by Bria Quinlan
I pulled my arm away as his grip loosened and started back toward my house. Connor soldiered on next to me, sipping at his coffee and keeping his mouth shut.
Which proved he wasn't a dumb jock, because his life was in serious jeopardy if one more wrong thing came out of his mouth.
At my building's front door, I expected him to just go on his way, but he trudged in behind me and followed me up the stairs. I was really hoping he wasn't planning on coming in. I wasn't in the mood for one of his Apartment Conversations. I'd already started calling them ACs in my head just because thinking about all the things I couldn't say in public now needed to be abbreviated.
I took out my key and tried to gauge what he was thinking.
When nothing came, I slid the key home and opened the door. Stepping in, I was relieved and annoyed to see him waiting in the hall. After all the liberties he'd taken with my home in the last twenty-four hours, this seemed a little silly.
“So. I'll give you a call,” he said, not even looking at me this time. Just as done with me as I was with him. “We'll figure out what our next move is later.”
“Okay.” I walked back to the door when I realized he wouldn't even come in for an AC.
“I have to meet with Dex and my trainer. So, I'm not sure what my schedule is. I'll make sure to have my calendar in front of me so we can line up some dates…I mean, outings.”
“Okay.”
“Great.”
“Yup.”
“See ya.”
“Bye.”
Brilliant.
13
“WHAT WERE YOU thinking? This is an emergency.” I looked at the bag wondering what could possibly have caused such a lack of planning. “What kind of friend shows up without chocolate to an emergency meeting?”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “Dude, this is just the alcohol. Kasey's bringing the chocolate.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh,” Jenna echoed. “What has gotten into you?”
What hadn't? I'd been feeling guilty all day. I don't know why. I’d just fought fire with fire. It wasn't my fault he couldn't take what he dished out.
I'd left the door cracked so Kasey and Jayne could let themselves in and join us in the kitchen as I put together the drink mix Jenna brought.
I got out my blender and considered just pouring the whole bottle of booze in. Adding drunk on top of confused was probably not going to get me to a better place any quicker.
“We’re here!" Kasey carried a Matteo’s chocolate cake in, letting Jayne close the door behind them. She set it on the counter and tossed her jacket on the couch behind her. “I figured if we're going to pack on the calories, they might as well be the best darn calories I could find.”
“Bless you.” I handed her a knife and grabbed plates and silverware while Jenna took over the Margarita creation.
That was probably for the best.
We chit chatted while I cut very healthy slices of cake for each of us. Jayne wandered into the living room, turning on quiet background music and lighting candles. She slid the comfy chair so it faced the couch instead of the TV and cleared the coffee table for our drinks and dessert, shifting pillows and throw blankets around.
She was very visual. She could turn an empty room into a welcoming home in less than an hour. I was surprised HGTV hadn't somehow found her and given her a show.
She was also very careful about girl time. Always making sure she wasn’t overstepping into our circle. Always seeming to remind herself that she was Kasey’s tagalong friend, not ours.
We were going to have to fix that.
After we fixed the mess I’d landed in.
“So, spill...” Jenna directed from her perch on the counter. “The details, not the drink.”
Now that they were here, I was oddly reluctant to share my messed up morning.
“Connor and I had a fight.”
“A fight?” Jenna kept her voice carefully neutral as she took a sip of her drink.
“Kind of.” I think. That was a fight, right? He didn’t fight back, so maybe not. Maybe it was just a…something where I did all the talking in a negative fashion.
“Did you have a fight or not?” Kasey wasn't as careful. She was a facts girl. Unlike me and Jenna, Kasey wasn't a writer. She owned her own marketing company and sometimes she could be very cut and dry.
“I'm not sure.” That was the worst part. “We went to the farmers market and this girl started making a big deal that we were together. She all but called me ugly right to my face. Totally couldn't believe Connor and I were together.”
“Hailey,” Jenna smiled at me softly to lighten the blow. “You and Connor aren't together.”
“I know that. But she didn't!" I could still feel the frustration from the whole situation. The embarrassment from standing there being discussed as if I didn't exist. “She just kept going and going. Connor even gave her a chance to back out of what she was saying, but she wouldn't. He got ticked and we left.”
“So, Connor came to your defense and you had a fight,” Kasey stated as if I wasn’t being completely emotional.
“Yes. No. Not exactly like that.”
“Exactly like what?” Kasey pushed.
Why did I invite Facts Girl?
“Kasey,” Jayne gave her a chill-the-heck-out warning look.
I knew I liked her.
“Well, I was really mad,” I explained.
“And?” Jayne prompted before Kasey could jump on that.
“And I may have said some things that—while absolutely true—might not have been so nice.”
“Such as?” Now Jenna was in on the questions.
“Well, I said in my world people would assume he was a dumb jock.”
Jayne just stared at me while Kasey shook her head a little and Jenna gave me another of those soft smiles that says what-were-you-thinking and it's-going-to-be-okay all at once.
“Anything else?”
“I said, something that sounded vaguely clever, like in his world people judge you by your looks in mine they judge you by your books. And then followed that up with a statement about having to be intelligent to write a book.”
Kasey actually groaned this time.
“Hey!” This was not the support I needed. “At least I didn't go for the cliché judge-a-book-by-its-cover thing.”
“Really?” Kasey set her drink down, probably afraid she’d spill it with all the arm waving she was doing. “Hailey you just insulted someone who was sticking up for you and you're worried about self-editing clichés?”
“I think what Kasey is trying to say is we should focus on what happened and how to fix it, right?” Jenna took a sip of her Margarita and glared at Kasey over the rim of her glass.
“To be fair,” I added in my defense, “he agreed with her.”
Kasey slammed her hand down on the table. “He agreed with her? I'm going to kick him so hard he'll still be limping when he starts Social Security.”
Jayne patted Kasey's knee in her offhanded way. You could see that these two balanced each other out. It was surprising to find out they’d been estranged for a few years. “What exactly did he say?”
“Well, he said there was no way he could be seen with me and no one would buy that he'd be dating me.”
“He said that in front of the girl?” Jenna asked, a bit surprised.
“Well, no.”
“After she left?”
“Um, no.”
“Hailey, when exactly did he say that?”
“When we met that first day.”
They all just stared at me.
“What?” This was my emergency meeting. They had better be considering how to make me feel better. “He did. It's only been six days. I seriously doubt he suddenly thinks I'm good enough for him.”
I sat there, drinking my drink and waiting for one of them to comment.
And waited.
And waited.
“Well?” I prompted. What kind of support meeting was this?
“Well,” Jenna started. “He was a complete jerk the day you met.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
“But, and correct me if I'm wrong.” Kasey set her drink down and leaned in, forcing me to meet her gaze. “He’s apologized and been nothing but nice since then.”
I really didn't want to have to agree with her.
“He's a bit pushy. The whole sleeping here thing is a little much.”
“But, he's been nice. Polite. Suggested you guys be friends. Told off the girl who said you weren't famous or pretty enough for him.”
“Even though he agreed with her.” That was the point. Why was she not seeing the point?
“Okay, let's say he agrees with her,” Kasey allowed, and I got suspicious this was going somewhere I wasn’t going to like.
“Because he does.” I gave her the squinty eyes.
“Fine. Say he does—”
“He does.”
“Hailey, for the love of stars, let her finish.” Jenna got up and headed toward the kitchen. “I would have brought the pitcher with us if I'd known how irrational this conversation was going to be.”
I couldn't believe it. I watched her go and then turned toward Kasey who was using those too-knowing eyes on me now.
He'd won them over. One morning coffee and they were convinced he was a great guy. That all the tabloids and the wild behavior and the womanizing and the cheating was all...just...POOF! Nothing.
“You know what, if a guy said you weren't good enough to date him—that he wouldn't be seen with you—I'd stand by you no matter what. I don't care how nice he was after that.”
I sat back, slouched in the comfy chair arms crossed.
“Hailey...”
“Don't Hailey me. You know I'm right.”
“It's just, he sounds like he's trying to make up for it. Maybe he didn't mean it.”
“Oh, trust me. He meant it. He meant it so much, he walked out of the meeting and left me standing there looking ugly and stupid.”
“Hailey...” Jenna slid down the couch to get closer to me. “I know you're embarrassed and you're annoyed you like him, but, being mean back to him isn't going to make things better.”
“Also,” Kasey added, “that stopped working when we were twelve.”
I gave her another squinty-eyed look, then turned back to Jenna.
“But, it's going to be on the news.” I could feel the slight buzz making my head feel light, like it wanted to slip back and let the soft cushions hold me up. I downed the rest of my drink, just plain tired of having to explain myself to the three people who had always just understood before.
“Your fight is going to be on the news?”
“No. Everything.” Weren’t they listening? “Everything is going to be on the news. And they're all going to be making fun of me because I'm short and tubby and plain.”
“Okay, first of all, you're like two inches taller than me. Just because you're not an Amazon does not make you short. And when a size six is fat, we have a problem.”
“It's fat next to a zero.”
Jayne snorted, and choked on her drink. “A stick figure is fat next to a zero.”
“But, it's just going to happen over and over again. And every time he’s going to have to defend me because he's pretending to be my boyfriend and I'm going to know he feels stupid and embarrassed because he agrees with them.”
I sniffed and reached for the box of tissues Kasey produced.
“And every time he's going to get more annoyed and embarrassed.” I sniffed into the tissue, blowing my nose and wondering if I could drink another Margarita and just forget this entire weekend ever happened.
“Hailey, if he's that shallow, he's a jerky-jerk. Look. It's not like this is new to us or something.” Jenna took my drink away and forced me to face her.
“It isn't?”
“Nope. We all love Dane, right?”
“I guess. Well, most of the time.” There was the occasional idiotic guy move, but other than that, yeah.
“I thought you guys were a couple when I met you,” Kasey jumped in.
“You did?” That seemed—weird.
“Yup. You’re super tight and he’s really protective. I thought he was going to break Connor’s nose today.”
“And,” Jenna added, “he's even better looking than Connor.”
I nodded, although Dane was more of a model good-looking whereas Connor was just classic guy good-looking. Connor was real life good-looking ironically enough.
“And even more of a bed-hopper,” Kasey threw out there as if we all needed reminding.
That was true also. Although, who knows how many girls Connor was picking up on the road and sneaking into over-priced hotel rooms.
Jenna kept going, "And, he says stupid stuff about women all the time.”
I couldn't argue with that. Just last week Dane said if the world was coming to an end, he'd decided that only the redheads should be allowed into bomb shelters since they were already an endangered species.
I tried to explain the difference between endangered and fewer. I still have no idea if he didn't understand or he was just being Dane.
“What's your point?” I had a feeling I wasn't going to like where this was going.
“My point is, you can like the guy as a friend and still think he's a complete moron.”
“I know. I know that.” My head was spinning a bit. I'd downed those two drinks way too fast. Especially since I was typically a one-drink girl. Buzzed and dizzy was fine, but I was going to have to avoid drunk at all costs if I was going to win this argument. “It's just...”
“It's not like you don't get hit on.” Jayne jumped in. “We can't go out without you getting hit on. You've dumped your last four boyfriends because you got bored with them. The last one left because he saw it coming. Just because this one guy has an obsessively wrong version in his head of what an attractive woman looks like, that's not your fault.”
“Yeah," Jenna put in and went back to her own drink.
“Do you or do you not write books for girls trying to break the stereotype of those airbrushed magazine covers telling girls they’re beautiful? That healthy is beautiful. That smart is beautiful. Am I correct?”
“Right. I know this isn't all about how I look.” Kind of.
“Because, you look good.”
I grinned at Kasey. Since we'd met her, she'd been Jenna’s and my biggest cheerleader.
“I don't look bad.”
“Whatever. You know you look good. You're at the gym making me feel guilty every day. Your hair is gorgeous with all those spangly highlights in chestnut. You're cute because you dress cute. You’re actually really pretty, but that’s not your thing—working to look pretty. You look good.”
I let my head fall to the side so I could grin at her.
“So, what's the problem?” Kasey stared me down, leaving me no room to back away from her question. “Are you upset about what the girl said, what the newspapers may say, or what Connor said that first day?”
“Can't the answer be all those things?” I felt like crying. Like if I just had one good cry, everything would be better. I'd be out of this horrible situation and everything could go back to normal.
“Hailey, no one gets this upset—emergency chocolate and Margaritas upset—over maybes.” It was never a good sign when even Jenna was pushing back. “We'll work on that. That's what friends do.”
“But," Kasey jumped in. “If you're stressing about the guy, then let's just talk about it.”
“Right.” Jenna shrugged when I looked at her. “All we’re saying is you should think about why you're upset. If it's the attention and the people and the pictures, forget about them. Your girls love you. You're one of those authors who fans flock to. They all dress up in costumes and want to have their picture taken with you. They don't care that you’re not a size negative two. If it's Connor, then you're going to have to deal with it.”
Jenna snagged another slice of c
ake and shrugged again.
I forced myself not to think about Connor. To think only about the next slice of cake, because, yeah. I was going to have to deal with something.
I just wasn’t sure what.
14
ONE OF THE BEST things in the world about being a writer is the ability to ignore your alarm clock ninety-percent of the time.
Not that I do. I’m up most mornings at seven and off to the gym. But, after emergency margarita night, seven a.m. might as well have been yesterday. There was nothing in the world that made me feel better than a nice, hard workout. Except maybe hitting a deadline and turning a book in. But, physically, I was a gym addict. I’m not a fitness nut, but I like to move. It gets my creative juices flowing, lets me justify having a job that sometimes means fourteen-hour days on my butt, and allows for the emergency chocolate and Margaritas that every girl caves to.
So, it wasn't odd to see those raised eyebrows from the girls behind the counter as I flashed my badge in front of the infrared scanner just before lunch. By this time on a Monday I'd typically be home, showered, and sitting in front of my computer typing away on the next great adventure of the undead and those who love them.
“Is Shawn in?”
“Rough weekend?” Kim pulled out the trainers' calendar and flipped through.
“You have no idea.” Because, even I couldn’t make this up.
“Oh,” she gave me a look that could only be called conspiratorial. “I think I can imagine.”
I started to laugh it off, but then thought about the look she gave me. “What?”
“Well, if I was dating Mr. Baseball, I don't think I'd be getting out of bed...well, ever.” She dropped the book open to Shawn's page and highlighted the rest of the hour. “Of course, that's assuming I could keep him in the bed. If not, then, yeah. Maybe I'd be here.”
I wasn't ready for this. I knew it was coming and I knew I'd be dealing with it sooner rather than later, but I didn't expect it to start at one place I considered a refuge. Even Jenna and Kasey weren't part of my gym. This was the place you came to put on your headphones and block the world out. The last thing I needed was the world joining me here.