Not his mental health, per say, but at how he’d be worked up over this part of him. Ethan hated being Native. If he could change it, he would.
So, she crossed to him and took a seat in his lap. “You got this, handsome. I’m here.”
“The two bigger ravens were protecting the smaller one. It had blood all over its feathers. The smaller raven was limping along, wounded.”
Callen scrubbed his hands over his face. “I hate this. God, I freaking hate this.”
That said it all.
Now two brothers were freaked out. This was going downhill, and fast.
“Join the club, bro.”
“What else?”
“At one point, the one raven left. It just flew away, leaving the other two behind. The other big one stood watch, wrapping it’s wings over it.”
Callen moved to stand by them. He placed his warm palm on Ethan’s neck in support. “It’s okay.”
“And then the one that flew away died. It wasn’t fast, and it wasn’t painless. It suffered. It looked gaunt, it looked haunted, and it succumbed. The wind came, and the feathers all blew away.”
No one liked that dream.
No one.
“Then I found this on the floor when I went to leave my office to come see you.”
He opened the drawer and handed her the feather.
Callen wouldn’t touch it.
When Elizabeth reached for it, he grabbed her hand. “Don’t do it!”
“It’s only a feather.”
Ethan glanced up at Callen. “Granddad taught us that a black feather was a bad thing. It means death. I don’t want you to take this case.”
There.
He said it.
Ethan was really freaked out, and that worried Elizabeth. She didn’t want him suffering.
“Boys, this is my job. I head the Violent Crimes unit. I get paid to handle the cases that no one else can solve or won’t touch because the killers are cuckoo.”
Oh, they were aware.
“Please,” Callen begged. “Don’t do this.”
Ethan didn’t say a word. He kept thinking about what his life would have been like had Gabe taken Elizabeth’s free will away all those years ago.
She would have gone to Damascus.
She would have fallen in love with Callen.
She never would have been in his dreams.
Yeah, as much as he wanted to say no, he couldn’t. This had to be her choice. She was driving the fate bus.
And he hated it.
She could see the twin look of fear on both of their faces. Elizabeth hated that they were worried. She didn’t like either man to be sick over her job.
Besides, it damaged their relationship. It chipped away at it, and at some point, it broke them.
“I tell you what,” she offered. “How about I make you a deal?”
Both men stared at her.
“What?” Ethan asked.
“I’ll go to the scene, check it out, and if it’s something Seaton Squared can handle without me, I’ll let them run it. If you’re so freaked out, and this has you worrying, I’ll pass on it.”
For the first time in an hour, he could breathe. His heart began beating normally, and Ethan didn’t feel like he was going to have a heart attack.
“Thank you.”
“That’s it?” she teased.
Ethan tugged her mouth down to his. The kiss was soft, gentle, and showed how much he appreciated her understanding his fear.
Callen even got in on the action. As soon as his brother released her mouth, his lips found hers. They shared a kiss as Ethan held her in his lap.
It was pretty awesome.
Elizabeth figured if this was going to be the outcome for meeting them halfway, she’d have to do it more often.
“I’ll think it through,” she offered.
“Promise?” Ethan asked, as soon as Callen had set her free.
“Yes. I’ll take my big sexy bodyguard, and we’ll head to the scene. If this is just some wackadoo leaving me flowers, I’ll pass. If this is a dangerous crazy or Bonnie, I have to do it.”
He didn’t think about her.
Clearly, neither did his brother.
“Jesus,” muttered Callen.
She laughed. “I’ll go get the team ready, and if it’s bad, I’ll bow out. In fact, you can have Igor the Terrible follow me.”
Now they were looking at her as if she had three heads, twenty eyes, and a few horns.
“What?”
Ethan picked up his pen, grabbed his desk calendar, and scribbled something.
She read it.
‘Elizabeth was agreeable.’
It made her laugh. “Sarcasm is not the way to my heart, Cowboy.”
He kept writing.
‘Elizabeth didn’t argue for the first time ever.’
She read what he had written, and it made her snort. “Come on! I’m not that bad, am I?” she asked.
They just stared at her.
The look said it all.
“I’m in love with two crazies,” she teased. Getting up from Ethan’s lap, she touched them both on a cheek with her warm hand. It connected them.
“I love you both.”
Neither man could speak.
They didn’t need to.
Elizabeth would just know how hard this was for them to swallow.
“I’ll see you down there, Callen James.”
Ethan placed his hand on his arm. “I need a favor before you head out.”
“What?”
“Watch her. I’ll have Ivan follow you both, and I’ll even give up my security detail. I have a really bad feeling about this whole thing.”
“What aren’t you telling me?” he asked.
“I don’t think she was the bloody bird. I think it was me. I think she flew off and left us both behind. I think the bird disappearing was her trying to leave us forever.”
“What?” he asked. “She’d never leave you or me, Ethan. Elizabeth is the most loyal woman in the world.”
He was aware, but his gut…it was screaming.
“I can’t explain it. I need you to promise me that no matter what, you’ll stick close to her. I need to know you’re all over her. If it comes down to her or me, take her. I’ll be okay.”
“Ethan.”
“Callen, please.”
Ethan knew he was asking him to choose between the two of them, but in this case, Blackhawk would make the sacrifice. Elizabeth mattered more.
“If it comes down to her or me, take her,” he said again.
He hugged his brother. “Okay, Ethan. I’ll stick to her. You’ll see that this is absolutely nothing. I promise.”
He hoped his brother was right.
Only Ethan wasn’t sure.
Something was coming.
And it wasn’t going to be fun.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Doctor Lewis’s Office
DC Oncology Specialists
Gabe couldn’t believe it.
The words sounded so foreign to his ears. There was no way the blood work and CT scan had been right. He almost wanted to ask for a second opinion.
Almost.
“So, I really have cancer?” he asked. “I feel fine. I don’t understand any of this.”
Doctor Lewis sat back in his chair. “Can we talk privately?” he asked, pointing at the two armed men standing behind him.
“No they follow me everywhere. You can talk in front of them. Michael and Raphael have been with me for a long time.”
The doctor shrugged.
“If you insist.”
“I insist.”
“You’re a damn lucky man, Mr. Rothschild. The ONLY reason we caught any of this was because you had your blood work.”
“I have the same blood work every year. How did it catch this?”
The man explained. “Gallbladder cancer is rarely detected. When they did your blood work, the lab accidentally tested for the wrong thing. They noti
ced the level came back elevated, and that meant you have liver disease. That’s the first sign something is wrong.”
“So, by chance, we found a cancer that is bad?”
“By the time you showed symptoms, it would have spread. You’d be given meds to be comfortable, and then you’d die. It would have been too late.”
That nearly took him to his knees. Thank God he was sitting for this.
“Cheery.”
It was the only thing he could think of saying. What he wanted to do was rage, laugh, cry, and a million other things.
“You should be thanking your lucky stars, Director. We can give you some hepatic artery therapy, and it will take the chemo drugs right into the liver. That should kill the tumor.”
Gabe couldn’t believe any of this was happening.
What the hell?
He was fine.
He was fit.
He was…dying?
He knew what he needed to ask the man. It wasn’t about him now. It was all about the people who needed him.
“Am I going to die?” he asked, thinking about Livy, his six kids, and his job.
“Not from this, Director. Like I said, we caught it in stage one. At stage three, you might die. At stage four, you’re not long for the world. It’s slow moving, and as long as we get you into remission, you’re going to grow old.”
Gabe sat back in his chair.
Both Raphael and Michael patted him on the shoulders. It wasn’t lost on him, and he started to laugh.
“What?” the doctor asked.
He opted to tell him. “I was going to blow off my blood work for the day. I didn’t feel like going, but my security detail made me go. They’re like my guardian angels.”
The man agreed.
In this case, they’d saved his life.
“They are. They did their job that day, and the tech who screwed up saved a life. Maybe it was divine intervention.”
Yeah, he wasn’t sure he bought that one.
“When do we start the chemo?”
“I have to order the drugs, you’ll need a few days off, and we’ll start. Maybe a week or so from now.”
“I don’t want to tell my wife.”
“What?” the doctor stated.
“Can we do this without her knowing?”
“Director…”
“I mean it. She’s got enough on her shoulders. I’m going to be fine, and I don’t want her freaked out by this.”
Gabe was dead serious.
Livy wouldn’t handle it well. As of late, she was frazzled, and it was likely because she was back to work. She went from mom to Fed and it wasn’t an easy transition.
“She’s going to know something is wrong. You’re likely going to lose your hair, you’ll be really sick, and the exhaustion will be severe.”
Gabe was screwed.
Shit!
Well, that killed that option.
“I’ll tell her the day before I have it done. I don’t want her carrying this for weeks. I don’t want her to be sick over it. I’m going to be fine.”
And he would be.
He had to be.
Gabe had responsibilities, and he wasn’t ready to pack it in quite yet.
The doctor shrugged. “Whatever you say, Director. It’s your life. I hope she won’t be mad.”
Oh, his wife was going to be more than mad.
She was going to be livid.
Still…
He had to spare her this.
“Raphael and Michael, mum’s the word.”
They nodded and made a lip zipping motion.
He knew they’d keep it quiet. The two men had been his security detail for the last five years. They were more than bodyguards.
They were his family.
Gabe would have to take some time off, but he could work from home. He was going to wait to tell everyone, but the president.
Besides, the FBI would be in good hands.
Ethan would handle it like a champ. There was no doubt in his mind that the man was going to rise up and do the job. It was a damn good thing he rode Ethan so hard.
He was about to get a trial by fire.
“I have to get to work,” Gabe said, standing from his chair. “I have to coordinate all of this.”
“You might want to take it easy,” the doctor offered. “You’re a sick man, Director. You do have cancer.”
He could say it a million times, and it would always stagger Gabe. The words were like arrows to his heart.
“Doc, I have to run the entire FBI. If I take a week off, without prepping the Deputy Director, it will all go to hell in a handbasket. Sick or not, I have a job to do. The FBI isn’t just a police department where I can call in sick. We police this whole country. That’s a job that takes a lot of hands on work.”
What could the doctor say?
“Just try and rest as much as possible.”
That he could do.
Gabe shook his hand, and then handed him a business card to give him his number.
“Call this, not my home, not my cell, not any other contact number. I’ll take all calls at my office.”
The last thing he needed was Livy finding out. There would be hell to pay.
He headed out.
Gabe hoped he was doing the right thing by keeping so many people he loved in the dark.
He hoped that he wasn’t going to die.
Gabriel Rothschild had too much to live for in his life.
He wanted more time.
So much more.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Morgue
Hoover Building
When she got down there, Chris was handling the team. They were running around, packing bags, and getting their gear ready to go.
Elizabeth pointed at Johanna and Broderick Seaton to get their attention.
“I’m going to check this one out. If it’s an easy one, I’m passing it off to you two. I trust you to handle it. If at any time, you need help, you know where to find me.”
“Really?” Johanna asked.
“Really.”
They both saluted.
Chris stared at her. “You’re going to hand something off and not at gunpoint? Really? Are you not feeling well, honey?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I really like crazy. This may only be mildly cuckoo. I like to save it for the big ones. Why show up if it’s not going to be worth my time?”
He laughed. “Elizabeth, you’re insane and that comment was proof of it.”
Oh, she was aware.
Still, it was the truth.
Chasing crazies was draining. If it wasn’t going to be worth her time, she’d willingly pass it off. Plus, Ethan looked like he was going to have a stroke.
She didn’t want that.
“You know me, Christopher. Cuckoo for crazies.”
He snorted. “Yes, it takes one to know one.”
That’s likely why she was running this division. She enjoyed the challenge of the crazies. Face it. She was an adrenaline junkie who got where they were coming from.
As they were making sure the team was handling everything, Amir Hayden, their newest tech, raced past them.
“Hey, bosses!”
Then he was gone.
He was like a blur.
“How’s he doing?” she asked of the dark-haired man. So far, she didn’t know much about him. He seemed quiet, nerdy, and doing the job.
“Well, he’s no Christina or Merry. Let’s just say I double check everything before I sign it.”
She got it. They all knew that replacing the head tech was never an easy job.
Replacing Christina was a miracle.
Replacing Merry?
It would never happen.
Elizabeth had zero hope that they’d find someone who could do what they needed. The last tech, after Merry, lasted three days before the stress of the job got to her. She actually walked out mid-case, and was never heard from again.
Grant
ed, it was likely because both Elizabeth and Christopher Leonard had such super high standards. On day one, she was told that.
On day three, she couldn’t meet the bar. In fact, she wasn’t even close.
“What did he do?” she asked, almost not wanting to know what had happened.
Chris stared at her. “He’s just not a team player. He keeps to himself, he doesn’t give anyone shit, and he’s…”
She stopped him.
“You’re complaining because he’s a good worker? Are you bat shit insane, my friend? At this point, let’s just be happy with anyone who won’t screw up and contaminate evidence.”
He laughed. “I know. I just feel like Merry is never going to be replaced, so why bother. I might as well do the job myself. At least I trust me.”
“Remember when we first got Tony?” she asked, looking around. “Speaking of the devil…where is he?”
Chris remembered that day.
“He’s getting the van ready, and how could I forget? He puked on me, pointed me at online dating, and…”
He let it go there.
They didn’t talk about their relationship back then. They’d made a pact, let it go, and moved on.
It was their secret and it would stay that way.
“He changed everything,” Elizabeth admitted. It wasn’t often she thought back to when she and Chris were a couple, but now she was waxing sentimental.
“Every day I want to kiss him,” Chris stated, wiggling his eyebrows.
“With tongue, Christopher?”
“Yeah, from one of the bodies in the morgue.”
She gave him a fist bump. “Good one, Newton. For a second there, I was worried.”
As if on cue, Tony walked in, whistling up a storm. They both stared at him as if he was possessed.
Yes, some of the team was in love with their job, but no one whistled while they worked in a morgue. That was a sure sign they were losing it.
“What’s up with Mr. Cheer?” she asked.
Tony headed her way and planted a big one on her mouth. Chris started laughing.
“Apparently, he wants to die.”
“I can see that. He’s lucky the men aren’t here. They get pissy when someone kisses me.”
Dying to Love (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 18) Page 5