by B. T. Narro
The moment I got to my feet, I became dizzy and almost fell. I found my balance, grabbed my bag, and forced myself toward a pocket in the trees and shrubs, a pathway into the thick of it. If I was going to find game or nuts or berries, it would be in there. I didn’t feel right leaving my horse on his own, but I didn’t have the strength to get on his back or drag him after me. I’d have to risk it.
No money and no food. I wanted to be angry at the thief, but I didn’t have the energy. After I fed myself, I’d figure out how to find him.
I checked the ground for foot or hoof prints. The grass was matted where a horse had been. The tracks led into the trees where I already was headed. I hoped they were from Shara’s horse and not the thief’s. He’d be long gone.
I stumbled along, following the tracks into what seemed to be the start of a forest. Death no longer felt as if it hovered over my shoulders, but I couldn’t imagine walking more than a mile in my current state.
I followed the tracks deeper, and soon the ground was taken over by leafy plants with budding flowers that came up to my shins. Walls of trees blocked my vision until I came closer and found a path between them. I saw Whitspur, tied up and hidden among the trees. I looked around and found Shara next, crouched behind a rock, aiming her wand ahead of her. Then I noticed the rabbit about ten yards out, poking his little head out of the sea of green.
A fireball flew from her wand and blasted the entire area near the creature. The plants made a crunching sound as they burst apart. Birds squawked and flapped their wings. Her horse whinnied. I came closer behind Shara, the sound of my footsteps pressing down the foliage loud enough that she had to know I was there.
“Shara—”
She spun with her wand aimed at me. A fireball sailed over my head, startling me enough to fall backward. I heard it hit a tree, then the cracking of a branch followed. I sat up and turned around to see two branches fall, another dangling where the bark was blackened.
“Gods, you could’ve killed me!” I shouted. “What kind of person shoots before seeing who they’re shooting at?”
She showed no emotion. “I saw it was you, so I missed on purpose.”
“If you saw it was me, why didn’t you refrain from shooting?”
She turned away and headed toward where the rabbit had been. “I’d already started gathering the energy when I heard someone sneaking behind me. I can’t not use it after I’ve gathered it.”
I was annoyed, but I didn’t know enough about bastial energy to argue. I looked at the tree she’d struck. The branch barely hanging on still swayed back and forth.
“You could’ve set this whole forest on fire,” I accused.
“Nay.” She turned to show me a smile. “So you’re feeling better, I see.”
She didn’t need to know that I ached all over and barely could stand. “Yes, thank you.”
She crouched over something I couldn’t see, most likely the rabbit. “Oh, this is dreadful. At least you’re here, Neeko. To repay me for saving your life, come break this rabbit’s neck pleeeeease? He’s still alive, and I hate doing it.”
The thought sickened me, especially when I saw the poor creature too dazed to stand, his little nose twitching. It was a fair request, though, more than fair. She had saved my life.
When I’d thought I was going to die, I realized how little I’d actually done in life, how much stronger I wanted to be. It was time to really become a man, and I would start with killing this defenseless…adorable creature. Ugh, I have some work ahead before I really feel like a man.
I broke its poor little neck. Shara applauded with soft yet quick claps.
“Does this mean you’re going to stay with me now?” I asked as she retrieved her horse.
“At least for the night. I still haven’t decided about tomorrow.” She looked at me in the same way as before, like I were a rabid animal.
“Well you don’t need to worry about my money anymore. A thief took all that I had.”
The color drained out of her face as she put her hand over her chest. “Just now?”
“Earlier.”
Shara pulled Whitspur after her while I told her about the degenerate and his knife. I could see her expression had changed by the time I’d finished—I was a person again.
“Did the thief know about your money because Shara yelled about it?” she asked, ashamed.
I rubbed my aching neck. “He did mention that, but you shouldn’t feel guilty.”
“I suppose it matters how you really made the money.” She gave me a pointed look.
“Through honest work,” I told her. “Shara, I’ve worked hard for years to make that money.”
“But how did you have so much?”
“My father’s neighbor, Wylen, let me work with him soon after I got to Lanhine. I was just eight years old, and my father was overjoyed to have me but knew little about what to do with me. So I spent each day with Wylen. He always paid me generously, but more importantly he taught me everything I needed to know to be a carpenter. He helped get me my own jobs when I turned fourteen, because it was hard to convince people I was skilled enough to do the work required when I looked so young. Wylen’s wife was barren, and I think they considered me almost like their own after a while. When Wylen passed, his wife moved, but not before giving me twenty silver. She made me promise not to tell my father, which I was smart enough to know not to do anyway. The rest I earned myself.”
“Is there really such good money in painting and roofing?”
“That’s not all I do, and it depends on the person and the house. A few lucky projects can pay ten times what others will. A rich man who’d gotten to know me through Wylen wanted a new house built, not to live in but to sell. He paid me a dalion. Took me about a year. Best money I ever made.”
“You constructed a whole house? You must’ve had to split the money with the other builders.”
“There weren’t any others.”
She pursed her lips. “I’ll admit I don’t know much about carpentry, but that seems quite unlikely.”
Pyforial energy was responsible for most of the physical labor. “Well, it was just me.”
She glared. Silence fell upon us as we walked back to the murky lake.
“I want to believe you,” she said, taking the dead rabbit from me. “Especially after what I did…shouting about your money and refusing to turn back when you needed help. But I can’t trust you when you’re hiding something.” She reached out, eyeing the dagger on my belt. “For the rabbit.”
“I’ll clean it while you make a fire.” I took back the rabbit, drew the knife, and knelt over the mess of flesh and fur. It was time to start taking care of myself as I’d planned to do if Shara hadn’t come along in the first place. “I’m not hiding anything. Besides, if you’re going to leave tomorrow, what does it matter if I am?”
I felt her hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see her dark eyes wide with sadness. “I’m sorry I abandoned you when those soldiers came.” What was this? Her touch and soft statement made me still with worry. “I’ve never…abandoned anyone before.”
Oh, that was it. Abandonment. I noticed Shara swallow, looking as if she was about to cry. “And I don’t want to abandon you tomorrow, either. But I need to trust you if I’m going to stay. I believe you’re telling the truth about your money. I can’t imagine you stole it or would ever hurt someone for it, though I need to know if there’s anything else you’re keeping from me.”
Her voice rose into song. “I don’t need to hear about secrets old, ones that matter little now. Tell me and I won’t scold, this is no brittle vow. What are you keeping from me that I need to know? Out with it, and don’t make a show.”
I barely had the strength to open the rabbit’s flesh. To tell her I was a pyforial mage felt like I’d be sawing down a tree. I didn’t know how many words it would take, how long we’d go back and forth, how much progress we actually could make, or if she would just up and leave the moment I said it.
&
nbsp; I knew better than to try to lie, though. I could keep a secret but not when someone was on to me. When Jon figured out I was hiding something from him, whether it was money, sweets, or an opinion about his behavior, he always got it out of me. This made it harder to be open around him. But Shara wasn’t at all like my father.
I looked around to make sure there were no listeners, then spoke as calmly as I could. “I’m a pyforial mage.”
With her standing over me, I had to strain my neck for a glimpse of her face. She smirked. “What’s your secret really?”
“It’s really that. I’m a pyforial mage.”
Slowly her smile flattened out. She took a step back. “No you’re not?” I didn’t know why she phrased it as a question.
“Yes I am?” I questioned back.
She backed up another step. “Stop joking.”
“I’m not.” I stood, the effort making my head spin. “I would never hurt anyone. You wondered how I built a house on my own. Now do you see?”
“I don’t believe you.” She did believe me, though. I could hear it in her voice.
“I think you mean you don’t want to believe me.”
“Prove it…but not on me!” She recoiled, pointing around her turned shoulder like I was going to throw something at her. “Lift the rabbit.”
The thought of even that simple feat made me twice as tired. “I feel ill from the venom—”
“If you’re a pyforial mage you can lift the stupid rabbit!”
I took in a breath, readied my body for the pain the effort would cause, and started to pull in the energy I would need. What usually felt like lifting my light bag from the ground instead felt like it was filled with rocks and I was dragging it after me, unable to hoist it up. I strained harder to pull the energy toward me until I had it under control, a clump of it the size of my fist hovering in front of me. I could sense it but couldn’t see it.
Before I lost control, I willed it over the rabbit. Feeling like I would collapse, I didn’t have the focus needed to wrap the energy around the carcass. Instead, I brought it down over the rabbit like a clamp snapping shut. Then I raised my hand and made the energy fly up. The carcass jumped up, flipping awkwardly. Shara let out a yelp and fell backward.
“Two hells!”
“There’s no reason to worry. I won’t hurt anyone.”
“How? When did you…but how are you able…to do that?”
“Remember how I told Aunt Nann that Eizle and I always went to the river? Well, all that time we were practicing moving rocks with pyforial energy. He’s even more powerful than I am, or at least he was when we were younger. He wouldn’t hurt anyone, so I don’t know why he was put in prison.”
“And…you say you would never hurt anyone…but then why learn it?”
As the answer came, I realized something about myself I never had before. “I’ve always wanted to be strong. All the other boys were good at something, many things. I needed something to be proud of, and I loved the idea of being a pyforial mage. I dreamed about it. I spent every waking moment eager to practice. I never got bored with it. I still love it.” My voice was so thick with emotion, it startled me. I felt like I was listening to myself speak instead of choosing the words. “Shara, the feeling of building, making something, there’s nothing like it. I don’t wish to hurt people. I’ve never wanted that…and I surely would never hurt you.”
My heart raced. Was this an effect of the venom? I lost all the strength I had left. Suddenly I was sitting up with Shara’s hand on my back. I didn’t remember her coming over, nor did I remember hitting the ground.
“You passed out for a moment.”
I was so tired that I felt closer to being asleep than awake. All the hours I’d spent lying awake surrounded by darkness came back to me, the thought making my eyelids heavy.
“Do you have any more of the remedy you gave me earlier?” I asked.
“I don’t. I would make more, but I was lucky just to find the talphial roots that I did. What you need is food and sleep. You should feel better tomorrow.”
Shara continued to say something, but I’d passed out again. I only realized this when she woke me later. “Eat, Neeko.”
It was night, the dancing fire sending flickering light along Shara’s face and extended arm. In her open hand were chunks of greasy meat. Although I knew it was rabbit, I wouldn’t have cared if it was rat. I devoured it greedily, only asking afterward if she’d eaten.
“I have. The rest is for you.”
I saw it waiting for me on a rock, steaming. I burned my fingers, my tongue, and the top of my mouth as I ate with uncontrollable speed. “Thank you,” I said. “Next time I’ll prepare the rabbit.” I looked at her, hoping she wouldn’t object.
She must’ve known I was speaking about more than just the next meal. I was looking for confirmation she would stay with me. She nodded, and I felt like hugging her. I refrained, offering a smile instead. Then a thought struck me. I was confident she could make it on her own after everything I’d seen, so was she only staying out of pity?
I couldn’t bring myself to ask in fear of hearing the answer. It didn’t matter; I would make sure this wasn’t the case soon enough. Things were going to change. There would be no reason to pity Neeko. Gods, was I picking up some of Shara’s odd habits? I tried not to think about it, soon remembering the lost money I needed to retrieve.
“A dalion and some thirty silver fell out of my coin purse when I jumped into that lake to escape the flying spiders.” I pointed toward the sound of the undulating water. “Tomorrow, I’m going to get that dalion. Then we’ll cross the desert.” And if I ever see the thief who took my money, I will find a way to deliver justice.
I was tired of being a victim. The red priest who killed Callyn came to mind next. I suppose I wasn’t completely honest with Shara. I would use pyforial energy to hurt some people, especially Swenn.
Did that mean Eizle would as well?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I realized what I’d done the next morning. Shara could report me to any guard in any city, and the law mandated I would be thrown in prison. I didn’t know how it actually would happen in practice. Would there first be a trial like with other major crimes? If I refused to admit I could manipulate pyforial energy, how would they decide whether I was lying? I figured Swenn wouldn’t report me given that my accusation about him killing my mother had a better chance of being proven. But I had nothing like that on Shara.
“I’m trusting you with my secret,” I told her.
“I won’t tell anyone so long as you promise not to hurt anyone with it.”
I objected before I gave myself a chance to think. “What about to protect us?”
“Against what?”
“Thieves—I would’ve used it on the one who took my money if I had the strength at the time.”
“You would’ve killed him?” Shara was incredulous.
I was confused. “Using pyforial energy on someone doesn’t mean killing them.”
“Yes, but then what happens after you use it to stop him. Do you let him go so he can report you to the nearest guard? You would have to kill him unless you want to spend your life in prison, and I don’t want to be responsible for you killing anyone because I didn’t report you.”
I’d never thought about it like that. I wouldn’t have killed the thief…so I suppose I would’ve let him escape. Now did that make me humane or simply a fool?
“Well?” Shara waited for an answer with her arms folded. She still had on the same outfit she’d worn when we escaped Cessri, her waitress attire. The white shirt beneath her black bodice was spotted with dirt. Her dusky dress had a layer of grime on its base. The waves of her dark hair had become closer to bundles of tangles, yet I still could see the same innocence in her face as when I first met her.
“If I knew I could get out of being robbed by using pyforial energy, I would have. But I wouldn’t have killed the man unless I needed to in self-defense. I would’ve ris
ked any repercussions that would cause.” This next part was hard to admit to someone as pure and good as Shara. “I would kill someone with it, though. I’m warning you now. If I ever see Swenn, I’ll confront him about what happened. If we fight, we fight. If he dies in the process, he dies. If you can’t stand by a pyforial mage who might use the energy for what I would call justice, then we can part ways now.”
Her eyes squinted as if my words caused physical pain. “You’re asking me to give you permission to kill someone. I can’t do that, no matter who it is.”
“I’m not asking for permission. I’m asking that you don’t interfere.”
“There’s a fine line between the two in this case. I can’t promise anything except that I have no intention of reporting you. If we run into Swenn—” She stopped herself for a sigh. “If we run into Swenn, I’ll support you in reporting him for his crime. But I cannot support you in killing another person.”
“What about the red priest and his army? You easily might’ve killed the swordsman you took off his mount with a fireball.”
“I’ll kill if I must to save an innocent life, though I would never instigate a fight as you would with Swenn.”
I could feel myself coming unhinged, hot with frustration. I took a slow breath before continuing. “All these rules you’ve set for yourself are likely to get you hurt or killed when you could’ve stood up for yourself.”
“Perhaps. But without rules like these, how are we different from animals?”
“Some people aren’t.”
“That doesn’t change how I feel.” Her peremptory tone and hard look told me that nothing I could say would convince her to disregard these rules.
“Fine.” I pulled off my shirt. “I’m going to find that dalion now.” The conversation had left me hot and annoyed, but the air felt cool on my back. As I started to loosen my belt, she turned away.
“Depending how deep the lake is, we could be here for weeks before you find it.”