But Ben was just as gentle, if not more so, there. His kiss was soft. And it broke my heart. He kissed the bump as if it were his own child underneath. Then he moved on further down my body.
This small act left me in extreme and utter shock. My breaths grew shallow and short…for a whole new reason.
Then it happened. His open mouth pressed against the swollen and needy parts of me. Finally. His tongue licked slowly across my clit. He gave me exactly what I wanted, exactly what I'd practically begged for, but suddenly I was a little numb to feeling. His kiss to my belly had fucking thrown me. It made me realize then that I loved Ben.
I loved him.
More than I ever thought I loved Quinton.
More than I ever loved anyone or anything in my life, aside from maybe the growing love for the child inside me—and it terrified me. I hadn't expected to fall for him, so hard and so completely, so unexpectedly, especially since it hadn't been that long since he first came barging into the Davenport's house and into my life. But the love I felt...well, it also gave me hope. Hope that, because of Ben, everything would turn out okay in the end. It just had to. My heart wouldn't survive any other option.
The sensation of Ben's mouth against me came back into focus. At full force, too. I quickly pushed up on my elbows for a better view. I had to see him. The way he sucked, licked, and kissed felt so damn amazing. My own mouth fell open because, watching him work between my open legs, his blue eyes staring up at me, was the hottest thing I'd ever seen in my whole damn life.
He moved to press two fingers deep and wonderfully inside me, his tongue still playing against my clit, and I suddenly went off like an explosion. The cork on that metaphorical champagne bottle popped. I cried out his name and maybe a few swear words, my fingers fisting and tugging at his hair, as the feeling of pure bliss rocked through me. It was the strongest, most powerful orgasm I'd ever experienced. The wonderful tingling sensation rippled through every inch of my body. A spark of wildfire running me over.
Best. Feeling. Ever.
I came down slowly. The muscles inside me contracted in pulses around Ben's two fingers as he still, slowly, lazily, pumped in and out. His mouth wasn't on me any longer. Instead he watched me with a smile on his lips that told me he was enjoying the show.
I didn't care. I felt sexy and completely gooey inside.
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
“Again,” he asked.
Despite the temptation to tell him one more time, I shook my head. “I need a moment to recover.”
He nodded, pressing one last kiss against me. Then he pulled away from me, moving my legs to the side, so that he could plop onto the air mattress next to me. His arms engulfed me and drew me in firmly against his body. He brushed my crazy-tangled, half-damp hair out of his way, and pressed his lips against my forehead. “I damn near exploded in my pants. Watching you come, feeling you come... fucking amazing,” he told me.
“It was amazing.” I could feel the hard bulge of his erection through his jeans, pressing into my hip. I'd return the favor in a moment. For a second, though, I needed him to keep holding me.
“That was my first time doing that, at least the oral part of that,” he revealed.
What? His admission shocked me. “I don't understand.” Maybe he was only twenty-one, less time in his life to gain experience, but Ben was too gorgeous to be innocent. He was also too charismatic, too outgoing, too athletic, too built, too... everything. A question popped into my head, and I couldn’t help it when it slipped out of my mouth. “Are you a virgin?” I whispered, totally ashamed now of the way I'd practically thrown myself at him.
“No.” He chuckled. But then added, “Would it matter if I was?”
“No. It just threw me for a second. That's all.”
He sighed. “I wish I was sometimes.”
Wait. What sort of guy wishes they were still a virgin?
Tightness squeezed my heart. Maybe there were plenty of women in this world who wished they could take back their virginities. I mean, I'd lost mine to some guy named Tony in the back of his van my junior year of high school. Talk about lame. But it was what it was. I grew from it. I learned from it. But I doubted many men out there would ever say something like he just had. I thought that, for most guys, losing it was a ‘rite of passage.’ Like an accomplishment. Did he have his own issues with sex, not completely unlike mine? I wanted to ask him more questions. I needed to know what he meant. But I wasn't sure what was safe to ask.
Instead, before I could say anything, he sat up and climbed out of bed. “I probably should get going and—”
Oh, hell no. I jumped out of bed, grabbing the sheet at the end of my air mattress with me. I clutched it backward against my body. He couldn't leave now. He just couldn't. If he wasn't comfortable talking about his past then I wouldn't force him. But he didn't get to make me come and then leave me naked the next minute.
“Your eye looks like shit,” I said bluntly, heat spreading over my skin. “Its black and blue. You might have a concussion. You need to lie down on my bed, or out on the couch if you'd prefer, and rest like Web MD told you to. I'll get dressed and get you some ice. You're not allowed to drive, either, remember? At least not for a couple hours.”
“I'm not allowed?” he questioned. A smile cracked on his lips for a brief second before he replaced it with sternness.
I swallowed, glaring up at him, holding my ground. “No. So... sit your fucking ass down, mister.”
His eyes widened. He took a step closer and stared down at me with the full force of his height. “And what if I don't listen? What are you going to do?” Hooking a finger over the edge of my sheet, he pushed the material down. It fell to the floor, leaving me stark naked once more. “I don't have a concussion, Juniper,” he whispered, his tone changing for a moment, almost like a brief timeout. “Trust me, I know. I had a concussion in football once. And I'm okay now. Although ice would probably be good for the swelling.”
“Want me to go get you some ice?”
“No.” He exhaled. “I want you to lie back down on the air mattress.” He nodded toward it. “I want you to spread your legs, and I want to taste you again. I want to feel you come. I need to feel it one more time.” He grabbed the edge of his shirt and yanked it over his head in one quick motion. Buzzing from those direct and sinfully hot words of his, I took in the sight of his bare chest. Muscular, lean, perfection. Most surprising, he had a large, detailed compass tattoo on his left pectoral muscle. Over the top of his heart, I realized. The compass pointed west.
Damn. I'd expected Ben to look good underneath his clothes, but I hadn't expected him to be this gorgeous. I bit down hard on my lip, just to keep myself from gasping at the sight of him. My legs went wobbly. I did as he’d asked, taking a step backward, and sat down. I stared up at him, desperately waiting for him to come join me.
“I was a cocky, arrogant bastard when I was younger,” he said, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. “That’s the reason you’re the first and only girl I’ve tasted. It wasn’t because there weren’t plenty of opportunities. It was because I refused to go down on my high school girlfriend. Or any of the random hookups that followed my breakup with her.” He let his jeans fall to the floor as he kept talking. He kicked off his shoes along with his pants. He now stood only in his boxer briefs. “If a girl wasn’t ‘sucking or fucking’ then I wasn’t about to waste my time with her.”
I gulped. He was nothing like the person he described. “What changed?”
“Everything. The Ben Turner the rest of the world knew died the night I fell overboard and nearly drowned. But honestly, he was gone long before that. I stopped being what everyone else expected me to be, and I started being me. I haven’t had sex in over two years. I wish I could take back everything prior to that. Or mostly, everything with Sonya Fletcher back.” He seemed riddled with regret. “It’s different with you, though. I like that you don’t know the old me. I want to keep you away from the old me.”
With those last words, he pushed down his boxer briefs. His erection sprang free proudly.
My jaw dropped.
I was not worthy.
A mere mortal.
CHAPTER 16:
BEN
Juniper was quick to orgasm again under my touch and tongue. The second time I made her come was just as much of a wonderful rush for me as it had been the first time. Her fair skin erupted with goosebumps, she cried out my name, and she fisted my hair. The tight walls inside her contracted sharply around my two fingers as she bucked hard against my hand and my mouth. She started panting my name, her thighs squeezing me. I didn't stop. I kept pumping my fingers and swirling my tongue over her clit, because that seemed to be the magic recipe.
It took every ounce of my control to not come as she came. God, how easy it would be to let go. All I could think about was how amazing it would feel to be buried inside her in this moment. The feeling of her tight walls contracting like that around my cock. My balls ached at the very thought. As she finished, I pulled away from her and collapsed onto the bed beside her.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My heart exploded. This girl fucking owned me. I was completely at her mercy in every way. I both hated and loved the control she had over me.
I'd tried to leave a couple minutes ago too. Really, I had. I'd admitted that I wished I could have my virginity back. Something I wouldn't have dared admit to anyone else in this world. Although, it wasn't so much my innocence I wanted back. More so the consequences of having sex with Sonya, my recklessness, and the decision I made when she had her abortion. Because the abortion hadn't been Sonya's choice. She'd let me choose, and caring too much what everyone else would think, I'd told her to get the abortion. I'd killed our child. I hated myself for that and I always would. So, yes, I'd gladly take my virginity back if I could take that decision back with it.
And it was fucked up now that I looked at Juniper and her pregnancy as my second chance. I still couldn't help but wonder if it was really her I liked or the fact that she was pregnant.
See, fucked up.
So, I'd tried to leave because Juniper did not need that level of confusion in her life. It wasn't fair to her. But she'd been so damn sexy when she'd stood up to me and demanded I get back in her bed. For a split second, I'd forgotten everything else and gave into her. I'd undressed at record speed. She was too tempting to deny.
Still temping me now, she moved from where she lay beside me, her soft body brushing against mine. Her hand gently trailed over my stomach and moved downward. Her fingers caressed my cock, shooting shivers all through my body.
“It's my turn to taste you now,” she said. Blush adorably spread over her cheeks at her own naughty words. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip and she stared down at my cock, sizing it up. Yes, sweetheart, put it in your mouth.
I ached. I yearned. I itched for her mouth. I was in no position to resist her, despite the voice in the back of my head that screamed stop her! I was simply powerless. Until I heard the fucking glorious sound of the front door opening and slamming, followed by Rhett's loud-ass voice as he yelled, “Yo, June, I'm home. I brought you some takeout from the restaurant. Putting it in the oven.”
Rhett's annoying voice was enough to break the spell I was under. I caught her shoulders before her mouth could touch me. “Stop,” I whispered. “You have to stop.” A growl tore from my lips as I said it because stopping her was physically painful. Thank God for the interruption, though, because I hadn't wanted this. I couldn't cross another line with her, not being this uncertain about everything.
I could see the annoyance on her face.
“Another time,” I reassured her.
We both left the bed and silently dressed. I kept my eyes off her. I didn’t need the temptation of seeing her naked all over again. My erection wasn't going anywhere, but I managed to get my pants on. She put on her usual sweatshirt and jeans. Was she not wearing the new stuff Rhett had gotten Sydney to get for her?
“You okay?” she asked me.
“Yes,” I said sharply, but I wasn’t okay. Miles from okay. “By the way, I called my lawyer earlier and he told me you’re safe to go see the doctor. Everything’s confidential.”
“Really? That’s great news.” She smiled.
I remained stoic. “Don’t check your email. Don’t check your Facebook. Basically, don’t access anything where you have to login. Have you done any of that already?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Good girl.”
“Ben—why does it feel like you’re trying to tell me goodbye again? Is it because Rhett’s home now? I will go out there and tell him to leave. Seriously, I will. I don’t care if this is his house.”
I cracked a brief smile. I’d have loved to have seen her do that. Then the smile fell away from my lips. “That’s not it. I need to get going. I need to think.”
“Oh.” Her face paled. “About us?”
I couldn’t lie to her. I just couldn’t. So, I answered honestly. “Yeah.”
Her body visibly stiffened. Her arms crossed protectively over her chest. “I see.”
An icy shiver ran over me. I did not want to hurt her. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, unsure of what I should say or do. “Will you call me once you make a doctor’s appointment? Let me know when and where? I want to drive you. I want to go with you.”
“Sure,” she responded but it was hardly convincing.
“Promise me, Juniper.”
“I said sure already,” she snapped, not meeting my eyes.
Oh, fuck. I’d really pissed her off. I hadn’t meant to. My heart squeezed and cracked. Apparently seeing her in any sort of pain did awful, terrible things to my insides. It felt like millions of tiny knives were jabbing at me. “Juniper,” I whispered, begging. I couldn’t have her mad at me. “It’s not like that. It’s just—”
“Just go,” she said, cutting me off. “Just go ahead and go if you need to.”
Ouch. I didn't want to dig myself into a deeper hole than the one I was already standing in, so I simply said, “Okay,” and slipped on my shoes. I left her room and softly closed the door behind me.
Blindly, I walked down the hall, through the living room, and out toward the kitchen. Was it better, at the risk of hurting us both, to just take myself out of the equation? It felt as if piranhas were snacking on my stomach, so I'd have to say the answer to that question was no. Still, I didn't know what the right move was.
“Oh, hey, Ben. I didn't know you were here.”
It was Rhett. I was so caught up in my own head, I hadn't noticed him standing—shirtless—in the kitchen. At the sink, he appeared to be attempting to get a giant red stain out of his Chancy Claw t-shirt.
“Damn, cocktail sauce again,” he said as he scrubbed. “Sometimes I think women purposely spill stuff on me, trying to get me to take off my shirt.” He chuckled, just as full of himself as always.
“You brought Juniper food,” I commented. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, your girl is craving meat like a caveman.” He abandoned his shirt in the sink and cracked open the oven, showing me the proof. “We should enter her into a buffalo wing eating contest. That's two dozen there. That's like a snack for her.”
I couldn't help but smile. And part of me kind of liked how Rhett kept referring to her as my girl. “I didn't know she was craving stuff.”
“More like she's adverse to stuff. Meat is one of the few things she's tolerating. You'd know more about this if you were around more.”
I glared at him.
“Just saying. You could forgive her for the Lilly Davenport thing and move on. That girl is under your skin and you know it. Stop being a pussy and just go with it.” His eyes drifted up to my forehead. “And what the fuck happened to your head? You get in fight? Quinton didn't show up, did he?”
Before I had a chance to respond, Juniper answered. “No, I did that.”
I froze. I hadn’t heard her come i
nto the kitchen, but I now knew she stood behind me. Her presence made my heart start to beat a little too fast.
“No, shit,” Rhett said to her.
“Ben startled me,” she explained. “I swung before looking. He says he's fine.”
“I'm fine,” I confirmed.
“You look fine,” Rhett mumbled sarcastically. He opened the freezer, grabbed a frozen bag of veggies and tossed it in my direction.
I caught the bag. “Thanks,” I said, and pressed the bag to the spot above my eye.
It still felt tender.
So did my chest. Especially as Juniper moved around me as if I weren’t there, getting her lunch out of the oven. She sat down to eat at one of the bar stools, paying no attention to my presence.
Rhett went back to cleaning, or attempting to clean, his shirt. “Its days like this I really miss Noah living with me,” he mumbled as he scrubbed. It was a reference to Noah's OCD. Everyone knew the guy was a neat freak.
That girl is under your skin and you know it.
I thought over Rhett’s words. He’d spoke them carelessly, but he had a point. Juniper was under my skin. So much so that my feet were fucking frozen to the floor. Now would probably be a good time to leave, I’d already told her I needed to go, but I couldn’t seem to leave Rhett’s house. And then, much to my own surprise, I moved and sat down at the barstool beside Juniper.
We both said nothing. Complete silence. She ate her lunch. I held the frozen veggies to my head. While Rhett started going on and on about cocktail sauce and how disgusting it was. Eventually Ellie showed up. Then later Noah and Georgina. Then Sydney. Everyone was over because they all had plans to hangout tonight. And suddenly both Juniper and I were part of those plans.
The rest of the evening was loud—full of laughter, alcohol, and card games. Juniper fit in flawlessly, conversing with the others as if they were old friends. I did my best to appear at least semi-social. Group situations weren't really my thing these days. But since Juniper was there, I was there. We weren’t really speaking, at least not to one another. But we’d stayed in close proximity to one other all evening. I took that as a good sign. I took that to mean that I hadn’t ruined everything with her.
Adrift (Kill Devil Hills Book 4) Page 13