by Shayla Black
Then he walked past her, toward the house, without another word.
She shouldn’t follow him. Maggie knew it. They weren’t in a relationship. Hell, she didn’t want one. That logic didn’t keep her from wrapping her hand around his steely arm and stopping him. “Last I checked, it was my ranch you were trying to save. And my bed you just crawled out of. So what the hell is going on?”
“I’ll find you when I can and explain. But this argument you want to have . . . I don’t have time.”
He jerked away and slammed into the house, leaving Maggie standing on the porch dumbfounded, her chest tight and aching.
To her right, Sawyer shook his head as if he pitied her. Then he tipped his hat and wandered toward the south pasture.
Damn it.
She had a choice to make. Cut her losses and forget Josiah existed— could she even manage that?—or march into the house and demand she be included in his discussions about her ranch.
Screw standing here like a damsel in distress. He didn’t have time for her? Ha! She’d make sure he made time. Then she’d tell him to kiss her ass. There were plenty of other guys in the world; she didn’t need Josiah Grant.
But she sure wanted him.
Damn it.
Maggie plowed her way through the door and into the house. She didn’t hear anyone talking. Josiah wasn’t in the kitchen. Zyron and Trees weren’t hanging out in the family room. She frowned until she heard muffled voices from behind her papa’s study door.
Were they huddled in there having man meetings that “the little woman” didn’t need to hear? Oh, if that was what he thought, he had another think coming . . .
Mr. Former-CIA didn’t know this house the way she did. He had no idea that, between the thin wall and the central vents in her grandparents’ bathroom, she could hear every word spoken in the study. Every. Single. One. Clearly, too.
Tiptoeing to her grandmother’s vanity, Maggie leaned against the counter and listened. Since this affected her more than anyone, she did so without remorse.
“Are you shitting me?” Zyron asked. “Does that mean what I think it does?”
“Yeah. On my way back here, I did a drive-by and tried to spot anyone . . . Nothing. After that, I called Preston to let him know. He had no idea about any of this. Unfortunately, he’s stuck in Boerne at the county courthouse testifying about another case. He tried to call Sheriff Wayne. The man didn’t answer. Preston says he’s probably fishing. By the time either of them surfaces, it will be too late.”
“We’ll search instead,” Trees chimed in. “But you can’t come.”
“I know. If anyone from Enlightenment Fields caught me snooping—”
“It would blow everything,” Zyron agreed. “Trees and I will go. We’ll see who or what we can find.”
Maggie found herself pressing closer, trying to understand. What the devil was going on?
“Be careful. And for fuck’s sake, don’t let Maggie in on any of this. She’d go marching over there, full of demands and vinegar and . . .”
“That would be bad. And it would blow your cover totally.”
“Exactly. And I don’t want her anywhere near those people. For her own good.”
So he was trying to keep her safe. That was part of his job. But she wasn’t helpless or stupid. She knew things about this town and these people that he didn’t. She could be an asset.
“Absolutely. So . . . that’s what happened this morning. What happened last night?” Zyron questioned.
“It will have to wait until you get back. But long story short? In the hopes I’ll join their merry band of weirdos, Mercy spent all night plastered against me in her bed and granted me the privilege of breeding her.”
Maggie’s jaw dropped. Did he say breeding?
“Are you fucking kidding me? She wants you to get her pregnant?”
“Yep. As soon as possible.”
“Dude—”
“I know. But we have to unpack all this later. You’re wasting time now.”
After some mumbling and grumbling, Zyron and Trees both checked their weapons, grabbed their shoes and car keys, then dashed out the front door. The room—hell, the house—was suddenly silent.
That was when Maggie made her move.
It didn’t take long to find Josiah. He stood brooding in the kitchen, nursing a mug of coffee and staring out the window overlooking the side yard and porch swing.
“You have time for me yet? I’m thinking you might have time for me now that you’re not busy with your boys. But I get it. Pals before gals and all that shit.”
He sighed. “Maggie, I’m not blowing you off. I had to talk to my fellow operators about something time sensitive. They’re acting on it now. I checked that duty off my list. What do you need?”
“Information. All of this affects me, my family, my house, my—”
“Not this. What I shared with Zy and Trees has nothing to do with you.”
And he clearly had no intention of telling her. His hard expression told her that.
“You’re keeping secrets from me,” she accused.
“I’m protecting you.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“Your sister and brother-in-law did.”
“Gee, after spending a bunch of time with your penis inside my vagina, I thought you might have a little more allegiance to me. But I guess I’m just the girl you fucked a few times and now you’re on to greener pastures. Whatever.”
She turned her back on him. This was exactly why she never got attached to people. Other than her sister and her grandparents, everyone ultimately let her down. Every damn time. Like now.
Suddenly, he curled a steely arm around her waist and settled his lips against her ear. It took everything inside her not to melt at his touch. Instead, she bucked like a bronc. “Let me go.”
He released her immediately. “Maggie, don’t do this.”
“What? Call it like I see it?”
“Put distance between us.”
Was he serious? “Oh, you already did that. Congratulations on bagging Mercy. Was she good in bed?”
With a growl, Josiah spun her around to face him. “What makes you think I had sex with Mercy?”
Maggie wasn’t about to tell him she could overhear his conversations in the study. First, she might need that sneaky little trick again. Second, she refused to give him any more reason to think she cared. But the shitty reality was that she did. And knowing what he’d done with that woman last night was killing her.
“The rumor mill around here works fast. A friend of a friend let me know you went upstairs with her last night, into her room, and didn’t come out until nearly sunrise. I don’t think you two were playing tiddlywinks.”
“We talked and we slept. Just slept. And I only did it to try to get information to keep you and your ranch safe so—”
“Oh, of course you only shared a bed with the hot brunette for my benefit. You didn’t enjoy it at all.” She rolled her eyes. “How stupid do you think I am?”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. I think you’re stubborn and you’re not listening. I won’t deny that she seems to like me for some reason. Why shouldn’t I play along to see what information she’ll give me?”
“I get it now. You suckered information out of her with your dick—and probably that talented tongue, too—because you were so worried about my safety. I’m sure you didn’t feel a thing.”
Josiah clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. “You have got to be the most stubborn, sarcastic, hardheaded, temperamental . . .”
“Don’t stop there.” She cocked her hand on her hip. “Tell me what you really think. Of course, all that you accused me of is still better than being secretive, dismissive, backbiting, and—”
He didn’t let her finish her sentence, simply lifted her as if
she weighed nothing, jerked her against his body, and covered her lips with his, plunging his fingers into her hair at the same moment he plunged his tongue into her mouth. He took possession of her—total, utter, undeniable. Maggie tried to fight. She tried not to notice his musky, woodsy scent. She tried not to succumb to the skill of his mouth. She tried not to wrap her legs around his middle and feel his erection prodding her exactly where she wanted it.
She failed miserably.
Why did this man undo her? Why did she let him? Why did she lose her starch every time he kissed her? Why couldn’t she walk away from him with the same ease she’d walked away from every other man?
Josiah set her backside on the kitchen table at the same time he lifted his lips. He pressed his forehead to hers and stepped between her thighs, which had spread unconsciously for him. He was breathing heavily. “You make me crazy, baby.”
Yeah? Same for her, only double. Not for anything would she admit that.
“I’ll tell you something I shouldn’t. Normally, if the job required it, I would have had sex with Mercy. She’s crazy, but she’s not hard to look at, and if sex makes her lips looser, that’s a win. But last night, when some horizontal action seemed possible . . . my answer was a big no.” He sighed. “I lay awake for a while after she curled herself up to my side. I had to let her because I can’t let on that I have no interest in joining her or Enlightenment Fields. I tried to think about everything I’d seen, ways I could prove they’re into dangerous and illegal shit so I could end this farce. I tried to consider all my next moves, how to play this scenario for the best possible outcome. But all I could fucking think about was you.”
Maggie’s heart skipped a handful of beats. She couldn’t bite back her curiosity. “Why?”
“Damned if I know. I’d like to say it’s my professional concern. These are dangerous people, and you’re my responsibility to keep safe. But I’m not into bullshitting myself. I’m in unfamiliar territory here, so I don’t know what this is between us. But I know what it isn’t. Casual. Passing. Easily forgotten.”
She blinked up at him, her heart in her throat. Against him, she trembled. Mostly because he was right.
“You look as scared as I feel. And I’m not shocked at all. I don’t have any interest in trying a relationship again, and you don’t commit. We’d be kidding ourselves, right? I keep telling myself that. And yet . . . last night when I couldn’t stop thinking about you, one thought circled in my head: I have a bad feeling I’m falling in love with you. And if that’s the case, baby, we’re both fucked. Because I won’t let you walk away from me. I won’t let you go.”
Her heart stopped altogether. “L-love?”
“It’s a real possibility. I’m telling you this because you’ll probably do one of two things. Either you’ll run away from me far and fast in the next thirty seconds, which will tell me I’m wasting my time, energy, and emotions—and hopefully will keep me from becoming utterly and irrevocably lovesick over you. Or you’ll realize that I’m worth taking a chance on and stop pulling away every fucking time you get the screwed-up notion that I’ve somehow stabbed you in the back or left you.” He shrugged. “Regardless of which path you take, I’m further ahead than I would be if I said nothing and let this play out over the next couple of weeks. Then once you, your family, and your ranch are safe, you’d most likely dump my ass and crush my heart in the end.”
Maggie gaped. Her heartbeat thundered and her thoughts raced. He might be in love with her? He wasn’t the first man to say that. Hell, one boy had written a poem to her beauty. Granted, it had been his class assignment and they had been in seventh grade, but still . . . The guy she’d given her virginity to because he was hot and rumor said he was good in bed had pursued her for months after they’d done the deed. He’d only quit when his family moved away. Two years ago, a man she’d met in a community college class and dated a few times had actually started talking marriage. She’d easily dismissed them all because they weren’t serious.
Determination was written all over Josiah’s face. He meant every word he said.
“Oh, dear lord.”
“Does that mean I should fuck the fuck off? Or . . . that you might be falling for me, too?”
She didn’t know how to answer him. That wasn’t totally true. She knew what her heart wanted to say. But he’d spent last night in another woman’s bed. He was keeping secrets from her. Did she dare tell him that she—gulp—had feelings for him, too? If she didn’t, he’d probably walk away. Then, wouldn’t she always wonder what might have been?
Maggie swallowed. After a lifetime of breaking hearts, she was actually considering giving this man the power to break hers.
That scared the hell out of her.
“Don’t fuck off, okay?”
He let out a breath that seemed to leach the tension from his shoulders. “So you might be falling for me?”
Wasn’t it obvious? She wouldn’t have given two shits where he spent last night if she weren’t. But that didn’t mean she wanted to spell her feelings out for him. He was a man. Did he really need the reassurance?
Maybe he did. After all, she wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt in the past.
She closed her eyes, terrified by what she was about to admit. “I-I might be.”
His grip on her tightened. “Put your arms around my neck, baby.”
Maggie did. “Why?”
“I’m going to take you upstairs, lay you out, strip you down, and worship you. Got anything to say about that?”
By now, she’d usually pulled back and figured out a dozen ways to protect her heart. In this moment, Maggie couldn’t. She needed Josiah too badly. “Hurry.”
CHAPTER 12
Josiah’s head reeled. Magnolia West might be in love with him. She certainly kissed him like she was.
The responsible part of his brain told him he should be far more focused on the seven people who had whipped up their own poison and ingested it before trekking toward the sun less than an hour ago. He’d tried like hell, but when he’d been unable to find them and Kane Preston had been in no position to help, he’d enlisted Zy and Trees. His gut told him it was too late to save those people who had sacrificed themselves for Enlightenment Fields’ crazy ideals, and he’d have to call EM Security Management soon to give them the scoop and follow up about potential FBI involvement. Hell, if Enlightenment Fields had provided the poison or demanded that their followers kill themselves, the feds would definitely get involved. But Coleman was smarter than that. If the crate of AR-15s had been illegally converted into automatics or Josiah had proof that this wacky cult was stockpiling any weapon prohibited by law, he’d drag the ATF into this fray. But the cult hadn’t and he didn’t, so he could do precious little now.
Except focus on the woman he couldn’t seem to forget.
As he carried Maggie up the stairs, her legs wrapped around his waist, and headed toward the bedroom they’d shared for the last handful of crazy days, Josiah breathed her in. God, she even smelled sexy and sassy. Everything about her should have him whipping out the caution tape and wrapping it around his heart. But she made doing anything except craving her every moment of every day impossible.
“Are we doing something stupid?” Maggie panted as she tore her lips from his.
Josiah dropped her on the bed, in a cloud of thick quilts and soft sheets, and hovered above her, staring into her eyes, so green and uncertain. “Probably. But that’s not stopping me.”
“Me, either.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“No.” She didn’t even have to think about her answer.
Honestly, some part of him wondered if he ever had been, either. Whitney’s betrayal had hurt him. But in hindsight, it had infuriated him a shitload more. He suspected she’d wounded his pride far more than she’d bruised his heart.
“Because you never let an
yone close.”
“Never.” She hesitated, frowned. “Don’t make me regret this . . .”
Her soft threat punched him in the chest. Maggie was all but admitting that the feelings she had for him gave him the power to hurt her. The realization humbled him.
“Never. Give me your mouth.”
He closed his eyes and dipped his head. Maggie met him halfway, lips parted, heart open. Thrill chased through his bloodstream as he possessed and partook of her.
God, he could lose himself in her all day and still want more of her tonight.
Softly, slowly, he caressed her pillowy lips, cupped her face, and brushed her downy cheek with his thumb. “I don’t know how what I’m feeling is possible. A week ago, I didn’t know you existed.”
A little furrow wrinkled her brow. “When we were growing up, Granna always told my sister and me that love was something we’d fall into as quick as the snap of a finger—as least it happened that way for her and Papa. It’s commitment that takes time, compromise, patience, dedication, and hard work.”
“Your grandmother is a wise woman. So why have you resisted falling? Afraid of those things?”
“No. ‘Love’ made my mother do stupid things, like try drugs, get pregnant at sixteen . . .”
“Abandon her daughters as toddlers.”
Maggie swallowed as if the whole conversation pained her. “That. Yeah. I never wanted her version of love. And if commitment took that much effort, why bother? Sex always worked just fine.”
Is that what she told herself? It made sense, he supposed. She couldn’t get hurt again if she didn’t allow herself to be vulnerable.
“Because there’s more to life than sex.”
“You might be right.”
She hadn’t outright refuted him, so Josiah called that a victory. Maggie needed to feel valued. Since her mother had run out on her when she’d been far too young to process why, she’d felt betrayed. Hurt. Abandoned. If he wanted something with her that lasted longer than this mission, he would have to figure out how to take all that away. She would have to believe in every corner of her heart that he would always be there for her.