Pets: Do They Live On?
Recently I had a personal dilemma. My old cat, Sinbad, was sick and didn’t look well. I like to think of myself as a compassionate person and I have always tried to do the right thing in life. Sinbad was ill and physically deteriorating. But I had known him for eleven years! My mom had found him ripped apart by coyotes and had nursed him back to health. He was a young yet full-grown cat then, and we weren’t quite sure how old he was—probably somewhere between thirteen and sixteen.
Sinbad had survived an attack by coyotes. Why should I cause his demise? I could feel that Sinbad was suffering, but I didn’t want to take away his remaining days. I knew that if I took him to the vet I wouldn’t walk out with him in my arms. He loved to lounge in the grass in our front yard and he enjoyed basking in the sunshine. I deal with the other side on a daily basis and know it to be a kind and beautiful place, but I loved my cat and wasn’t ready to lose him. What would he want me to do?
I feared making the wrong decision. He was a family member. It was a Friday night and I decided to talk to my guides. I couldn’t make a decision like this without help. Some people don’t see the significance of pets, but I do. Sinbad was important. I asked my guides what I should do and I received some feedback, but nothing earth-shattering. I became frustrated and said to my guides, “You make it possible for me to give other people clear answers to their problems. I can deliver messages and give peace of mind to others, so why not to myself? I need something special, something magical.”
There’s nothing like a young medium throwing a temper tantrum at the other side. After hours of inner reflection I fell asleep, tossing and turning. That night I was given exactly what I had asked for. It came in the form of an amazing dream. (Anyone who knows me knows that I rarely dream at all.) At the time I was not aware that it was a dream because it seemed so real:
My friend Domini was alive and we were in her apartment. I was looking at my scrapbooks and I noticed that everything was cleaner than usual in Domini’s apartment. She walked around the corner, coming toward me. She looked younger than I was, even though I knew her to be two years older. I had always been the baby in our group of friends. Domini had her hair pulled back into a fluffy blond ponytail. Her childlike blue eyes contained sparks of gold light and she looked flawless. In came Dominic. He walked past her, and they brushed shoulders but neither one flinched. Dominic walked through the apartment and into another room, closing the door.
Meanwhile, Domini was in the living room playing with a baby, but I wasn’t sure whose. I was tired and decided to go home, so I collected my scrapbooks as I headed for the door. Domini said, “Ali! Wait!” She gestured for me to come back. I walked over to her and set my books down on the table. Domini began thumbing through the pages of my books and every now and then she would look at me and smile contently. I told her I had to go and walked out the door, but now instead of being in the hallway, I was in the lobby of a vet’s office. I turned around to ask Domini what was going on. She smiled and gently nodded her head toward me.
I snapped out of my sleep and sat up in bed. My first reaction was to call Domini and tell her I’d had a dream about her, but then I remembered that she had died three months earlier. I had asked my guides for an incredible sign. The one that I was given had many special meanings to me. Out of the many personally significant events in my dream, two messages really stood out. First, Domini was letting me know that she still functions around Dominic and is still with him. Before she died, Domini told me that she was certain she would be able to contact me from the other side. She also said it comforted her to know she would be able to reach out to those she loved.
By showing me the vet’s office, Domini was making me feel that Sinbad would be all right, that taking him to the vet was the compassionate thing to do for him. I knew Domini was telling me that she would take care of him. Shortly after my dream, we took Sinbad to the vet to be put down. The vet told us that he had intestinal cancer and that there was nothing they could do for him. We loved him enough to let him go. Although I’d known that Sinbad was going to pass away that year, it didn’t hurt any less just because I knew ahead of time.
Ironically, our new cat came from Domini. As her illness had progressed, she could no longer care for some kittens she had, so I had brought one home to my kids. We named our kitten Caesar. We still have him, and my family treats him like a little king. He is a breath of fresh air. I love it that Caesar is full of life, as Domini was. The only thing about him I don’t like is his tendency to pounce on my head in the middle of the night and ruffle my hair with his paws. This I cannot get used to. But it seems right that we have one of Domini’s cats. I have no doubt that she is caring for Sinbad on the other side, even though he might be a little mellow for Domini’s high-energy personality.
Pets have been significant factors in many readings. They are part of our lives and many people consider theirs to be family members. Although I knew that cats and dogs crossed over, I wasn’t aware that birds could come through from the other side until I encountered one very small family member during a reading.
The client was a very energetic, comical woman who had recently lost someone, but she didn’t say whom. I sat with her for a minute and immediately saw a clear picture of a woman with dyed hair wearing a Hawaiian muumuu and lei. I had a hard time wiping the smile off my face, because the woman was extremely amusing. I told my client that the woman was a mother figure and I asked whether she either was going to Hawaii or had come from there.
My client gasped. “We were going to Hawaii together, and my mother-in-law died before our trip.” Obviously, my client was moved by her mother-in-law’s acknowledgment of the much anticipated trip.
Then I saw something that I had not seen before. A bird was perched on the mother-in-law’s finger. She seemed quite fond of it, so I asked, “Did she have a bird? Because she’s showing me one on her finger.”
“Yes,” she replied. “She had two birds, Ike and Tina. Tina died around the time my mother-in-law passed.”
I had never before witnessed a pet other than a cat, dog or horse, but now I had seen a bird. This was just further confirmation for my client, which truly connected her with her mother-in-law on the other side.
Chapter 13
Once in a Lifetime
When I approached Diane about including her reading in my book, she said she’d be honored. But actually I am the one who is honored, to have met such a resilient, charming woman. Diane hopes that her story will provide comfort to others who face similar challenges. This chapter might also give insight to those of you who have never had a reading. Diane’s story will give you an idea of what can occur when one is visiting with the other side.
Diane was a light-eyed, free-spirited young woman who easily made friends. Jim was a vibrant, loving, good-looking young guy. They met in high school in 1968. She was fifteen and he was seventeen. They parted ways when Jim went into the service, but they were reunited a few years later and married within a month. They were happy together and embraced their new family.
In the 1970s, five years and two months into their wedded bliss, their time together was cut short.
Fast forward to 2001, when I met her. Diane showed up for a group session hoping to hear from someone special on the other side. I stepped forward and hugged her; we then took our seats to begin the session. When Diane’s turn came, she asked if I saw anyone with her. I told her I saw a man who looked to be from the early 1970s, with a mustache but no beard. He was saying something about his hair being somehow significant to him. It was shorter on the sides than in the back. He was wearing tight jeans and had a cute butt. He was highly attractive, with a stunning smile. He was tall, thin, and broad-shouldered, and he was showing me an acoustic guitar.
Diane said, “That’s my husband, Jim. He had a mustache and no beard because he wasn’t able to grow a beard.” Diane seemed amused by that.
I said, “He died of head trauma at the hands of another
person.” Diane confirmed this and added that Jim had died in the 1970s.
“He keeps showing me a smoke-filled room, like a bar.” Diane shared that Jim had indeed met his killers in a bar.
“He’s telling me that there was a woman involved in his murder. He says he didn’t die right away. He also says that the people responsible were convicted of a lesser charge but that they are still paying for what they did to him.” Diane said that indeed there was a woman involved in Jim’s murder, the people responsible were convicted of a lesser charge, and Jim had not died right away.
Jim then told me to tell Diane that he was sorry. Diane said she understood everything and not to be sorry. I told her that Jim said he always knew she was a smart woman, and that Jim was sharing with me that he had known in advance it was his time to go. Diane responded that Jim had always said he thought he would die before thirty, and that he was twenty-six when he passed. Often people have a sense of when their life will draw to a close.
While being interviewed for this book, Diane divulged the events leading up to Jim’s death. I am sharing the details so that young people realize that we have to be careful about whom we trust. People can change their tune in an instant. I hope that Jim’s story can make people more aware of their personal safety.
Diane was glad to share her story because it helps to talk about what happened to her husband. There are always loved ones left in the aftermath of such selfish and violent acts like the one causing Jim’s death. The survivors need closure and remembrance of those they’ve lost.
This is my way of memorializing Jim for the good person he was. Jim is now gone, and one day his killers will have to answer for what they’ve done. Although I believe in a loving God, I also believe in a just God. The acts of violent criminals are always remembered in the end.
The people who killed Jim were slight acquaintances, but he trusted them because it was in his character to trust. People who would never hurt others usually assume that everyone values human life in the same way. Unfortunately, they don’t.
Jim got into a car with a woman and two men he had met that night for the first time at the bar; they went to see if a mutual acquaintance was home, but he wasn’t. They were headed back to the bar when a dispute erupted between the passengers. The driver pulled the car over one block from the bar, slamming on his brakes so hard that the noise roused a married couple in a nearby house from their sleep. The witnesses saw Jim and the driver exit the vehicle. The driver karate- kicked Jim in the head and knocked him to the ground. The female then joined in the assault by kicking Jim in the head repeatedly with her platform shoes.
A second male attacker exited the vehicle and also kicked Jim. He then grabbed the fender of the vehicle for leverage while jumping on Jim’s already injured head. The original male attacker then pulled the second male off Jim and they took off in their car. One of the neighbors who witnessed the attack ran to Jim’s aid and held him while waiting for the paramedics to come. Jim’s only words to the woman were “Where is my wife?”
Jim regained consciousness in the hospital, where he identified his attackers (They were arrested.) Jim also told Diane to call her mother so that he could talk to her. Jim was very close to Diane’s mother and thought of her as his own mom. He called her up and weakly said, “Mom, I’m coming home.” Whatever he meant by that, he died within two weeks. Diane was certain that Jim knew he wasn’t going to make it.
While I was interviewing Diane for my book, she shared with me that three days before we met, Jim had made himself known to her through a dream. Sometimes it’s easier for spirits to reach us in our dreams because our defenses are down when we sleep.
In our group session, I said to Diane that Jim had come to her before in a dream; this served as validation for her. In her dream Jim put his arms around Diane and held her, saying “I’ve waited a long time for this.”
To clarify Diane’s interpretation of this statement, I’ll preface it with a brief explanation. Prior to our reading, Diane had contacted a show featuring a medium; she wanted to attend, hoping for closure on her husband’s death. Her kids had checked the phone messages and apparently had lost the call-back information left by the show. Diane was disappointed at missing the opportunity. A coworker had told her about my group sessions; the rest is history.
Diane felt that Jim had repeatedly tried to bring her to a third party (a medium) to receive confirmation of his presence. She said she was certain that visiting a medium was what she was supposed to do. She understood Jim’s statement to mean that he’d been waiting a long time for her to receive validation and closure.
During Diane’s reading, I had given her a message from Jim. She did not share with me what it meant until much later, when interviewed for this book. I had told her that Jim said there was a dark-haired man whom he didn’t trust. Jim said to tell her, “He hasn’t changed, so don’t be fooled.”
Diane said this was what convinced her beyond a doubt that Jim had come through to her. She said that her husband was a nice guy who trusted absolutely everybody, with the exception of one relative; Jim was so leery of this man that he wasn’t permitted in their home.
This relative came to see him in the hospital after the assault. As soon as he left the hospital room, Jim grabbed Diane’s collar, pulled Diane down to him and whispered in her ear, “Don’t trust him, he hasn’t changed, so don’t be fooled.” Jim had given me the words that meant the world to Diane. There were only three people who knew of this episode: Jim, Diane, and her mother. Diane had never shared the story with anyone else until now.
Jim was making it clear as he come through that it was important to him to acknowledge a daughter, so I asked Diane whether he had one. She hesitated and then said that yes, he had a stepdaughter. Jim was ruffled by this answer and conveyed to me that he considered her his daughter. I shared this with Diane, and she smiled. She said Jim used to get mad when people called Angie his stepdaughter and he’d always correct them. Even in death, his feelings hadn’t changed.
I told Diane to tell Angie that Jim said he plays with his grandchildren. (Diane shared this with Angie after the reading, and Angie said she knew it. She said her little ones always seem amused by something that seemingly isn’t there.) Diane went on to tell me that she has six grandchildren and was quickly corrected by Jim, who said, “Not you—we have six grandchildren.”
Jim’s love for his daughter, Angie, was deep. When he was alive he told Diane that he wouldn’t have been capable of fathering a child as beautiful as Angie, so someone else had to bring her into the world for him to raise. Angie was one year old when Jim came into her life.
I was able to learn a great deal from Jim’s spirit. He had shown me an acoustic guitar at the beginning of our reading. Jim’s father played acoustic guitar and Jim used to sit with him while he recorded music. Jim’s son also played the guitar as a teenager, so the guitar could have symbolized a couple of things, showing the connection between grandfather, son, and grandson. It was also nice to see that Jim and his father were together on the other side.
It’s especially difficult for young people when they lose someone. We all would like to think that a visiting spirit would soothe the living, but often this is not the case. When a living person is mourning the loss of a deceased loved one, the spirit tends to want to be close for support.
Sometimes this can be a catch-22. When a spirit’s energy is around us, we can feel it. We long for those we miss instead of realizing they’re actually in our presence, spending time with us, feeling our pain. Sensing all the sadness, the spirit will then try harder to bring energy through to console us, which can cause all sorts of reactions in the survivor: pictures flashing through the mind, hearing a song play in the head, feeling a cold draft, feeling as though one is being touched.
Sometimes this can make the living person long for the dearly departed even more and cause even greater heartache. I don’t believe spirits realize that their presence is aggravating the pain caused by
their loss. The same effect can be felt when a spirit wants to be around loved ones, and the living think that they have thought of the deceased out of the blue.
In this situation a normal reaction is “I haven’t thought of that person in a while. I wonder what triggered that memory.” In reality, the visiting energy has caused us to retrieve feelings and memories that surround their being. If we are open to the thought that our loved ones remain with us after death, we can understand the relationship that we have with them after they die physically.
If you can’t wrap your mind around this thought, at least know that you and those you love who have crossed over will be together again when your time comes and you are invited over to the other side. Don’t be in a hurry for your reunion. We are here to learn and enjoy life, and for each one of us, our day will come.
Jim was the only spirit I brought through for Diane that day; he was the visitor she had hoped for. He is by far one of my favorite people on the other side. He has the heart of Santa Claus, the trust of a child, and the humor of a friend who is always trying to cheer you up when you’re down. I can’t do him justice through my description—some people are beyond words. When Jim started pulling his energy back, the last thing he said to Diane was, “We will always be together, and when the day comes that you cross over to the other side I will be there to greet you.”
Jim showed me his hand lovingly extended to take Diane’s, as though helping her out of one life and into another (but not anytime soon). Diane expressed closure and satisfaction. She said that she was entirely engulfed by a calm, peaceful, good feeling after her reading. Diane is one of the reasons I continue to do what I do.
Chapter 14
Baby Boy
When Domini found out that she was dying, she reached out to her old friends, one of whom was Stacey. I’ve known Stacey for thirteen years, through my association with Domini. We were frequently around each other in our teenage years, but we hadn’t become close friends.
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