by Amy Clipston
Standing, she crossed the room and lifted the box from the chair, then slipped the photographs back inside. As she placed it on the bureau, she heard something metal clink against the side of the box. She opened it again and removed the letters and photographs, stacking them on the bureau until the box was empty. A small brass key lay on the bottom.
Picking up the key, she examined it. It was inscribed with “U.S.P.S. Do Not Duplicate” followed by a series of numbers.
“Post office box,” she whispered, closing her fingers around the cool key. Her stomach tightened. “Another secret.”
After dropping the letters and photographs back into the box, Sarah lay the key down on the bureau, snuffed out the lamp, and climbed back into bed. She closed her eyes and silently recited her evening prayers.
God, please lead me down the right path for my and my zwillingbopplin’s future.
18
Thank you for coming with me,” Sarah said, stepping into the post office with Kathryn the following afternoon. “I convinced Nancy and Katie I needed to run to the market, but Mamm knew the truth when she left for the bakery this morning.”
“Did you really think I would let you come here alone?” Kathryn looped her arm around Sarah.
“I’m just glad Mamm let me come without her. She’s been so worried about me. I know she thinks I should just let Peter’s memory go and concentrate on the future. But how can I when I have so many unresolved questions?” Her chin wobbled.
Kathryn gave her a sad smile and touched her shoulder. “Sarah, it’s okay to cry. And it’s okay to ask questions. You need to understand the past before you can concentrate on Rachel and Seth’s future.”
“Danki.” Sarah hugged her sister. “You’re the only one who understands.”
They took their place in line, and Sarah studied the key, wondering what secrets that little brass clue held about her late husband’s past. When they reached the counter, Sarah pulled the key and a stack of letters from the concealed pocket in the back of her apron.
“May I help you?” a young man in a postal uniform asked.
“Yes,” Sarah said. She placed the key and letters on the counter, trembling with anxiety about the secrets the key would reveal to her. “My husband passed away in the fire at the Kauffman & Yoder furniture store almost ten months ago.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat, and Kathryn placed a hand on her shoulder, silently encouraging her to continue. “I found a box with this key and these letters. I would like to clear out his box and close it.”
“Is your name on the box, ma’am?” he asked.
Sarah shook her head. “I had no knowledge of the box until I found the letters and key.”
The man grimaced, tapping the counter. “What’s your name, ma’am?” he asked.
“Sarah Troyer.” She twirled her finger around the tie to her cloak. “My husband was Peter Troyer.”
The man took the key, studied it, and then examined the letter. “Excuse me for a moment while I get my supervisor. I’ll need permission since your name isn’t on the box.” Taking the keys and letters, he disappeared into an area behind the counter.
“Don’t worry,” Kathryn whispered. “They’ll understand. This can’t be the first time a spouse has found a post office box.”
Glancing to her left, Sarah spotted a young English woman mailing a package while a toddler boy sat in a stroller and whined. Sarah smiled.
She was still thinking of her twins when the young man returned to the counter, accompanied by a middle-aged man holding the key and letters.
“Mrs. Troyer,” the older man said. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I was so saddened to hear about the fire. I bought a hope chest for my daughter at Kauffman & Yoder, and I’ve known Eli Kauffman for years.” He handed her the letters.
“Thank you.” Sarah nodded and slipped the letters into the pocket of her apron. “Eli is my father. This is my sister, Kathryn Beiler.”
The man smiled at Kathryn. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He glanced back at Sarah. “I understand Mr. Troyer didn’t have your name on the box. It’s not our policy to allow other folks access to the box. However, under these circumstances, I can make an exception. Mr. Troyer had paid for the box a year in advance. I’ll get a form for you, and you can close the box and receive any remaining mail.”
“Thank you,” Sarah said.
With the key in his hand, he disappeared behind the counter.
Kathryn rested a hand on Sarah’s shoulder while they waited for the man to return. Sarah’s mind swirled with questions. Would the box reveal only letters from DeLana Maloney or would there be more secrets? Could Sarah stomach the lies the letters would share with her? Her heart ached with worry. She prayed the letters would only confirm what she already knew—that Peter had a son named Cody Alexander Maloney whom he was supporting. Sarah didn’t want to know any more than that.
A few minutes later, the postal worker returned with a stack of three letters and a form. Sarah filled out the form, closing the box and forwarding any remaining mail to her parents’ home. Thanking the man, she and Kathryn headed out to the parking lot where Nina Janitz waited to drive them back to the bakery.
After they climbed into the car, Sarah examined the three unopened letters. Each one included DeLana’s return address. Her hands trembling, she slipped them into her apron, deciding to open them later when she was alone.
Leaning over, she touched Kathryn’s arm. “Danki.”
“Gern gschehne, sweet Sarah Rose.” Kathryn patted her hand. “Give yourself time to heal and figure things out. Don’t feel rushed to accept Peter’s past. Remember the verse from the service last week? It was 2 Corinthians 1:3: ‘Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.’”
“Ya.” Leaning back in the seat, Sarah closed her eyes and thanked God for the support from her wonderful family members, especially Kathryn.
Luke wiped his brow and retrieved his can of Coke from the workbench. He glanced down at the entertainment center he was sanding and heaved a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the world.
The entertainment center wasn’t his best work, and he owed it all to one distraction—Sarah. Their disagreement and the sadness in her eyes had haunted him since they spoke last night. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t concentrate. It was shattering his soul.
Glancing across the shop, he spotted Eli weaving through the projects and carpenters toward Luke’s workbench. Taking a long gulp of Coke, he imagined what Eli would say about the entertainment center. “Try again” was the most likely comment. Luke set the can on the workbench and hopped up on a stool.
“Great work, Luke,” Eli said, studying the furniture piece. “I think Mitch Harrison will love it.”
With a brow arched in disbelief, Luke glanced at Eli. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Those corners aren’t perfectly square. I figured you’d tell me to start over.”
Eli chuckled, patting Luke on the shoulder. “You’re way too hard on yourself. You remind me of myself at your age.” His expression softened, becoming serious. “You know, losing your brother was a huge blow to our family. He was like a son to me, and he meant the world to my Sarah Rose. He also did great work, just like you.”
Luke lifted the can and took another long drink, willing the emotions within him to settle. Hearing about his brother this way caused his stomach to tighten and a lump to swell in his throat.
“What I want to say, Luke, is I’d be honored to have you as a part of our family here at Kauffman & Yoder. I’ve spoken to Elmer about it, and we want you to stay here and work for us.” Eli gave him a hopeful smile. “Please, son, say you will. We need you.”
Luke took another swig and then set the can down again. “Danki for asking me. It means a lot.” He took a deep breath, searching for the correct words.
“But I can’t accept.”
Eli frowned. “Why not? Don’t you like working here?”
“Ya, I do.” Luke slowly rose from the stool. “But I’m thinking it’s time I head back home.”
“Home?”
“Back to Ohio. I’m just not sure I belong here.” Luke studied the piece of furniture, staring at the corners he should’ve squared better. Pop would turn over in his grave if he saw this poor excuse for an entertainment center.
“You’re talking nonsense.” Eli smiled and patted Luke’s shoulder. “You think about it and get back to me on Monday.” He looked back at the entertainment center and shook his head. “You did a great job on that. I don’t know what you’re bellyaching about.”
Luke rubbed his bottom lip, considering Eli’s offer of a permanent job. It was tempting to stay, but it would torture him to see Sarah with anger in her eyes, silently accusing him of being a liar, time after time, when he visited the Kauffmans or went to church services.
But how could he walk away from his brother’s children? He supposed he could always visit periodically, and he could call and write letters to keep in touch. Perhaps he could keep in touch through Eli.
He lifted the can to his lips again and glanced at the piece of furniture. Maybe leaving was the best choice. He could sand and stain the entertainment center this evening and ask Jake to finish it for him next week. He had forged a great friendship with the young man, and Luke imagined Jake would be happy to help him complete the project.
Gazing across the shop, his eyes settled on Jake walking to his workbench, a wide grin splitting his young face. Luke tossed the empty can of Coke into the trashcan and then weaved through the shop to Jake’s workbench, giving him a friendly smack on the back. “Hey, there, Jake. Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Sure thing.” Jake nodded toward the door. “Outside?”
“Ya.” Luke followed him out to the parking lot, where they sat on the concrete step. “What are you grinning about?”
“I just talked to Jessica.” Jake folded a piece of gum into his mouth and held the pack out to Luke, who took a piece. “She’s coming to visit soon. She said she’s doing real well in school, and she misses me.” His grin was back. “She’s planning to come to visit her sister, and she can’t wait to see Sarah’s twins.”
“That’s wunderbaar,” Luke said, slipping the cinnamon gum into his mouth and the wrapper into his pocket. “You’re pretty crazy about her, ya?.”
“Oh, yeah.” Jake’s face became serious. “You know when it just feels right? It’s like everything clicks between you and your girl, and you just know in your gut that it’s right?”
Luke nodded. He knew exactly what Jake meant. He only wished Sarah felt it in her gut too.
“I hope I can convince her to go to college here. I can’t imagine having her so far away for four more years. Just waiting for her to finish school is going to be next to impossible.” Jake chewed his gum and sighed. “I guess only time will tell, though. She’s a stubborn one.”
Luke snorted, thinking he again knew just what the young man meant. Stubborn was the perfect word to describe Sarah Rose Troyer.
Jake bent his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. “You didn’t invite me out here to discuss how nuts I am about Jessica. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you would finish that entertainment center for me next week,” Luke said. “I’ll stay late tonight and get it stained and all. I was just wondering if you would put the clear coat on and then the hardware.”
Jake nodded, chewing the gum. “Sure thing. Are you starting something else?”
Luke shook his head. “I’m leaving, heading back to Ohio.”
“Oh?” Jake looked surprised. “For good?”
Luke nodded. “Ya, but I’ll visit.”
“It’s none of my business, but why?”
Luke chewed his gum, debating what to tell him. He hated to lie, but the truth was too personal. “I need to get back to my old job and my house. It’s just time.”
“I hate to see you go, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.” Jake slapped Luke’s arm. “You better keep in touch or I’ll come find ya.”
Luke gave him a sad smile. “You know I will.”
Jake stood and headed into the shop while Luke remained and stared across the parking lot. The sound of boots crunching on the gravel drew his attention to Timothy walking from the supply truck toward the back door.
“Sitting down on the job again, huh, Troyer?” Timothy quipped as he approached.
“Yup, that’s what I do—goof off all day long.” Luke stood and shook his head. “You don’t need to worry about me anymore. I’m heading back to Ohio.”
Timothy’s face mirrored his surprise. “And what made you change your mind about staying here?”
“I don’t belong.” Luke said, deciding to tell Timothy the truth since Timothy already knew the whole story about Luke’s identity. “Sarah has decided I’m a liar like my brother, and I can’t bear to stay under those circumstances. I’ll keep in touch with my niece and nephew and maybe visit a couple of times a year.”
“I can’t say I’ll regret seeing you go since you already ratted me out.” Timothy rubbed his chin.
“What do you mean?”
“Sarah thinks I’m a liar, too, thanks to you. I thought you were going to keep our little secret to yourself, but you’ve blown it for both of us.”
Luke shook his head with regret. “I’m sorry. I never meant to get you into trouble with her too. It just slipped.”
“Right.” Timothy shrugged. “I guess I’ll see you when you visit the kinner.”
Luke studied Timothy. “Why do you hate me so much?”
“I don’t hate you.” Timothy’s expression softened. “You just remind me of all I lost when we lost Peter.”
“Why can’t we be friends, since you and Peter were? I didn’t come here with a chip on my shoulder, but you’ve certainly had one from day one.”
“You did just what I worried you’d do—made me look like a liar in front of my family. That’s what I’ve always feared.”
“You’re her brother, Timothy. She’ll forgive you. I’m nothing to her now. What I thought we had was ruined when she realized I wasn’t a cousin. I lost everything, but you have her love as a brother.”
“She’ll eventually forgive you.” Timothy smiled. “Things are about to get better in her life. Pretty soon it will be a year since Peter died and she can court again. I’m fairly sure she’ll be getting married here shortly. Maybe she’ll get married this spring, since it’ll be the second marriage for both, and they won’t have to wait until fall.”
Luke’s stomach roiled. “She’s getting married?”
Timothy folded his arms. “She and Norman are becoming really close, and I have a feeling he’s going to ask her soon. He’s had feelings for her for a long time, but he’s kept it to himself so as not to pressure her.”
“Norman?” Luke asked, his stomach churning with jealousy.
“It makes sense for them to get together, don’t you think? They’ve both lost their spouse, and they have kinner to raise. It’s the perfect partnership.”
Luke swallowed his disgust.
“It’s not public knowledge, so don’t get me in trouble with this one, okay? Norman’s told me he’s going to propose, but he hasn’t even asked Sarah yet.” Timothy pointed to Luke’s chest. “Promise me, all right?”
“You’re secret is safe with me.” Luke couldn’t fathom saying those words aloud.
“And for the record, I don’t hate you. I’m sorry I came off that way.” Timothy held his hand out and Luke shook it. “Friends?”
“Ya.” Luke stared after Timothy in disbelief as he disappeared into the shop.
Bile rose in his throat at the thought of Sarah marrying Norman. He was sure that was a sign for him to leave Bird-in-Hand. He couldn’t stand to watch her marry another man. Luke’s decision was made for him—he was going h
ome to Ohio.
Later that evening, Sarah stared at the letters in her hands, rereading the words for what felt like the hundredth time. Each of the three letters had the same overall message from DeLana to Peter. She asked if he was okay and if he had forgotten to send the child support. DeLana requested that Peter call her to let her know everything was okay, and her cellular phone number was scrawled at the end of each note. Sarah had committed the number to memory.
She couldn’t stop the overwhelming urge to call DeLana.
She wanted to hear DeLana’s voice and ask her several questions, such as how she and Peter had met, how long they courted, why they broke up, if they truly loved each other, and why Peter had walked away from his son.
Sarah closed her eyes and hugged the letters to her chest. She had to know exactly what had happened between Peter and DeLana and verify that Luke’s version of the story was accurate. The questions would haunt her until they were answered.
A knock on the door startled her. Sarah slipped the letters into the pocket of her apron.
“Sarah Rose?” Mamm’s anxious voice sounded outside the door. “Are you all right?”
“Ya.” Sarah rose from the chair. She wiped her eyes, and adjusted her prayer Kapp on her hair. She then forced a smile and opened the door. “I was just resting. Is Dat ready for devotions?”
“No.” Mamm’s eyes studied Sarah’s. “Norman’s here for a visit. Are you well enough to come see him?”
“Ya.” Sarah straightened her dress. “The zwillingbopplin are fast asleep in the nursery.” She stepped past Mamm, but a strong hand on her shoulder stopped her.
Mamm didn’t look convinced. “You’ve been quiet all day. What did you find out at the post office?”
Sarah paused, debating what to say. “I closed out his box and I got a few more letters. All from DeLana.”
“Did the letters upset you?” Mamm touched her hand. “You must let go of all of this hurt. Please do it for your heart and for the kinner. They can sense when you’re sad, mei liewe.”