by S. J. Sylvis
And me?
I sat back and waited for the show to begin.
If Madeline felt even a fraction of what I felt for her, she’d be here soon.
Chapter Forty-One
Madeline
My hand shook like a leaf as I stared at the photo. I hated social media because I knew how fake it was, but I also knew it was like crack to teenagers—mainly because it used to be crack to me.
As soon as I got Eric’s text, my heart dropped to the floor. It bled out all over the place, jealousy oozing from every open vessel.
Then, once I gained my composure again, realizing he was likely trying to get to me, I pulled up Missy’s IG account, and that was when my entire body froze.
Eric’s head was entirely too close to her stupid, perky boobs. He had a beer in one hand, and the other was wrapped around her waist as she sat on his lap.
Fire coated my skin, and heat stung my scalp. Jumping up from my bed, I began pacing my bedroom floor.
This was better.
He should be with someone else.
Someone who wasn’t fucked up like me.
Someone who didn’t have a diary-worth of drama at her back door.
Someone who the entire fucking school didn’t hate.
Nope.
Didn’t care.
I stomped over to my closet, briefly glancing at the glow-in-the-dark stars before pulling down my dusty-pink long-sleeve sweater and tight black mini. I threw on my Doc Martens, lacing them quickly, and slathered on some cherry lip gloss.
I was being driven by mad envy, and despite the rational part of my brain that knew very well if I showed up at the party, ripping Missy off Eric's lap, I’d be labeled as much more than the school leper, I still pushed my car into drive and headed to the cabin.
Eric knew what he was doing.
And I was falling right into his trap.
I parked at the very end of the gravel drive below the cabin, off to the side some, in case I needed to make a fast getaway.
My feet stopped for a second. There will be no fast getaway. If I was going to do this, I was going to do this right. For months, I’d been cowering. My mouth had stayed shut; my head had stayed down. I’d let everyone walk all over me. I’d let them call me a slut; ignored them when they threw garbage in my locker. My crown was crooked, and I didn’t have the energy to straighten it.
Eric was pushing me into a territory that I didn’t necessarily want to be in any longer, but I’d learned that, when it came to him, I had no say. I was going to walk into Piper’s birthday party with confidence and look him and everyone else right in the eye.
And if Missy was on his lap, I’d tear her off. Not because I wanted to fall into that “mean girl” status again, but because I truly had no self-restraint. Fucking me the night before and then cozying up with Missy. The audacity.
The gravel crunched under my boots, my heart flying through my chest. I was nervous, but my need to show everyone that Eric was mine far outweighed the jitters.
I felt a small piece of the old Madeline shift back into place, and I liked it. I liked having a purpose again.
The door swung open, and I pushed my blonde hair behind my shoulder. My lips tasted like cherries as I ran my tongue over them, scanning the cabin as I walked into a full-fledged war.
Jaws dropped.
Eyes widened.
Not a single person spoke. The only voice was Juice Wrld as he rang out through the speakers.
I found Eric instantly, my eyes going right to the place we were in last night, naked and panting like rabid animals.
Of course that was where he chose to sit.
The smirk on his face widened the longer we stared at each other, and it made me hot. I was angry but also a little exhilarated.
I peeled my eyes away when I heard a feminine voice whisper, “What is she doing here?”
Missy was the source of the voice. She was halfway across the room, with one of the football player’s arms draped over her shoulders.
Eric tricked me. He lured me here.
I sliced my gaze back to his, and he shrugged innocently.
Walking farther into the cabin, I kept my chin straight and my shoulders level. I’d have been lying if I said it wasn’t intimidating to be standing in a room full of people I’d once bullied for my own benefit. It made my back sticky and my stomach knotty. But it felt right. Like it was a step in the right direction.
I moved into the kitchen area, with everyone still gazing at me as if I were in the spotlight on a stage all by myself. Someone had cut the music, and if there were a microphone, now would have been the time to tap it a few times before speaking.
Piper and Ollie were standing at the counter, each with a plate of cake in their hands. She was wearing a headband that had a birthday crown on it, looking like her adorable, sweet self. I hated myself for being mean to her.
“I’m sorry to crash your birthday party, Piper.” I reached into my Doc Marten and pulled out a gift card that was stuffed between my sock and boot. I slid it over the counter, and it landed right below her levitating plate of cake. She moved the plate out of the way and glanced down. “Happy birthday. I know you like iced coffee, so…”
She looked up at me briefly before looking down again. I heard murmurs around us. “You got me a birthday present?”
I glanced around. I wasn’t good at being nice. It made me squirm, but it was the least I could do with crashing a party I wasn’t invited to. Piper was nice. If it were anyone else, I might not have cared.
“It’s for one hundred dollars…”
I shifted nervously before I crossed my arms and shrugged. Was that too much?
She stared at me and then glanced at Hayley across the room who lifted a shoulder with her lips rising. Piper reached her hand down and slid the card toward her and placed it in her back pocket. “Okay…well, thanks.”
I gave her a nod and said, “I’ll be gone soon. I just need to go smack Eric, and then I’ll leave. I’m sorry for crashing your birthday party.”
No one laughed except Hayley. Piper smashed her lips closed with a faint chuckle. “Stay as long as you’d like.”
“But no one wants her here,” someone said from across the room. I didn’t even want to know who said it.
Hayley’s voice cut through the room. “It’s Piper’s party and Eric’s cabin. If they say she can stay, then she can stay.”
I silently thanked Hayley with my eyes, and she barely gave me a swift nod.
Then, I shifted my eyes to Eric, again, who was still doing that annoyingly attractive bad-boy smirk.
I narrowed my eyes, and he hitched an eyebrow as if asking me what I was going to do.
The room began to feel heavy, everyone watching our stare-off. My feet pulled me forward, stepping over a few empty cups, and before I knew it, I was standing right in front of him. Our knees brushed as he sat forward on the couch, peering up at me with his dark eyelashes fanning over his cheeks.
“Interesting place to sit,” I said, looking down at him from above.
“Sure is,” he answered lazily.
His hand wrapped around the back of my thigh, and a few people gasped. I hated that we were putting on a show for everyone, which was so surreal because, before Christian and I broke up, that was all we ever did. We put on a show for everyone to keep up our statuses.
“You’re forcing me into being the person I wanted to bury, Eric.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, tilting his head to get a better look at me.
Mostly everyone was staring at us, even Hayley and Christian.
“For a second there, I thought I was going to have to come in here and tear Missy off your lap by her hair.” Someone gasped, likely her. “And that’s not who I am anymore. I don’t want to be that girl who inflicts pain and mortification on others. I don’t want to be that version of myself anymore.”
I said the last part quieter, because it was embarrassing to admit, especially in front of all t
hese people.
Eric pulled himself to a standing position as he gripped me by the hips. My heart climbed to my throat as I looked up at him. A dense feeling of vulnerability clogged my senses, and I didn’t like it. “I think I’d take a combo of the two. I like every version of you.” His eyes softened around the edges, and suddenly, I didn’t care about anything else, except him.
“Let’s go,” I whispered, grabbing onto his wrist.
“Where are we going?”
“I don’t care. I just want everyone in this room to know you’re mine.”
He smirked as I glanced back at him. “Challenge accepted.” Then, he pulled his wrist back, spun me around, and lifted me up by my butt and wrapped my legs around his waist. I kept the shock hidden from my face, but he grinned at me like he was going to devour me in front of every single person in this room. His head buried into the crook of my neck, my hair eclipsing him from the rest of the room. His breath was warm as it hit my sensitive skin. “Let’s go fuck, and let’s be as loud as possible. That’s a sure way to let everyone know.”
My core sparked, and I pushed myself into him. His hands dug even harder into my thighs, right under my butt.
“It’s a sure way to be labeled a slut, too.” I kept my gaze on his, too swept up in the moment to see the disgust on everyone’s faces.
“No one will call you that.” He pulled back and stared at me with a dark look in his eye. “Not now.”
There was that protective boy I’d grown to crave. Who would have ever thought I would have a guy to protect me like this? So fierce and unyielding.
I licked my lips, the cherry taste coating my tongue. “Then let’s go.”
His eyes dipped to my mouth before he growled excitedly and carried me upstairs.
Chapter Forty-Two
Eric
The next morning, Madeline and I both left the cabin at the same time to get back to our houses. I pulled into my driveway at the exact moment she pulled into hers, and I was out of the driver's seat so fast I was able to pull her door open and help her out of hers. I gripped her body and pulled her over to the side, slamming the door shut. Her back hit the black paint, and her legs widened, letting my thigh sneak in.
“You act like we didn’t just have sex a few hours ago—again.” The apples of her cheeks rose, a cute pink color painting the delicate skin. Her hair was still a mess from last night, her skirt wrinkled from being thrown on the floor.
“I can’t help it,” I mumbled as I smoothed her hair down. “I told you I have a hard time keeping my hands to myself. Do you know how long I punished myself for even looking in your direction? How long I refused to picture you as I beat off?”
She half-rolled her eyes, grinning. “You had plenty of girls to fuck. Why would you need to masturbate?”
A deep chuckle reverberated out of my chest. “You just have no idea, do you?”
“What?” Her fingers slid into my belt loops.
“It didn’t matter how many girls I kissed, touched, or fucked. I was always left disappointed in the end.”
She rolled her eyes again. “How is that possible?”
I tipped her chin back and brushed my mouth over hers. “Because they weren’t you.” I sighed. “It’s always been you.”
Madeline opened her mouth to say something. Her eyes ping-ponged between mine. Something shifted between us. I felt my chest sliding open. But we both snapped our attention away when Madeline’s mom pulled into their driveway, parking right behind Madeline’s BMW.
We pulled away instantly, the moment between us breaking. Guilt crumbled her features, the dazed and swoony gleam in her eye fading.
“I gotta go talk with my mom…about the other night with my dad.” I glanced behind me to my house. “She’s waiting to talk to me before she sleeps from her shift last night.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at Madeline’s mom. I didn’t want to. So as soon as Madeline nodded, I turned on my heel and jogged up my porch steps without another glance back.
“Mom,” I shouted as I walked through the front door, shoving my keys in my pocket. “I’m home.”
“Hey, baby,” she answered. “I’m in the kitchen.”
The scent of coffee wafted throughout the foyer, dragging me to where she was with two steaming mugs sitting on the counter.
“Thanks.” I reached out and grabbed one, wrapping my hand around the ceramic.
My mom was nervous, that much I could tell, and that didn’t particularly sit well with me because that meant whatever she was about to say was going to be the wrong fucking thing.
“Did you have fun at the cabin?”
I drank a sip, locking onto her worried eyes. “I did. Surprised Dad hasn’t banned me from it yet. He’s taken everything else.”
She placed her mug down, the clank an unwelcome sound to my ears. “We need to talk about your father.”
I strode over to the kitchen table, placing my mug down on top. I was pretty sure I needed something to ground me with the increasing look of apprehension in her eyes. “That’s why I’m here at 8 am on a Saturday, Mom.” My eyebrow lifted as I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms over my chest. I could feel the beating of my heart behind my rib cage.
“Your father and I have decided to work on things.”
What I imagined in my head was shooting up from the table and freaking the fuck out, stomping back and forth while reminding her that I had to listen to her cry in her bedroom for months and months, and how I watched her work herself to death at the hospital just so she had something to do other than deal with his bullshit.
“I know you’re upset,” she said, her voice wobbly.
“Damn right, I am.” I pierced her with a look. “He hurt you.”
Her gaze shifted to her mug. “And he hurt you.”
Yeah, he fucking did.
“But you have to understand. I’ve known your father for many, many years, Eric. We’ve been through a lot of ups and downs.” She sighed, and I couldn’t even look at her.
It wasn’t my decision to make. I was their son, not their fucking marriage counselor. But the thought of him coming back into our lives like he hadn’t done a single thing wrong made my blood run hot. “It’s just…” She paused, surely waiting for me to look at her, but I wouldn’t.
I stood up quickly, the chair scraping the floor beneath my feet. “You don’t need to explain.” The breath I inhaled felt like breathing in a million little shards of glass as I reeled in my anger. “I need to know if he’s moving back in, because if he is…” I glanced through the kitchen window above our sink, peering at Madeline’s house.
“No!” she rushed out. “We’re working on things, but that doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. He’s still going to live in the city, and we will live here—well, I will, because come fall, you’re going to college.”
“Maybe.”
She gave me a look. “What does that mean?”
“Dad said he wouldn’t pay for my college if I didn’t stop ignoring him.”
She shook her head. “That’s not true, but I do think you need to talk to him, Eric.” My mom tiptoed over to me on her quiet feet and gave me a hug from behind. “He wants to apologize.”
He probably only told her that to make her happy, because so far, my father hadn’t even recognized that he fucked up. He’d only sent angry, threatening texts since the day my mom threw him out.
When my mom pulled back, I finally turned and looked at her. I was antsy on the inside, annoyed and frustrated, but I didn’t show her that. “As long as you’re happy, I’m good, Mom.” I began pulling away and started down the hall. “But just because you forgive him, doesn’t mean I do.”
Because how can you forgive someone who doesn’t even have the decency to admit they’re wrong?
Chapter Forty-Three
Madeline
Eric- No Netflix and chill tonight with my mom. She got called into work.
My heart jumped. Finally. I’d been waiting fo
r Eric to text me since he bolted to his house this morning when my mom pulled up from “a night with a friend”. Which really meant she’d stayed at some man’s house instead of bringing him home.
I couldn’t really be mad about that, because at least she wasn’t bringing them near me anymore, but at the same time, I wanted to shake her and ask why we hadn’t just left. But every time I’d bring up my father or ask about him in any way whatsoever, she’d leave the room while mumbling about not wanting to talk about it.
She didn’t even ask about Eric and me this morning. She brushed right past it, as if she hadn’t slept with his father.
Pushing the thought of my mom away, I texted Eric back.
Me: So does this mean we can’t Netflix and chill, or…?
Eric: I’m already walking over. Unlock your bedroom door.
I instantly got giddy. Last night was a crazy whirlwind between us. From me walking into the cabin, reinstating myself with everyone, claiming Eric without caring who saw. After the high wore off this morning, I panicked a little. I wasn’t sure how school would look on Monday, but what was done was done.
I was in this. Selfish or not.
After unlocking my bedroom door, I ran over to my window and peered down at Eric walking through the dewy grass. He was wearing dark-gray joggers, his Nikes, and a dark hoodie with the hood pulled up. He didn’t glance at my window, but before long, I heard him climbing the steps.
My door swung open, and happiness started to make my skin tickle, but then he made eye contact with me, and my happiness faded.
“What’s wrong?” I slowly crept toward him as he glanced to the floor. He sighed loudly, his fists clenched by his sides. “Is it about your dad? What did your mom say this morning?”
I wanted to text him and ask how things went, but I didn’t want to seem clingy. I’d never been a real girlfriend before, which sounded so pathetic, but Christian and I were never like that. We never pried into each other's lives—precisely why we stayed in our fake, apathetic relationship for so long.