by Marcy Jacks
Cole had been seated next to Miles, who was seated next to Seth, who had Stefan on his other side with Micah beside him.
Micah had needed much help walking down and getting into his seat, but now he seemed to be eating the lion’s share between himself and his mate. Stefan seemed to think it was funny, not minding at all that an omega was actually eating more than he was.
Taking too much food used to be an offence with the vampires and to the other omegas who were forced to share their small rations with each other.
They looked happy as well. Micah didn’t appear miserable in his mating, and the child growing in his stomach was clearly getting a healthy amount of food.
Cole stole a glance at Evzen, who was on his other side. Neither man had spoken to each other since sitting, but Cole could feel the dragon’s eyes whenever Evzen looked at him.
Just as he could also feel his body heat and the touch of his fingers brushing over Cole’s.
Which was strange because no one was touching Cole. He was just remembering how his arm had burned and tingled from when Evzen had handed him the bucket and then taken it back from him, insisting on carrying it.
It had felt good, and that pleasure had scared the hell out of him.
Was that what Miles had spoken of when he talked about the pleasures of the mating heat? Something so good even Cole would want it? And Cole couldn’t imagine himself wanting anything when it came to the body.
Except for maybe Evzen.
Would Evzen want Cold to put his cock into his mouth? Cole had never liked doing that, but he stole another glance at Evzen’s body. He wore a shirt now, but Evzen knew what he looked like. He had scarring, but nothing grotesque, and he definitely wasn’t horribly overweight like some of the vampire masters. One man he’d had to service couldn’t even remove himself from his bed without the aid of his servants.
That hadn’t been pleasant.
Cole thought he would like this, however. Evzen was pleasing to look at, and it was nice when the man touched him, so those were two things down, but the rest was about how this would actually work.
Would Evzen be kind to him? Would he pretend to be kind now and then change after he had what he wanted? Those were the two main points of concern that Cole still held on to.
Evzen leaned to the side, his mouth coming close enough to Cole’s ear that he could feel the warm breath from the other man. “You’ve barely touched your meal.”
Cole jumped, and he looked down at his plate.
He hadn’t taken much, though Miles had insisted on adding more.
It was a small plate of pasta with a single bread roll and some shredded cheese over top. Cole didn’t know how he was supposed to eat it all, but maybe Evzen was just being helpful. He did have to actually start eating at some point, after all.
Cole dug his fork into his plate and lifted the food to his mouth. He looked back up at Evzen as he chewed then looked away, figuring it must appear strange to be looking at someone while he was chewing his food.
Evzen didn’t seem to mind, as he started eating as well.
“I’d like to get to know you,” he said softly.
Cole swallowed hard. He reached for his glass of water, making sure no one was noticing him as he did so.
No one appeared to be, which was good. So long as he could go unnoticed in a room full of people, then maybe he could do this. He might be all right.
“Seth has promised you protection,” Evzen said again. “I would promise that to you as well. I have no intention of taking you away from this clan.”
That got Cole’s attention. He looked back at the other man, frowning a little, wondering what he meant.
Evzen smiled softly at him. “You don’t say much, do you?”
Cole looked away. Heat climbed his face. “I don’t like being seen,” he said.
It was better to not be seen, to not be noticed.
“Hmm, well, I don’t know about making sure you go unseen, but if anyone ever…made you feel unsafe, then that’s something I could help you with.”
Cole shook his head. “It’s not as easy as that.”
He took another bite, if only just to stop himself from talking. He didn’t want to say anything more. He didn’t want to explain himself. He didn’t even know how he was supposed to explain it. It was something that barely made any sense even to him.
He seemed to be the only one in this house amongst all the omegas who still had these problems. He was the only one who hid under his bed every single time there was an attack, and instead of going out and helping the others, he stayed put until hours after the attack was over, until long after he could be sure that it was safe to come out.
It was the cowardly thing to do. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like himself for it, and he wished he could be different.
“All right,” Evzen said finally. “You don’t have to explain a thing to me, but I still want you to know this all the same.” The man leaned closer again, though not by much. He wasn’t in Cole’s personal space, but it felt as if he was.
In the best possible way, that was how it made him feel. The rush of heat, the pleasant shiver that rippled over his skin, the way all hairs on his body stood on edge, and how his groin tightened with a need he never thought he would want.
“I will protect you. As my mate, I am yours.”
Cole’s heart slammed heavily against his ribs. If he didn’t get control of himself quickly, he would draw attention to himself. He was going to let everyone at the table know he was just minutes away from a full-blown panic attack.
He didn’t want that. He didn’t want them staring at him, and he didn’t want to ruin their dinner when the two dragon clans were still trying to get to know each other.
“Hey, hey,” Evzen said, his hand coming forward beneath the table, gripping Cole’s knee.
The touch should have bothered him. It should have made him all but fly out of his skin and run away in a screaming panic.
Instead, it soothed. All the building prickles that had been picking up and pointing at him were smoothed away by the touch of this man’s powerful hand.
Cole could feel the warmth of his fingers beneath the material of the pants he wore. He could feel the strength and pleasure of it.
Pleasure of touch. Oh God, was this what Miles talked about?
Cole had run away from this when Evzen had said he’d wanted to get to know him better outside of Seth’s room, but this…
He could have pushed Evzen’s hand away. He could have risen from his seat and fled the dining room in a complete panic, but he didn’t. Cole chose to leave the man’s hand right where it was. He didn’t want to move Evzen’s hand because he wanted to determine how deep this rush of pleasure would go.
How far would this pleasure take him?
If Seth and Miles were in the same room, then at least Cole knew he was safe, but would he allow Evzen to touch him when the other two men weren’t around to protect him? Would he allow the dragon shifter to take his clothes off and touch him?
He thought about it while that brain-tingling pleasure continued to rush through his body, all of it stemming from that one heated spot.
His cock throbbed. Cole couldn’t believe it, but he was starting to get hard, painfully so.
He looked at Evzen, really looked at him. And then he looked at the man’s mouth.
He genuinely imagined what it would be like to let himself be kissed by the man. How would that feel? Would the pleasure increase? Would he like it even then? When he felt the man’s tongue against his own?
Just thinking of it made his mouth dry quickly, and suddenly, Cole had his answer.
He looked away from the man and reached for his glass again.
“Are you all right?”
Evzen removed his hand, which was a shame because he also took that pleasing warmth with him. Cole wanted more of that. He wanted to be touched again, and he didn’t want the man to hold back.
Miles had said this would happ
en. He said the mating heat would take him over in a way that he wouldn’t be able to think about the pain and suffering he’d gone through. He wouldn’t be able to think about anything other than the pleasure he was currently allowing himself to receive.
He wanted that. He wanted to be numb to his own suffering. He wanted to be able to lie down with another man, as was normal between lovers, and really be able to enjoy himself.
He didn’t want to be afraid anymore.
“Cole?”
Cole looked at the alpha. He really let himself look at him, and all he saw there was kindness. He didn’t know Evzen, and this could be a trick for all he knew. What did Cole know about the differences between a mating heat and just lust? He could be confusing the two, but it didn’t matter in that moment.
Cole wanted someone to make him forget what it was like to always be so anxious and afraid all the time.
“Would it be…pleasing to you, if I were to go to your room tonight?”
Evzen’s dark eyes flew wide, as if he honestly hadn’t expected Cole to say such a thing.
“Would you like me to take you there right now?”
“Now?” Cole tensed. He hadn’t thought the man would offer it now. He thought they could wait until at least after dinner, and then maybe Cole would help to clean up the table and throw away the dirty paper plates. He might even dust and vacuum the foyer because it was getting dirty.
Then he could clean up and meet the other man. That had seemed like the best thing to be doing.
“Or not,” Evzen said. “Trust me, I’m all open for whatever you want to do.”
Cole blinked. This was that thing that Miles had spoken of. The frustration of being told that he could make the decisions.
Cole almost wanted the other man to tell him what to do, what would be easier. That seemed like the best idea.
“I’ll come to see you at ten,” Cole said softly, turning away quickly from him. “I have, uh, chores to do until then.”
He didn’t have chores until that late, so it was a small lie, but he did want to clean himself up.
He knew that the vampires didn’t like having a pleasure slave coming to them filthy. They got offended.
Meanwhile they were allowed to be as filthy and stinking as they liked.
He would clean up before meeting with Evzen, and that would give him more time to get himself prepared for what was going to happen to him.
He could better talk himself through it and work up his courage to say no if Evzen wanted to do anything…unpleasant.
“Ten o’clock, I’ll see you then.”
That hand returned to his thigh. Cole didn’t tense up this time. He accepted it, his body releasing a small sigh, as though he’d been unhappy without that hand there to touch him.
He was making himself feel strange now, but at least he could better handle this.
Ten o’clock tonight. He could do it. He could do it.
* * * *
He couldn’t do this. What had he been thinking? This was the worst idea ever, and Cole had no idea what he was supposed to do.
He paced around his room. It was already nine-thirty. He’d done all of his chores, taking longer than he needed in order to get them done, and he’d made sure to have a nice long soak in a scented bath.
Then he’d showered the scent off him when he remembered he’d used the oils he used to use whenever he was getting ready to service one of Varrick’s guests.
If this was actually a mating, then he didn’t want his first encounter with this man to remind him of any of those previous times. He didn’t want to go to him smelling like all the vampires who had come before.
That had increased the amount of time it had taken him to get ready, and looking down at his fingers, they were wrinkly and bad looking. He rubbed them against his clothes.
The same clothes he’d worn to dinner. Should he have worn something new? Something fresh?
He didn’t know. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do and he wished someone was here to tell him what to do.
At least then he could relax. He could handle this so much better if there was just someone around who would show him the way. What would make him relax? And what would please the man who wanted him for a mate?
The man who already seemed to think they were mated.
And maybe they were because Cole also couldn’t seem to get his cock to relax for him.
For the first time in a long time, he had an erection. Not something he briefly woke up with in the morning, and not something that even happened to him in his sleep when there was a dream that stimulated him.
No, he was fully awake, and his dick was acting up. He glanced down, noting the way it pointed back up at him, making a strange-looking tent of his pants.
He’d tried cold water when he’d been in the shower, refusing to touch himself, but that had only provided a temporary fix. It wasn’t enough. He needed something to get rid of this problem.
The second problem he had was that the only way he could think of to solve the first involved going to Evzen’s room as quickly as possible, before anyone could even see him, and getting into the man’s room so he could do something about this.
That was what a mate was for, right? If he was serious, then he wouldn’t simply take his own pleasure and leave Cole to deal with this himself.
Right?
Cole groaned. He rubbed his hands up and down his face. Where was the courage he’d worked up at the dinner table? Why couldn’t he have asked Miles to help him with his chores so that he would at least have someone to talk to, someone who could tell him that this was the right decision to make and he didn’t have anything to worry about?
It was definitely a mistake for him to have worked alone. It left him with nothing but his thoughts, and now his anxiety was building up.
He went to the water pitcher on his nightstand. He poured himself a glass and drank.
He seemed to be able to control his coming panic attacks whenever he was doing something with his throat. Drinking or eating were the best things for him to be doing.
He finished then noticed the time. He had fifteen minutes to get upstairs.
He was going to go up there. He was going to have sex. He was going to let someone have sex with him, and he was going to prove to himself that it was all right to do so.
Evzen would see the scars on his arms and legs. He would see how skinny and unworthy Cole really was. How was he supposed to be the mate of a beautiful, muscular alpha dragon when he looked the way he did? It made no sense.
He could just stay in here. He could tell the other man that he was feeling sick and didn’t want to inconvenience him.
He could do all of those things, and then he was never going to learn what it was like to actually live his life.
He wasn’t going to know the thrill of taking a risk like this.
He wanted to take the risk. He wanted to prove to himself that he wasn’t yet broken.
Even though it hurt, even though he didn’t want to go, and even though he wanted to hide under his bed again, Cole sucked back a deep breath and left his bedroom.
Chapter Five
Evzen paced. Though the room he’d been given was a fine one in the same wing as the other alpha dragons who had come here before him, he kept searching around for something to clean, something to change, something to make this room seem like it was his.
He’d only thought of it after Cole had left the dinner table to help with the cleanup. Cole had seemed determined that Evzen would not help him. He’d even told Evzen to go away when Evzen had tried to pick up some of the dirty paper plates.
At least that proved he had a little more spunk than Evzen thought he did. It was something he could work with, but ever since then, Evzen had been in here, looking around and taking note of the furniture, the curtains, the carpet, and the expensive furnishings, desk, dressers, bed and even the TV stand with a full entertainment system.
Fuck. Goddamn, why didn’t he th
ink of this? What if this was one of the rooms where Cole had been abused? What if the dragons had brought him to this exact room and did this sick and fucked-up things to him when he didn’t want them to?
And he didn’t know if this was worse or not, but what if the omega was reminded of those horrifying times when he stepped through the door?
Maybe Evzen should have asked Seth if he could have rented a hotel room somewhere in town. He could have taken Cole to the city. Evzen didn’t have any land, but he had some money to his name. Some.
He could have gotten a suite, maybe something with a Jacuzzi and a view. He would have splurged on his mate.
No, instead he had to be stupid and not think about the fact that he was about to claim his mate for his own in one of the rooms where Cole had been—
A knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. It was a soft knock, but it could have been a hard bang for all it mattered.
Evzen flew to the door, yanking it open.
Cole tensed at the sudden way the door was pulled open in front of him.
Evzen had to relax. He had to make himself relax. “You came.”
Duh. Stupid thing to say.
Cole swallowed, nodding. “I thought about not coming, but then I couldn’t stop thinking about your hands, and I…” He trailed off, glancing down at himself.
And that was when Evzen noticed what the other man was trying to hide.
His hands were folded in front of him, over his waist, and now that Evzen took note of it, he couldn’t unsee it.
The bulge beneath Cole’s hands. The man was hard, and he was desperately trying to hide it.
Oh God, and now Evzen could smell him.
He smelled good. Good enough to eat.
Down, boy. He had to take this slow. Cole was going to be new to this.
Sort of. New in all the ways that mattered.
“Do you want to come in?” Evzen stepped out of the way, the dragon within him struggling not to grab Cole and throw the man over his shoulder, charging to the bed and simply taking what he wanted to take from him.
He could do it, too. It would be so easy. It might even scare the man, but with Cole’s past, there was no telling if the mating heat would kick in and he would suddenly be into it.