He disappeared through the door and scrambled up the ladder. Evie laid her head on her arms while he fired up the engines. She hoped he was right about the depth because if he drove this beast into the bottom, they’d be sitting ducks.
*
“Goddammit,” Brianna swore, throwing something that hit the deck with a clink.
“You aren’t helping any, you know that?” The guy she called David looked angry.
Sarah wanted to laugh it was so damn funny, but she didn’t want to call attention to herself. What if they decided to toss her into the bayou after all? The gators were out. They’d already seen the glow of eyes lurking above the surface when David turned the spotlight on to figure out where they were in relation to land.
They weren’t, of course. The swamp stretched around them, nothing but cypresses, Spanish moss, and duckweed as far as the eye could see. The mosquitoes were murder. Sarah hunkered into a ball. She couldn’t cross her arms against her body because of the handcuffs, so she shook her arms as much as she could to drive the bloodthirsty things away. It didn’t really work and she could feel the welts rising. Her skin itched like crazy, but there was nothing she could do about it.
Her only consolation was that her two idiot companions were as miserable as she was. The boat drifted silently, the motor having died several minutes ago. It was probably the fuel pump, but she wasn’t telling them. Not that it’d do a bit of good anyway if they didn’t have a spare on board.
“Why’d you have to switch to this anyway? The motor boat worked perfectly well.”
“Airboats are faster, and they can cross land,” David said.
Idiot. They could ride across land, but you’d damn well better know what you were doing. Airboats didn’t have brakes and idiots shouldn’t be at the tiller. He’d rented it or stolen it, no doubt from Bubba Boudreaux’s. Probably watched a movie or something and thought it’d be a breeze, ha-ha, to operate. If these two didn’t kill her on purpose, they’d probably all end up dead out of sheer stupidity.
“This one doesn’t seem to be faster, Einstein. In fact, I’d say it’s dead. So now what the fuck are we supposed to do? Wait for someone to rescue us?”
“You know, I’m beginning to regret this deal.” His voice was a hard growl.
Brianna didn’t seem to care. “Yeah, well you need me now, so don’t get any funny ideas. Ouch!” She slapped herself to dislodge a mosquito. “Where are the paddles?”
“Give me a few minutes. I’ll figure this out.”
“Fine, you play mechanic, I’m finding them.”
David didn’t say anything else while Brianna flipped open compartments.
“Here they are. Thank God.” She pulled two paddles from the storage locker under the deck and tossed one at Sarah. “Make yourself useful, kid.”
Sarah struggled to position herself at the side of the boat and dipped the paddle into the dark water. She thought about dropping it accidentally on purpose but rapidly discarded the idea because Brianna would probably make her go in after it.
Still, she wasn’t in any hurry to paddle quickly or well. They inched forward at a snail’s pace while mosquitoes ate her alive and her muscles screamed. She began to think that falling in and drowning would be preferable to even a single second more of this torture.
*
Kevin MacDonald rocked back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. The strain of sleepless nights was beginning to burn deep, but he couldn’t seem to stop them. He couldn’t quit thinking about that last mission. Matt was going to take the heat for the whole damn thing, but he shouldn’t have to. It wasn’t his fault. Wartime was different. Things happened. Things you weren’t always prepared for.
A fifteen-year-old traitor wasn’t something any of them were prepared for. Not that the kid had a choice, probably, but the information passing through him had been reliable before. It wasn’t Matt’s fault it was a setup this time. Wasn’t his fault he wanted to save the kid and his family and ended up losing two of their own instead.
Marco and Jim were gone. Kev slid a hand through his hair. He’d liked Jim well enough, but Marco had probably been his best friend in the world. They’d gone through Hell Week together when they were trying out for the Special Forces, and they’d been best buddies since.
Kev tried not to think about that last day when the tangos had taken Marco and Jim away and made an example of them. He would have given anything to save them both. Marco had a wife, for fuck’s sake. Lucky San Ramos wasn’t answering the phone these days. Hadn’t answered his calls since they’d returned, and he’d tried to make sure she was okay and to tell her he was sorry.
When he went around to Marco and Lucky’s place that one time, no one was there. A For Sale sign tilted crookedly in the yard, the only indication Lucky still owned the place. He’d tried a couple of times, but she was never home.
At another terminal, Billy Blake’s fingers flew over his keyboard while he worked at cracking the password. Kev didn’t know too much about it, but he knew it was only a matter of time. The Kid had programs that cracked passwords with amazing speed. They’d been at this one only a few minutes because they’d had to badge back into the building, pass through several layers of security, and get to their desks. Kev glanced at his watch. Nearly four a.m. now. Colonel Mendez wouldn’t be in for another two hours at least.
Kev picked up the phone and dialed by rote. The answering machine kicked on, spooking him as usual. Marco’s voice sounded so alive as he announced they weren’t available so please leave a message. He started to hang up, but when the beep sounded, he tossed a glance at Billy and lowered his voice.
“Hi, Lucky,” he said. “I, uh, hope you’re okay. Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m really sorry. Um, call me if—”
If what, fuckhead?
What could he possibly say that would ease her pain? Jesus God. Kev stabbed the disconnect button and dropped the phone onto the desk. His gut roiled. It was unfair as hell that Marco was gone. And there was nothing he could do about it, nothing he could say to ease Lucky’s pain or his own guilt.
Billy grunted and Kev spun in his chair. “You got anything yet, dude?”
“Close, but no. I thought I had it for a sec. I’ve got the hashing done, but it’s still trying to work out the plaintext word from the hash.”
“Yeah, whatever you say.”
Billy turned to grin at him. “It’s easy, B. Just load the program and let it go to town. Hey, you okay, man?”
Kev pinched the bridge of his nose and yawned. “Yeah, just got a lot on my mind.”
“You talk to the psych yet?”
The military psychiatrist they were all required to talk to after returning from a mission. He’d meant to. Had to if he ever wanted to go on another mission. “No, not yet. Next week.”
“You talk to Lucky at all?”
“No.”
“Man, it was a bad trip this time. Fucked us all up. Wish we could have been here for the funeral, though. She’d have appreciated it, don’t you think?”
Kev ignored the question. “We’re going to lose our team leader over this.”
It was the first time any of them had voiced it aloud, though they’d certainly all thought it. Hell, and if they got caught doing what they were doing right now, they’d find themselves at Fort Leavenworth along with Matt. And Kev just damn well didn’t care. If he could do anything to save Matt Girard’s ass, he’d do it. If he could take the fall for the guy, he’d do it. If he had to go down with his team leader, he would.
Billy tapped a key, then folded his arms. “I hate to see Richie go, you know? I’d follow him anywhere.”
“We have followed him anywhere, man. We’re still following.”
“Yeah, guess so. Damn,” Billy said, thudding his fist on the desk. “Almost had it.”
“Almost had what, sergeant?”
Kev closed his eyes for only a second before rocketing to his feet and snapping a salute. Beside him, Billy did the same. Colone
l Mendez eyed them both, his gaze flinty. The Colonel was imposing in his Army Combat uniform, even though his nose wasn’t quite even with Kev’s chin. At the moment, he looked about ten feet tall and angrier than a wet cat.
“You, sit down,” he barked at Billy. “And you, start talking right this instant or I’ll make you wish I had just put your balls in a vise by the time I’m done with you.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MATT DROPPED ANCHOR IN A narrow cove and headed below. Evie’s head was on the table and a soft snore escaped her. He flicked off the light over her head and pressed eject on the laptop. He put the CD back in the case and went over to rummage through the cabinets. When he found what he was looking for, he ripped off a long strip and pressed it to the case. Then he bent down and taped the CD beneath the cabinet and behind the sink, as far and as high as he could go to make it disappear. A glance at Evie told him she was still sleeping. He ripped off another piece of duct tape and secured the package.
It probably wasn’t necessary, but too many years as a covert operator wouldn’t allow him to do only what was necessary. He went the extra mile because he had to, because it was as ingrained in him by now as putting on his pants in the morning. There was something about doing this, something about helping Evie, that made him think, even if he never went into the field with HOT again, he’d be all right.
Of course Leavenworth was still hanging over his head, but he tried not to think too deeply about that prospect.
He returned to the desk and tapped a few keys on the laptop, wiping any record of the transmission to Kev. Then he took the box with the rest of the CDs and stashed them in a cabinet in the bedroom.
Evie stirred when he returned. Her hair was mussed, her cheek red where she’d been lying on her arm. She blinked. “Have we stopped?”
“We’re anchored. I assume you didn’t get any calls?”
She reached for her phone, checked the display. “No, nothing. What could’ve happened to Brianna? It’s been about five hours or so, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s three a.m.”
Evie pushed a hand through her hair, trying to straighten it. “No wonder I’m tired.” She looked as if she just remembered something. “Isn’t your sister’s wedding today?”
“Tomorrow, actually. We have time.”
She frowned. “I hope you’re right. If you miss it, she’ll hate me forever.”
“I’m not missing it. Neither are you.”
In spite of everything, she smiled. He loved the way her mouth lifted at the corners in a smile he liked to think was only for him. When he thought about her smiling at David West like that, or worse, thought of her naked with the guy, he wanted to punch something.
“I’d like to be there for Chris. She asked so many people in town, you know. She didn’t have to do that.”
“I want you to go with me.”
One eyebrow rose. “Are you asking me on a date, Matthew Girard?”
“I am. What do you say, want to go?”
“I’ll think about it.” She looked away, leaned back against the wall. Oddly, he felt disappointed.
“What happened to that twenty-four hour pass you were planning to give me? The one where I keep you in bed and don’t let you out until every last hour has passed?”
She sighed. “It was a nice thought, Matt, but maybe it’s best if we don’t explore this any further.”
He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t frigging believe she was blowing him off. And yet he should have expected it. Can’t have things both ways, dude. “Is this because of what I said earlier?”
“You said a lot of things earlier.”
“About the job coming first.” He didn’t know why he’d said it, considering he might not have a job.
She met his gaze then. Her expression was a mixture of sadness and resignation. “You didn’t say it, I did. You just agreed.” She sighed. “You broke my heart once before. I think I’d like to keep it intact this time.”
Pain twisted inside him. “I didn’t know I broke your heart.”
“You should have.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I should have. I was young and stupid.” She’d been his friend for so long—his best friend at a time when he needed her—and then they’d drifted apart as he’d gotten involved with his friends at Rochambeau High. He’d known, on a level he hadn’t been willing to admit, how she felt about him. And he’d been so dangerously close to feeling something similar that he’d pushed her out of his life as hard as he could.
“You said you’d missed me. I missed you too.” She sighed. “It almost feels like we’ve never been apart in some ways.”
“Butch and Sundance ride again.”
She laughed. “Yes, but apparently with real danger and mayhem this time.” She sobered. “But we’re adults now, and you’ve made it pretty clear that your job is your priority. So maybe we should keep being friends, now that we’ve found each other again, and leave it at that.”
He swallowed his disappointment. “All right.”
What else could he say? But he didn’t like it, didn’t like the thought of not kissing her silky skin again, of not tasting her and driving her crazy with his tongue on her most sensitive flesh. Of not losing himself inside her and forgetting who and where he was, even if only for a few moments. Because she meant something to him, and she made him feel something more than the emptiness he usually felt. He would never forget his guilt over Marco and Jim, but she made him feel like it was bearable somehow. Like there was something redeeming about him after all. She wasn’t obligated to care for him by family bonds—but she did anyway.
Goddamn it.
She reached for his hand, squeezed. “Thanks for understanding.”
But he didn’t understand, not really. He had a dark urge to haul her into the bedroom and thrust hard into her. To thrust until she recanted every word she’d just said. Until she begged him never to leave.
“I am leaving my job.” His throat was thick with the words. But the second they were out, he felt better somehow.
She looked confused. “Why? I thought you loved what you did.”
“I do. But I may not have a choice. Probably don’t have a choice. And not because of this, Evie.”
“Because of what happened when you were captured.”
He gave a brief nod. “It’s not by choice.”
He couldn’t believe he’d admitted that, but somehow it felt right telling her. She gazed up at him with big, sad eyes. He slid into the seat across from her and she reached for his hand. He let her take it and squeezed back when she squeezed in reassurance.
“Our last mission went wrong. I trusted someone I shouldn’t and we were led into an ambush. Two of my men died, and the rest of us spent a hellish ten days in captivity before we managed to get free. I don’t think any of us believed we were ever coming back.” He sucked in another breath. “I’ll probably be relieved next week. I have to return for a hearing, but I think it’s simply a formality. If I’m relieved, my military career is over. They’ll assign me to a desk for the rest of my commitment. If I’m lucky,” he added.
She frowned. “I’m sorry, Matt. I know you love your job, and I know you would never have done anything you thought would hurt your team or those you were sent to rescue.”
“They blame me. I can’t fault them for it. Kev was wary, my gut was telling me it was wrong, and my head wouldn’t listen.”
Surprise etched her features. “I don’t know how you can say they blame you. You told me earlier that what you’re doing to help me is against the rules, and yet it’s not just you. Without your team behind you, we’d have been in big trouble hours ago. They’ve helped us get this far, and they did it because you asked.”
She was right, and yet that’d been weighing on him too. “Kev’s following me down a path that will only lead to ruin if he’s caught. I hate asking him, and yet I have no choice.”
Evie’s smile was bittersweet. “You had a choice. But you’re just wired to a
ssist people who need you. You can’t help it.”
“Anyone but you and we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”
It was the truth. He felt responsible for her, and not just because of his stupid last act before he’d left town. He’d always felt responsible for her, from the moment she’d looked up at him with her freckles and pigtails and followed him wherever he led her. She’d trusted him and worshiped him and he’d loved her for it.
Maybe he still loved her for it. His insides twisted tight. She’d been the only person to ever take him for what he was, to see beneath the surface and adore him anyway.
But that was long ago, and you couldn’t love someone because of what you’d meant to each other when you were children. It didn’t work that way.
“Yes, you would.” Her faith in him was steadfast and it made him want to drop his head onto his arms and weep. She reached out and touched his temple, and he thought he would dissolve at that simple touch. “How’s your head?”
“Better. In fact,” he said, glancing at his watch to cover his emotional turmoil, “it’s time for another shot of Tylenol.”
“I’ll get it,” she said when he started to move. She pushed herself up and went over to the cabinet where the First Aid kit was located. She brought back the pills and a bottle of water from the fridge.
Matt shook two pills into his hand and cracked open the water, gulping both.
“Why don’t you lie down in the bedroom for a while? You could probably use a nap.”
He shook his head. “No can do. It won’t take the Kid long, and then we’ll need to make our next move.”
She looked concerned. “So lie down until then.”
He was adamant. “No. I’ll lean back here.” His eyes were heavy and gritty. He was accustomed to it in the field, yet he wasn’t necessarily accustomed to the soft cushioning of a three-hundred-thousand-dollar yacht beneath his ass while he waited for the order to go. It would be easy to doze. Too easy. He jerked himself out of that dreamlike state of pre-sleep and set the alarm on his phone for fifteen minutes. “Fifteen minutes and then we’ll decide what to do next if we haven’t heard back from my team.”
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