FIRESIDE
Rockefeller Center
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New York, NY 10020
Copyright © 2004 by Allison DuBois
All rights reserved,
including the right of reproduction
in whole or in part in any form.
Published by arrangement with Smarter Than They Think, Inc.
FIRESIDE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
The Library of Congress has catalogued the hardcover edition as follows:
DuBois, Allison.
Don’t kiss them good-bye / Allison DuBois.
p. cm.
“A Fireside book.”
1. DuBois, Allison. 2. Mediums—United States—Biography. I. Title.
BF1283.D82 A3 2005
133.9’1’092 B—dc22 2005040064
ISBN-13: 978-0-7432-8649-7
ISBN-10: 0-7432-8649-9
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This book is dedicated to fathers. I have recently realized just how precious fathers can be. Four extraordinary men I was fortunate enough to have known passed away in 2002:
My father, Mike Gomez, whom I adored and will miss until the day I die. He wasn’t a typical dad. He started giving me facials at the age of nine so that I could avoid wrinkles when I was older. Nice try, Dad! You had to love him. He lived to be sixty-seven, but inside, he was just a tenacious child. I know that he will dance among the stars forever with all the beautiful ladies. Nobody laughed or lived quite like my dad.
My good friend Randy passed away seven weeks after my dad. He was the Seafood King and my favorite skeptic. Randy made everything into an event for all to enjoy. Like my dad, he died of a heart attack, except he was only forty-nine years old. He leaves the world with three amazing kids and a wife with whom he shared his vibrant spirit.
My sarcastically funny great-uncle Don, a former sheriff and a pilot in World War II. He made it to eighty and took his final flight that January.
Russ Serzen, a former New York Yankee and all-around great dad. I only knew him briefly but he left unexpectedly from Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (a fatal brain disease). He left a lasting impression on me. He was to be admired.
All of these men lived life large and made no apologies for who they were. They were all inspirations, and they were all dads.
Acknowledgments
Joe: You are the man who has held my hand through all the bumps in the night. You have my undying adoration. Thank you for understanding me.
My girls: You have enabled me to understand why parents can’t let go when they lose a child. I will be with you always.
Mom: Thank you for some of my best childhood memories. I love you.
Dad: I love you. Thank you for teaching me to smile in the face of adversity
Grandpa Joe: Even though you are on the other side, we are…connected. You are one of the most honorable men ever.
Uncle Joe and Aunt Linda: Thank you for always making me feel I belong.
Grandma Jenee: Thank you for sharing my gift and helping make me who I am. I love you.
Mary Frances: You comfort me. Thank you for gracing my life.
Jim: Thank you for staying with us and for your guidance.
Wendy: Thank you for being my sounding board. You’re a good friend.
Stacey: Thank you for your friendship and the many times you made me laugh. When I couldn’t pick myself up you gave me your strength. You are family.
Christina: You are one of a kind and will remain a friend of mine for life. Thank you for knowing me as “Allison” and all of the goofy moments that we have shared.
Christy Orders, my friend who helped me in the writing of my book:You remind me how little attention I paid in college English. Your contribution is infinite. Thank you! You are an exceptional woman.
Trevor: I loved you before you were ever born.
Kelsey: I’ve never met a human being with such presence. You physically knocked me over when you stood beside me. You’re an extraordinary man with many wonderful gifts.
Susy: You’re an amazing teacher. Walk with me always.
Little Michael:Remember you are always a part of us. I love you!
My brother Michael:You mean the world to me.
Shari: You helped raise me. Thank you. Cheers!
Domini: I miss you. Don’t forget to visit me regularly.
Laurie Campbell: The medium that other mediums consult. Thank you for raising the bar and for being my friend. Your dad is very proud!
Charlie and Susie Shaughnessy: Thank you for your valuable words of wisdom. You are two special people. If I can ever be of service to you, just say the word.
Jerry Conser:You not only helped me in the writing of my book, you were the only person who knew there was something different about me as a child. You are a special man, and I thank you.
Glenn Gordon Caron: Nobody does it better. To sum your talent up in one word would be impossible. You’re that good. I can never thank you enough for capturing me.
Gary Hart:Thank you for remembering me. I’ll always remember you.
Patricia: You’re an enigma! Thank you for never waivering from who you are.
“Chief”: I will always look up to you. A legal genius and good-looking—how did you manage that? Hee-hee!
Patty: You are the woman I had hoped to grow up to be. You are so good at putting those bad guys away. You are one of my closest friends. Thanks for being the maverick that you are.
Connie: You’re the best, never to be underestimated. Thank you for your guidance.
Dr. Julie Beischel: You are an extraordinary scientist unafraid of the possibilities. Thank you.
Bert Sass:Thank you for taking me seriously.
Jim Manley: Keep breaking those glass ceilings.
Missing Children:We will never stop looking for you…ever.
Maggie, Carol, Susan, Sylvia, Maddy, Rami, Suzy, Barb: You are all special.
Grammnet: Thank you for all your hard work.
Steve Stark: My admiration for you is a drop in the bucket.
Chris Maul: You will grow into the best in the business.
Julie Mondimore: Congrats on your baby boy. He is blessed to have you as a mother.
Paramount: Thank you for being the best!
Jennifer Solari: Your dad is truly proud of his little girl.
NBC: You are the network I wanted the most. Thank you to everyone for being top-notch.
Cathryn Boxberger: You are a woman of many facets. Thank you for being exceptional.
Jeff Zucker: I am honored to know you and your talent.
Kevin Riley: Thank you for appreciating me and being a great man of vision.
Chris Conti: Drive carefully! Thank you for seeing me for who I am. You are unforgettable.
Simon & Schuster: You have my gratitude for caring so much.
Nancy Hancock: You are not only a phenomenal woman, you are the one who found me.
Ellen Silberman: Genius! Thank you for working your magic.
A special thank-you to all the people mentioned in my book. You have helped me to grow.
My guides: Thank you for never steering me wrong and for sharing my mischievous sense of humor.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Introduction
1. My Way
2. A Little Girl Meets the Other Side
3. Angel on My Shoulder
4. Missing
5. Kindergarten Mediums
6. Hormones and Teen Psychics
7. Empathy
8. Painful Living, Peaceful Good-byes
9. Little Things
> 10. Gifted
11. Do You Really Want to Know?
12. If You Never Die
13. Once in a Lifetime
14. Baby Boy
15. Loving a Medium
16. Science and the Other Side
Foreword
Linda G. Russek, Ph.D.,
Heart Science Foundation Laboratory
and Center for Family Love and Health,
Tucson, Arizona
Allison DuBois is a medium extraordinaire. She connects to the other side with care, poise, presence, and love. The love in this book is palpable. Allison’s love of family and friends, her love for her husband and his love and support for her, as well as her unconditional love for her children complete a circle of energy that adds to her focus and enhances her ability to perform at her very best. The readings she shares in her book demonstrate her innate ability to give specific information to the people she reads, her “sitters,” regarding their lost loved ones. She provides this evidence of their continuing connection with both clarity and heart.
Allison’s treasury of stories covers some of the mediumship readings she has done for dear friends as well as clients, but they are more than mere stories about Allison’s gift. They speak of the special energy relationships that are formed during Allison’s readings with her sitters. Mediums offer a heartfelt affirmation of the continuation of love as a bridge from here to there and back again. When this occurs, a profound healing has the opportunity to take place. Allison’s gift offers healing to the sitters by providing them with reassurance that their loved ones are still with them. She offers the possibility of healing to the spirits by allowing their messages to be heard. Allison sets herself apart in the world of mediums by the manner with which she delivers her message. Allison is one of a select few mediums who seems instinctively aware that the messages she shares can be emotionally overwhelming and that her gift comes with the responsibility of compassion. I know that this is why Allison is motivated to donate her readings for causes, like the support group Parents of Murdered Children, reading forty people in two and half hours and offering peace to parents. At her book signing in Tucson, Arizona, as countless people approached Allison, pictures of lost loved ones in hand, it became abundantly clear why she must be true to her gift and extend such intense energy through her readings. Allison believes that as she heals others, she heals herself.
Allison dedicated Don’t Kiss Them Good-Bye to dads. I had no idea that when my father passed in 1990 that he would join forces with me in pursuing the research questions I deal with today. Could science prove that there is an individual consciousness that survives death and that this consciousness continues to live and love and evolve consciously? Was Dad still with us, as well as there? I was a skeptic but not a devout one. I had experiences after my dad’s death I couldn’t explain. My whole family did. I was the psychologist. I tried on different diagnoses to give myself, but none seemed to fit. My attention was riveted to the unrelenting mantra of “What if?” I was determined to get the scientific answer to this question and others; let’s hope we all get to enjoy at least some of these answers in our lifetime.
As cofounder and codirector of the Human Energy Systems Laboratory (1996–2001) and currently as president and director of the Heart Science Foundation Laboratory, we are proud that Allison and others like her are continuing to join us to explore the cutting edge where biofield science, energy healing, mediumship, psychology, spirituality, modern physics, and cardiology meet. Allison, in her role as a gifted research medium, has already contributed four years of her life to being studied in laboratory experiments hoping to shed some light on the art and science of mediumship and what life after death research has the opportunity to teach us about who we really are and where our own capabilities as consciousness beings may be headed. Hopefully her contribution will one day help the younger generations of mediums to be better understood and embraced.
Allison and I share the need to understand life after death more fully and to provide some meaningful data to consider for those still undecided. With many experiments now under our belts, and tighter and tighter experiments being designed and significant results obtained, it has been an amazing journey that is evolving our understanding of what really is possible and what can be achieved when beliefs are suspended and we explore the unknown together without ego and without fear. Allison Dubois, and the other well-known mediums who we have studied, have shown us their courage and grit and chose to take the road less traveled for themselves and then with us. We are all blessed by their pursuit of truth, excellence and generosity.
LINDA G. RUSSEK is a clinical psychologist in private practice specializing in heart-centered psychotherapy and energy medicine in Tucson, Arizona. She was cofounder and codirector of the Human Energy Systems Laboratory and cofacilitator of energy medicine in Dr. Andrew Weil’s program in integrative medicine at the University of Arizona. She is currently president and director of the Heart Science Foundation and its Center for Family Love and Health. She is also clinical assistant professor of medicine in the department of medicine at the University of Arizona. She received her M.A. from Columbia University and her Ph.D. from United States International University in 1978. For twenty years she was director of the Harvard Mastery of Stress Follow-up Study. Her frontier transpersonal research on the question of whether there is survival of consciousness after death and universal living memories has led to two television documentaries, Life After Life and Life Beyond Death, and two groundbreaking books. She is the coauthor of The Living Energy Universe and her collaborative mediumship research is featured in the Afterlife Experiments.
Introduction
For those of you familiar with the hit television series Medium you probably already know that it’s based on my real experiences. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, I encourage you to tune in and explore life after death. Don’t Kiss Them Good-bye elaborates on my life minus the great television writers. It is my way of sharing with you how I’m affected by being a medium. Perhaps you are intrigued by my being able to see and feel events that not all people can. Perhaps learning about mediums will raise questions for you about your own life. Maybe you’re one of many who knows your loved ones are still around and you want to strengthen your connections with them. I invite you to join me on this adventure through my life so that you can better understand how the events in my life have shaped who I am. I will give you a glimpse of what life can be after death. I also will talk to you about how to stay connected to those who matter to you most. May this book inspire you as so many have inspired me.
In this book, I share my own childhood experiences in order to connect and relate to young mediums who have questions and doubts about their gifts. I hope that my experiences can help show how a child with the gift might feel or view things. I also hope it illustrates how we, as people who love the gifted young, can help them to understand and embrace their abilities. Figuring out our gifts in life is part of our journey to becoming enlightened human beings. I want the people reading my book to have real insight into the life of a person with special abilities. I want you to better understand where psychics and mediums come from and what kinds of potential we have. Being able to relate to or think about the unknown is half the battle of expanding your spiritual beliefs. Having the opportunity to experience it personally is the other half.
About Me
I am a medium and profiler. This means I can predict future events, I can get into a person’s mind, I can detect health problems in people, and I can communicate with the dead. Yes, I see dead people.
I have often wished that someone would come up with a better word than “psychic” to describe people like me. Between all the con artists out there and the gypsy and witch stereotypes, the word has been forever tainted. Call it what you want; I have what I refer to as the gift.
I was brought into this world in the usual way on January 24, 1972, in Phoenix, Arizona. I’m old enough to have learned my craft and young
enough to challenge it. I have one older brother, Michael, who teased me often. My parents divorced when I was a baby, but I grew up knowing they both loved me.
Even when I was little I knew that I wasn’t a typical kid. Besides my encounter with my great-grandpa after his funeral (which I discuss in the chapter “A Little Girl Meets the Other Side”), there were many other significant signs of things to come.
I identified with characters who had special gifts. Whether it was Tabitha on Bewitchedor Tia in Escape to Witch Mountain, I knew they were different, like me. I was sure they could relate to my feelings of being an oddity, misunderstood by adults. As I was careful about what information I shared with people, I understood why the characters on TV or in the movies hid their abilities.
My identification with these characters went beyond a child’s imagination and the desire to be Wonder Woman or Superman. When I was around ten years old, I was told repeatedly (by those I have come to know as my guides) that I was unique. They told me that when I was older I would affect people in a profound way. It was hard then for me to imagine that I could do something that important someday.
I received visits from my guides on and off throughout my childhood and teenage years. I wasn’t sure who those voices were, but I knew the source was good and that it was coming from upstairs. I could feel the energy of the visitor and, although I was not frightened, I was afraid that I would not be able to live up to their expectations of me.
I couldn’t help but think Why me? I look average, and my parents are divorced. I found church boring. My mom made me go with her every Sunday and I resented it. I preferred to talk to heaven personally when I was alone. I felt very connected to a higher power and I was sensitive to others’ feelings about it. But it seemed that all the adults at church sang about one thing and then practiced another. It didn’t make sense to me, but if I mentioned this I was scolded.
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