by S. J. Sylvis
I ping-ponged my attention to a man leaving Madeline’s porch and to her fading headlights before I shook my head and turned my key in the ignition.
Nope. I didn’t even want to fucking know.
Things were off with Madeline; that much was made very clear to me in the last several months, but that was her problem.
She didn’t help me when I had problems, and I wasn’t helping her.
It was as simple as that.
A commotion near the lunch line had me pausing with the banana in my mouth. My teeth sunk into the softness as my eyes skimmed over everyone, who was also rubbernecking it over to the loud bang. I bit off the end of the banana, chewing slowly as I watched Madeline sigh dramatically as she bent down to the floor to pick up the contents of her tray. A brown-haired girl, someone I was sure Madeline had bullied in the past, was laughing from behind her. The girl huddled in with her friends as they pointed and laughed even harder at Madeline as she scooped each and every last spaghetti noodle back onto her tray. I took my gaze off Madeline and turned to look at my friends.
“I feel bad for her,” Hayley mumbled, stealing a fry off Christian’s tray.
He pushed it over to her, urging her to take more, when he asked, “Who? Surely you’re not talking about Madeline.”
Ollie, Christian’s brother, scoffed. “How can you feel bad for her? She was such a crazy bitch to you, Hayley.” He paused. “She was a crazy bitch to everyone.”
He wasn’t wrong. Madeline was a bitch to Hayley and everyone else. She would tear others down to the ground, flip her blonde hair over her shoulder, and go about her day.
Hayley shrugged, wiping her hands on her school blouse. “She was definitely mean to me. A big bitch, to be frank. But…”
“There’s a but? From you?” Christian asked, leaning forward onto the lunch table and looking at her like she was fucking delusional. His eyebrows rose to his hairline. “She dumped food onto your uniform your first day at English Prep.”
Hayley raised her eyebrows right back at him, giving him a stern look. “Because you told her to.”
Christian was Madeline’s ex-boyfriend. The two of them were quite the power couple, although their relationship was nothing more than a show. I didn’t know that for certain, not really wanting details about my best friend and the girl I once looked at with stars in my eyes, but Christian had never looked at Madeline the way he looked at Hayley. And Madeline had never looked at Christian the way she looked at me.
But that was then. This was now. Madeline didn’t look at anyone anymore. Not really.
Piper, Hayley’s best friend, snickered under her breath before burrowing her face in Ollie’s neck.
“That’s not fair,” Christian groaned. “I had a reason to bully you. She did not.”
Hayley sparred off with him. “So what? You’re the only one allowed to be mean to me?”
He nodded with confidence. “That’s right.”
Hayley rolled her eyes, dismissing him quickly. “I’m just saying, I feel bad for her. There’s a reason she’s mean to everyone. I can see it.”
“I don’t know about that,” Christian bemused. “I think she’s just a cold bitch.”
I swallowed my soda slowly, shifting my eyes to Madeline at her lone lunch table by the trash cans and then back to Hayley and Christian arguing about her.
“You can’t judge a book by its cover, Christian. You should know that by now.”
He chuckled. “I’ve been in between her pages. She has no excuse.”
Piper gasped as Hayley turned to look at him once more. I waited with a slack jaw to see how Hayley would retaliate. Those two had a weird relationship. They fucking loved each other, but sometimes their little playful fights got dirty.
Christian was a dick, but Hayley didn’t take his shit.
It was entertaining, to say the least.
“But”—she leaned in close to his face, her mouth almost touching his—“did you happen to read those pages, Christian?”
I watched him gulp back a feral growl. Hayley knew how to press his buttons and how to make him swallow his words. Leaning back in my chair, I crossed my arms and grinned.
Hayley’s hands clamped down onto Christian’s thighs, really fucking close to his dick, as she waited for his answer.
Piper was smashing her lips together as she glanced up from the crook of Ollie’s neck, who was barely keeping himself from laughing.
Christian licked his lips before smirking. “I didn’t read her pages like I read yours…”
Hayley smiled before pecking him on the mouth. “Good answer.”
A few seconds went by with everyone laughing at their show before Hayley turned her attention to me. “What are your views on it, Eric? You’re awfully quiet over there.”
My mouth slammed shut as I flicked my eyes up to Piper. She quickly glanced away, not meeting my eye.
Unfortunately, Piper knew there was something going on with me when it came to Madeline. She was observant. Too observant. She knew I watched Madeline like a hawk. She knew that Madeline dove underneath my skin and made me itch with unease. I was guessing that Piper had told Hayley.
Those two were trouble sometimes. But not the type of trouble that Madeline was.
I huffed out a breath, pushing my tray away with force before announcing—very loudly, might I add—what I thought about Madeline. “I think Madeline is a selfish bitch who only thinks of herself. She deserves every bit of what she’s getting.”
Something flew through my veins with my words—something similar to unease, guilt even. But I pushed it away as I found her stoic, yet soft face staring at me from her lunch table.
We kept a hold of each other’s stares for no more than a passing second, but in that second, I saw a whole lot of emotion pass behind her blue eyes.
“Damn straight,” Christian grunted, throwing up his fist to pound mine.
When I dropped my hand with a smirk, I glanced back at Madeline, but she was quickly leaving the lunch room, her plaid skirt swaying and her shoulders bunched up to her ears.
Before she walked through the doors, she paused and glanced down at her phone. Her shoulders dropped in a whoosh with what appeared to be relief.
I couldn’t help my eyebrows crowding in together, wondering just what was on her phone that seemed to make her relax.
My jaw popped as I glanced away, ignoring all the weird signs that Madeline was giving off the last few months.
I don’t care.
She didn't deserve the amount of thoughts I gave her. Madeline was like a passing season, changing every so often, only to leave you longing for more. But I was through longing for Madeline. That boat shipped out years ago.
Chapter Three
Madeline
Sky: For fucks’ sake, Madeline. 2418 East Corbin St. Alpha Phi frat house tonight at 9pm. He goes by Atticus. He’ll be waiting for you. I took off after Tank got arrested. I’m not selling anymore. Cops have been snooping around. Don’t text me anymore.
Relief. Instant relief. That text couldn’t have come at a better time, either. As soon as I got home from school, I rushed upstairs, thankful there were no new vehicles parked out front, and I stripped out of my uniform. I kicked my navy blazer and skirt halfway across my room and ran over to my closet, pulling on my black mini and fishnet tights. I pulled my oversized cream sweater down off the hanger, tucking it into the front of my skirt, and slipped on my black Doc Martens. Hair spray coated the top of my head and washed down to my shoulders as I fluffed my hair up. My red lipstick went on smooth, and my concealer hid the dark-gray color underneath my eyes.
There.
I looked hot. I looked the part of a college girl instead of some loser high schooler walking into a frat party to score some drugs that weren’t even the good kind.
All I needed was some sleep, and I’d feel better. All I needed was one good night’s worth of blissful shuteye, and my head wouldn’t be so fuzzy. I wouldn’t feel so anxious.
I shoved my phone and keys into my cross-body purse and checked out my window once more to make sure no creepy guys were making their way to our front door.
One in particular.
Two, if you counted my own father who hadn’t been home in months.
The tightly coiled nerves in my belly loosened as I saw that the coast was clear. I quickly glanced at Eric’s Range Rover parked in his driveway. Why did I glance at Eric’s car? I had no idea. I just couldn’t help wondering what he was doing and if he was home.
It was a sickness, thinking about the guy who hated me the most, but whatever.
The second my Doc Martens stepped foot on the landing below the last step, my mom’s voice called out, “Madeline? Is that you? Where are you headed? Christian’s?”
I rolled my eyes. When are you going to tell her you’re not dating Christian anymore? In fact, when are you going to tell her you’re the school loser instead of the school queen?
I put on my best smile. “Yep. I’ll be back later tonight. Bye, Mom.”
“Hey. Wait a second.”
My back went stiff as my mom came around from behind and ran her fingers through my hair. “We could probably get your hair done again. Your dad likes it when it’s light like this.”
I spun around slowly. “Does that mean he’s coming home?”
I wasn’t sure what was worse: my dad or my mother’s random one-night-stand boyfriends. Both had fear prickling my neck for two very different reasons.
My mom brushed her hand through her own platinum locks. They fell down to her hips with their shiny sleekness as she pushed them over her shoulder. Despite her behavior, my mom was actually a very pretty woman, even without all the makeup she wore. But she was also a broken woman. A woman who was lost and believed every word every man had ever told her.
Beautiful.
Sexy.
Slut.
Trash.
She didn’t know who she was or what she was. She let whatever she was feeling in the moment drive her to her actions.
You’re supposed to look up to your mother, want to become half the woman she is. But I wanted to be the complete opposite of mine. I just wasn’t sure if I ever would be. Because from where I was standing, we were two peas in a pod.
Fear and dread. We both felt it, and we were both trapped by it.
“I’m not sure when he’ll be home next, but it’s always best to be prepared.” She winked at me with a warm smile, but it lacked any real emotion.
“And how prepared are you to explain to Dad why another man is in your bed every night?”
My mom's green eyes fell to the floor in an instant, and I hated that it was so easy for me to be cold and callous. My tone wasn’t soft. The words were cut and dry, a meanness dragging with every syllable, and it wasn’t fair. My dad scared me too. She was trapped and lonely.
I should have said sorry. I should have taken her hands in mine and told her I understood, but resentment had me stepping backwards, one foot after the other until I reached the front door. Before I turned and left, I called back to her, “I wasn’t saying that to be mean. I just want you to be prepared for an unannounced drop-in from him, and if he finds you in bed with someone else…” I swallowed back the panic in my voice. “Well, we know how that’ll end.”
My mom slapped her mouth shut and gave me a single nod before I opened the door and let the fresh air wash over my sticky skin.
This time, I made my way to my car without once glancing at Eric’s house. My mind was too wrapped up in other things to worry about what the boy next door was up to.
Chapter Four
Eric
My back rested along a dingy sofa in a large living room that had a mix of both old and new furniture. The room was dark and dull with a few standing lamps for light and one overhead light fixture that I was pretty sure had only one of three lightbulbs working, but the frat party was a nice change of pace to the cabin where most of the parties were.
Every Friday and Saturday night, I’d throw a party at my parents’ cabin on the outskirts of town, but ever since Ollie and Piper started their thing and got into some trouble with street racing, things had been slower than usual.
And not to mention, the cabin parties were becoming tiresome. I’d been with half the girls that showed up every weekend, so none of them were keeping my interest any longer, and everyone and everything seemed to be irritating me lately.
I felt myself closing off. Ollie and Christian had both asked me what was wrong, but I’d told them I was fine, because I didn’t want to talk about it.
Even the mere thought of diving into the shitstorm that my father created a few months ago made me want to chug the entire keg that was set up just a few feet away from me. Warm beer and all. I didn’t care.
But for now, I’d sit right here on this couch that likely had enough cum on it to get every single girl in this room pregnant and enjoy the fact that I was out of Pike Valley for the night and away from everyone that knew me.
Except for Jesse, who was currently playing beer pong with two girls clung to his side. He caught my attention and angled his head for me to come over all while waving a red cup full of beer in my direction.
I glanced down at my phone, seeing the text from my mom, thanking me for cleaning the house, and the three from my dad that were left unopened.
Yeah. I need a drink. Right fucking now.
“Wanna be my partner, bro?” Jesse asked, shooing the two college girls wearing skin-tight dresses away. “I’ve seen what that arm can do during football.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. You’re the one playing with the big boys now.”
He tapped my chest with the back of his hand before aligning the beer pong cups perfectly symmetrical on the table. I bounced the ping-pong ball in my hand, eager to get started so I could drink away my own fucked-up version of reality. “Bro, you’re gonna be where I am in less than a year. Did you get your acceptance letter yet?”
And with that question, I locked my jaw and stopped bouncing the ball. Of course I got my acceptance letter. UCLA had all but sucked my dick to get me to apply. With my father being an alumnus and donating his money every year, they probably didn’t even glance at the contents of my application. They saw my name and immediately put it in the “accept” pile.
The only problem now was that my father had cut me off. He hadn’t given me a dime since I’d thrown him under the bus. Don’t get me wrong, he tried to talk to me. “If you’d just talk to me so we can work this out as a family…”
But I refused. Every time I heard my mom crying or looked into her tired eyes as she worked another long shift at the hospital, unwilling to rely on my father for anything, I'd get angry all over again.
If she was gonna ice him out, so would I. I was on her side. Not his.
So anyway, according to my father, he wasn’t going to pay for my college until I grew up and talked to him. Well, I’d stay a fucking toddler for the rest of my life if it meant he’d leave us alone.
Chances were, he wouldn’t. But for now, he was staying true to his word. My bank account had slowly dwindled down to nothing.
“Dude, you good?” Jesse nudged me again, and I shook myself out of my thoughts. I leaned back and hitched one of the pong balls into a cup across the table. I grinned, my cheek rising to one side. “I’m good. Just getting in the zone.”
He laughed. “Aww, shit. I’ve seen that look before.” Then, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Oh, ladiesssss? My man Eric is in the house tonight, and let me tell ya, he’s on the fucking prowl.”
Several girls cat-called throughout the room, a ripple of high-pitched voices straining against my e
ars. I wasn’t going to lie; my dick twitched at the thought.
New pussy.
Fresh meat to take my mind off the only one at English Prep that continued to catch my attention. The one that I swore to hate so I wouldn’t love. That pesky little unhealthy obsession of mine.
Just as I threw another ball into a cup, I caught the blur of golden hair moving through the crowd behind the opposing team.
My chest zinged with a little ping. I hated how the mere thought of her got me all twisted inside. My heart stuttered to a sudden stop when I continued watching the blonde weave through the crowd. It only took three seconds to realize it was her in the flesh, and only four to succumb to that feeling of pure exhilaration.
My, oh my… Look what the fucking cat dragged in.
So much for curbing that unhealthy obsession of mine.
A crooked smile fixed itself onto my lips as she finally glanced over her shoulder at me. Our eyes met instantaneously.
My grin did not mirror hers.
Madeline’s shadowed face lit up like a damn firecracker. Her high cheekbones blazed with a red I could see clearly from halfway across the frat party of bustling college students. I wasn’t sure if the red tint was from embarrassment or from anger. Either way, I’d take it.
I set down the cup I’d been holding and slowly brought my hand up to wave. My fingers wiggled toward her in a menacing way. I was certain the grin on my face was full of sarcasm with a sliver of malice on the side.
Madeline quickly darted away, pushing and maneuvering around groups of drunk girls clinging to equally drunk guys, to get clear away from me.
I laughed under my breath.
As if it’d be that easy to hide from me, Madeline.