by Drew Sera
I told Sydney about how close my family was to Matt’s and how Matt’s room became my room too once my folks and brother died.
“Was it hard to walk by what had been your home only to go into Matt’s when you’d get home from school?”
I nodded. It was so fucking hard. I’d play outside with Matt in the park across the street and I’d expect to see lights on in my home when lights came on in Matt’s.
“Gloria would come out on the porch and yell for Matt and I to come inside for dinner. I missed hearing my mom yell for me to come in. I missed all of it, but Gloria and Arthur were the next best thing. They were very good to me. They loved me and took care of me and welcomed me as their own into their family.”
A wave of sadness washed over me as I sat holding onto Sydney and staring back and forth at two homes that I was lucky enough to call home. I shouldn’t feel sad. I should be happy that I was lucky enough to belong to two great families. Sydney was given up by her mom and then adopted by assholes. Well, they weren’t assholes until they needed money. And Anthony didn’t have it any better. Far worse, in fact. Looking at the two of them helped me put it into perspective.
“I want to go see them.” I looked at Anthony hoping I didn't seem too desperate. “Can we go by their site?”
“Yeah, of course, Col. We can go wherever you want to go,” he said.
Anthony took a few pictures of me with Sydney with my home and Matt’s in the background and then a few other pictures of us looking out over the bay with the Golden Gate Bridge to the side. I remember all the times I sat here on that wall, angry about what happened on that icy highway when I was nine. I took Sydney by the hand and told them I couldn’t wait to introduce them to my mom and dad.
I was eager to take Sydney and Anthony to visit the grave site, but it was nearly lunchtime. We had already walked a lot this morning and even though I knew they both ate a good breakfast, neither of them had their full stamina back. I didn’t want either of them to run out of steam. I had to keep focus on Sydney and Anthony and their needs; they are what is important.
My suggestion to stop for lunch first was met with smiling faces. Good, they were hungry. I knew they were feeling okay as long as they had good appetites. We stopped in a restaurant that had table service and each of us ordered some sort of sandwich and a side. Sydney sat in the booth next to Anthony and they were full of questions about growing up here in the city. I enjoyed telling them about my youth over lunch.
As we left the restaurant, I noticed the drugstore across the street had a huge display of flowers outside. I should take my mom some. Anthony and Sydney let me take the lead as we stood in front of all the flower arrangements. While I scanned the flowers, I thought of Jeff.
“Anth, can you and Sydney pick out the flowers? I need to run inside for a minute?”
Anthony tried to figure out what I needed to go inside for, but I could tell he was just trusting me and going along with it. When he confirmed that they’d take care of the flowers, the look of fear began forming on her face. Shit. The three of us separating even for a few minutes in public often brought this look to her face. It deeply saddens me, but I know it’s part of the healing process and will get better. I was going to try to calm her, but Anthony was already on it.
“Sydney, he’s only going to be a few minutes. He probably has to pee. We don’t want him peeing on the street. It’ll get awkward and people will stare…”
Sydney laughed and shook her head at Anthony, but looked up at me. I could see the worry in her eyes as it blended with her attempt to not let her fear overtake her. I kissed her lips and put her hand in Anthony’s. It was my reminder to him not to let go of her hand. And he knew to hold onto her, but it made me feel better knowing that I reminded him.
I zipped into the store and found the toy aisle and scanned my options. The teddy bear was calling out to me until I saw the comic book action figures. This was perfect. I grabbed one and a bag of M&M’s at the checkout and hurried back outside. I scanned the flower stand where I left them and saw Sydney by herself holding a bouquet of flowers.
What the fuck?
Where was Anthony? He knew better than to leave her alone. I quickly began making my way to her while also scanning the flower section for Anthony. Sydney had made eye contact with me and waved at me, as if I hadn’t honed in on where she was. As I rounded the waist high display of flowers, Anthony came into view and I stopped in my tracks. He was crouched down, tying one of Sydney’s shoes.
Fuck. I exhaled quickly and willed myself to calm down. They were both okay and right there. The way Anthony looked at me when he stood up, told me that he noticed how on edge I was. I also felt like he looked a little hurt. Like I disappointed him by thinking that Sydney was left alone. I needed to get a grip. He and I lost her once, and we won’t ever lose her again.
“Colin, do you like these flowers?” Sydney asked me while she held the bouquet up.
I could only nod and grip the bag in my hand tighter. I was sorry for thinking Anthony left her alone because I knew better. He would die for her and protect her at all costs. As I wrapped my arm around her, I risked another glance at Anthony.
“Her shoelace came undone. I stepped on it and nearly knocked our little sub down.” Anthony smiled at me and thumped me on my shoulder. I mouthed to him that I was sorry.
“It’s ok, Col. She’s safe.” He nodded towards the bag. “What’d you get?”
I pulled out the M&M’s and handed them to Sydney and pulled out a Batman action figure. Sydney made a gasping noise, followed by “Whoa, neat!” I pulled it out of the package and moved the arms around before handing it to Sydney.
“I got it to put by Jeff’s marker.”
I was watching Sydney play with the cape, but looked up when Anthony’s hand clasped down on my shoulder.
“Batman was all they had?” he asked in a joking tone. “It’s almost fitting.”
As we drove to the cemetery, I pointed out various things to Sydney and Anthony. I parked the car by the funeral home and could feel my heart pounding. I hadn’t been back here since right before I went to college. Anthony walked over to the directory even though I started up the path.
“You remember where you’re going?” he shouted.
“Oh yes. I know this walk like the back of my hand, Anth. I came here often in my youth. Sometimes alone. Sometimes Gloria or Arthur would bring me. I always came on my birthday so my mom and dad could be with both of their sons.”
Anthony and Sydney walked behind me and let me rattle on as I talked the entire way to the markers I was familiar with. When I stopped walking, Anthony and Sydney did too. I took a few deep breaths and realized that I was not as put together as I felt I should be been.
“Give me a sec,” I said to them but didn’t turn around.
I urged my feet forward and crouched down between my parent’s large marker and my brother’s smaller one. I brushed leaves off both of the markers and smiled at them.
“There, now you don’t look so messy, Jeff. You always were the messy one.”
Why was this so fucking hard? I’ve done this so many times before. I reached in my jacket and pulled out the Batman action figure and leaned it against Jeff’s marker. “This will keep you company…just pretend this action figure is me...Hey, I found a picture of you, Matt and me in our baseball uniforms and took it to show everyone at Thanksgiving.” I found myself tracing the grooves of his name. It very easily could have been me that night. If I had been sitting behind my mom, my neck would have snapped like Jeff’s did. A chill ran over me and I looked at my parent’s stone. I set the flowers down leaning on the marker under my mom’s name. Fucking tears were threatening and everything was blurry. I said hello and told them that I missed them and bit down on my lip, trying to get a grip.
“Business is going really well…I built it from the ground up with the money you left me…I’m sorry I haven’t been back since before college…Matt is good. He lives in the same neigh
borhood as me. He’s a doctor and a trauma counselor…He’s married now and got himself a nice girl that he loves to pieces.” I took another few deep breaths. I started to talk about business again. Not because it was of any importance to them but because it was safe and easy for me. I stopped though and stared at the ground. I was doing exactly what Anthony does; avoiding things because it hurts. I took a deep breath and looked upward, hoping the tears would clear. “I brought two people with me for you to meet. They’re everything to me. I love them both with every fiber of my being. It’s hard to explain and kind of complicated. I won’t go into the details, but just remember what you always told Jeff and I; that as long as we’re happy, you’re happy…and I’m very happy, mom.
“Her name is Sydney. She’s quite a bit younger than me, but don’t worry, I’m being the gentleman you taught me to be. She used to work in the building where my company is. Sydney lives with me now and I take good care of her. The handsome guy next to her is Anthony. He’s been my best friend, business partner and family for over fifteen years now…Remember about a month ago, I prayed for you guys to watch over Anthony? That’s him. It was the night that we found Sydney, but Anthony went after the guy who abducted her. I was with Matt, tending to Sydney when I heard the gun in the distance…I was afraid. I knew that if there was anything you could do, that you would. Thank you for watching over them and keeping them around for me…I need them…Anthony is with Sydney and I…It’s complicated, I know, but I’m happy. I’ve never been this happy…Anyway,” I turned expecting to find Sydney and Anthony about ten yards behind me close to a tree I left them by, but they were right behind me maybe two feet away. I wiped my eyes and stood putting my arm around Sydney’s waist and my other arm around Anthony’s shoulders. “Mom, Dad, Jeff, this is Sydney and Anthony. I didn’t have any other news for you guys, I just wanted to introduce you to Sydney and Anthony. Mom, you told me never to love someone if I couldn’t love them with my whole heart. I haven’t been reckless or careless with love, but I know without a doubt that I love Sydney and Anthony with my whole heart. I miss you guys and love you.”
I turned and took hold of Sydney’s hand for us to start walking down the winding path. Her jacket was unzipped and I stopped to zip it up and wipe the tears from her eyes. Anthony said something that I didn’t quite catch at first, but when I turned to look at him, he had his hand on my parent’s marker.
“Don't worry, I will take care of both of them. I love them too and I give you my word.”
He walked over to Sydney and I and wrapped us both up in a hug. It felt good to be comforted like that. I knew that my life and Sydney’s life was in excellent hands with Anthony.
We walked back to the car and I drove them around San Francisco for the rest of the day. The city had tons to offer when it came to great food and we stopped at a steakhouse for dinner.
“Thank you, guys, for letting me take the time to visit my parents. I hadn’t visited them since before I left for college.”
“No problem, Col. From everything you’ve said about them, and Matt and his parents have said, your parents must have been rock star parents.” We laughed and as I tipped back my beer I saw the seriousness in Anthony’s statement by his facial expression. “Colin, they loved you. They put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table. You probably never hid from them. They taught you how to love and be a good person. They were rock star parents.”
“Thanks, Anth.”
He nodded and tossed the last piece of his dinner roll in his mouth and then gently kissed Sydney’s cheek. He was right. He was so fucking right. I had been lucky enough to have nine years with loving parents while Sydney and Anthony had none of that. Somehow though, despite the chips being stacked up against them, they were the strongest, most grounded people I knew.
We went back to the hotel and the city lights were shining in the distance with a haze around them. The fog was rolling in. Anthony and I both stopped in our tracks when we saw Sydney walk to the window and look out at the city.
“Remember the night of the Christmas party?” Anthony asked me quietly.
“Oh yes.” I walked over and took a seat on the couch preparing myself for a good show.
Chapter 64
Thursday, February 27th
Anthony
My mouth went dry and my cock stirred to life when I saw her lean on the glass of our hotel room. All I could think about was the night of the Christmas party. Sydney was going on about the damp weather here, but how neat the fog was. I took my jacket and long sleeve shirt off, pulled my undershirt out of my jeans and walked toward her. Colin had taken up a seat on the couch. He knew that I wanted to play and I knew he wouldn’t play tonight since he drank a beer with dinner. I know the beer doesn’t impair him at all, but he refuses to play with Sydney if he’s had something to drink.
“Sydney, turn around. I want to look at you,” I said to her.
She quickly turned and when she saw that I had that look in my eye, she smiled and looked down, ashamed of her blushing. I moved to her and tilted her head up to look at me. Fuck me, those blue eyes of hers just suck me in. I smiled when she smiled at me.
“No looking down, sunshine. Don’t be shy or feel bad about being turned on. I love the way red and pink dance on your cheeks. Both sets of cheeks.”
She laughed. Really laughed. It was a head back, mouth opened, hard laugh. I looked over at Colin when she laughed because he shares the same views as I do on her laugh. She put her hand over her stomach as she gathered herself. Her laugh is one of the sexiest sounds on earth and I make her expel that sound by doing nothing extraordinary; just being me. It’s the most amazing thing in the world. I make her happy.
“Oh, Anthony, Sir. You say some of the funniest things to me. Both sets of cheeks.” She reached out and put her hand on my chest. “I love you.”
I told her that I loved her too, kissed her hand and placed it back over my chest. I like the way I feel when she touches me. Lately I haven’t felt comfortable in my own skin, but I love the feeling I get when she touches me. She turned me on in ways that she doesn’t even understand. Ways that I don’t know how to explain, but she lights me up and I love it.
“Sunshine, I want to play.” I kissed her tiny neck and licked from the hollow of her throat up and over her chin until I found her sweet lips. “I'm going to push tonight. Do you trust me to not harm you and to take care of you afterwards?”
“Always,” she breathed against my cheek.
Music to my ears.
“Use red if I’ve pushed too hard,” I said and took a step back and looked at her. “I want you to take your clothes off that pretty body and then present yourself to me. I will be right back.”
I turned grabbing the ice bucket off the counter and headed out into the hallway with the sound of clothing being removed behind me. With the full ice bucket in hand, I grabbed a few towels from the bathroom on the way back to where our girl was at. I set the ice down and stopped in my tracks when my eyes fell upon her. I wasn’t expecting this to be emotional.
Sydney hasn’t gotten into her “present” position since her return. Colin and I have worried it’d be too much, too soon type of thing, but here she was, presenting herself to me, naked in a strange room in a strange city and she puts her well-being completely in my hands. I glanced at Colin and saw he was sitting on the edge of the couch staring at her too.
“Perfect, huh, Col?”
“Perfect.”
She knelt with the backs of her hands on her thighs, legs parted so I could see her beautiful pussy and her head was up with a smile on her face and sparkle in her eyes. Absolutely perfect.
I walked around her, looking at her skin. Coming around to stand in front of her, I cupped her cheek and told her that she was presenting herself beautifully. I pulled my tee shirt off and looked down at her.
“Eyes, Sydney.” No hesitation on her part and those deep blues settled on mine. “You’re going to suck me until I t
ell you to stop.” I only grew harder when I saw her pupils dilate and her lips part to allow that hot little pink tongue dart out to rest on her bottom lip. “You may begin.”
I held my breath as I waited to see how she was going to navigate my jeans and more importantly, my belt. She and I both have had belt issues but I knew that together and with a little work, we’d get through them. Before Paul abducted her, we had worked through some of the belt issue, but the abduction has caused a hiccup in our progress. We have a solid foundation of trust and with that anything is possible. Since she’s been back, Colin and I haven’t pushed her in the belt department.
She looked at the task in front of her and then moved her hands from her thighs and reached up to pull my zipper down. It was slightly uncomfortable since I had a hard on tightly squished behind the jeans.
“It’ll work better if you loosen the belt first and then unbutton the jeans, sweetheart.”
I knew she was apprehensive and was trying to find a way around having to touch the belt. I understood. Since Victor’s visit, I had been avoiding even wearing belts until our trip to California. I had moved past the belt issues I had as a kid and was moving forward from Victor. Sydney will get past them too. She just needs a little help and patience.
Her nostrils flared and I could see the fear in her eyes and saw that her mind was taking her away from the present. I took her hands in mine, “eyes, sunshine.” She looked up at me and an apology was lingering on her lips but I shook it off before she voiced it. “Who am I?”
“Master Anthony.”
“Good girl. Have I ever hurt you with a belt?”
“No, Sir.”
“I will never, ever use a belt on you. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir. Master Anthony, Sir.”
“Good girl. Now, let’s loosen this belt.”
She just needed to be grounded again as her mind was running away with itself. I guided her hand to my buckle and held my hand with hers as she pulled the leather the opposite way of the metal bar and tugged it out of the way. Proud of her accomplishment, she smiled up at me and I rewarded her with a “good girl” praise while I stroked her cheek with my thumb.