by AJ Stern
“Please, Mom,” I begged her. “Please, please, oh pleeeeeeaaaaassssse???????”
She laughed, but looked worriedly at my dad.
“We’ll discuss it, but I can’t make any promises,” my dad said.
Mrs. Demir reached out and hugged my dad. “Yes, please discuss it!” she said. We told her we had to leave, but would come back before they left.
“Don’t forget to discuss Winston Churchill!” she called after us as we left.
When we got to the Ark, it was filled with a lot of equipment and technical-looking people. These were the people who were going to run the sound part of the concert. They were doing very interesting things with wires and big black boxes. Someone rolled a very big piano onto the stage. People rushed all around with folding chairs.
But the most incredible part was that everyone was wearing a walkie-talkie! I did not know that rock stars got to be around people who wore walkie-talkies! I could not believe what a great job they had. This made being a rock star even better! I wondered if the walkie-talkers had an office where they kept all the walkie-talkies. That would be a really amazing kind of office to work in.
A lot of different music stands were onstage, and Noah said the instruments would be there tomorrow for sound check. That’s a technical term for rock stars that means “Let’s check to see if the sound sounds good.”
My job that day was an easy one: I had to clean up around the Ark. I put all the costumes away and all the toys back in the toy bin. My parents helped the technical people unfold all those chairs. When we were all done and I thought we were going to go straight home, my parents surprisified me!
We were going to meet Elliott, his mom, Julie, and her boyfriend, George, for dinner. At a restaurant! Elliott and I love restaurants because they are extremely fancy and professional and we get to order things that are very special, like curly fries and orange soda.
During dinner, my father and George told us that they were in a band together in college. An actual, real-life rock band. They were very good, too, is what George said.
“Not good enough to be professional,” my dad said.
“Well,” George said, “I thought so.”
“That’s because you are tone-deaf,” my dad said, laughing.
“What’s tone-deaf?” I asked.
“That’s when you sing out of tune.”
“And that’s bad, right?” Elliott asked.
“Very,” my dad answered.
“Not if your band is named the Tone-Deafs,” I said.
Everyone laughed.
Because Elliott plays a lot of instruments, he has a lot of instruments in his house. After dinner, we went to Elliott’s house. My dad and George said they’d play some of their old songs for us.
My dad was right: They were really terrible. But some of their songs were fun and catchy, and at the end they taught a song to us and we all sang along and it was really fun.
Then my dad let us all be in the band. I strummed the ukulele, my mom played the tambourine, Elliott played his clarinet, and Julie played the harmonica.
It was really fun, especially because it was okay that we were so terrible-sounding. Soon it was later than everyone realized, and we had to go home. I went to get ready for bed, but before I went to sleep, I had to remind my parents about something very important.
“Don’t forget you are supposed to discuss taking Winston Churchill.”
“We haven’t forgotten,” my dad said.
“Good. That is all. Good night.”
“Good night, Mrs. Miller,” my mom said, and they both gave me sweet-dream kisses.
The next morning, Noah showed me the box where everything for Aimee Chapman’s green room was. He told me to set up and he’d come look at it soon. Then he left, and I took the S. Pellegrino bottles out of the box. Soon Elliott showed up with George right behind him, wheeling the big suitcase of supplies.
Elliott and I set up the green room the way Aimee Chapman’s rider said to. When we were done, Noah came and said it looked perfect. Then he turned out the light, shut the door, and told us we could do whatever we wanted until he needed us again. When he disappeared down the hall, we knew it was time to start our surprise. Noah was going to be so proud of us for thinking about decorating the green room! I might even get promoted!
We started to decorate the room. We filled it with all our toys. Then we stepped back and had a look. It looked good, but not perfect. We ran back into the main room of Noah’s Ark and looked around. That’s when I had a geniusal idea! We needed flowers and plants! We dragged one of the plant trees into the green room, and then Elliott brought in all the café-table flowers.
We took a good, long look at the beautiful work we’d done on the green room. We could hardly wait to hear Aimee Chapman tell us how much she loved what we did. Then she would add all these new things to her rider and ask for these exact decorations everywhere she went.
We turned out the lights, shut the door, and went into the theater to see if they were doing the sound check yet. A woman who was not Aimee Chapman was plunking piano keys. A man was plucking guitar strings and tapping on the microphone. He leaned over and said into it, “Microphone check, one, two, three.”
It was extremely excitifying. I would never forget those words for the rest of my life.
Microphone check, one, two, three!
I didn’t know where my parents were, but it was too exciting in there to look for them. Then the most amazing thing in the entire world happened: The man onstage, whose name was Jeff, who was playing his guitar and calling those magical words into the microphone, asked me and Elliott if we wanted to come up onstage. We could not believe our worldwide ears. Of course we wanted to go up onstage!
Elliott and I ran up the steps and stood next to him. He took the microphone out of its holder and spoke into it, asking me, “What’s your name?”
Jeff’s entire sentence filled up the whole Noah’s Ark theater.
“Mrs. Frankly B. Miller,” I said into the microphone. That filled up Noah’s Ark theater also. I got goose chills on my top skin.
“And yours?” he asked Elliott.
“Professor Elliott Stephenson,” Elliott said.
Then Jeff told me to sit down on a chair. He put the guitar on my lap and taught me how to strum it. I was a musician! Next, he brought Elliott to the drums, gave him two sticks, and taught him how to bang on them a little bit. I felt like a real-life rock star in a real-life band, just like Aimee Chapman. It was the best feeling I’d ever had in my entire worldwide life.
“Thank you, Frankly,” Jeff said, taking the guitar back from me.
I could hardly believe myself.
“You are very welcome, Jeff,” I told him in my most seriousal voice. When I looked out at the empty auditorium, I could see it filled up with a millionty people, cheering and clapping and calling my name. I couldn’t wait to be an actual, real-life rock star and have that feeling again and again as much as I wanted.
Elliott and I ran off the stage and found everyone in Noah’s office and told them about the amazing thing that had just happened.
Aimee Chapman would be there in about an hour, so we all went down the street to get sandwiches. Over sandwiches, we talked about which songs we wanted her to sing and whether she would get an encore. I thought she would get two encores, and Elliott thought she would get three. Elliott and I could hardly believe we were going to get to meet her.
Then the surprise of the world came when our parents gave both Elliott and me presents. They were the exact same size and shape. We decided we would open them at the same time. When we unwrapped them, we saw they were the same book with the words AUTOGRAPH BOOK across the front. WOW. We’d never had autograph books before. We’d never even gotten anyone’s autograph.
“Thank you!�
� we both said, hugging our parents.
“Aimee Chapman can be your very first autograph,” my mom told me.
“And mine, too!” Elliott said.
“And yours, too!” my mom said.
We went back to Noah’s Ark and changed into our fancy fund-raiser outfits. I was going to wear my most rock-starrish outfit: jeans, a white T-shirt, a very rock-star headband, and a scarf. Just like my hero, Aimee Chapman.
Then there was a big commotion and we went into the main part of Noah’s Ark and saw a man walking in, talking on the phone. He was talking very loudly, and I did not like him right away. We all scrunched up our faces at how loudly he was talking.
“I’m in Chester, New York. I don’t know. It’s in the middle of nowhere.”
Chester, New York, is not in the middle of nowhere. I did not appreciate that one bit.
“To save some rundown, little shack in the woods. It’s preposterous, but you know Aimee. She’s a do-gooder.”
This man was not a truth teller. Noah’s Ark was not a shack! Finally, he got off the phone and looked at us.
“Who are you?” he asked.
We looked at one another a little stumpified.
Then my dad took a step toward him and said, “Hi, I’m Dan Miller.”
“Great. Get me a coffee. Black. No sugar.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t actually work here,” my dad said.
Then the man turned to my mom and said, “Coffee. Black. No sugar.”
“I don’t work here, either,” my mom said.
That’s when I realized that making coffee was part of my job description!
“I’ll make your coffee,” I said. My parents looked at me, surprisified.
“Coffee. Black. No sugar,” he said.
“Okay,” I told him. “I’ll be right back.”
Even if you don’t like someone, you have to do your job. I went into the kitchen and found the coffeemaker. I couldn’t exactly remember the instructions. I knew I had to pour water and coffee into the coffeemaker and then press the on button. I scooped out the coffee, but wasn’t sure where to dump it. I decided to put it in the pitcher thing and filled it with water. Then I pressed the on button.
I went back to where the mean man was and said, “It shouldn’t take long.”
My dad politely excused himself and went toward the kitchen, and my mom and I played a game of jacks while we waited for Aimee Chapman to show up. Soon I could smell coffee. I couldn’t believe how good it smelled. I did it! I actually made coffee! I ran into the kitchen and my dad was standing next to the machine, pouring a cup of coffee.
“I can’t believe it worked!” I said.
“Actually, it didn’t. I made this. We’ll go over the instructions again at home.”
“Oh,” I said, disappointed.
“But you were close,” he said, smiling at me. That made me feel better.
We could hear the mean man yelling for his coffee. He was really not a nice person. I certainly hoped Aimee Chapman was nicer than him. Just then, we heard the mean man’s voice again, only this time it was much nicer.
“There she is!” he shouted. “Aimee, great to see you.”
My dad and I left the kitchen and saw my actual favorite rock star on this earth: Aimee Chapman. Noah came downstairs to meet her, and when he introduced me I got very shy-ish.
“I got your letter,” she told me.
“You did?”
“Yes, and I loved it. It convinced me that I should come help out. Thanks for sending it, Frankly,” Aimee Chapman said to me.
I nearly fell over with happiness. But I didn’t. I stayed standing up, because there was still a lot left to do.
Noah pointed Aimee Chapman toward the green room and went to check on the auditorium. Soon people started to show up, and there was a lot of excitement in the air. The seats were filling up fast. Soon there were no more seats left and people were standing. It was almost time to get Aimee.
Noah went to tell her she was going on in five minutes, but when he came back, his face was not a good color.
“She’s gone!” he said.
“What do you mean gone?” my mom asked.
“She’s not in the green room—which looks very different from the rider, by the way.” He said that last part looking at me.
I squinched up my face at that sentence.
“Did you look all over the place?”
“Not yet. Help me look.”
We all split up and looked absolutely everywhere. We checked every single room, but she was nowhere to be found. Not even in the bathroom. Her manager was outside yelling on his phone. Noah went to get him. That is when I got a very sinking feeling in my guts. What if she changed her mind and left? What were we going to do? I would be very responsible for all of it. Aimee Chapman was my idea in the first place. Also, I had a real-life job at the Ark, which meant I had to solve Ark problems!
I had to figure out what to do if we never found her. I would have to save the day. If I didn’t save the day, then people would think I wasn’t responsible. And if they thought that I wasn’t responsible, I’d never get another job again. And also, I would never be allowed to have a dog. Especially one named Winston Churchill.
Aimee’s manager came inside and tried calling her, but it just went straight to her voice mail. Noah was pacing back and forth worrying his brain off. Even her manager looked very nervous, indeed.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, and ran to the auditorium. Maybe she was there! The auditorium was completely overflowing with people. The technical instrument people were waiting on the side in their professional, black concert clothes. Music was playing over the loudspeaker, and everyone was so excitified, they could barely keep their brains inside their heads. But Aimee Chapman was not there.
And that is when I realized right then and there what I needed to do. Aimee Chapman had changed her mind and gone home. I was going to have to save the day.
I walked up the three little steps to the stage. I had the biggest moths and butterflies in my belly. I was about to be a rock star. I couldn’t believe how exciting and nervousing that felt. I walked to the center of the stage, and a big, hot spotlight shined on me. Everyone quieted down, which made me feel very important, indeed. When I looked out into the audience, everyone was dark, like paper cutout dolls. I couldn’t see anyone, and I had to hold my hand over my eyes like a visor. The microphone was very high up, and I bent it down as low as it would go.
“Hello, everyone,” I said into the microphone. My voice was so loud, it flooded the entire room.
“Hi!” everyone yelled back at me. Wow. I had the entire town of Chester’s attention. This was the best feeling in the entire worldwide of America.
“I have good news and bad news,” I said. This is a for instance of something my dad always says. He says to always start with the bad news. If the good news is second, then people will walk away happy!
“The bad news is that Aimee Chapman had to go home. I don’t know why, but she just did—” Before I could continue on to the good news, people started to get really upset. There was a lot of commotion. People were talking and making noises like they were very upset about this news. A couple of people walked out. I really did not like the bad part of this moment. I had to make the good part come right away.
“But the good news is that I am going to play for you,” I said into the microphone. “I know all of Aimee’s songs.”
But people were so loud that no one could even hear me.
I ran over to the guitar, but when I tried to pick it up, it was too heavy for me. So I sat down on a chair and laid the guitar on my lap.
I started to strum it, and the worst, most terrible sounds came out of the guitar. That’s when I thought I should start singing to drown out the
terrible noise of the guitar. So that’s what I started to do, but since I wasn’t singing in the microphone, no one could hear.
I decided to leave the guitar and go sing into the microphone so everyone could hear me.
I do not have the best voice in the entire world of America, but it’s not the worst voice, either. Apparently and nevertheless, the audience did not seem to love it.
But I kept going because I knew that I had to sing at least one entire song. Halfway through the song, the audience decided that they actually really loved me because they started clapping and whooping and standing up. I smiled really bigly and sang louder. Wow, being a rock star really was the best feeling in the world.
But then I heard something that hadn’t been there before—a guitar! I turned around and there, standing right off to the side, was Aimee Chapman! The guitar I had just been playing was strapped around her and she was playing perfectly. She walked over to the microphone where I was standing.
“You didn’t leave!” I said into the microphone.
“Of course I didn’t leave!” she said. “Why would I do that?”
“You weren’t in the green room,” I told her.
“Oh, it was too cluttered!” she said. “I went upstairs. To Noah’s office. Plus, there were flowers in the green room, and I’m very allergic.”
Whoops.
“I think that was my fault,” I admitted.
“We can talk about that later. First, don’t you think we should sing a song?” she asked me.
The entire audience went berserk, and I got the rock-star feeling I’d always dreamed about. Aimee lowered a microphone to my level and told me to sing along with her onstage!
She played the song I had been playing when she came onstage, but she was much better at it than I was. I didn’t sing as loud because I felt shy, but I did sing, and it was the most amazingish feeling. When the song was done, we got a standing ovation! I bowed and then I went into the audience and took my seat next to my parents, who gave me a look that said “we are sort of proud of you, but also you are in trouble.”