“I’m going to fuck you now,” he said, his tone hard and commanding. He sat down on the couch beside me and reached down to grab a condom from his wallet, sliding it on before patting his thighs. “Come ride me, wild thing.”
Right, so I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed I was a bit wild today. Strangely, I wasn’t even embarrassed about it. Archer made me feel too confident about myself, too free to be worried about showing him or letting him hear exactly how much I enjoyed being with him.
Without having to be told twice, I managed to remember how to move and straddled his lap, wasting no time in impaling myself on his rigid length. In no time, I was moaning again.
I was so sensitive, so captivated by the tiny frown on his face and the noises falling from his mouth that I went flying over the edge again before he found his own release.
He wasn’t very far behind me, though. “Thank fuck. I need to come so damn badly. Teasing you like that nearly killed me.”
Archer came on a loud groan not long after his gasped statement, his head buried in the crook of my neck. My heart thundered in my chest, my skin damp and my extremities still tingling.
For the first time since going to see my mother yesterday, my mind was blank. In my blissed-out state, I rested my head on top of Archer’s soft hair and tried to catch my breath.
Cradled in his arms, I felt safe and protected. Like the ugly realities of the world outside couldn’t reach us here. He shifted slightly so he could look into my eyes. There was so much tenderness in his expression that it was difficult to believe I’d once thought him incapable of human emotion.
“Feeling better?” he asked in a quiet voice. Reaching up with one hand, he drew indecipherable patterns on the bare skin of my back while he waited for my answer.
I drank him in as I ran my hands through his hair, letting myself have just this one moment with him. There was no future for us, but he’d come when I needed him, and now he was looking at me like I actually meant something to him.
I knew I didn’t, but in the afterglow of my orgasms and staring into his eyes, I let myself believe that I did. Just for this one minute, there was someone in this world who actually cared about me.
“Much better,” I said, lowering my head to drag my nose up the length of his. “Thank you. I really needed that.”
From my vantage point, I couldn’t really see his lips, but I saw his eyes crinkle at the sides and light up in the way they did when he smiled. “You don’t have to thank me for that. Trust me, the pleasure was all mine. And okay, maybe a little bit yours, too.”
“A little bit?” A satisfied grin tugged at my lips, the curve of it feeling unfamiliar even if it had only been a day since I’d last done it. “A lot of the pleasure was all mine, but let’s not get hung up on semantics.”
“Agreed,” he murmured against my neck, then pressed a soft kiss to my skin. “As much as I hate to say this, I think we need to move now.”
Right. The condom. Cleaning up. His life. Reality had sneaked up on me, but that didn’t mean he was wrong. “Sure, yeah.”
I brushed one last kiss over his temple and heard a quiet, contented sigh falling from his lips before I lifted myself off him. Now that we weren’t in the act, I didn’t feel comfortable enough with him to lounge around naked.
Grabbing my shirt and my shorts, I got dressed as fast as I could without bothering to put my underwear back on. Archer rose from the couch with a grace that I definitely didn’t possess, once again not in the least bit ashamed of his own nakedness.
Amusement sparked in his eyes when he came back into the room to find me dressed while he was still completely naked, minus an essential piece of latex. “Really? I take it we’re not going to cuddle then.”
“We’ve already cuddled,” I pointed out, but I couldn’t help the smile forming on my lips. “Besides, didn’t I ruin family time with your daughter? I kind of assumed you’d want to get back to her.”
“I spent all morning with her and I’ll see her again later. You’re not ruining anything. Don’t worry. I can stay a while longer if you’d like?”
My teeth sank into my lower lip as I thought, tugging it into my mouth. I didn’t really need to think very hard about it, though. If he could stay another few minutes, I wasn’t about to say no. “I would like that very much actually. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Usually people offer the drink as soon as someone arrives.” He chuckled. “I can’t say that I object to your order of doing things though, so yes. I would like a drink. Anything you have is fine.”
I eyed his tall, sculpted body and the beautiful ink adorning his skin. For the first time, I could really focus on what his tattoos were. There was Millie’s name in cursive above his heart with what I was assuming was her birth date below it. Stars seemed to burst from his ribs across his one side and an intricate cross adorned the other. A dragon’s tail curled around his bicep and its body ran down his back. I wasn’t usually much for tattoos, but his were beautiful. Too beautiful.
“Not that I mind at all, but are you going to put your clothes on while I go get said drink?”
Blue eyes sparkling as he shrugged, he put his hands on his hips and cocked his head. “Why? It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”
“True.” My eyes begged to remain fixed on him, but I tore them away. The man wanted a drink, not to be ogled until the end of time. “I’ll be right back.”
When I got back to the living room with two glasses of water, Archer was dressed and standing at my windows. He’d opened the curtains and was staring out at the city with a thoughtful expression.
He heard me walking in and turned to face me. “I was thinking. Why don’t we all go do something together tomorrow? You, me, and Millie. If you want to, that is.”
After all these weeks of him barely even mentioning her unless I specifically asked, I’d gotten the impression that he didn’t want me spending more time with her. As surprised as I was by the invitation, I was excited about it too. “I’d love to. It would be great to see Millie again. What did you have in mind?”
Chapter 25
Archer
Inviting Heidi to spend the day with us had been a spur of the moment decision. I was still trying to decide if I regretted it or not.
Millie and I were in the kitchen, me in front of the stove trying to magic up something edible while she was busy with her crayons and a new colouring book. I hadn’t told her yet that Heidi was coming over, even though I’d gotten a text from her to say that she was on her way.
Truth be told, I knew Millie was going to be ecstatic to see her and I wanted it to be a surprise. I couldn’t wait to see the moment when she realised it was Heidi at the door and that she would be spending the entire day with us.
We didn’t have anything planned. Heidi had asked what I had in mind, but since it wasn’t like I’d been planning on inviting her over at all, I’d told her we could decide what we felt like doing when she arrived.
As I flipped the jaffle I was making, there was a knock at the door. I glanced up at Millie. “I just need to get this on a plate. Go get the door. I’ll be right there.”
I already had the plate ready. Millie looked at it and frowned. “You never let me get the door unless you know it’s Grandma or Uncle Hugo. Grandma said she was busy today, so is it Uncle Hugo?”
Shrugging my shoulders as I laughed, I lifted the spatula and used it to point towards the door. “You’re getting too clever for your own good. Why don’t you go see who it is?”
She held my gaze for another second, then hopped off the stool. “Okay. I’ll go.”
Quickly sliding the sandwich onto the waiting plate, I took off after her so I could see her reaction to discovering it was Heidi waiting on the other side of the door.
When she pulled it open, there was a moment of stunned silence and then she rushed at Heidi. “You’re here! You’re really here.”
Heidi laughed and bent over to open her arms for a hug. “I a
m really here. I guess your daddy didn’t tell you I was coming over.”
“No.” Millie’s thin arms wrapped around Heidi and held her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Watching the two of them together, I didn’t know whether to be worried or happy. Millie was clearly as ecstatic as I’d known she would be, and to my surprise, Heidi seemed to be feeling the same way.
Seeing both of them that way made me decide that I didn’t regret inviting her, but I had a feeling I might regret it later. For now though, I was just going to enjoy having them with me and let them enjoy being with each other too.
Whatever happened tomorrow or the day after that, I’d deal with it then. I took a few steps closer to them as Millie pulled away from Heidi and flashed her a grin. “Welcome to our humble abode. You’re just in time for brunch. I hope you like jaffles.”
“I love them,” she said, smiling as she slung an arm around Millie’s shoulders. “As long as it doesn’t have a tomato on it.”
“You don’t like tomatoes?” I could have sworn she’d eaten it over dinner one time. It was ridiculous what minute details I remembered about this woman and the time we’d spent together.
Heidi’s eyes shone brightly with happiness that hadn’t been in them when I’d arrived at her flat yesterday. For some reason, it warmed me all the way through to see it back there.
“I like tomatoes just fine,” she said. “Just not on jaffles. It makes the bread soggy and they always burn my mouth from being trapped in all that hot cheese.”
A frown tugged at my eyebrows, but I also couldn’t hold back the small smile that came to my lips. “You are one strange, strange woman. But okay. One jaffle without tomato coming right up.”
I turned and led the way to the kitchen, listening to Heidi and Millie chatting a mile a minute. It was as though they were long-lost best friends who had been apart for years. A pang of regret for keeping them from each other stabbed me in the gut.
But at least they were both here now and we were all spending the day together. The thought made me happier than it should have.
Back at the stove, I watched as Millie showed off her colouring book to Heidi. I cleared my throat. “Okay, ladies. If I can have your attention for just a minute.”
Two pairs of eyes flitted up and met mine. I smiled at them. I couldn’t help it. My lips just kept twitching upwards at the sight of them together. “I know you have a lot to catch up on, but while I’m busy finishing the food, will you please decide what we’re doing today?”
“We get to decide?” Millie asked, her eyes widening. “Anything?”
“Anything,” I confirmed, then picked up the spatula and pointed it at her. “Within reason, of course. I mean, we can’t go off to Disneyland or something.”
Millie’s shoulders dropped as she pretended to be upset and snapped her little fingers. “That was exactly what I was going to ask for. What will we do now if we can’t go to Disneyland?”
Heidi laughed and threaded her fingers into Millie’s hair, looking at her with so much fondness in her eyes that it made the guilt over keeping them apart stab me that much harder. Then she glanced at me and the fondness was replaced with mischief. What are you up to now?
“How about a shopping spree?” she suggested, which sounded innocent enough. “A proper girls-day-out shopping spree for new clothes and then we can get manicures and pedicures.”
Aaaand there’s the catch. “I’m assuming you want me to come with you to do all this?”
Both girls nodded, but Millie’s eyes were alive with excitement. There was no way I could say no to her like that. “Fine. Let’s go spend all day in a mall. That sounds lovely.”
Millie jumped off her stool and ran around the island to give me a tight hug. “Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t wait. I’ve never been on a proper girls’ day out.”
“Grandma takes you shopping all the time,” I said.
She made a face at me. “Grandma takes me shopping for all the things she thinks I should get. She never lets me choose. She also said I’m too young to have my nails done.”
Heidi shot me a worried glance, probably concerned about having crossed a line with her suggestion. I gave my head an almost imperceptible shake, but she caught it, and her frown vanished.
“Grandma might think so, but I don’t think doing it just this once will do any harm.”
“Lots of girls your age have their nails done,” Heidi said. “I’ve even organised pamper parties for six- and seven-year old’s birthdays. Special technicians come in to do your hair and your nails. Sometimes they even give massages.”
I groaned, but I couldn’t deny that it actually sounded like a damn good plan for Millie’s next birthday party. This was why girls needed mothers. I couldn’t come up with shit like this. I’d never even heard of it.
Fuck, I backtracked in my own head. Not that Heidi should be Millie’s mother. It’s just nice for Millie to have someone to be girly with and to do girly stuff with.
Mum might have been a woman, but she wasn’t girly. She was the ultimate lady, but girly probably wasn’t even in her vocabulary.
Millie lit up from the inside out, her skin practically glowing with excitement. “Can we do that for my next party, Daddy? Please. I really, really want to. I got invited to a pamper party once but Grandma said I couldn’t go.”
I frowned so hard that I thought my face might stay that way. I hadn’t even known she’d been invited to something like that. Why was Mum refusing invitations without even discussing it with me?
I shelved the question for now. Neither Millie nor Heidi had the answer anyway and today was for them.
“Sure. Let’s keep it in mind.” I hugged her again and smiled at Heidi. “Let’s have some food and then we’ll go. It sounds like fun.”
It really didn’t, but the girls both looked so excited that I wasn’t going to be the spoilsport. Millie went back to her stool next to Heidi’s and happily munched on her jaffle when I served them. Heidi and I cleaned up together after we’d all eaten and then we were off.
It was weird how comfortable all this felt, like we’d done it so many times before. Having brunch together, cleaning up, taking Millie out to shop for clothes, it was our first time doing all of it but it was like I didn’t even have to think about what to do or what came next.
My words and actions just came so naturally, it was like they were coming from muscle memory. Only my muscles shouldn’t have these memories. I would admit that it felt good, though. It made me happy to see Millie so happy, so I didn’t want to question it too much.
Three hours later, I wasn’t so happy anymore. We were in shop number who even knew how many and Millie was in yet another changing room, trying on yet another heap of clothes.
Heidi and I were perched on overstuffed couches outside of it with iced coffees in hand while we waited for her. Turning my face to look at her, I caught sight of her freshly painted bright pink nails. “I like that colour on you, but you do realise it’s going to blind people out in the sunlight, right?”
She chuckled and lifted her shoulders. “I like it. It felt like a good, summery colour to go with.”
“It’s definitely summery,” I agreed. We lapsed into a companionable silence, but then something occurred to me. “I won’t say I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had today, but I still want to thank you for doing this with us. Millie hasn’t had a female influence in her life except for my mother, and well, her ideas are somewhat outdated at times.”
Heidi smiled and reached out to take my hand. She gave it a brief squeeze before withdrawing it again, but I found myself wanting her to hold on to it. “It’s my pleasure. I’m having a lot of fun with you guys. I’m happy to do this with her anytime.”
“You’d be a great mother. Do you know that?” Where in the fuck had that come from? The words hadn’t been anywhere near what I’d wanted to say, and yet they were what came out.
Surprise flashed in
Heidi’s eyes, but she nodded. “I would like to be one, one day. Like I said the other day, I love kids.”
She hesitated, her gaze drifting towards the closed door behind which Millie was changing. “I don’t mean to pry, but what happened to Millie’s mother? If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. I’m just curious, but I know it’s none of my business.”
I sighed. “Strictly speaking, it might not be. But you’re here with her and her mother isn’t. It’s natural that you’d wonder where she is.”
“Does that mean you’re going to tell me?” She reached for my hand again, and this time, she held it.
I gave her a sharp nod. She deserved to know the truth, I supposed. “As far as I know she’s trying to make it as a stage actress in Melbourne. She always did have stars in her eyes, so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when she decided settling down and motherhood weren’t for her.”
“Were you married to her?” she asked gently.
“No.” The word came out like a shot, a blast of loud noise in the shop. I lowered my voice again so Millie wouldn’t hear me, glancing at the door to check that it hadn’t opened yet. “Fuck no. I offered to marry her when she fell pregnant, but she refused. We hadn’t even really been together. It was more of a casual fling that suited us both at the time. I wanted to try to make a real go of it for Millie’s sake, but she didn’t feel the same way.”
“So she just left?” Horror darkened Heidi’s eyes, making the golden flecks in them stand out more than I’d ever seen them before. “That’s terrible.”
“Yeah, it was. We’re okay though, Millie and I. Her mother might not have wanted anything to do with her, but she’s my entire world. I just wish I could be there for her more often, you know?”
Jesus. I hadn’t even spoken about this so openly with Hugo before, but maybe it was because it was all so repressed that the floodgates had just opened when Heidi had asked.
“When she was just born, I held her in my arms and swore that I’d protect her from everyone and everything, that nothing would ever hurt her. I never thought I’d have to protect her from her own mother, but it turned out that she was responsible for the biggest pain in Millie’s life when Millie herself was only a couple of days old.”
Show My What You Got Page 16