I should have told Sam the truth about me. If I’d been straight with him, told him everything about me, he might still be alive. In trying to protect him, I’d left him exposed, like a lone sheep in a pack of wolves. Tears moistened my cheeks, but the sobs had died. I hugged my knees against me and watched the ripples on the lake. The wind hissed through the trees behind me. I felt Stefan watching me from inside, probably wondering whether he should leave me or intervene. He had better leave me.
Not a single word. He’d swaggered into my workshop. I want you to read this blade… Why didn’t he just say, “Akil killed Sam and he’s coming after you?” What was so hard about that?
I thought of the phone messages I’d left for Sam. I’d said I was sorry, that I was wrong, that I was afraid. He would never hear those messages. I should never have gotten involved with him. He was a good man, one of the best. I wasn’t meant to have someone like that, tainted as I was. I should have stayed away. He’d died because of me. It didn’t matter how you looked at it. The blood was on my hands.
“Come inside.” Stefan stood behind me. I hadn’t even heard him approach.
“Screw you.” I sniffed. The wind whipped my hair across my face and in front of my eyes so that I had to raise a trembling hand to sweep it back.
“Please. Just come inside.”
“You’re no better than Akil.” I rested my chin on my knee, teeth chattering against the cold. “For all I know, you’re working for him.”
“I am.”
I tensed and turned my head to look up at him.
Stefan crouched behind me. “At least, that’s what he believes.” He held out a hand, fingers curled lightly into his palm. His gentle smile tried to reassure me. “Come inside.”
I watched the wind tease his hair about his face. His brilliant eyes locked unblinkingly onto mine.
“How do you think I knew about your workshop?” he asked. “Knew what your demon name was, knew about your talent for reading metal? Akil hired me, Muse. He believes he hired an assassin. I was to play with you before killing you, and his involvement would never be revealed. But he’s been deliberately misled. I’m an Enforcer. I protect people like you, caught in the crossfire.” He paused, offering his hand again. “Come inside.”
It felt good to wear properly fitting clothes again, even if they weren’t mine. Stefan had picked some up on his visit to town, guessing my size surprisingly well. Boot-cut jeans and a white V-neck long-sleeved top. Simple, but comfortable, and that’s what I needed. I was a long way from home, and my old life had been torn to shreds. I had nothing to my name, nothing to call my own. Even the clothes on my back had been bought for me. I couldn’t go back to my apartment, and I dared not go back to Akil. There was no one else. Even Stefan’s motives were dubious. I had begun to trust him; why wouldn’t I? He’d been the one ray of light in this whole wretched nightmare, but I could no more trust him than I could Akil. By his own admission, he was working for Akil—hired to play with me and execute me.
Stefan planted a tub of chocolate ice cream on the kitchen table and handed me a spoon. We hadn’t spoken since his confession on the jetty, and in that time, the silence had begun to drag like a trawler net between us. Unspoken words weighed us down.
He saw me frowning at the ice cream. “What? Don’t tell me you don’t like ice cream?” He looked shocked enough that I had to smile.
“Sure.” Ice cream before lunch? It was just a bit odd. That was all. I sat across the table from him and watched as he popped open the lid. “I gather you like ice cream?”
An eyebrow twitched comically. “Snow demon.” He shrugged.
His oddly placed humor made it difficult for me to stay angry with him. Leaning forward, I sunk my spoon into the ice cream, cracking the hard chocolate layer before scooping out a bite-sized chunk. It did taste pretty good.
“I meant what I said.” He flicked those dazzling eyes to me before scooping out some ice cream for himself. “You’re safe here.”
My smile fell short of meaningful. “I’ve never been safe. You think you being here makes me safe? Or the remote location? He’ll find me. Nobody escapes Akil. If he doesn’t… some other demon will. I’ve only survived this long because he protected me. I’ve always belonged to one demon or another. On my own… I’m vulnerable.”
He bowed his head, pressing his lips as though struggling to find the right words. When he looked up, he leaned on the table, closing the distance between us. “They lied to you. You’re not vulnerable. You’re powerful.” Pointing the spoon at me, he said in all seriousness, “They want us dead because we have it all.”
“What do you mean?” I jabbed at the ice cream with my spoon, chipping off frozen chunks.
“They kill half-bloods, preferring to scrub us from existence rather than regret it later, because we’re dangerous.”
I licked my lips, twisting the spoon in my fingers. Akil had said something by the marina, right before he’d dragged my demon out of me. There’s no such thing as half a demon. I looked up at Stefan, meeting his eyes. A flicker of understanding passed between us.
“They’ve lied to you since birth, Muse. It was that or kill you.”
I laughed. “Okay, say I believe you. What makes us so terrifying?”
“We exist in both worlds. The veil means nothing to us. You and I, we can pass freely between realities. We have the ability to call upon a vast amount of power, not just in this world, but from across the veil too. Full-bloods can’t do that. Not even a Prince of Hell can do that.”
I grunted disbelievingly. “Right. Even if that were true, I could never contain that much power. It’d tear me open…” He looked at me in such a way that I felt a tickle of excitement dance across my skin. Those eyes peered through his lashes. A crooked smile lifted his lips at one corner. “You’ve done it… haven’t you?” I whispered.
“Twice.” He jabbed his spoon into the ice cream. “It’s not easy to control, but I can show you. I need to show you if we’re going to stop Akil.”
A flicker of hope skittered through me, a fleeting dash of possibility. “You’re not lying?”
“No.”
My demon shifted inside me, a curious resettling as though she were satisfied. I was not yet convinced. “No? Then why did you keep the truth from me?” I dropped my gaze. “About Sam.”
“I couldn’t trust you. If you cared for Akil as much as I thought you did and I told you he’d killed Sam, you wouldn’t have believed me. I tried to call you after it had happened, to warn you… but you’d have gone straight to Akil. I’m sorry I kept it from you—I am. But the only way you would believe me was to see it for yourself.”
The white noise on my answering machine—the silent messages from Monday morning—They’d been from Stefan. That didn’t explain why Stefan had been there, in my vision. Why he had smiled when Akil tossed him the sword. “I saw your expression. When I looked into that blade… you were there, right by Akil, when he killed Sam.”
Stefan stabbed the spoon into the ice cream and left it there, leaning back in his chair. “I didn’t know who Sam was. I was about to leave—our business transaction was over with—when Sam arrived. I was late—he was early—whatever. Akil thought it would make the ideal opportunity to test my allegiance. I had no idea he was going to kill him in front of me.” Stefan rubbed a hand across his face. “The plan was to infiltrate Akil’s operation. We’d set up the assassin identity and put the word out, knowing he’d eventually bite.”
“You and Ryder did this? You set Akil up from your garage and Ryder’s kitchen? I find that hard to believe. Akil’s got people everywhere. He’d have checked you out.”
Stefan crossed his arms. “It’s not just Ryder and me. There are others. The Enforcers don’t stop with me. You think Akil’s got people everywhere? You don’t know the half of it.”
It was a great deal to take in, and I wasn’t entirely sure I believed any of it. I set my spoon down on the table, wondering what other secrets w
ere out there. I’d been sheltered by my demon owners—I knew that—and later by Akil. Frankly, I hadn’t gone looking for trouble.
“Why me?” I asked. “Akil hired you to kill me, right? So… would you have done it? How far were you meant to go?”
“When he told me you were a half-blood… I knew—I knew I couldn’t hurt you.” Stefan’s chair scraped back as he stood. He moved to the kitchen cupboards where the view captured his attention and held on to it. “I had no intention of hurting anyone. It was a ruse to get in…”
I waited, sensing he had more to say. He turned and rested back against the countertop, facing me. “I’ve not met a half-blood before—someone like me.” The perpetual smile had vanished, and I realized he felt the loneliness as keenly as I did. A lifetime of persecution. I had no idea what he’d been through, but being different was never going to be easy. He might not have suffered as I had, at least not physically, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurting.
I’d spent so long believing him to be a pillar of strength that I hadn’t even considered the cost to him. He’d become tangled in a battle between a Prince of Hell and little old me, and yet he’d stayed. He could have walked away. He should have.
“Do you see now why I had to know I could trust you?”
I nodded slowly. “You’re taking a big risk, telling me all this. We don’t know each other, not really. I could go to Akil and try to use this information to save my own ass.”
“True.” His smile was back. “But I think you’ll find your ass is beyond saving.”
He was right about that. “Well then.” I replaced the lid on the ice cream. “You’d best teach me how to raise hell, because we’re going to need it.”
Chapter 18
Stefan stood in front of me, just within reach. The pine trees surrounding us blotted out most of the dense gray sky. Pine needles blanketed the forest floor. The rich smell of wood sap and pine permeated the air, cleansing the city smog from my lungs. It was cold, the breeze bitter, but all that was about to change.
Apparently the lack of heat in our surroundings would restrict how much of my element I could summon, rendering this experience fairly safe. Or so Stefan assured me. It wasn’t my element we wanted to call. It was my demon. In theory, she would need to manifest, and I would learn to maintain control. From there, the two of us combined, sharing the same space, time, and reality, could draw upon the heat—my element—beyond the veil. I had never attempted such a thing and wasn’t entirely convinced it was even possible. To draw power from beyond the veil would mean stabilizing a link between the two realities. Demons could hop through, but the journey was static. A to B. I was going to summon my element through the veil while keeping the link open: destination B coming to me.
“Don’t look so worried.” Stefan grinned.
He wore his infamous red coat with the buckles strapped closed, pulling his coat tight across his chest. The breeze teased his hair across his face, whipping it in front of his dazzling eyes. Whether he knew it or not, his presence alone made my demon restless. I didn’t know if it was the cool surroundings or just the nerves getting to me, but I felt the chill of him even at arm’s length. From the eager smile, the glint of mischief in his eyes, and the quiver of excitement in his voice, he clearly thrived in this wilderness. Some of that enthusiasm must have rubbed off on me. A trickle of delight shivered down my spine.
“They lied to you, Muse. You’ve spent so long hating half of yourself that you’ve stifled your abilities.” The words rushed from his lips.
“I don’t hate that part of me.” From the twitch of his smile, I knew he saw through my lie. I’d spent my entire life holding her back. She was a part of me, but she’d always been the darkest part, the shadows in the back of my mind, the horror in my depths. I summoned her when I had no other choice, because I was afraid of her, scared of the chaos, the undeniable desire for the madness that overwhelmed me every time she broke my surface. Stefan had told me I needed to embrace her, to let her have all of me, to drop the reins and trust her entirely. He made it sound easy.
He nodded once, my cue, and I relaxed the mental barriers that held her back. I closed my eyes, shaking out my hands. There was nothing I could do about the trembling. She would know I was afraid no matter how hard I tried to hide it. This wasn’t about hiding. I had to reveal everything to welcome her in.
A flicker of panic snatched at my breath. What we were doing was dangerous. She could easily smother me, swat my attempts at control aside, and do whatever the hell she pleased. Hence the uninhabited location. She could also turn my efforts against me. Without a specific outlet, the result was always the same. She’d drown me in my element, my punishment for calling her and not releasing her.
So many things could go wrong.
“It’s going to be okay.” Stefan’s voice was laced with a confidence I didn’t share.
The breeze filtered through the branches of the trees. The sound of the wind rose and fell like waves caressing a beach. Slowing my breathing, calming my mind, I called to her. She immediately stretched inside of me, her power flexing beneath my skin. A ripple of heat rode over me, chasing away the bitter mountain air and flooding my body with warmth. Cocooned by her touch, I felt her crawl into my skin, layering her existence over mine. I smiled. With no rage, no resentment, only curiosity fuelling us, her explorative approach felt almost welcome, like an unexpected hug at a family reunion. It felt as though she too was surprised, and it occurred to me that I’d never really been alone.
I tilted my head, eyes still closed, as I felt her fill out my body. Then her warmth broke over my skin and explored. Curious tendrils sought an elemental source. The trees fencing us in, the ground beneath my feet, it all held residual warmth but nothing like the potential we found in the city.
“How do you feel?” Stefan asked.
I opened my eyes, fixing him in the center of my gaze. “Good.”
“Okay. Take her to the next level.” His broad grin mirrored the thrill strumming through me.
This was where it got tricky. Usually by now, I’d be experiencing some sort of emotional burst. Rage often sparked the next level, but resentment, fear, and desire all served as triggers. I had none of those things. I would need to invite her to manifest.
I closed my eyes again, shutting out all exterior stimuli. Stefan hadn’t said exactly how I was meant to invite her, but I figured it was like anything when it came to demons. Intention was enough. I simply focused on relaxing, chasing away every ounce of fear and dread, leaving my mind clear of the resentment I’d harbored for my demon half.
She laughed, the sweet chuckle spilling from my lips as though it were mine.
The only chance you have of defeating Akil is to wield every ounce—every fragment of power you have, and to do that, you must have full control of your demon. Stefan had made it sound so simple.
I snapped open my eyes, fixing my stare back on Stefan. His image shimmered in the heat rolling off me in a haze. She was coming, and my doubts about my own capabilities were beginning to undermine my confidence. My control wavered. I staggered a little as my demon breached my physical form. She became me. Her ethereal form superimposed itself over my human flesh. Lifting a hand, I saw her blackened skin stretched over mine, her fingers tipped with sharp obsidian claws. My wing opened behind me, stretching upward with a refreshing flick.
Stefan’s expression had hardened. A slight smile still played across his lips, but he’d wisely adopted caution. Once manifested, I am a wild and unpredictable force of nature. Chaos personified. Chaos spiraled at my core. Blazing heat radiated through my chest.
“Summon your element,” Stefan said. “All of it. Reach beyond the veil and call it to you.” He took a step back, then another, but he kept his eyes on me.
My demon watched his retreat keenly. I felt her measuring him, trying to decide if he was friend or foe. I lifted a hand, letting her trail an explorative ribbon of power from my fingers in his direction. It shim
mered in the air with intangible heat. He wouldn’t react well, of that I was sure, but curiosity prevented me from pulling it back. Stance rigid, Stefan let the ribbon of heat twist around his ankle. His opposing chill spilled over my fingers as though my hand touched him. The cool bite of it felt sharp, but it didn’t hurt.
“Muse…” he growled my name, eyes narrowing.
I got the message: stop getting distracted and get on with it. As the power spooled into me, I breathed in, summoning the warmth from everything around us. I called it all forth, gathering it against me, but it wasn’t nearly enough. There was only one other source. The veil. Beyond it lay the netherworld, a place of extremes, a home I’d run from long ago. My brother would sense me the second I breached the veil.
Thoughts of Val turned to niggling doubts and became obstacles. My demon reared up, sensing my weakness, and then she plunged forth, her will overriding mine. The veil tore open between Stefan and me, a ragged wound in the fabric of reality. Beyond it, the heat was immeasurable. My element flooded through the veil into this reality, spiraling around me. I couldn’t catch my breath, let alone control the rush of raw energy spilling into me. The wild element whipped around me, searing nearby branches and burning the ground at my feet. I stood in the center of a molten maelstrom, in the eye of a firestorm, my body alight with heat and flame. It just kept coming, gushing through the veil, over and into me.
I threw open my arms, back arched, wing held high behind me, and summoned it all. Swelling with power, my blackened skin simmering with energy, I heard my laughter twist in the madness. My physical body shone like the center of a star. The tumultuous heat built and fire rushed like liquid through my fingers, my hair, and across my flesh. Limitless power dripped from my flesh. A nuclear reaction charged my demonic core. I felt alive, connected to the source of creation. My humanity melted away. The demon rode high.
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