“It doesn’t change how I feel.”
My heart swelled. “How do you feel?”
Instead of answering my question, he kissed me. It happened suddenly. No lingering. No hesitation. No time for my body to properly prepare itself. Just Ben's swift movement—his hands gripping the sides of my face and his lips crashing into my own.
Oh, sweet mother of all things holy.
I sat back on the couch and let him kiss me. Not only did he catch me off guard with his kiss, but the kiss itself was surprising. It lacked control, when, in general, Ben was a very controlled person. There was desperation, almost as if he’d been holding back doing this for quite some time now.
His tongue parted my lips and he deepened the kiss. All my insecurities, mostly about not being good enough for him, faded into the background. The only thing I focused on was the sweet tingles happening all over my body.
Once, when I was a little girl, my mom took me to an aquarium. There was this one room—a room pitch black and filled with bioluminescent jellyfish. All my life I had always remembered that room, and the magical feeling I felt watching the jellyfish pulse and strobe with rainbows of iridescent colors, as if they were putting on an electric light show just for me.
That was what kissing Ben felt like. Magic. Amazement. Wonder. A pulsing rainbow of electricity jolting through me.
All too soon, the moment ended and he pulled back, his eyes on my eyes. My lips felt swollen, already missing his lips. And my body ached for much more than just kissing. “That should have happened last night,” he told me. “And the night before. And maybe even the first time I met you.”
“Agreed,” I uttered, my voice all hoarse and shaky.
Sighing, he added, “I have to work today.”
“No,” I practically groaned. “Don’t go. You can’t kiss me like that and then go.”
He chuckled, pressing a small, teasing second kiss to my lips. “I have to. I’m taking the realtor exam today.”
“You’re going to be a realtor?” I wasn’t sure why that surprised me. His parents were realtors, I knew that much. I just didn’t expect that for him.
“Yeah. It’s whatever.” He moved to sit on the couch beside me. “Until I figure out what the hell I actually want to do with my life, I figure that’s good enough for now. It’ll be much better money than what I’m doing currently.”
“Well, good luck with your exam,” I told him, meaning it. Although, since he was almost the valedictorian of his graduating class, I had a feeling he didn’t need any luck.
“Thanks. I’ll come back here afterwards. We could go somewhere for a late lunch. Or we could work on blurring the edges of our friendship a little bit more.”
Damn. That felt like a threat and a promise.
I liked it.
I liked where this was heading already.
CHAPTER 11:
BEN
The realtor exam wasn’t nearly as hard as my mom had lead me to believe. It wasn’t hard because I was prepared. I’d been studying for it for the last few weeks now, I’d completed all the hours of my pre-license course, and, in general, I was good at standardized testing. I was sure I’d pass before I even walked in the door.
I didn’t, however, expect the damn thing to take over three hours to complete.
By the time I finished, it was well past lunch time. Lilly didn’t have a cell phone, so I had no way of contacting her to let her know I was running late. Plus, Mom had asked me to stop back at the office so we could ‘chat’ after my exam. ‘Chat’ probably meant she was going to chew my ass out about spending the night next door last night.
Since I'd seen Jack at the bar last night, I wasn't expected to call him when I got home. But that didn't mean Mom would let one night slide.
I parked the Jeep in front of the Sandy Shores Realty Company and jogged inside. The faster I got this over with, the sooner I could hurry back to Lilly. I desperately wanted to pick up where we'd left off this morning.
The office was quiet. Only a few people.
“Um, Brianna,” I said to one of the office secretaries, “where's my mom?”
Brianna, a middle-aged woman with a bad perm and too much hairspray, stared up at me. “Oh good. You're here. We can eat your cake now.”
“Cake?”
“Yeah. Your mom got it for you—to celebrate you passing your realtor exam and all.”
“How did she know I passed?” I asked, confused. And where was my mom?
“I think she assumed. You did pass, right?” Brianna said, her voice dry and flat. I think the whole nepotism in the workplace thing bugged her. She'd never been my biggest fan.
“I passed.” And the cake was super thoughtful of my mom. I guess I shouldn't have assumed the worst when she said ‘chat.’
“Oh, and there's a woman waiting for you over there.” Brianna pointed, then looked back at her computer as if she was done with me.
What woman? I glanced up.
“There he is,” the woman on the opposite side of the office shouted. She had a plate with a slice of cake on it, my cake.
What. The. Hell.
I knew this person.
My heart plummeted to the floor.
“You ghost-crab catching, speedo-wearing, son-of-a-bitch!” she shouted. “You get over here, Ben Turner! Come give me a hug!”
It was Lilly fucking Davenport. Not my Lilly Davenport, the Lilly Davenport I'd been falling for over the last few weeks, but the real Lilly Davenport. I recognized her instantly. She was the adult version of the girl I'd known as a child—burly, large, tall, red-headed, and loud. She set her cake down, rushed across the room like a linebacker, and squeezed me around the middle.
My feet left the ground. This girl was that strong. And my back cracked under the pressure of her enormous hug. “Hi, Lilly,” I choked out.
On the outside I remained calm. On the inside, I screamed at myself.
How could I have been so fucking stupid?
Real Lilly continued to shake me. I let her because I was too stunned to think properly. The other Lilly Davenport had played me, she'd been lying to me this whole time. The realization of it felt like a punch to the gut.
On the night we meet, I'd seen her red hair and just blindly assumed she was my former friend. I mean, I found her inside the Davenport house, so what else was I supposed to think? But she wasn't Lilly. Because this beast of a woman squeezing the crap out of me was clearly the real Lilly.
So who the hell did that make the woman I'd been kissing this morning?
“Speedo-wearing?” Brianna asked, snickering.
Real Lilly set me down, all smiles, so happy to see me. “This kid right here,” she told Brianna, “was obsessed with Michael Phelps. That last summer we vacationed in Kill Devil Hills, he wore that same speedo daily. You should have seen him swim, though. Like a fish.”
“I was ten,” I clarified. “And I was all-state in the 200-meter freestyle my junior year, five seconds off from Phelps' world record. And it was my mini obsession with Michael Phelps that saved my life when I fell overboard.”
“Oh, yeah. I heard about that.” A serious look crossed Real Lilly's face. It only lasted a split second. “And your ‘fake death.’ Damn, that's crazy. So—” She changed the subject. “I’m here because I need to clean out the personal closet at the house.”
Lots of beach rental properties had ‘personal closets’ because most owners would come and stay a few weeks out of the year. And many owners preferred to leave a locked closet with some of their stuff stashed away.
“So, let’s do that,” Real Lilly said, slapping her hands together. “Will you come with? Show me around the house. I haven’t been there in years. It would be way too freaky to go there by myself. I mean, there’s probably only old beach chairs in the closet. But the fam-bam can’t very well sell it without going through that old junk. You know?”
My frame of mind shifted.
My Lilly was at the house, living in the house, oc
cupying the house. I was pretty sure in most states that was called breaking and entering. Which was illegal. And possibly a felony.
What would happen if she got caught?
What kind of jail time would that lead to?
Instead of feeling hurt that I’d been lied to all this time, I switched over to protective mode. “I need to make a phone call before we go,” I told Real Lilly. “Give me a minute.”
I rushed through the open office for my mom’s cubicle. My hands shook as I picked up the phone. My heart raced. My mind spun. I started to dial the only number I had memorized.
My Lilly didn’t have a cell phone, so I obviously couldn’t call and warn her. Thank God my family still had a landline. I dialed the number.
It rang, and rang, and rang.
Pick up. Pick up. Pick up, dammit!
Of course, no one would answer. No one ever answered the landline.
Then, at the last second, someone answered. Thank the fucking Lord!
“Hello,” said a male voice. It was Noah’s voice.
Of all people to answer, it just had to be Noah.
“Shit,” I said as my greeting. “Is Georgina there? Or Ellie?”
“Nah, they both went to the store like an hour ago. Who is this? Ben?”
“Yes, it’s me.” My hand was gripping the phone so tightly my fingers were starting to cramp. “I need a favor. You can’t ask questions, you’ve just got to do it for me.”
“Fine,” he said, surprising the crap out me by agreeing so easily. “What is it?”
“The real Lilly is here in the office. She wants to see her house. Like, now.”
“Who does that make the woman next door?”
“Exactly,” I muttered. “I want you to go next door, warn her, and get her the hell out of there. And you’ve got to straighten up the place so it doesn’t look like anyone has been living there. Can you do that for me? Without freaking her out?”
“I’m on it,” he said. And the connection went dead.
I stood there for a second with the phone beeping in my hand, staring into space. Well, that was surprisingly easy. I guess now I just needed to stall Real Lilly.
Still...I couldn’t believe my Lilly had betrayed me. She'd assumed a whole different persona...and for what? A free place to live? I didn’t even know this girl's actual name. Or anything about her. Or how much of what she'd shared with me had been truth and how much had been complete bullshit.
All I really knew was that she could have, at any point in time, told me the truth.
Last night, when she asked me stay, I'd stayed. It had meant everything to me. There was no question about it, I was falling for her. I'd let myself foolishly start to picture a future with her, a future that included more than just the two of us. It included her child, too. And me staying in this town. All for her.
What a fool I was.
“Let's go,” I called out to Real Lilly. “Let's go see your house.”
To hell with it. If other Lilly wasn't out of there in time, it would be her own damn fault.
CHAPTER 12:
JUNIPER
Knock. Knock.
A sudden, sharp rap on the front door startled me. I'd been reading one of the random books from the bookshelf in the living room. My book had just started to get good, when another—
Knock. Knock.
“I'm coming,” I called out, assuming it was Ben.
I set my book aside and hurried downstairs to let him in. Pulling open the door, I found...not Ben. Instead of Ben at the door, it was Ben's sister Georgina's boyfriend. I knew who he was because he'd been with her at the bar last night. He had long blond hair, pulled back in a ponytail, and super serious dark eyes.
I realized I didn't know his name.
“Hey, I'm Noah,” he said, as if he'd read my mind. “I don't think we've officially met.”
“I'm Lilly,” I started to say, when he shook his head ‘no,’ cutting me off.
“You aren't Lilly,” he said, firmly.
I'm not? Shit.
He handed me a trash bag, and brushed passed me, rushing into the house. He held a second trash bag in his own hand.
“Um?” I turned and hurried after him. He headed for the kitchen. “I'm...” I didn't even know what to say. If he knew I wasn't Lilly, then did that mean Ben knew too? Heat burned my cheeks. Pressure squeezed my chest. Anxiety rushed through my body.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
“We are cleaning. And fast,” he told me. He swung open the fridge and started tossing stuff into his trash bag. I stood there, stunned, watching him dispose of all my food.
After a moment, he paused and turned around. “Get moving because Ben is on his way over here with the real fucking Lilly Davenport.”
A mini-scream left my lips. So Ben knew. “He knows?” I asked stupidly.
I swallowed hard, barely able to breathe.
“He knows.”
Oh, God. I left Noah and rushed for my room. I grabbed everything I could find that was my own and dumped it into my trash bag. Then I made the bed at record speed. I did the same in the bathroom. Then I rushed for the room I'd slept in last night with Ben. I made that bed too. When I finished, I hurried back in the kitchen.
The counter, the dishes, the sink—all of it looked sparkling clean, as if I'd never been here at all.
“Is that everything?” Noah asked.
I nodded.
It was over. My lie was over. My thing with Ben… probably also over. And it crushed me.
I followed Noah out of the house, across the path that lead to the Turner's house, and inside with him. He said nothing. I said nothing. I only followed him up the stairs that led to the Turner's open kitchen and living room area. He set his filled trash bag down on the counter, while I still clutched mine tightly in my hands.
Several minutes passed where neither of us moved and the silence continued.
It was weird being in Ben's house. After all this time, it was my first time stepping inside. The layout of this house was the mirror image of the house next door. Yet, they were complete opposites. The decor in the Davenport house was modern and beachy. The decor in Ben's house was cozy, eclectic, and inviting.
No one else was home.
Tears burned behind my eyes, but somehow I managed to keep them at bay.
“So, who are you?” Noah suddenly asked.
Before I could answer Noah, I heard the downstairs door open and someone come inside. It couldn’t be Ben already…could it? I held my breath and listened to the sound of footsteps quickly moving up the stairs.
Sure enough. It was Ben.
He came into view, moving into the room. His dark hair slightly disheveled, while his face remained stoic. He stopped several feet away from me, shoving his hands in his pockets.
I couldn’t read him.
If he was angry, he hid it. If he was hurt, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t know the right words to say, but I knew I had to say something. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you.”
“But you didn’t,” he retorted, his voice low and surprisingly calm. Too calm. “You lied this whole time. You let me think you were my friend. You took advantage of my trust. And for what? A free place to stay? A few free meals? How’d you even get into the Davenport’s house in the first place?”
“I picked the lock,” I admitted.
His eyes narrowed. “Of course you did. You’re just a regular criminal. Breaking and entering is nothing for you. Are you even pregnant? Or is that just another lie?”
“Says the man who faked his own death and spent nine months in jail,” Noah said, chiming in to my defense. “And she’s clearly pregnant. She’s showing.”
“Stay out of this, Noah,” Ben warned, his eyes still on me.
“Just stating the obvious.”
My hand instinctively rested on my stomach. I was getting bigger, but I hadn’t realized other people could tell yet.
Despite his calmness, Ben was angry with me. T
hat much was evident. But I desperately needed him to know that my intention was never to hurt him. I truly was his friend. I truly cared for him. He meant everything to me.
“The only lie I told you was that my name was Lilly,” I said, hoping he could see past that. “Everything else we shared was real. You've been kind to me and you’ve helped me more than you know. If you want me to leave right now, I will. But you need to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
He sighed. His eyes were so intense it was killing me. “How do I know you're not saying the right things just to manipulate me more?”
Ouch. “You don't. You'll just have to trust me.”
“Trust? How can you even ask me to trust you? I can’t now. So…maybe you should just leave.”
Like a wrecking ball to the chest, the air left my lungs. He was done with me? Just like that? And where the hell was I supposed to go? I guess our kiss this morning hadn't meant as much to him as it had to me. The realization of that hurt more than I could have ever expected.
“Do you even want to know my real name?” I asked, in one final attempt to break through to him.
His jaw tightened. “No.”
I huffed out in frustration. “You know what? I'm not sorry I lied about being Lilly. I did what I had to do. For me and for my baby. And if I had to, I’d do the exact same thing all over again.” I grabbed my other trash bag of stuff off the counter, the one Noah had collected, and now that I had all of my belongings, I left. In a blur of emotion and anger, I raced down the stairs and out the front door of the Turner’s house.
Outside it was bright and blinding. Almost warm enough for shorts. The sun beat down on me as I took off speed walking in the direction of the bus station. I had my five hundred dollars from last night; I could easily get on a bus and start over somewhere else. But some part of me didn’t want to go. Not because of Ben, but because I liked it here.
Well, maybe a little bit because of Ben. But I told myself that wasn't the reason.
This town felt like home in a way nowhere else had before. And Ben wasn’t the only person I knew. Rhett and I had become friends. Last night the guys in his band had asked me to become an official member of their group. And I’d accepted.
Adrift (Kill Devil Hills Book 4) Page 10