by Drew Sera
“Is she new to the lifestyle?” Jay asked me quietly.
“Somewhat, yes.” I wasn’t going to go into details but by saying that she was new, Jay would know not to push for really dark stuff. I told him no chains at all.
As we got going, I realized how much more difficult this was. It’s easy to say that I wanted some stuff to decorate the walls of our playroom, but then to actually go to a studio and allow someone to mold and pose me or direct me was much more difficult. I admired Sydney’s strength to be able to go do this on her own.
“Sydney, let’s get you kneeling and facing Colin and Anthony. You’re going to reach up and grab hold of the top of their pants or their crotches; whatever you feel comfortable with,” Jay said as he glanced down at his camera.
I liked the way this sounded. It would capture her submission but also the power that she has over Anthony and I. Various other shots were done with all three of us in each shot and then Jay did a series of shots with just Sydney and I, followed by a set of Anthony making out with Sydney against a stone wall. When the two of them connect and touch, it’s like fireworks going off. I knew we’d like those shots.
“For the last shots, let’s have the three of you on the bed. Just try to act natural. Touch, kiss, play. We’ll capture some loving, passionate shots. You three are great together.”
At first, it was hard to get into an intimate position. It was easier in the shots where Anthony and I were shown in a clearly dominate fashion. We were used to that with stuff from Irons, but the bed; that was intimate, soul, baring stuff that the three of us only shared with each other. I knew Anthony felt this way too and I could sense his unease. We kissed and touched Sydney all while the camera clicked. This was too personal right now considering everything that has happened. I gave a nod to Jay letting him know we were done. Jay respectfully exited the room giving us a few minutes to put ourselves back together in some privacy.
I held Sydney in my arms for a few minutes while Anthony stroked her back. Sydney said she enjoyed this photo shoot much better because we were with her. Jay was going to email us the photos and then we just needed to tell him which ones we wanted for our playroom. He’d frame them and then ship them to our home.
We went to have dinner and talked about the photos and what each of us thought our favorites would be. I noticed that Anthony was less talkative on our way to dinner and during dinner he didn’t say too much. He actively listened and did participate during our conversations, but he looked dead tired. There may have been a mix of something else going on in his head. I know that look and have become very familiar with it since Sydney was gone.
The late evening hours belonged to our sex drive. The three of us had been lounging on the couch watching movies when it started. She had been sitting on my lap, but Anthony was holding onto her hand. She shifted slightly on my lap and it eventually got me hard so I gave in and took her lips. She tasted so sweet and I continued while teasing her breasts under her top. Sexy hard little pebble points were aching to be touched and she reacted so well to my hands and lips. What made this even more sexy and intimate was that Anthony still held her hands in his. In a sense, she was restrained by him. I was very excited that she was able to go with this but I also realized we needed to treat it with caution. A trigger or flashback could occur at any time.
Anthony was turned on by the fact that she was putting her total trust literally in his hands. We took her upstairs and the three of us kneeled naked on the center of the bed. Anthony kneeled behind her and was kissing her back and neck while reaching around to fondle her breasts. I knelt in front of her and had her hands in mine while I kissed her. It was beyond sexy and exciting that she was doing so well even though she clearly didn’t have the use of her hands. She was bound to us.
While my tongue was seeking hers, I pushed Anthony’s shoulder so he’d lie down. I positioned Sydney to face Anthony and then took hold of her hands again.
“Look at him, baby.” I gave her a moment to really look at Anthony. “Anthony and I love you so much, Sydney.” I reminded her of her safe word and helped her lower down on his shaft. Once she was all the way down, I transferred her hands to his. Anthony looked off and I kept my eyes on him for a few moments. He closed his eyes and when they opened he looked better. Maybe it was the medicine messing with him.
I lubed Sydney’s ass and told her to relax. I pushed inside and shut my eyes to block everything else out but the wonderful feeling. I kept pushing until my balls pressed against her body. I was in all the way and it felt incredible. I slowly pumped into her while maintaining excellent control. Sydney was making a trance-like panting noise while I found myself doing the same after a few minutes. Anthony had let go of her hands and was holding her around her hips to help keep her motions under control and keep it at a nice pace. Sydney’s panting noises became quicker and closer together and I knew she was close.
“Baby, I’m going to fill your ass with cum.”
Her panting moans were encouraging me to not let up and I pressed forward until I felt the burn build and explode. I moaned my release setting Sydney off. Her moans were music to my ears and made me feel so fucking good. She was being more vocal than she had been with her orgasms which thrilled me. While she was coming down and her noises were subsiding, an odd noise came from Anthony. I glanced over Sydney’s shoulder at him, and saw something I had never, ever seen before with him during sex. His head was turned sideways, his eyes were tightly shut and he was frowning in obvious discomfort.
Sydney was leaning forward over him as she usually does, and he still held his hands on her hips. I think her body knew something wasn’t right with him and she looked up at him, concerned.
“Sir?”
“Up...I need up,” he said with urgency while his eyes were still closed.
I pulled slowly out of Sydney as she began to pull back and off of him. Anthony reached for her hands as I helped her off him.
“Got her, Col?”
He was still aware enough to make sure that I was tending to Sydney. I would of course, but needed to know what the hell was going on with him too. I pulled her into my arms and wrapped her up in a throw while Anthony sat up and was trying to take deep breaths.
“Anth, are you okay?” I asked him in a calm tone so Sydney wouldn’t be alarmed even though it was scaring me.
Anthony nodded but then reached for his stomach and then chest. I hate it when he does that. It makes me really nervous when he does that. Even though I know the chest rubbing is usually a nervous habit of his, I can’t help but worry. Suddenly he started breathing faster and looking around the room. He looked like he was having a panic attack. He stood and stumbled when he bent over and picked up his pajama pants and frantically began pulling them on. I set Sydney on the bed and started to get up but he held his hand out stopping me.
“Don’t, Col. Stay with Sydney, I just need some air.”
“Anthony, stay here with us. Sit down, please. Try to relax.”
He was leaning against the wall closest to the bathroom with his hands on his hips. He repeated again that he needed to step outside for some air. Fine, then I was going with him. I moved to get off the bed again and he whirled around and looked at me and then Sydney.
“Colin! Sydney, man.”
He walked back over to the bed and sat down, reaching for Sydney. He was almost frantic. I slowly moved to sit back on the bed and pulled Sydney back into my arms while looking at Anthony. He seemed to calm some. No one spoke but we had settled down and took up our usual positions on the bed. Sydney lay between us and she put her head on Anthony’s shoulder. I spooned behind Sydney and reached my arm around her waist. Instead of holding my hand on her hip or over her tummy, I took hold of Anthony’s waistband of his pajamas on his side. We had been sleeping naked, but if he felt better in the pajama pants, then so be it. And if he moved, I’d feel it.
Chapter 58
Saturday, February 22nd
Colin
I ro
lled over and looked at the clock. The sky was just starting to turn from its black form to a slightly lighter shade as dawn approached. Sydney was stirring and she reached over to take hold of Anthony, only he wasn’t in the bed. Fuck, how the fuck didn’t I notice him get up? Especially after last night, I really needed to do a better job with keeping an eye on him.
Sydney pushed herself upright and then picked up a note from his pillow. She read it and handed it to me and then pulled her knees up towards her chest. Her head was resting on the tops of her knees as I read Anthony’s note about how he couldn’t sleep and went for a walk.
I looked out the balcony doors and saw Anthony was sitting in the sand facing the ocean. His head is full of shit that he needs to get out, and I was going to go lend my ear.
“Baby, come here.” I pulled Sydney into my arms and pointed out towards the black ocean. “Anthony is right there. I’m going to go talk to him and I want you to stay here.” She nodded and pulled my pillow and Anthony’s close to her. “Baby, he loves you. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, Sir. I just wish he could sleep better and stay with us.”
“I know, baby. Me too. He will get there and we’ll help him.”
I kissed her, covered her up and pulled on some shorts and a tee shirt before heading out to see him. I didn’t want to startle him so I called his name from about ten yards away. He turned his head to the side but hadn’t turned all the way around. I looked down at him as I stood beside him. Fuck, he looked upset. I could see the seriousness of what he was trying to work out etched all over his face. His forehead was wrinkled and his eyes were glassy. I’d say there was a good chance he had been crying, though he’d never admit to it. His legs were bent at the knees and his arms were stretched out over them, but one of his hands was gripping the opposite wrist. Anthony looked truly troubled and was struggling with whatever was going on in his head.
I sat down beside him and he looked away. I knew that I needed to exercise patience with him if I was hoping for a conversation.
“How was your walk?”
He let out a short laugh and said this was as far as he made it. His tone told me that he was very close to unraveling. I had seen hints of this while Sydney was gone. I sat quietly beside him for a few minutes while trying to decide how to make him comfortable enough to talk to me. I took a deep breath while looking out over the waves.
“You must love sitting out here gazing at the ocean. You’ve been spending time out here each day since we arrived.”
“The water reminds me of her eyes. Sydney’s eyes are the deepest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I could sit here and look at her eyes for the rest of my life and be happy. I love swimming in them.”
I couldn’t help but smile at my deep, greeting card best friend. I knew what he meant. I could look in Sydney’s eyes for the rest of my life too and be perfectly happy. I looked out at the dark water as the waves crashed roughly against the sand.
“What happened last night, Anth?”
He sighed and shook his head looking down at the sand and his feet. I looked over at him when he exhaled loudly and a small noise escaped his mouth.
“I don’t know exactly. Everything felt so good and then she was pressing her weight down on me with some of yours. I tried to take a deep breath, but couldn’t. My head froze on me and suddenly I was back in my high-rise, face down on the floor. I couldn’t get it out of my head.”
Fuck. I rubbed my hand over my face. Perhaps some of the problem is that I’ve been in denial, just as he has. He and I need to talk. This has gone on long enough. We knew what had happened, but I wasn’t making things any better or easier for him and I needed to be.
“Anth, I’m sorry…” I started to say but he cut me off.
“It was my own fault, Col.” I heard him sniffle and then swear. “I fucking consented. All I told Victor to avoid was my face. It was my own fucking fault.”
His head dropped again to look down and was shaking his head. Since I was sitting so close to him, I could feel it when his body started to shake. When I looked up at him, I saw his struggle with trying to keep his emotions quiet. His jaw was tightly closed and hands were in balled up fists against his legs. I edged closer to him and wrapped my arm around him.
“Anth, let it out, man. You’ve got to let this shit out.”
And, he finally did. His sobs were not much more vocal, but I could hear him letting it out and not holding any tears back, finally. I hated what this was doing to him. I pulled him to lean against me and I rubbed his arm. He had to get this shit out.
“I consented to it!” He sobbed in a gut-wrenching tone that made my own eyes water.
“Anthony, you consented to a negotiated beating. Victor was out of line to twist your consent for anything else.”
Anthony obviously felt at fault. Yes, he consented, but Victor twisted it. I knew why Matt was angry. Anthony consumed heavy alcohol prior to negotiating with a Pro Sadist and it ended badly. He paid the price and had no leg to stand on. Matt was outraged that Anthony would put himself in that position. He took a few deep, steadying breaths and wiped his eyes on his shirt.
“Sorry, about that. It’s been kind of crushing me.”
“I know. It’s been crushing you for a while now.” We both laughed a quiet, short laugh and I squeezed his shoulder. I knew he still had a lot stored in there, but this was a start. “It’s going to be okay, Anth. We will get through this.”
He nodded and said that he knew we would get through it. He thanked me for being there and for being patient. He also apologized for spending so much of the early morning hours away from Sydney and I.
“Are you having sleep disturbances over it?”
“Yeah. Some nightmares, but I’ve been feeling guilty too. I stay awake some nights feeling guilty about not being able to fill Sydney up. I think I’m screwing up the sex part.”
“Is that night the reason why you aren’t coming?”
He nodded and looked away. “I haven’t been allowing myself to.”
I knew this thing with Victor was fucking with his head and was probably the culprit behind his issue with coming. As I sat there with him I thought back to the times we’ve had sex with Sydney since she came back. There is a certain point during sex where Anthony detaches from us. I needed to work on keeping him connected. Maybe that would help.
As the sun was peeking out of the water, I talked him into coming back inside with me.
“I’m afraid I’m going to lose you guys.”
I grabbed him by the arm, stopping him in his tracks on our way back up to the house.
“You are not going to lose Sydney and I. Get that fear out of your head, Anthony.”
We went back inside and went back to bed with Sydney. She opened her eyes long enough to see Anthony and to smile at him. He needed to see her smile at that moment.
“Bed was getting cold, Sirs,” she said lazily.
Sydney immediately cuddled up to Anthony and I snuggled up behind her and we fell back to sleep.
Chapter 59
Sunday, February 23rd
Sydney
I woke up to the sounds of seagulls and the scent of pancakes and coffee. Wait…if I was smelling pancakes and coffee, did that mean they were up and I was alone? Quickly, I opened my eyes and Anthony’s broad chest filled my vision. He was lying on his side, propped up on one of his elbows.
I smiled and let my eyes roam his body. His eyes were warm, just like his smile and his hair was playfully messy. My eyes continued to travel, avoiding the bruising on his neck, looking past the place where the bullet entered his body. His chest hair was starting to grow back in that area and I was glad because I loved running my hands through his chest hair. My eyes found the sexy indention near his hip that dove below the sheets. Smiling, I looked up at him.
“Looking for something special, sunshine?” Anthony asked me with his sexy, just woke up voice.
“Yes…you.”
I knew he probably though
t that I was only hoping to look at what was hidden under the sheets and blankets, but that wasn’t the case. The sight of him calms my heart, yet causes it to race. I longed just to see Anthony and Colin for nearly two weeks while I was with Paul. Sexual or not, I loved seeing him.
I reached out and tugged on his chest hair, then gently rubbed my hands over his muscles and down to his stomach. I kept my eyes on his and couldn’t help but notice that his face relaxed even more when I put my hand on his stomach. I know it calms him too, just like it calms me. I remembered the story he told me about being little and figuring out that he felt better when he held his hand over his stomach.
Anthony has been so busy taking care of me that I don’t think he’s getting what he needs. He’s been used to being in charge and calling the shots, but I was going to try something with him and hope that it goes ok. Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to communicate what would make him feel better, but I know that a warm hand on his stomach relaxes him.
His sexy smile was on display as I sat up and nudged his firm shoulders towards the mattress. He took my hint and let me push him down. Kneeling close to him, I sat back on my heels and gently placed both of my hands on his stomach. I rubbed lightly over his entire stomach and watched his face completely relax. He even closed his eyes and gave me the sweetest smile. I continued to stroke his skin and simply watched him. He needed this.
I looked at the mark on his chest from the bullet. He will always carry that. Very softly, I let my fingertips graze the scar on his side. My thumb slid over a field of faint, white marks that were mostly concealed by the light hair around his belly button. My eyes settled on his neck. Anthony’s body was a battle field too. Shaking all of the negative stuff from my mind, I lightly tickled one of his sides just to see if he was ticklish. Laughing lightly, his eyes opened and reached for my hands. He was ticklish!