by C. C. Gibbs
‘No, no … ah … I’m not sure.’
There was a small silence.
‘Is it for a boy or a girl?’ the young lady asked because clearly the gorgeous rock star in her shop didn’t have a clue what he wanted. Dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket so supple it looked like silk, with his dark, ruffled hair curling softly over his jacket collar and his long-fingered hands flexing slightly, he was seriously doable.
‘The baby’s … not …’ He took a small breath.
‘Not born yet?’
He nodded.
‘Something for a newborn then.’
Dominic blew out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. ‘Exactly. That’s what I need. No blue or pink. Something neutral.’
‘White is always nice,’ the pretty blonde said, knowing she was posting this on Facebook as soon as he left the shop. ‘This way, sir.’ Lord, she wished she dared take his picture because her friends would all be green with jealousy that she’d breathed the same air as him.
Dominic followed her to a rack on the wall where tiny little garments hung on tiny little hangers. As she took them out one by one and held them up, he said yes or no – mostly yes – or asked a question that made it plain he knew next to nothing about newborns. He bought everything she had that wasn’t blue or pink, gave her a company credit card that didn’t help her at all in terms of his identity or even in terms of the company name. She’d never heard of Green Infinity Industries. As for his signature, no one could possibly decipher it.
‘I need everything boxed and wrapped – ribbons and that sort of thing. Not individually; a few larger boxes perhaps. Someone will pick them up this afternoon. Thank you very much,’ he said with a smile. ‘You’ve been a great help.’
A really dazzling smile, she thought with a sigh, watching him from behind the counter until he slid into the back seat of the swanky black car.
Dominic briefly considered buying maternity clothes but wasn’t quite up to entering that arena, feeling slightly intimidated for the first time in his life. Not that he wouldn’t do it, if that’s what Katherine wanted. He was in full accommodation mode.
Which reminded him. Flowers. Was that too trite? Too clichéd? Maybe something small, delicate, sweetly scented. What was that fragrance that reminded him of Katherine? Did she wear perfume? Jesus, why hadn’t he paid attention?
In the end, the young woman in the flower shop near his home suggested lily of the valley with tiny white roses, the small bouquet tied with a white silk ribbon. He carried it to Katherine’s flat, let himself in, chatted with his staff who were there cleaning and doing dishes and laundry, placed the simple crystal vase on her bedside table, set a small sealed envelope beside it and, stepping back, smiled.
Fuck, it felt good just to be here again.
Strange how happiness could be so simple.
*
When Katherine walked into the flat after work, she wasn’t surprised to see the pile of packages on the foyer table, on the chair, two larger ones on the floor. Beautifully wrapped packages with white and yellow bows. Or she wasn’t very surprised. What she had to admit, though – and that was slightly more difficult – was that it pleased her. She almost immediately called herself to task; Dominic just wanted something he couldn’t have. She was a challenge for him.
But when she walked into her bedroom to change into something comfortable, she saw the small bouquet on the bedside table and felt her stomach do a little flip-flop. Had he been here? As she approached the bed, she saw the note and, picking it up, sat on the bed. Peeling the seal open, she pulled out the small card and read the short message.
I’ll try to be a good father.
I’ll try really hard.
All my Love,
Dominic
Tears slid down her cheeks. She thought of his bleak, unhappy childhood where neither parent cared and her heart ached for him, for this promise for his child, for the poignant sadness in that hope. And all her resentments melted away when they shouldn’t have. When she should have known better. When the thousand issues that still confronted them couldn’t be exorcised by hope alone. Falling back on the bed, she shut her eyes and let her mind go blank.
Everything was too complicated, the situation a total mess, any solution still fraught with difficulty.
She was too tired to deal with it now.
Then, as if on cue, or perhaps on cue, since Dominic had told Melanie when to call, Kate’s phone rang. The one on the bedside table. The number no one ever called.
Stretching for the phone, thinking it must be a mistake, Kate’s hello was tentative.
‘Is this a bad time for you? Were you sleeping? This is Melanie.’
Kate shoved herself into a sitting position against the headboard. ‘No, I just came home from work. I was just resting for a minute.’
‘How are you?’
‘Fine,’ Kate said cautiously.
‘Don’t hang up on me now, but Dominic asked me to call you. He said you might hang up.’
‘I’m too tired to make that decision.’
Melanie laughed. ‘Good. Then all you have to do is listen. Dominic told me about your good news. He’s thrilled and I never thought I’d see him happy about having a baby. But he’s worried that you won’t forgive him … for everything that’s happened. So he asked me for help when he never does, when he never asked me for help – not even when … well, you know about all that. He’d come home from those ghastly sessions and I’d say, ‘Do you want me to hold you?’ and he’d always say no. Then he’d turn on the TV and watch cartoons. So I’d sit and watch cartoons with him. I think he liked that but he never asked. So you see, when Dominic is willing to ask me for help, he’s … well … desperate. So if you could see it in your heart to talk to him, I’d be pleased and he’d be over the moon, I know.’
Kate’s heart had started racing as Melanie talked, but she carefully said, ‘I can’t picture Dominic over the moon about anything.’
‘Believe me.’ Melanie’s voice was subdued. ‘Dominic’s …’ She took a breath. ‘I’ve never heard him like this before – at a loss. Alarmed enough to turn to me.’
‘You know he’s married?’ Kate said, a betraying little quiver in her voice.
‘I also know it’s only temporary,’ Melanie said quickly. ‘Dominic didn’t give me the details, but Matt knows and he told me Dominic had no choice.’
‘Are you sure?’ Kate wished she hadn’t sounded so wretchedly hopeful.
‘I’m positive. Absolutely positive. Matt wouldn’t lie to me. And the child isn’t Dominic’s. Matt was emphatic.’
‘Wow,’ Kate breathed softly, wondering how crazy she was to feel like an overgrown child who’d had all her birthday and Christmas wishes come true at once.
‘I expect Dominic hasn’t mentioned that he deals with some very strange and occasionally dangerous individuals. I’ve been aware of it for a long time. Apparently this situation was more untenable than usual. You might ask Dominic about it, although I’m not sure he’ll tell you. Matt’s that way. He doesn’t like me to worry. He runs into problems from time to time. When large sums of money are involved, some men resort to unsavoury practices.’
‘Jeez, even there?’
‘You’d be surprised. But, truthfully, I don’t really want to know.’ Melanie laughed softly. ‘There are times when I don’t mind being taken care of.’
‘I know what you mean. Dominic’s been in full nurturing mode.’
‘Well, good. You can use all the nurturing you can get right now. Are you having morning sickness?’
Kate sighed. ‘Unfortunately.’
‘I might be able to help.’
The women talked for another few minutes. Melanie told Kate to call her with any questions about her pregnancy or anything else and ended by saying, ‘Don’t be too hard on Dominic. He loves you. He actually said it. I almost fainted.’
CHAPTER 31
Kate heard the knock on the door.
And when she opened the door, she saw the boyish smile she only rarely saw, the one she suspected all the high-school or surfing girls had seen: his eyes creased with pleasure, the lazy curve of his mouth pure temptation.
‘Hi.’ He looked at her differently now, always searching for new clues in the mystery that was unfolding, although only the most subtle changes had occurred in her body – well hidden tonight in a pair of Mrs Hawthorne’s kitten-print cotton pyjamas.
‘Hi,’ Kate said, breathless at the sight of him, like the first time she’d seen him in Palo Alto. Even more so tonight when he looked incredibly young, wearing jeans and a faded blue T-shirt with a peace sign. When she was half in love again despite everything.
‘May I come in?’ He dipped his head; his hair fell forward and he pushed it back behind his ears with his thumbs. ‘How are you feeling?’ His glance drifted to her stomach.
‘Good.’ She held out her hand because she wanted to more than anything. ‘I seem to feel good at night.’ His large hand closed around hers with the gentleness that always surprised her in such a large man and she felt a small, familiar warmth stir her senses.
‘Thanks for inviting me in.’ His blue gaze was clear, open, his voice nakedly grateful as he stepped into the foyer and shut the door.
‘Thanks for all those.’ Kate gestured at the pile of wrapped packages.
‘You should open them.’ He smiled. ‘It was a virgin shopping trip for me.’
‘I will later.’
He didn’t know if the word later was good or bad. Whether it meant later when he was here or later after he was gone. ‘I want to apologize for anything and everything, for all I did and didn’t do,’ he said quietly. ‘For the things I said that hurt you.’
She was briefly silenced by the haunted look in his eyes. ‘I said my share of hurtful things too. Come on,’ she said, tugging on his hand and moving down the hallway. ‘Talk to me.’
He’d never been so happy to hear those words. In the past, if a woman had said she wanted to talk, he’d always headed for the door. ‘Thanks,’ he said again, really meaning it.
Kate gave him a sideways glance as they made their way to the living room. ‘You might change your mind about that. I’m going to ask you a lot of questions.’
‘That’s OK.’
‘Really?’ Her surprise showed.
‘Look, baby, I’m just so happy you’re letting me in, I don’t care what you do. I’ve been in hell the past few months. Like the last time you were gone. So read me the Riot Act, I don’t care. I’m just going to say yes to everything you want.’
She stopped, looked up at him, her brows slightly drawn. ‘You’re freaking me out a little.’
He smiled. ‘Too polite?’
‘Just a fucking little bit.’
A hint of amusement flickered in his eyes. ‘Maybe I’ll piss you off later when I tell you about our wedding plans.’
‘Oh, yeah,’ she said, her nostrils flaring. ‘That’ll do it. Maybe I don’t want to marry you.’
‘I’d really like you to, but just a second.’ He dropped her hand, walked back to the packages and pulled out a small shopping bag tied with a large white bow and a yellow- ribboned package. Coming back, he took her hand again, smiled with tantalizing languor, and softly said, ‘Where would you like to talk?’
‘Don’t look at me like that.’ She frowned. ‘This is a serious discussion.’
‘The reception room then?’ He was on his very best behaviour.
‘I call it a living room.’
‘Perfect,’ he said with a diplomatic smile. ‘Do I get to touch you or is it separate chairs?’
‘Separate chairs.’ It was too easy to fall under his spell, to respond to that soft voice and warm smile, when she was teetering on the edge already. And she was trying not to think of all the pleasure he offered with such prodigal opulence. ‘You have a lot of explaining to do,’ she said quickly, as if her treacherous senses needed a reminder of her vast suffering these past months.
‘Ask anything. Really.’ Except for Gora. Openness has its limits.
But once they were seated across from each other, Dominic leaned forward, his gaze direct and animated. ‘Tell me about the baby first. I promise I’ll answer your questions afterwards.’ He held out his hand, twitched his fingers and smiled. ‘I’m a bundle of nerves and excitement.’
Seeing him like that with a smile lighting up his face stirred up a cloud of butterflies in her stomach. But loving him wasn’t enough. She couldn’t forget that; every woman he’d ever smiled at wanted him. ‘I can’t tell you anything because I don’t know anything,’ she said evenly, but her heart rate was rising despite her silent lecture. ‘This is going to be a steep learning curve for me.’
‘Let me help you. Let me do whatever you need done.’ He forced himself to stay seated when he wanted to get up, lift her into his arms and hold her for a decade and more. ‘You shouldn’t have to do anything but sleep and eat and stay healthy. I’ll do the rest.’
‘Please, Dominic.’ She swallowed hard. ‘Slow down. We have to back up a little first.’
He took a small breath. ‘OK.’
‘Melanie called,’ she began, watching him take that small breath, seeing the almost invisible flinch.
‘I know.’
‘She told me that Matt knows why you married.’
‘He does.’ These would have to be minimum answers.
‘But you can’t tell me.’ She clasped her hands in her lap and went very still. ‘Or you don’t want to.’
‘No, it’s just that I’d rather you didn’t know.’ This was the scariest conversation of his life. He couldn’t lose her again. ‘Mainly,’ he said, picking his words with great care, ‘I don’t want you frightened.’
‘Maybe I’m not that easily frightened.’
He set his hands on his knees, studied them for a moment before he looked up. ‘I think you would be. Please, it’s almost over. I know how clichéd Trust me on this sounds.’ He shrugged in the faintest shift of one shoulder. ‘But I wish you would in this instance.’
‘Melanie said you sometimes deal with unsavoury characters, that Matt does too. Is that what this is about?’
He nodded. ‘In your business, you see corruption too. Criminals, thieves, cons, large and small. Matt and I deal with corruption at a personal level, not once or twice removed, not from behind a computer screen. Since you can’t help me on this, you’d only worry unnecessarily.’ He leaned back, stretched out his legs, stared at his sandalled feet for a moment. ‘Now that you’re pregnant,’ he said quietly, ‘I want to protect you even more. In two more weeks this all goes away. Talk to Melanie. She’ll tell you to leave this kind of bullshit to Matt and me.’
‘Two weeks? For sure?’ She didn’t want to feel such relief or want him with such helpless longing. But then her insurgent psyche spoke up. He wants to protect you, you idiot. How can that be bad? She felt better, like chivalry might still exist, like maybe Dominic had some Prince Charming in him after all. ‘After two weeks, then things go back to normal?’
His gaze was teasing. ‘As normal as they are between you and me.’ He smiled. ‘You’re a real handful, baby, and I mean it in the nicest way.’
‘Then maybe you should think twice if I’m a handful. Maybe you should find someone more amenable. I’m sure the line of willing candidates is long. You don’t have to marry me just because I’m having your baby.’
As if, he thought. ‘That sounds like I’d better get down on my knees.’
It was her turn to smile. ‘Tempting.’
‘Hey. I’m not talking about sex, Katherine. I’m serious about this marriage.’ And coming out of his chair, he picked up the small shopping bag and package, closed the distance between them, sank slowly to one knee and put the bag in her lap. ‘Open it,’ he said. ‘Please?’ he quickly added because he’d spoken a shade too blun
tly and her mouth had started to purse. ‘Sorry. Really. Give me a break. I’ve never done this before.’
She blew out a breath. ‘Me either.’
For a few moments only the sound of ribbons sliding and paper crinkling broke the silence.
Kate looked inside the bag and went motionless.
Why did he suddenly feel as though he was standing in front of a firing squad. ‘Take your pick, baby,’ he said, velvet soft, as if too loud a sound would startle her from her trance. ‘Or take them all. I didn’t know what you’d like.’
She still didn’t move.
Christ, he could hear the bolts sliding back on the rifles. ‘Don’t break my heart, baby,’ he whispered.
The look in his eyes almost made her cry. This was a man who never asked anyone for anything, who had faced every adversity alone.
She put her hand in the bag, saw his shoulders relax, saw him slowly smile and knew what loving someone meant. It meant taking away a young boy’s hurt, laughing at a strong man’s smile, closing your eyes when he touched you because you were melting inside. Or having him line up little boxes on your pyjama-clad legs as you take them out and hand them to him. She smiled faintly. But even loving him with all her heart, she couldn’t stop herself from saying, ‘So much, Dominic.’
‘Not really,’ he replied casually. ‘I left most of them at home.’
‘Oh, God, Dominic.’
‘Come on, baby. If I have to learn to be more open with you, you have to learn to deal with my money. It’s yours too. OK?’ He stared at her, gave her a small smile. ‘OK?’
She took a breath, swallowed hard. ‘OK.’
‘See, it’s not so easy to change, is it?’ he murmured, beginning to open the ring boxes. ‘But we’re going to do it. Come on, baby.’ He touched her bottom lip gently. ‘We can do anything, you and I.’
She nodded, slid her fingers over his hand. ‘It must be the baby,’ she whispered. ‘I feel like crying every second.’
‘Cry all you want. I’ll buy a tissue company. You’ll never run out.’
She laughed.
‘Hey, I mean it. Melanie cried all through her pregnancies. But pick out a ring first, then I’ll show you my love letter, then you can cry.’