by Lang Leav
Who You Love
The life you always thought you wanted before you knew any different. The sea change you didn’t see coming, the sweeping vistas and cotton candy sunsets.
The meeting point between how you imagined it would be and how it has transpired. The willingness to take a chance on something that could take you somewhere new.
The dream you chose to give up on, or the one that you were coaxed into following.
Who you love and who loves you back determines so much in your life.
When I’m Happy
That’s the thing about happiness. It doesn’t require justification. When I’m happy, I’m happy. I don’t feel the need to write about it.
Writers & Poets
We live in a world where writing ages like wine. Sometimes it takes years or even centuries to mature.
But if history has shown us one thing, it is the merit of writers who spoke the language of the people; who have taken poetry out of the shadows and into the light.
Writers and poets who are ahead of their time.
They are the ones whose works will endure.
The Nature of Love
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this:
There are many things in life you can postpone, but love isn’t one of them.
Bloom
Someone once planted your name
like a seed in my heart.
Only now I’ve met you,
do I know what it means to bloom.
Transcript of Your Heart
If there is someone else for you now, then why do you linger here? We’ve said our goodbyes, but your eyes won’t let me go. I can see it on your face, everything you have ever felt for me. My name is still written there, a trail in permanent ink, a transcript of your heart.
Strings
Some people are made like the string of a kite, loose and free, like a bird riding the wind. Some people are made like the hard, brittle rope of a mountaineer, strong, steady, infallible. And then there are the ones who are like the strings of a violin, delicate and ethereal. Strung tight and taut, ready to snap. But when they sing, there is no other sound more haunting or beautiful.
Our Love
This is where our love is found,
in a strange little rhyme;
where in space the beat of our hearts resound,
while our bones lie in the ground.
Little fragments ground down with time,
where fingers once were intertwined,
and I wore your ring, and you wore mine.
To Love You
It feels bittersweet to love you, as though time has already run its ruinous path and everything good is over before it begins.
It feels perilous to love you, like a dust storm swallowing up the sky or a comet skimming the stratosphere.
But it is an honor to love you. I will love you for as long as I can.
Twice As Much
I have mourned you every day,
for every picture torn from my shelf.
Since the wind had carried you away,
I find I think of little else.
I have mourned the words we spoke,
the mouth you pressed into my back;
the autumn leaves that fell and fell—
and left a girl in winter black.
All these years—still I can’t forget,
the face my hands no longer touch.
And the wretched day you leave this world—
I will mourn you twice as much.
Love What You Love
Love what you love with reckless abandon.
Share the things that mirror your soul.
Let those who undermine you
shed light on their own self-doubt.
Glow with the pride of your assertions.
Anticipation
There is a stirring in my soul, a restless, wild anticipation. I am staring out into the horizon, as far as I can. I can’t see what’s beyond it, but I can feel it.
Be the One
You couldn’t be the one—the one to love her.
She dazzled you, but your eyes could never get used to the light. So you remained clothed in shadow, and ignored the hand that reached for you.
You ignored your own heart.
And that is why you couldn’t be the one.
She wasn’t just the moon; she was the whole sky, but you couldn’t see beyond the stratosphere.
Your souls loved each other as much as any two souls could possibly love—
but you couldn’t be the one.
Whole Again
I have moved so far away from you that I have become a myth; a lie you tell yourself each night. I am the one true thing you’ve held in the palm of your hand, the key to everything you wanted.
Your name smiles at me from a crumpled envelope, addressed to the past. Unsent and unseen. Inside I wrote you a story about the moon, how night after night the darkness carved at the pale curve of her body until she became half the woman she was.
There is a word that hurts my heart—one I don’t ever say out loud. Like the shadow that lingers in the light, I can’t separate myself from your memory. But there are some nights when I look up at the sky, and the moon is whole again.
No Longer Mine
It should be my right to mourn someone who has yet to leave this world but no longer wants to be part of mine.
Misunderstood
Today I feel small—looked down on and disregarded. My thoughts are of little importance. My words have no bearing on the weight of the world. I am tired of being taken for granted. If only I could get back a fraction of what I give. But my efforts go unnoticed, and my soul keeps wishing to be noticed, to be valued; to be understood.
To Dare
Spread your wings—now is the time,
to dare, to dream, to reach for the sky.
This is the moment you will soar;
if you want it now—you can have it all.
Others will look upon your grace,
and their bitter hearts will cry in spite;
the best parts of you—they’ll try to take,
to dim the brilliance of your light.
And as your tender courage wanes,
something whispers to you—wait!
Look them in the eye and say—not today,
I will not let you guide my fate.
This is not the day when you’ll concede,
you have more strength than you could know.
This is when you will—if you believe,
show them just how far you’ll go.
Here and Now
Here and now I love you,
for the moment you have my heart.
But you are not entitled to my future,
you have no ownership of my past.
Writer’s Block
Lately I have been wishing there was more time to write. That everything would stop spinning for just a moment so I could sit down and tap blissfully away. Like I used to.
Today I saw two strangers sitting side by side at a park bench, their fingers just inches from each other. Both were silent, staring straight ahead and neither seemed in any particular hurry to leave.
On my walk home, I wondered who they were and what destiny had in store for them. Will they remain strangers or become friends—perhaps even lovers?
Then a thought occurred to me. While I am trying to find time to write, while my words are gathering dust in some sort of cosmic inventory—life is giving me a story.
Ad Infinitum
The solution
is neither
further nor nearer.
Like the mirror
of a mirror
of a mirror.
For Yours
Y
ou were the one who taught her strength and humility in equal parts. You were the one who lifted her up, brought her down to her knees. And now here she is, the girl who has never had to ask for anyone’s love, asking for yours.
A Letter to My Love
Remember what we spoke about all those years ago. We said we’d run away and live in the South of France, just the two of us and the ocean. It hasn’t happened like how we pictured, but it is exactly how it was always meant to be.
You, me, and the sea.
You know, I’ve never been sentimental. I shy away from it in our day to day. But building this life with you has been the grandest adventure. It feels like I am living it simultaneously in the present and the far-off future, sifting through my memories. I am already nostalgic for what we have, even with you still here.
This is the happiest I have ever been. The most at peace with myself and all things that anchor me to this world. I have grown with our love, it is a place of shelter. My island of solace. With you, I have seen all my dreams come into fruition. Everything I want is here in this moment. All I ask now is for time with you, as much as we are allowed.
Closer to Me
It was long ago, yet you feel closer to me than yesterday, more hopeful than tomorrow.
You are as far and near as memory.
As distant as the sun,
as close as its light on my skin.
Every Feeling
There was a time when I felt everything there was to feel with you. From blinding rage to bitter jealousy; searing love to utter despair. And then, the worst one of all—sweet, irrational hope—like a hypnotic melody leading me to the edge of a cliff.
Here I am on the other side, the baptism of every human emotion. What happens after you feel everything there is to feel? Somehow, there is a sense of comfort in knowing nothing will ever hit me quite as hard again. Nothing will ever be as beautiful, but neither will anything hurt as much.
Love Poetry
What we once knew as conversation,
we now know as poetry.
When once we made love with our words,
we now make words with our love.
The Girl You Once Had
You put too much faith in my love for you, but, honey, I was stronger than anything you could have imagined. The biggest mistake you made was thinking I would stay exactly where you left me. Now I’ve gone so far, so fast, you’ll never get close enough to hurt me again. The girl you once had in the palm of your hand is now holding all the cards.
How Much Love
How much love is a person capable of giving? I thought I knew the answer until I met you.
One of Them
In any given day,
a million people
will skim their eyes
over my words.
Sometimes I wonder
if you’re one of them.
We the Poets
Where they destroy, we create;
where they criticize, we inspire.
That is why they are the critics,
and we are the poets.
How It Ends
Imagine if you had a moment with your past self. Revealed to them, your entire history with me, before our paths were set to cross.
Our whole love story mapped out, like a book, where neither of us can change the outcome.
If you had the choice, would you go through it again with me? Despite knowing how it ends, would you still want to love me?
Index
About Love
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Ad Infinitum
A Dream of Hope
After All
A Letter to My Love
All the Time
All This Love
A New Day
An Impossible Ideal
Anticipation
Anything for Love
A Wild Goose Chase
Back There Again
Back to Life
Be the One
Bloom
Borrowed Love
Broken
By the Sea
Call to Action
Closer to Me
Contentment
Crazy Love
Danger of Love
Darts on a Board
Every Feeling
Falling into You
For All Time
Forever on My Mind
For Yours
From a Dream
From Everyone
From You
Goddess
Have You?
Here and Now
High Tide
How It Ends
How Much Love
Index
Into Existence
Introduction
Keys to the Kingdom
Left Too Late
Letter by Letter
Love Hurts
Love Poetry
Love What You Love
Meant to Be
Memories Lost
Misunderstood
More to Me
Moving On
My Life
My Place in the Universe
New Beginnings
No Longer Mine
Once in Love
One of Them
Our Love
Over
Poetry and Prose
Pretense
Reclaiming the Sky
Revenge
Sandcastles
Sea of Strangers
September Love
Shelter
Shield You
Smoke & Mirrors
Strength
Strings
Take Back Your Power
The Fisherman
The Girl You Once Had
The Irony of Love
The Mermaid
The Nature of Love
The One Thing
The Things She Asked
Thirty-Three Locks
Thoughts on Letting Go
To Dare
To Know
To Love You
To Myself, Ten Years Ago
Too Far In
To Us
Transcript of Your Heart
Twice As Much
Two Worlds
We Never Broke Up
We the Poets
When I’m Happy
When It’s Over
Where It Hurts
Whole Again
Who You Love
Wishing Well
With Anyone Else
Witness
Writer’s Block
Writers & Poets
Writing
You Had Me Once
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my agent, Al Zuckerman; Samantha; and the team at Writers House for your encouragement and support.
To Kirsty, Patty, and the team at Andrews McMeel for taking a chance on poetry all those years ago. What an incredible journey it has been!
To Michael and Ollie for all the wonderful memories we’ve shared in our little house by the sea. I look forward to many more.
To the talented artist gg, thank you for lending your gorgeous work to the cover of this book.
To my beautiful readers—there are no words to describe how much you mean to me. Thank you a million times over.
About the Author
Lang Leav is an international bestselling author of four poetry and prose books. She is the winner of a Qantas Spirit of Youth Award, Churchill Fellowship, and Goodreads Choice Award. Her debut novel, Sad Girls, continues to top bestseller charts worldwide.
Lang has been featured in various publications, i
ncluding the Sydney Morning Herald, the Straits Times, the Guardian, and the New York Times. She currently resides in New Zealand with her partner and fellow author Michael Faudet.
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