by Lora Leigh
As he watched her walk away he felt the familiar guilt, reminding himself that even Kira didn’t know the truth.
He was the reason Catherine was dead. And he would never let himself forget that. Because of it, he refused to involve himself in the lives of his agents refused to allow himself a lover he worked with. Especially Tehya. Because she did make him hard. Harder, faster than any other woman in his life.
He turned back to the two-way mirror that provided a view into the training room and watched Tehya again. He had let her into the Ops, but he would never let her into his bed, or into his life.
And he swore he would never let her into his heart. Though, his fear was, she was already there.
Six years later
“Evenin’, Da.”
Riordan Malone Sr. looked up from the marble gravestone and his silent good night, his fingers caressing the sun-warmed stone as though he could reach the woman fate had taken from him so many decades before.
Wild Irish and soft as a summer morn, his Erin had given his life meaning, then she had given him two sons that a man could be proud of.
Courageous, brave, strong sons.
His eldest, Grant, may have been forced to appear less than honorable, less than courageous for a while, but he had done it to protect his own sons, and the sacrifices he had made were no less than Riordan Sr. would make himself.
His youngest son, however, the one his wee Erin had called her mini-Rory, he was the one Riordan was perhaps the most proud of.
“Jordan.” A smile tugged at Riordan’s lips. His son always approached him as though he were never certain of his reception. As though he were unaware of the power of a father’s love.
He watched as Jordan moved across the small cemetery, his long-legged, powerful form tall and strong as he walked up to his mother’s grave.
Riordan watched as Jordan touched the top of the stone lightly as he had done for so many years. In the gesture, Riordan saw things, sensed things he knew his son would never be comfortable with him knowing.
He saw a son’s regret, a man’s aching loneliness, but even harder to observe was the flash of weariness. Jordan was growing tired, and that was dangerous for a warrior.
“I miss her.” Riordan patted the stone gently as he turned his gaze from his son and stared at the marble instead.
She was his talisman, his Erin. She had been his boyhood dream, his teenage love, and finally, she had become his wife. The mother of his sons, the foundation of his soul. She’d made him swear to linger on this earth without her to see to the happiness and safety of her boys. And he’d done as she asked. He had pushed himself through each day with only that purpose in mind.
This son, ahh, but this one, he tested an old man’s strength.
He looked toward Jordan’s truck before bringing his gaze back to his son. “You’ve not brought young Tehya with you, then?” he asked.
Jordan’s jaw tightened as it always did whenever Riordan asked about the girl. As though Jordan somehow thought that if he didn’t speak of her, then he wouldn’t feel for her.
Riordan almost chuckled at the thought, but he doubted his son would appreciate it. Jordan rarely saw any amusement in his denial of the feelings he refused to show.
“She’s packing.” There was a snap to Jordan’s voice that had Riordan’s brows lifting in surprise.
He nodded. “You told me last month she would be.”
He was saddened to see that team coming to an end. They had given Jordan purpose, Riordan had often thought. And their leaving meant young Tehya would be going, as well, and that, he feared, might be the breaking point for Jordan. Without her, he feared his son would become that cold, unfeeling shadow he so seemed to want to become.
“I have a few things I have to do after everyone’s off base,” Jordan all but growled. “Do you need anything before I leave?”
Riordan shook his head. “Noah and Sabella, they take care of things.” He nodded toward the house. “Those children of theirs may give me gray hair, but I’ll be fine. I was just about to bring the groceries inside though.”
He had to grin as he thought of the miniature Nathan, or rather Noah as he was known now. Noah and Sabella’s eldest son was already the image of his da, though he had enough of his mother’s features to hide the fact he was one hundred percent Malone. Noah Blake, unknown to the world, had been Nathan Malone, Navy Seal, husband, son, grandson. Now, he was Noah Blake, husband to the wife Nathan Malone possessed before his “death.”
“I’ll get them,” Jordan said, before glancing down at the tombstone once more.
Ah, the boy had more than groceries on his mind.
Disappointment lanced him, though, as rather than speaking Jordan turned and walked toward the truck.
Watching, Riordan sighed as his son collected several bags and headed to the small cabin beyond.
“Such stubbornness, Erin,” he sighed. “He takes that after you, lass. I was never such a hardheaded man.”
He knew that if she were still standing by his side, she would be rolling her eyes in amused disbelief.
That had been his Erin.
“Ah, lass, when will he see?” he asked her softly. “Irish Eyes, he has them. He’ll never be free from her now.”
Only since the redhead had arrived at the Elite Ops base had Jordan gotten that bright sapphire color to his eyes. Irish Eyes.
They revealed more than his son would have preferred. And Miss Tehya … well, she was the cause right enough. Riordan knew his boys, and he knew their hearts. Just as he knew Jordan’s heart belonged only to that young lass.
Jordan could pretend he cared nothing for that young woman till hell froze over, but he couldn’t fool his father. He was suffering from his stubbornness and his denial. And the suffering wouldn’t ease, it would only grow worse until Jordan accepted it.
“What do we do now, Erin?” he asked. “How do we save our boy now?”
He’d been asking his wife that question for far too many years.
His fingers stroked over the stone as Jordan returned, his gaze now calm, though icy cold.
Yes, this was how Jordan handled all those pesky emotions he refused to allow himself to deal with. He froze them out.
“I’ve got to head back, Da,” Jordan told him. “Is there anything more you need?”
Riordan shook his head slowly. “Is there anything you need, Jordan?”
Jordan’s jaw clenched. “No games today, Da,” he warned him.
Riordan chuckled. “I’d like to see the lass before she’s out of our lives forever,” he said. “Once she leaves, Jordan, she’ll never come back without your invitation. I’d like to tell her goodbye.” And he’d like to assure her she always had friends, and a home to run to should she need it.
Jordan looked away for a long moment before giving a sharp nod. “I’ll let her know,” he promised, and Riordan almost grunted in mockery at the promise.
He let his boy get away with it, though. Riordan would find another way to get the message to her before she left.
When the truck had sped away, Riordan turned back to Erin’s grave.
“Far too much like you, my love,” he whispered again. “Like talking to a brick wall.” He smiled at the memories. “But a fine woman you were, Erin.”
And God knew, he missed her.
He missed her until he felt withered, lost without her as he struggled to keep his promise to her.
“Work on him, love,” he finally sighed. “Lead him in the right direction.” This time, his fingers clenched on the stone. “I’m ready to come home to ya, Erin. Help me, just this one time.”
He’d never asked it of her before, but he was damned tired.
It had been far too many years since he had seen her, far too many years since he had loved her.
He was ready to go home.
*
She was a vision of beauty.
Standing in the dim light of the silent communications room of the Elite Operations Alp
ha Base in the heart of Big Bend National Park, Tehya Talamosi looked like a woman awaiting the lover who would fulfill her naughtiest dreams. A lover who had waited far too long, and left her far too lonely if the expression on her face was any indication.
Nothing could be further from the truth, of course. Tehya was awaiting a lover who would fulfill dreams of forever, not simply those of lusty, heated sex. Tehya was a happily-ever-after woman, and he didn’t have happily-ever-after inside him.
Jordan Malone had accepted that long ago. That acceptance had sent him to the SEALs, and life as a SEAL had taught him that nothing lasted forever, and a man never let himself make friends he couldn’t bear to lose, or to have lovers that he wouldn’t be able to walk away from.
Some rules were broken day by day, but while he was in the SEALs, those were the rules he had lived by.
As the commander of Elite Operations One—the Elite Ops as they called it—, he’d remained true to one rule only. Never let himself get close to his operatives. Only one had been close to him, the nephew he had nearly lost before he’d entered the select, secretive organization.
And he’d almost broken that rule a thousand times over with this woman.
He watched her, the deserted communications room, for some odd reason, a perfect backdrop for the fact that she was barely dressed. That she was walking around looking like sex personified.
They were the only two team members left on the base now, and they both knew it. They had known it the moment the last operative left the base earlier that day.
She stood proud in the central cavernous center beneath the metal catwalk he stood on now and stared below. She would know she could dress down, dress up, or dress not at all, and no one would be aware of it but him. If he saw her. But he was supposed to be in his suite, not here, watching her from the shadows.
Not standing here, aching for her, his gut clenched with such need that he felt as though the agony were rocking through him, the denial fucking killing him.
She was barefoot, dressed in a black silk gown that dropped to her ankles, the tiny straps barely holding it up over her full breasts. She made him so damned hard his dick felt like iron.
She made him so damned hungry for a taste of her that he actually ached with it. His balls tightened painfully and his cock throbbed in demand. A demand that he go to her, that he touch her, that he take her to his bed and just fuck her. Fuck her until the hellish hunger burning inside him was sated, and the clawing need eased.
Instead, he forced himself to simply stand there, to do no more than watch her.
She stared around the room, her gaze touching on the silent computers, the darkened maps, the blank expanse of screen where satellite images had once been displayed.
And she looked lost. She looked as though she didn’t know where to turn, or where to go now that this part of her life was over.
Elite Operations One was done. The last agent had fulfilled the eight-year contract he’d signed. Several had been under twelve-year contracts, but they were finished now as well. Five men had gone their own way to live their lives in the sheltering hearts of the women who had ultimately saved them.
And where the hell did that leave him? Where did that leave Tehya?
She had dedicated six years to the Elite Operations. Pulled in at the age of twenty-four because of her contacts overseas, her practical knowledge of communications, she had eventually been given the code name Enigma. She’d been a last-minute hire, a decision made more by the agents than by Jordan, and she had immediately completed a team that hadn’t known they weren’t whole.
If it had been left up to him, she would have never wasted those tender years of her life within this mountain. She wouldn’t have wasted her life staring at computers, or immersing herself in the lives and the missions that had been played out beyond the steel and cement walls surrounding them now.
She should have been living. She should have gone to college, married, and had a house full of babies instead of hiding on the secretive, secure base of Elite Operations One.
As he watched her, she pushed her fingers through the long, heavy strands of red-gold hair that fell to her hips. He rarely saw it unbound anymore. For years she’d kept it in a tight plait, or a ponytail.
Had she worn it loose during the past years as she did tonight, then he wondered if he could have kept his hands off her for so damned long.
That hair tempted, it teased, it dared. And Jordan wasn’t a man that could turn his back on a dare.
In the six years she had worked with the Elite Ops, he’d done his best to stay the hell away from her, but he couldn’t deny she had made herself an integral part of the unit.
Tehya was the backbone of the communications center, along with Kira Richards. She had also acted as his personal assistant, and he’d be damned if he could think of anyone who could have fulfilled that job nearly as well.
It was Tehya who kept the files intact, mission information flowing, his coffee hot and plentiful, and his dick spike hard.
It was hard now. His balls tight and throbbing, his muscles tense with the effort to stay the hell away from her, to ignore the silent invitation he saw in her eyes too often.
It was an invitation he wouldn’t see any longer after the sun rose on a new day. She would be heading out, leaving the base to begin a life of her own. To learn how to simply be Teylor Johnson, a woman who had spent her life working in the back offices of a central database company. One of those nameless, faceless drones that other workers rarely if ever saw, but whom they depended upon for the various files and information she was responsible for. This was her new identity, the safety net Jordan had created for her.
She would be out of his life though. And hell if he knew how to handle that thought.
As he stood watching, Jordan’s fingers clenched when she turned, her lush hair moving in a wave of silk that tempted his fingers to tangle in the long, rioting curls.
Those long strands swayed around her as she slowly shook her head and sighed. A slow, heavy sound of regret before she turned and left the dimly lit room, unaware he that he was observing her, unaware of the hunger that tightened his expression.
There had only been a few times he had ever come truly close to Tehya. She had gone covert with him several times because of her ability to hack her way into any system and her overseas connections. During those times they had been forced into close proximity, so close that more than once they had been forced to share a bed.
Needless to say, he hadn’t slept much on those missions. And he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight, knowing they were alone, and he could have her.
She made him fuck hungry. He lived in a hellacious haze of lust at times, so damned hot for her it was all he could do to keep his cock in his pants.
He was haunted by fantasies of her naked, her eyes dazed with lust, her face flushed, as he teased and tempted and sated the lust that he knew would explode between them. Imagining her creamy flesh flush, her eyes dilate and darken. Her hips arching, pussy saturated with her juices, swollen and clenched tight, as he worked his dick inside her.
His nostrils flared at the fantasy he couldn’t ignore as the heavy steel door below slid open. It closed behind her as she passed through it, heading for the resident suites farther up the mountain.
The communications room was on the deepest level of the base. Ten stories beneath the mountain above them, heavily secured and completely hidden.
Residential suites were located just a single story beneath ground level, each set of rooms outfitted with a bedroom, bathroom, and small sitting and meal preparation area. The Elite Ops agents were well taken care of. They were the heart and soul of the nongovernment, nonmilitary, secretive group of undercover operatives. Operatives who were now gone with the exception of himself and Tehya.
Jordan had seen each operative off with a sense of envy that even he couldn’t deny. Despite his determination to remain single and to remain a doting uncle, brother, and son, he’d been envio
us of the lives his men had waiting for them. The wives, the children. The freedom to laugh and to love.
It was a freedom Tehya hadn’t sought out, though each year he had lived in fear that she would, wondering if he could let her go when she made the request.
Hell, letting her go now was something he was finding impossible to do. He was the reason she was still here. He had kept her busy, kept her working, ensuring she had been delayed and the last to leave. Ensuring he didn’t have to release his grip on her until the very last possible second before the new team moved in to take over the base.
And why had he kept her there? He’d avoided her this entire, final week. He’d watched her from afar, jacked off at night when the fucking lust was close to breaking his control, and kept telling himself he could let her go.
And still, he was fighting it. Still, he was trying to find ways to hold her here when he knew he had finally run out of time.
Shaking his head at the futility of the hunger tearing at his control, he pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants and finished his final inspection before leaving himself.
The next morning would see him walking away from the base, perhaps for the last time.
He had the option of returning and heading the new team, with the new commander working as his second in command. Killian Reece had no problems with Jordan assuming command of the base and operations.
It was a decision he had less than a month to make. He could go another twelve years or he could back off, find a place for himself within the world as a civilian and find a life.
The only problem was, he couldn’t imagine life outside this mountain, without Tehya running his life to some extent. Without her tormenting him with her pert smile and sassy-as-hell comebacks that made his dick harder than hell with the need to fuck her into submission.
Son of a bitch.
He shifted the hardened length of his cock as he stepped into the elevator at the end of the steel and iron walkway and pushed the button for the residential level. The thought of her leaving had that need ripping through him with a force that damned near cramped his dick. He had the urge to go to her, to jerk her to him, lift her, wrap those incredible legs around his hips and pound into her.