by Lara Adrian
“How’s it going in here?”
Nikolai had only one answer. “I’m mated to an incredible woman.”
Rafe smiled. “No one would ever argue that point with you. Renata, can I do anything for you?”
She shook her head on the pillow, her fingers still entwined with Niko’s. “I’m good. The baby’s almost here now.”
Rafe glanced at Niko for confirmation. Although it wasn’t unusual for Breed births to occur privately at home, without medical attendants, having a healer present at the command center was a comfort Nikolai could not deny. But he was loathe to share Renata and this moment with anyone else.
Almost anyone.
“Rennie?” Mira peeked in around the half-open door.
“Mouse.” Renata’s face lit up at the sight of the former orphan who had become a daughter to both Nikolai and her in the past twenty years they’d been together. She held out her free hand to Mira. “Come in with us. You belong here too.”
They were family, the three of them. More recently, Kellan had brought their number to four.
And soon, a few minutes at most, they would welcome another into the fold.
“We should call D.C.,” Mira said to Rafe as she stepped inside the room. “They’ll want to know the baby is finally coming.”
Nikolai smiled at the air of command in her. She hadn’t been born from Renata’s body, but Mira had grown up under her wing and guidance to become a force to be reckoned with.
Rafe smirked. “I made the call on the way here. Lucan’s had the jet fueled and on standby for more than two weeks. They’re already en route as we speak.”
Niko nodded at Rafe and his daughter. “Thank you. Both of you.”
The warrior healer departed in silence, closing the door behind him. Mira rushed to the other side of Renata’s bedside and pressed a loving kiss to her temple.
“What can I do?”
Renata smiled tenderly. “Take my hands, Mouse.” Then she glanced over meaningfully at Niko and gave a mild nod. “He’s coming now.”
There was barely a moment before the next contraction seized her. Together, he and Mira helped her through the last of her ordeal. Then, when it was time, Nikolai was the one to receive the slippery, squalling miracle that was his son.
He held the crying baby in his palms, rendered mute and practically useless for the wonder of what he had just experienced with the two women he cherished more than anything else in his long life . . . and now this, the precious gift he cradled in his hands.
Renata told him what to do next, somehow clear-minded enough to think and talk and do the right things for their child after all she’d been through, while Niko could hardly do more than stare and marvel, silently thanking whatever god would hear him for the blessings he could never hope to fully deserve.
“Our son,” he said as he carried him to Renata and carefully placed the cleaned, naked infant on her chest. Nikolai didn’t care that his cheeks were wet with tears. He felt no shame in his weakness when it came to this woman . . . and now, this child.
He glanced over at Mira, whose own eyes glistened with wells of tears. Nikolai nodded, overwhelmed with emotion when he looked at this grown child of their heart too. “Mouse, meet your little brother.”
“I love him already.” She beamed, cupping the baby’s head in her hand. “I’ll let you two enjoy him while I let everyone know he’s finally arrived.”
CHAPTER 20
The Montreal command center vibrated with energy in the couple of hours following the birth of Nikolai and Renata’s son. As if the baby wasn’t enough to send a ripple of excitement through the place, preparations were also being made for the arrival of the Order’s founder, Lucan Thorne, and several other warrior elders and their mates currently on the way to celebrate the birth in person.
Kaya was thrilled for Niko and Renata. She was thrilled for her friend Mira, too. The tenacious team captain had immersed herself completely in her new role tonight--that of the elated older sister. Mira had been practically walking on air since she emerged from her adoptive parents’ sides in the infirmary to announce the baby had made his long-awaited entrance.
As for Kaya, she couldn’t help but think of her own sister and the child she carried.
In truth, she’d been thinking about Leah constantly all day. Even more so, now that Angus Mackie and his entire gang had apparently gone to ground ahead of the Order’s raid.
Standing alone in the mansion’s kitchen, Kaya put a kettle of water on the burner, guilt raking her when she relived tonight’s mission. Not only because it was likely her visit to Leah at the tavern that had spurred Big Mack to run, but because of her silence about that visit when she and the other warriors prepared for the raid.
For one of the first times in her life, she had behaved like a coward.
Yet there was a part of her that was profoundly relieved that her sister had escaped the Order’s discovery. And their wrath.
Kaya knew her day of reckoning was coming. She had been preparing herself for that moment earlier tonight, before Nikolai had come down to the war room and informed her and Aric that they had both finally made the grade as warriors. Kaya should have been celebrating the achievement she’d worked so hard to earn. Instead she’d ridden to Angus Mackie’s bar feeling as though she were on her way to the gallows.
Then, when she’d finally shored up her courage to try again, her blurted request to meet privately with the commander was thwarted by the urgent arrival of his son.
She exhaled a humorless laugh, miserable with the irony of it all.
And if she were headed for her grave as far as the Order was concerned, it was a hole she alone had dug for herself. Fear of being rejected by the only people who’d ever showed her any kindness had kept her silent about her past and the people in it. Now it was that fear and silence that would ensure she’d lose this new family she cared for so deeply.
Including Aric.
Although to be fair, he wasn’t hers. Imagining a world where he might be only made the regret and futile longing inside her worsen.
How had the arrogant Order prince she was certain she’d despise turn out to be the only man who had ever gotten close enough to see past the steep walls she’d built around her heart? How could she be in danger of losing her heart to a man who couldn’t wait to leave her in his rearview mirror?
How could she crave Aric Chase regardless of all those things?
Kaya slowly shook her head. “Because I’m a fool, that’s why.”
The kettle began to whistle, pulling her thoughts away from dreams she’d never so much as pretended she would ever have until she met Aric. Kaya poured the boiling water, staring into the twisting plume of tea-infused steam that rose up over the rim of her mug.
She had no more time to waste on soft feelings and foolish fantasies. As soon as the fervor over the baby’s arrival and the visiting warriors were gone, she and Nikolai would have their talk. And then, she was certain, her short career with the Order would be over. Before that happened, she wanted to do something useful with the time she had left.
She couldn’t be more disappointed in herself, but she’d be damned if she failed the Order any further by letting up on her mission to identify the Opus member she’d linked to Stephan Mercier.
Mug of hot tea in hand, she walked over to the large kitchen table where she’d laid out printed photos and a tablet containing image and video files from the wedding. Aric had helped her narrow the search considerably since they started, but there was still hours of work ahead. Possibly days.
Her heavy sigh was met by a subtle shift in the air behind her. Although Aric was silent, a born predator, the power of his presence registered within her senses like a physical caress.
“Quite a night,” he said, his deep voice a vibration she felt in her veins.
“Yes, it has been.” Kaya pivoted to look at him as he approached.
They had both changed out of their patrol gear. Gone were his black fat
igues, in their place he wore low-slung workout pants and a dark tank that showcased his strong arms and shoulders while clinging to every ridge and muscle of his magnificent torso.
Kaya nearly groaned at the way she ached just looking at him. Her skin felt tight and hot beneath her loose clothing. She had opted for comfort as well, dressed in yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt that Balthazar had loaned her a week ago after one of their paint-gun training sessions ruined hers. Her comrade hadn’t asked for it back, and while she’d thought nothing of wearing it when she put it on tonight, seeing Aric’s gaze narrow disapprovingly on the warrior-sized garment made her cheeks flush with unwanted heat.
And her face wasn’t the only thing suddenly growing too warm as he came to stand beside her.
She cleared her throat. “How are the new parents doing?”
“I just left the infirmary a few minutes ago,” he said, his sensual mouth curving in a smile. “Renata’s already up and on her feet. Which is good, because Nikolai’s legs still look a little shaky.”
Kaya laughed, trying to picture the fearsome Siberian-born warrior as anything less than in full command of any situation. Much like the handsome Breed male currently at her side.
“Mira told me she thought Niko was going to pass out after he delivered the baby. I didn’t realize he and Renata would be handling the birth on their own.”
Aric nodded. “Rafe was on standby in case anything went wrong and they needed a healer, but complications are rare among the Breed. It’s up to the parents to decide who they want in the room with them. For a lot of couples, births are as sacred and intimate as their blood bond.”
“Is that how it was with your parents?”
His grin deepened. “Once you meet them, you won’t need to ask. They should be here anytime now.”
Kaya swallowed, her stomach lurching at the idea that she would soon be standing in the same room with his mother and father and several other Order elders and their mates when the time came to present the baby and announce his name. Mira had filled her in on the basic details of the ritual the Breed practiced following the birth of a child, and Kaya couldn’t deny that she was excited to be part of it.
The arriving Order leaders would be meeting her as a member of the Montreal team, a distinction that she felt honored to hold no matter how temporary it might end up being. But most of her anxiety stemmed from the simple fact that she wanted Aric’s parents to like her.
A ridiculous thing to hope for, and selfish too.
Yet that didn’t make her want it any less.
Knowing Aric would be on the plane with the rest of the Order when they returned home to D.C. didn’t make her want him any less, either.
Particularly when he was looking at her with steady eyes that smoldered with dark promise.
Kaya mentally shook herself out of her pointless yearning and pivoted back to the photographs. “Who do you suppose will be named the baby’s godparents?”
“Rio and Dylan,” he answered without hesitation. “There was never a doubt about that. Niko and Rio’s friendship goes back twenty years, back when the Order had only a handful of warriors and was based in Boston.”
She glanced at him as he moved in closer, joining her at the table. “Boston,” she remarked. “That’s where your father’s family is from.”
He nodded. “The Chases have been in that city for countless generations.”
“But you’re heading to Seattle now that you’ve been promoted up to warrior?”
“Eventually,” he said. “Ideally, I want to be wherever the action is. Wherever I can best serve the Order.”
Kaya looked back at the images of all those wealthy, happy people. People who could make their own futures, choose their own destinies. People who weren’t tied down by poverty or neglect or choices that would saddle them for all their lives. People like Aric, who held the world by the tail simply by virtue of his birth.
“What do you want, Kaya?”
She didn’t dare look at him. She, the girl who taught herself to fear nothing, now stood there terrified that she might let him see how afraid she was of wanting him.
She shook her head, hoping he’d let the question go.
But this was Aric Chase she was dealing with. He was as tenacious and determined as she was. He reached out and gently caught her chin on the tips of his fingers. “Tell me.”
“I used to think I wanted to see the world,” she murmured, recalling how desperately she prayed for wings to fly her out of the hell of her childhood. “I wanted to be anywhere but this city. As far as I could go. One adventure after another.”
His smile was tender, his nod mild with understanding. “And now?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do.” His palm glided along the line of her jaw, his long fingers splaying into her hair. “Tell me.”
A strangled moan escaped her before she could call it back. “Aric . . . I can’t.”
“Then tell me why you can’t.”
She closed her eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I think something’s got you terrified, and it’s not me.” His caress gave her no choice but to open her eyes and meet his smoldering gaze. “I don’t know what’s going on in that beautiful, stubborn head of yours but I want you to know that you can tell me, Kaya. You can trust me.”
“Trust you? I hardly know you.” The protest sounded weak, despite the force with which she pushed it past her lips.
“You really want me to believe you feel that way? Because I’ve been trying to convince myself that’s how I feel about you, and it’s not working. Not one damned bit.”
Her heart leapt at his confession. She could not allow this hope to bloom, though. Not when the secret of her past was all but certain to crush anything Aric felt for her, along with his trust.
Yet she couldn’t move.
She couldn’t speak, neither to confirm nor deny what he was saying.
She stood there, torn between wanting him to kiss her and knowing she should push him away. But she couldn’t push him away. Inside she was a mess, and Aric was the only thing grounding her.
He stroked his fingers along the side of her neck, his penetrating gaze locked on her. “Tell me again that you hardly know me. That you really feel there’s nothing between us.”
His voice was low and quiet, but filled with a masculine power that spoke to everything female inside her. And, God, she couldn’t think when he was touching her. Those leaf-green eyes captivated her too, made her remember how good it felt to be drowning in his hungry, molten stare while his body moved against hers, inside her.
She wanted to feel that pleasure again. Wanted to tell him that she would never be the same now that she knew the fire of his touch, his kiss, his passion.
With this man, she simply . . . wanted.
“I didn’t say there was nothing between us, Aric.” She shook her head, miserable for all of the longing he stirred within her. “I only wish I had the strength to tell you that.”
“Finally, honesty,” he murmured. “Was that so hard?”
It should have been. Kaya didn’t trust easily. She didn’t let people see past the wall that protected her heart, let alone allow them to breach it. Yet she never felt safer than when she was with this dangerous Breed male. She didn’t resist at all when his hand moved around the back of her neck, warm and possessive. He drew her closer, his gaze flickering with amber light as he lowered his head toward her parted lips.
At that same moment, Rafe’s deep voice sounded just outside the kitchen entry, a low murmur that Kaya couldn’t quite make out. It was followed by the soft titter of Siobhan’s giggle as the pair entered the room.
“Oh, shit,” Rafe blurted. “Are we interrupting?”
Aric’s reply was no better than a growl. “Yes.”
“--No,” Kaya answered at the same time. She slipped out of his reach and turned back to her work spread out over the table. “I was just going over the intel f
rom the wedding and reception.”
“Ah,” Rafe said. “Getting anywhere?”
Aric’s grunt held a sardonic tone. “We were starting to, but then you showed up.”
Kaya didn’t miss the questioning look he gave his comrade as Rafe brought the shy Breedmate to one of the tall stools at the island counter, then headed over to the stove. “Siobhan’s hungry, so I told her I’d make something for her to eat.”
Aric leaned against the long counter and cocked his head, then glanced at the female. “Has he mentioned to you that he’s Breed? My man over here has never cooked a day in his life, nor tasted anything he’s made. His diet is the same as mine: human red cells only.”
“And even that’s losing its appeal lately,” Rafe said, flicking a meaningful look at Siobhan. “Anyway, I think I can manage to scramble a couple of eggs and throw in some chopped vegetables. Kaya, would you like some too?”
“No, thanks.” Unlike the other Breedmate whose flushed face and throat and dusky, heavy-lidded eyes threw off an unmistakable post-sex vibe, Kaya had no appetite for food. Her stomach had been in a knot for days--ever since Aric Chase had sauntered into her life.
She felt his gaze return to her as she busied herself with the stacks of printed photographs and the surveillance videos stored on the tablet. The mention of blood and hunger only made the heat of Aric’s stare feel more intense. Try as she might not to imagine any of the human blood Hosts he was required to feed from--especially the females--the thought of Aric sinking his fangs into the soft flesh of another’s throat sent a dark lick of curiosity through her veins.
And a profound, shocking envy.
She couldn’t have been more relieved when Rafe drew Aric’s attention away from her, even though the conversation centered on the disappointing raid on Angus Mackie and the troubling evidence they collected at his bar.
“Too bad we weren’t able to grab the son of a bitch and haul him in for interrogation,” Aric snarled. “I’d have liked to see how long Big Mack would last in front of a room full of Breed warriors before he started spilling everything he knows.”