Another soft cry followed. And then there was silence.
Addie and James just gaped at each other.
About then, either Levi or Lola must have realized they’d left the bedroom door open. Somebody gave it a kick.
Addie startled as it slammed. “Well,” she said softly. “PawPaw and Lola. Should I have guessed?”
“Probably.” James took her hand and led her back to the breakfast nook table. They sat down and picked up their forks again.
Addie ate a green bean. “I never did get around to telling him about the money.” She sighed. “Maybe tomorrow.”
James sipped from his beer. “He’s looking pretty spry, your grandfather. Bounced right up out of that chair and chased right after her.”
“Lola did say he doesn’t need a nurse anymore.”
James sent her one of those smiles that warmed her inside and out. “He still needs Lola, though.”
“Yep. I think he really does. And from what just happened, I’m guessing that maybe she needs him, too.”
* * *
The next morning at breakfast Levi announced, “Lo is no longer my nurse. I fired her.” He reached for Lola’s hand. She gave it and he kissed the back of it. “She’s not my nurse, and she’s not going anywhere.”
Lola colored like a youngster. “We want to spend time together.”
“Lots of time,” said Levi. “So she’ll be staying here at the ranch house with me.”
Lola added, “And if I’m not here, he’ll be coming to stay at my house. But we’ll also take time alone, too, so we each get some space.”
“Not too much damn space,” Levi muttered.
And she chuckled. “No, darling. Not much space at all.” She said to Addie, “When you get older, you find you don’t want to waste a minute that you might spend with the person who means the most to you.”
Without stopping to think twice, Addie looked to James. His blue gaze was waiting. They shared a glance that felt so tender. So right.
The old folks were in love. And so was she. And she really, really wanted to speak of her love with James.
Yes, she had promised herself not to go there ever again. But some promises, well, didn’t they just beg to be broken?
If her grandfather could find love again after so many lonely years, didn’t that just prove that love was something you should never give up on?
Addie swallowed down the tears that always seemed to be so near the surface lately. She said, “I’m so happy for you two,” and she meant it with all her heart.
James nodded in agreement and Levi and Lola beamed with happiness.
That evening at dinner, Addie finally told her grandfather of the visit to Brandon’s lawyer and the enormous sum of money Brandon had settled on her.
Levi didn’t seem the least surprised. “I knew he was filthy rich, that boy—and don’t get prickly, Addie Anne. I mean ‘filthy rich’ in the nicest way possible.”
“Oh, PawPaw,” she chided.
The wrinkles in Levi’s brow deepened. “But I thought you said you refused to take any of his money.”
“He left it to me anyway.”
Her grandfather said very gently, “Well. God rest his soul.”
Addie was sorely tempted at that moment to bring up the baby again, to try to get her grandfather to admit, at last, that she hadn’t lied, that Brandon was the baby’s father and her grandfather had kidnapped an innocent man—and then forced her and James to marry by threatening to let himself die.
But why ruin a really good moment with accusations and anger? James claimed he was over it.
And PawPaw was almost eighty. He’d survived a massive heart attack and found true love again at last.
Let him have his illusion that James was her baby’s father. In this case, she doubted that the truth would set anyone free.
A little later as she and James were clearing the table, a rolling boom of thunder sounded outside.
“Storm coming,” she said.
James set down the two plates he’d carried to the counter and moved to stand behind her. He wrapped his arms around her.
He was brushing a lovely line of kisses down the side of her throat when thunder rolled again and she warned, “Don’t tempt me.”
“I live to tempt you...” He kissed the words against her skin.
She turned her head back over her shoulder and they shared a swift, hot little kiss. “I have to hurry, get my sleeping bag and get out to the stables.”
He frowned at her, confused. “Because...?”
“You know Dodger?”
“That big bay gelding, you mean?”
“That’s the one. He goes wild when there’s a thunderstorm. Weather report said it might storm, so I put him in a stall for the night just to be safe. If I leave him in the pasture, he’s been known to jump the fence and run off. But I need to get out there and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself kicking at the stall.”
“I thought you were going to hire someone to help you with the horses.”
“I have. I called around and found a dependable man who’s worked for us before, but he can’t start till next Monday, so I’m on my own tonight.”
Out the breakfast nook window, lightning flashed, followed by a rolling boom of thunder. She kissed him one more time and then made for the mudroom. “Just leave all that,” she said over her shoulder of the half-cleared table. “I’ll deal with it in the morning.”
He followed and stood in the doorway to the kitchen as she grabbed her hooded canvas jacket off the peg by the back door. “You’ll be sleeping out there tonight?”
“Probably.” She grabbed some wrinkled apples from the bin under the mudroom sink and stuffed them in her jacket pockets.
He said, “I’ll finish clearing off and be with you in ten minutes.”
The idea delighted her, but it was only fair to warn him, “You’ll be a lot more comfortable upstairs in bed.”
“Uh-uh. Where you are. That’s where I want to be.”
* * *
Addie stopped by the storage shed and got two sleeping bags. It was starting to rain as she ran for the stables. Slipping in through the outside door, she tossed the sleeping bags in the corner.
Dodger gave a snort, followed by a nervous whinny of greeting. She went to his stall and spoke to him soothingly. He snorted twice more but seemed to settle a bit.
“Good boy, good boy.” She fed him two of the apples as the rain came down harder, drumming on the rafters overhead.
Dodger let her pet him and whisper to him.
When it seemed safe to leave him for a minute, she went to unlatch the doors that led into the pasture, pushing them open just wide enough that she could look out. Through the veil of the rain, she could see the other horses huddled in the run-in shed, an open-sided structure that provided shelter during bad weather. They should be all right.
As she pulled the doors shut again, lightning blazed and thunder roared. Dodger neighed and kicked the stall door, hard. She went back to try to soothe him, waiting till he danced around to face the stall door again, then getting hold of the halter she’d left on him just for this purpose.
He kept rearing back, trying to jerk free. But she held on and blew in his nostrils and petted his fine, long forehead with its pretty white blaze. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay now, boy...”
She’d just gotten him settled when the thunder roared again. With a squeal, he pulled free and started kicking the stable wall behind him, tossing his head so she couldn’t catch the harness.
And then there was James beside her, his hair wet from the rain, wearing his heavy quilted jacket. He had the extra height and longer arms to catch the harness again.
Addie caught the other side. Together, they whispered soothing wo
rds until Dodger finally settled once more.
The rain drummed harder on the roof. Addie heard Moose whine. Still holding her side of Dodger’s harness, she glanced over to see the dog sitting by the sleeping bags, tongue lolling, expression hopeful.
James stroked Dodger’s muzzle and followed her glance. “He came out of Levi’s room looking for you, so I brought him along.”
More thunder.
They both focused on the horse again, holding on, petting him, whispering that he was safe, that everything was okay.
The rain kept on coming down. But after fifteen minutes had passed with no more claps of thunder, Dodger seemed calm enough that she gave him another apple for being such a good boy. Then she and James went to spread some clean straw on the floor and lay out their sleeping bags.
James had brought a couple of blankets and two pillows. They used the sleeping bags as a bed and the blankets to cover them.
“Very cozy,” he said, when they lay together on their mattress of straw, with Moose stretched out contentedly beside them.
She had her head on James’s chest and her hand on his heart, with his strong arm around her, her very favorite place to be. “You showed up at just the right moment.”
He pressed his lips to her hair. “We make a good team.”
Her heart did something impossible inside her chest. “Yeah,” she agreed in barely a whisper. She tipped her head back to smile at him. “We really do.” And I love you so much and I’m terrified to tell you that—scared to death that when I do, everything will go wrong.
He bent a little closer. “Addie, I—”
She pressed a finger to his lips, her stomach going hollow with fear—of what he might ask of her, of the things he might say that she might answer in kind. Last night, seeing her grandfather and Lola all dewy-eyed, in love as two teenagers and admitting it openly, anything had seemed possible. Last night, for a little while, she’d actually believed that she could say her love out loud to James and it would all work out.
But right now, as he looked at her with tender intentions, right now, with the moment upon her...
Uh-uh. No.
These things never worked out for her. She couldn’t bear to go there again and have it all go bad. She didn’t even want to think about it.
Not tonight, anyway.
“Don’t talk,” she whispered. “Just kiss me.”
“Addie.” He said it tenderly—and reproachfully, too. “We can’t go on forever without—”
She cut him off. “Kiss me, James.”
He shook his head, but then he did give in. Their lips met. He gathered her close.
Outside, the rain poured down. Moose gave a big yawn. In his stall, Dodger shifted with a low sound very much like a sigh.
James pushed at her jacket. She let him take it away and then helped him get rid of his. It didn’t take long to shed all their clothes. James pulled the blankets over them.
He laid his big, warm hand on her belly. “You’re a little bit rounder here, I think...”
It was true. She had a tiny baby bump now, though it was nowhere near big enough to show under her clothes. Laughing, she elbowed him in the side. “James Bravo, are you calling me fat?”
“I’m calling you beautiful.” And then he kissed her again.
It was so sweet and right, just the two of them, the rain drumming overhead, making love, saying things with their bodies that she could never quite bring herself to put into words.
Addie told herself that was okay. It wasn’t that she would never tell him. It was only that she wasn’t ready yet, to say it, to find out if this time really was as different as it seemed to be. She had two weeks yet until their two-month marriage ended. Surely by then she would find a way to say that she loved him and wished with all her heart that he might stay.
* * *
Thursday, Levi spent the night at Lola’s house in town.
Friday morning, it was just Addie and James at the ranch house. They got up before dawn, as always, and tended to the horses. Back inside, he cooked them breakfast and she set the table.
When they sat down, he asked her what she had planned for the day. She told him about the orders she needed to work on, the weeds she needed to pull in the garden and that she had her second ultrasound at Justice Creek General at one.
He gazed across at her so steadily and she had that scary, wonderful feeling that he could see right down inside her heart. And then he asked in a worried tone, “Is something wrong, then? With you? With the baby?”
“No. Honestly. This is an optional ultrasound for me. More and more doctors are advising that women have them at eleven to thirteen weeks. There’s really no indication that ultrasounds hurt the baby or the mother. It’s totally noninvasive. It uses sound waves and not radiation. And at thirteen weeks, they can check for issues like Down syndrome and other genetic disorders.” He’d gone from worried-looking to slightly alarmed, so she added, “James. It’s okay, I promise you. I have no reason to believe the baby has any of those things. I just think it’s a good idea, to check everything that can be checked. Plus, I might be able to find out if it’s a boy or a girl—that’s not real likely this early, but it’s possible.”
“It’s at one, you said?”
“That’s right.”
“I want to be with you. I’ll meet you there.”
* * *
James wasn’t sure, exactly, why he wanted to be with Addie for the ultrasound.
He just felt that he should be there, that he wanted to see those shadowy sonogram images, see for himself the tiny person inside Addie that had somehow changed everything. Because of the baby, Levi had kidnapped him. Everything, really, had started from there. If not for that awful day when Levi had his heart attack, James doubted he’d ever have had a chance with Addie.
Sometimes he still doubted that he really had a chance. She was scared to go all the way with her feelings. She’d been hurt more than once revealing her heart and she wasn’t eager to try that again.
James got that. He did. He kept trying to figure out how to talk about forever with her.
But he hadn’t managed it yet. Something always held him back. He wasn’t sure exactly what. Maybe the way she still guarded her heart. When he held her and made love to her, she gave herself completely. But somehow she made it so that the moment was never right to talk about where they might go from here. He didn’t want to ruin what they had by pushing too fast.
For the ultrasound, Addie lay on a padded exam table in a darkened room. The technician, whose name was Kate, slid the gel-smeared probe in slow, exploratory circles over her bare belly.
James stood beside Addie, across from Kate and her keyboard and the sonogram screen. On the screen, the images flickered and changed. They heard the baby’s heartbeat, a hundred and sixty beats per minute.
And then, for a second, a glimmer of a shape that might have been a human form. Slowly, as Kate worked the probe, the image came a little clearer. James could make out separate body parts beyond the overlarge head. He saw tiny arms, hands, fingers—even toes. Kate said the baby was only three inches long, that fingerprints were starting to form, that reflexes had begun to develop, that the baby could hiccup and yawn and swallow, that the kidneys were just beginning to function.
“Did you want to know the sex?” she asked.
Addie said, “Yes.”
Kate slid the probe around in a slowly narrowing circle. “See that? He’s not shy.”
A boy, then? James thought maybe he saw something that just might have been a penis, but then it was gone. “You just said ‘he.’ So it’s a boy?”
Kate the technician answered with a firm “Yes.”
“A boy,” Addie repeated with a happy little sigh.
James stared at the tiny figure floating ins
ide Addie, watched the little guy flex his transparent fingers, wiggle his miniature feet. Brandon Hall’s baby.
But somehow, strangely, his baby, too.
Was he out of line, to think that?
He didn’t see how.
With Brandon gone, the little guy could use a dad.
I can do this, he found himself thinking. I can be this baby’s dad.
He not only could, but he wanted to. Like a warm and welcoming light going on inside that shadowed room, as he watched the thirteen-week-old baby on the flickering ultrasound screen, everything changed again, the same as it had changed the day Levi tied him to a chair.
That barely formed baby had James seeing with perfect clarity that he had no more need to be jealous of Brandon Hall and his money. Brandon had loved Addie. Brandon had done all he could to protect her, to take care of her after he was gone. And Addie had loved Brandon, too. But not that way, not the way she could love James if she would only let herself. Addie needed him, James, no matter how afraid she was to claim him.
And this tiny baby? This baby needed him, too.
And all that was just fine with James. Because he needed both of them.
Now if he could only make Addie believe that he did.
* * *
James waited for the right moment to tell her that he loved being married to her—he loved her, damn it. That he wanted to be a dad to the baby she’d made with Brandon Hall. He wanted the life they had made together. He wanted it all with her until death did them part, which he expected to be a long, long time from now.
Unfortunately, that moment never came. Somehow she always found a way to silence him before he even started talking. She did it so cleverly, with a sweet kiss, or a deft change of subject—or the sudden absolute necessity to be off and doing something in another room.
The new hand, Rudy Jeffries, came to work on Monday. He brought two of his own horses and a single-wide house trailer to live in until Addie could get the foreman’s cottage across from the main house fixed up for him. Tuesday, Addie had a plumber and an electrician out to add hookups for the trailer on a pretty grassy space not far from the barn.
James Bravo's Shotgun Bride Page 17