sleep." He flicked off the light and stepped back into the short hallway, his eyes on her. While he gazed at the young woman, the light inside him seemed to grow from touching the being inside her. She was celemae and stronger than he had first suspected, but as a human, she was beautiful. She made it very difficult to focus on his task of preparing her for Enlightenment. If they had normal lives, he might give in to the feelings she inspired, but they were destined for something bigger, something he had accepted years ago. If only they hadn't been chosen and he had met her…
Mychel sighed and made his way to the sofa, where he stretched out amid thoughts of that night and the last few nights since he first encountered the young woman in the alley where he attacked the daemon in the shadows behind her.
That's what he should focus on—keeping the daemons away. She would be a big target until Enlightenment. Before she made a full connection to the Shadow Realm, she would be most vulnerable to daemons.
He couldn't lose her like Arin. Mostly, he couldn't lose her.
* * *
Continue reading:
Part 2: Gray Dawn – June 3, 2015
Check www.melanienilles.com
for more Shadow Realm Saga details!
Thanks for reading!
* * *
Other Books by Melanie Nilles/M. A. Nilles:
DARK ANGEL CHRONICLES, THE COMPLETE SERIES (ebook):
Starfire Angels (Book 1)
Broken Wings (Book 2)
Crystal Tomb (Book 3)
Origins of Dark Angel (Book 4)
Forever Dark (Book 5)
Also available as individual ebooks and paperbacks
WHEN ANGELS CRY
(A Starfire Angels Novella)
SORIEL
(Starfire Angels: Revelations Book 1)
DECEPTION
(Starfire Angels: Revelation 1.5)
PHANTOMS
(Starfire Angels: Revelations Book 2)
SHARDS
(Starfire Angels: Revelations 2.1)
AT THE WATER'S EDGE
(Adronis #1)
BENEATH THE CRASHING WAVES
(Adronis #2)
A TURN OF CURSES
LEGEND OF THE WHITE DRAGON: PROPHECY
LEGEND OF THE WHITE DRAGON: LEGENDS
LEGEND OF THE WHITE DRAGON: LEGACIES
LEGEND OF THE WHITE DRAGON: FIREBLOOD
LEGEND OF THE WHITE DRAGON: DESTINY
TIGER BORN
(Demon Age Series)
SPIRIT BLADE
(Demon Age Series)
About the Author
Melanie Nilles grew up on a western North Dakota cattle ranch and farm and graduated with a degree in business administration from NDSU. She currently resides in central North Dakota with her family, cats, and horse. Her published works include the Starfire Angels series. As M. A. Nilles, she publishes darker adult fiction, including the fantasy Tiger Born, the first of her Demon Age series. For updates, visit her website a www.melanienilles.com.
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