by S. J. Sylvis
That rage that was beginning to blind me before? Well, it completely took over, and everything went dark.
Chapter Forty-Five
Madeline
This is karma. I should have known that karma wasn’t finished with me. She was a sneaky bitch, and the very second I had let my guard down, she came back around like a black cat in an abandoned alleyway.
Why was he here?
Sweat trickled down past my forehead, leaving a streak of wetness all the way to my chin.
Did he come here on purpose?
My body trembled in the empty stall, my hands resting on the navy tiled wall above the toilet.
Was it a coincidence?
I couldn’t breathe. Oxygen was nonexistent. Images and ugly feelings of fear and guilt and weakness were coming down on me hard, and there was no way to protect myself.
None at all.
My eyes watered as I bent over the toilet and threw up. I coughed and sputtered, clawing at my lungs to let air in.
What if he was still out there?
I shook my head. He couldn’t get to me. This wasn’t my dark bedroom in the middle of the night. There were lights and a wide-open room with lots of eyes.
Suddenly, the stall began to feel very claustrophobic. My hand messed with the lock a few times before it finally swung open, and I fell to my knees on the hard tile, trying to get away from the small space.
“Madeline!”
“Oh my God. Are you okay?”
I flew to my butt, my palms landing on the floor behind me. My body shook again, trembling in a way that I couldn’t seem to get a handle on.
Oh my God. Why can’t I stop shaking?
Piper’s face was a mix between worry and pity as she glanced at Hayley. “She’s as white as a ghost.”
“Get a wet paper towel.” Hayley bent down and grabbed my chin gently. “Hey, take a breath, Madeline. It’s okay.”
I shook my head. I can’t breathe.
Bile coated my tongue, and my hands went around my throat as I rubbed up and down. I gasped as more tears clouded my vision.
“Look at me.” I locked onto Hayley’s face as something cold hit my forehead. Piper shushed me, and I realized right then how lucky they were to have each other. To have a best friend. “Tell me what you see, Madeline. What do you see?”
You…being too nice to me.
“Nice,” I choked out.
Her brow furrowed as she brushed her dark hair away. “What do you feel? Touch something. Bring yourself back down to the ground.”
I shot my hand up and touched the coldness on my forehead. It was the wet paper towel from Piper. It was comforting. “Cold. Wet.”
“Good,” Hayley encouraged. “That’s good. What do you smell?”
“Puke.”
Hayley smiled behind a laugh as Piper went behind her and flushed the toilet.
“There you go,” she said, putting her hands on mine. “Just take deep breaths.”
I nodded, feeling comforted that my chest was rising and falling again. Breathing was getting easier. My state of panic was lessening.
“You’re good at that,” Piper whispered, coming behind Hayley.
“Christian and Ollie helped me through a panic attack once. I remembered what they did.”
All three of us stayed huddled for a few minutes, breathing together like we were taking a meditation class. Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.
I couldn’t even wrap my head around the situation I was in. Hayley and Piper were in the bathroom with me, helping me, being nice to me, and I didn’t even have the energy to care that they were seeing me like this.
In fact, I almost wanted to cling onto them.
Wait.
“Where’s Eric?” I asked, getting to my feet with the help of Piper.
Hayley paused. Her lips rubbed together as she looked to Piper for help.
There was a zip of panic that tore down my spine. Wait.
“He sent us in here to help you.”
“What do you mean?”
Piper leaned back onto the sink, crossing her arms over her navy blazer. I couldn’t bring myself to look at my reflection in the mirror behind her. “Well…” She looked uncomfortable. “He saw you kind of…freak out. The entire cafeteria did, actually.”
Oh, no. No. No. No.
“Tell me he didn’t…” My hand flung to my mouth as I tried to calm my breathing.
Hayley’s phone pinged, and she pulled it out of the pocket on her blazer. Piper and I both ran behind her shoulder to read the text. She didn’t even bother hiding it.
Christian: Eric’s in deep shit. Pretty sure the guy is gonna press charges. Eric fucked him up. Is Madeline okay? Eric won’t settle the fuck down until I answer him, and Headmaster Walton is likely to die of a heart attack if he doesn’t.
“Oh my God.” I covered my face with the palms of my hands. “This is bad. This is really bad.”
“Madeline.” Hayley pulled my hands down. “What happened?”
I stared into her emerald eyes. “This is bad, Hayley. This is so bad. What am I going to do?” I shut my eyes, wanting to disappear. “This is exactly why I told him to stay away from me! What if the headmaster tells my dad?!”
“Who was that guy?” Hayley asked again. “What did he do to you?”
I snapped my attention to hers. “He fucking raped me, okay? He raped me.”
Her shoulders dropped, but she kept her hands wrapped around my wrists. Piper gasped.
“I know what you’re thinking.” My voice shook as I tried to keep myself steady. “I deserved it…after I made up that rumor.”
Silent tears rolled down my cheeks and fell onto our joined hands.
“It’s karma,” I said. “I know.”
Hayley and Piper didn’t say anything, and it made me feel even worse. I didn’t necessarily want them to say I was wrong; I actually think I would have felt better if they said I was right. But their silence ate away at me.
The bell rang out above our heads, but none of us moved.
Hayley finally dropped my hands, and I kept my gaze on our joined shoes.
“What do I do?” I asked the question to no one in particular. Was I supposed to go to the office? Should I make sure Eric was okay? That stupid fucking protective boy! Look at what I got him into.
All three of our heads swayed to the intercom speaker just above the bathroom door when it echoed, “Madeline Haynes to Headmaster Walton’s office.”
Oh, shit.
Hayley placed her hands on my shoulders. Her gaze was steely and determined. “Keep your chin up. Don’t you dare show that piece of shit that he made you weak. That’s not you, Madeline.”
Piper shot me a reassuring nod, and she came over to run her fingers down my hair, smoothing out the wild mess that I was sure it was.
I nodded once Hayley’s hands dropped. A shaky breath left my chest, and I turned around.
“Madeline,” Hayley said as I stood with my hand on the door. I glanced over my shoulder, and she and Piper were staring at me. “No one deserves that. We’re here for you, okay?” Piper nodded, and I hoped they could tell how much their words meant to me before I turned around and trudged up to the office.
Here we fucking go.
Chapter Forty-Six
Eric
“Hayley said she’s okay, so calm the fuck down so I can talk Headmaster Walton down a few notches.” Christian’s voice was a low rumble, only loud enough for me and Ollie to hear.
“It’s not fucking Headmaster Walton you need to calm down. It’s that fucker who’s hopefully bleeding out in his office right now.”
His blood was still on my knuckles, dried now, but it was still there. I smeared it on my shirt again, trying to wipe the evidence off, which was no use because everyone in the lunchroom saw the fight. My eye was swelling shut, but I didn’t care. He was worse off than me.
Was he bigger than me?
Not by much, but he was.
Was he stron
ger?
Maybe.
But when someone you love was threatened, you gained undeniable strength.
“Eric.” I swung my gaze forward when my father’s voice boomed through the small office. Mrs. Boyd, the receptionist, paged Headmaster Walton the second she saw my father walk in.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked, standing up.
His eyes immediately went to my eye, and he clenched his jaw tight, putting his hands in his pockets. “They couldn’t get a hold of your mother, so they called me. What the hell happened?” He was angry, but I was angrier. “Is this about me? Are you fighting now to get my attention?”
I scoffed, slamming myself back in the seat. “Yeah, Dad. That’s exactly why I beat a grown man’s face in. Because I wanted my daddy to come save me.” Fucking idiot.
“A grown man? What?” The muscles holding his tight expression fell. “For fuck’s sake. Did you beat a teacher up?”
Ollie laughed under his breath.
Mrs. Boyd spoke up from her desk. “He assaulted one of our board members.”
My father’s face blanched. “Are you—” Just then, the door swung open, and Madeline’s mom walked in.
Just fucking perfect. My father took a step back. “What are you doing here?”
Madeline’s mom took in the scene quickly, noting my swollen face and bloody shirt. Her eyes ran over my father, searching his face with a frantic look, and then down to his knuckles.
“Who?” she asked me, ignoring my dad.
In a stone-cold manner, I answered her vague question. “He drives a red Porsche. Didn’t quite catch his name. You should know that he was one of your boyfriends, though.”
The headmaster must have given her a run-down, because she knew what I was referring to when she asked the question.
“What is going on?” my father demanded, standing up even taller, looking from me to Madeline’s mom. Before anyone could answer him, the door to Headmaster Walton’s office opened, and he stood there, cherry-faced, glaring at me. “Your son assaulted one of the board members, that’s what’s going on.”
I stood up quickly, angry all over again. “Did you catch the reason?” I shouted. “Did you ask him why I attacked him?”
Madeline’s mom’s dainty voice squeaked from beside me. “Where is my daughter?”
“I’d like to know the same,” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest before sending Headmaster Walton a glare. “Where is the actual victim in this situation? Has anyone even fucking checked on her?”
“Victim?” my father asked.
This time, I turned to my dad and answered, “Yeah, Dad. That board member in there? The one threatening charges? He raped Madeline. So I retaliated.”
He held my stare, and I expected him to glower at me or look disappointed, but instead, his shoulders dropped slightly. There was a dip in his cool expression for a single, fleeting second before he turned and looked back at Headmaster Walton.
“I suggest you find my daughter.” Madeline’s mom was on the smaller side, a Tinker Bell look-alike except with longer hair, but even I could feel her anger from across the room.
We all turned when the office door opened again, and in walked Madeline.
It felt like I’d been shot in the chest. Her mascara was skewed, no sign of life in her eyes at all.
Her mom choked on a cry as she wrapped her arms around her slender torso. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She kept repeating herself, over and over again, getting more and more worked up, and everyone in the room was uncomfortable. Headmaster Walton cleared his throat, but Madeline’s mom didn’t even acknowledge it. She pulled back, holding onto Madeline’s tear-streaked face.
Look at me, babe. I needed Madeline to look at me.
Her mom’s voice shook. “You do not have to go into that office, Madeline. We can leave right now.”
Headmaster Walton cleared his throat again, this time louder. My father stood in front of Madeline and her mom, almost blocking them from him. I wasn’t sure if he was protecting them from him or the other way around.
I switched my gaze back to Madeline, but she still wouldn’t look at me. Why won’t you look at me?
“Is he pressing charges?” Madeline directed her question to Headmaster Walton, brushing her mother away.
Headmaster Walton nodded. “That’s what he’s stating, yes.”
“Madeline,” I warned.
She ignored me. “Tell him I won’t go to the police if he drops the charges.”
“You have no proof.” The man came out from behind Headmaster Walton’s half-opened door like a scheming snake, and I snarled.
“Don’t fucking talk to her. Don’t even fucking look at her.” My voice shook the room. My father stood in front of me as Christian grabbed onto my forearm. He was standing now, along with Ollie.
Madeline took a step toward the man, everyone watching her command the room with bated breath. “How do you know?” she asked. I could hear the fear in her voice, but I could hear the strength too. “Do you really want to take a gamble on whether I have proof or not? How do you know I didn’t go to the hospital after you left?”
The fucker was still sporting a busted nose and lip. Blood was dried on his crisp white dress shirt, just like mine. I should have broken his fucking arms. He scowled, knowing that the entire room would know what a piece of shit he was if he took her bait. But did he have a choice? Would he take a gamble on her threat?
“Drop the charges,” she urged. “Or I swear to God I will go down to the police station right now and tell them all about you sneaking into my room, whispering in my ear that I wanted you even when I said no. And how you put your hand over my mouth and pulled my pants down, all while my mother was asleep in the next fucking room.”
My father’s shoulders tensed, and his fists clenched. “I’d take her offer, and if I were you, I’d leave this room immediately.”
Headmaster Walton shifted his attention from Madeline to the board member, waiting. Everyone was waiting.
The man finally grunted, walking back into Headmaster Walton’s office for a moment before coming back out with his jacket clenched in his busted knuckles. Madeline shifted on her feet as she made way for him to walk through. Her head turned to the side with disgust, or fear, maybe both, as he breezed by. She grabbed onto her mom’s wrist, pulling her back, as she was about to follow him out with her quaking anger.
“Don’t, Mom,” she whispered. “Let’s just go home. Please.”
Her mom’s eyes watered as she took in Madeline’s request. Her lips trembled, and a brief gasp of air left her as she tried to gather herself. Then she nodded once, and as soon as we heard squealing tires sound out, they both turned to leave.
“Madeline.” I rushed forward, but she pulled her mom even faster, trying to get away from me. “Madeline, look at me.”
Her head barely turned, and we caught eyes. Fear. She was battling something behind those blue eyes; I could see it plain as day. What are you afraid of, baby?
“Don’t you dare,” I whispered. Don’t you fucking dare shut me out. Not now.
She licked her trembling bottom lip, shifting her gaze to everyone else in the room. Her light locks swayed in front of her face when she continued to turn, walking through the office door with her mom without a single word to anyone.
“Give her some space, Eric.” My father came into view as I stood, staring at the spot she was just in like a lost puppy. What was she still afraid of? Was she afraid he’d come back? Was she afraid he’d somehow sneak back into her room?
I said nothing as Headmaster Walton called my father and me into his office to discuss what needed to be done about my impulsive act of violence, even given the circumstances. Mrs. Boyd gave me an ice pack for my eye and a wet rag for the blood all over my knuckles. My mom eventually showed up, and it was an entire family ordeal. I stayed silent the entire time, too stuck in my head.
The final bell rung for the day and my mom, dad, and I w
ere all headed out of the office before it hit me.
Wait.
I ran back into Headmaster Walton’s office with my mom yelling after me.
“Eric?” he asked, dropping his hand from his face. “What is it?”
“Did you call her dad?” Something I hadn’t felt since I was five gripped me by the throat.
“Madeline’s?”
I nodded, the fear only getting worse.
“Yes, I called him before I managed to get a hold of her mother. He said he was on his way, but he must have met them at home. Why?”
Madeline.
That was why she was afraid.
Fuck. What did I do?
I bolted out of the office doors, pulling my keys out of my pants as I bypassed both of my parents.
“Eric! Where are you going?”
I pushed past my peers leaving to go home for the day, some even falling to the ground in my dust. My father echoed in the background as he chased after me.
What the fuck did I do?
My hand shook as I shoved my key into the ignition and tore out of the parking lot, beeping at anyone in my way. Ollie and Christian were pushing people back, holding traffic for me to get through. They had no fucking idea what was going on, but they had my back regardless.
All I knew was that I had to get to Madeline’s house before her father got home.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Madeline
My mom drove us both home; my car was still parked at school. The entire drive to our house, she cried. Her shoulders shook as quiet tears fell. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think she did either.
Right when we pulled into the drive, she shut her car off and wiped her eyes gingerly. Her hand wandered over to mine, and she squeezed it a few times, and we sat in silence for a very, very long time. Eventually, we both got out and began walking up the steps.
“I’m okay, Mom. It’s not a big deal,” I finally said, needing to say something so the echoing hurt didn’t blind me. “And it can stay between us.”
“It’s not okay. And you father will find out, Madeline.”