Chapter Sixteen - Lisa
“Then I’ll come with you,” I said immediately, not caring at that moment about school, or how Jenny would manage with Mama, or anything else for that matter. But Cody was already shaking his head.
“They won’t let you, Lisa. They only provide housing for workers, not family. I already asked,” he said. For a second I was comforted that he’d thought to ask, but then the full impact of what he was saying hit me.
“But you can’t go,” I said, anguished.
“I have to. I’m supposed to leave Friday. I just. . . I wanted to let you know,” he said, and I knew he was hurting, too. I could hear it in his voice.
Mama always used to tell me not to fall to pieces when something bad happens. She said it never helps and it’ll just make things harder in the long run. However tempting it was, I knew I couldn’t let it happen. I needed to pull things together and be strong, for me and Cody both.
“Well, I guess we can slug it out for a year if we have to. We can talk on the phone, and write letters maybe. It really stinks, but we’ll be okay,” I finally said, resigned.
“I’m not so sure about that,” he said, and my heart froze inside my chest.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean if you found somebody else in the meantime while I’m gone, I wouldn’t hold it against you,” he clarified, scuffing his boot on the dirt in that way he always did when he was uncomfortable.
“No. Don’t you ever think like that. I don’t care if you have to be gone for a year. I wouldn’t even care if it was ten years. Nobody could ever take your place,” I said fiercely, desperate to make him see.
“You say that now. But what about six months down the road, when we haven’t seen each other for all that time and you meet somebody else you like?” he asked. That stung, and I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes.
“I never would!” I declared hotly.
“It happens all the time, Lisa. You know that as well as I do,” he pointed out, and the fact that I knew he was partly right only made it worse.
“Cody. . . don’t you love me?” I asked. It had the expected result; he immediately put his arms around me and held me tight.
“More than anything,” he said, kissing the top of my head.
“Then how could you even think such a thing?” I asked, muffled against his chest.
He was silent for a minute.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound cruel. I only meant-“ he began, but I cut him off.
“Yeah, I know what you meant. You thought you were being all noble and gallant and self-sacrificing. But that’s not how it works. We stick together, no matter what,” I said.
“Really?” he finally asked, like he still didn’t quite believe it.
“Yeah, really,” I promised, wiping my eyes on his shirt but not letting go of him.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said softly, and I hugged him a little tighter.
“Well, you’re stuck with me anyway, bubba. So you better get used to it,” I said, through the last of my tears. He kissed me again, and I think he wasn’t quite sure what to say. He finally sighed.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just thinking how much I’m gonna miss you, that’s all,” he said.
“Me too,” I agreed.
“Maybe I’ll get to come home at Christmas. I sure do hope so,” he said.
“We’ll be all right, somehow or other,” I said with conviction.
He still seemed doubtful, but he didn’t say anything else.
Many Waters Page 18