“Yes, we do.” Ben’s deep voice sent tingles down her spine. When he spoke to her like that, it was easy to forget all the arguments they’d had, and she fell in love with him all over again. He kissed her slowly, and for a moment, she forgot all about Jayden.
Tessa reluctantly pulled away when Jayden appeared beside them carrying a tray of piping hot pizza. Ben left one arm around her waist as he turned to face Jayden.
Poor Jayden. She and Ben had tried to keep their physical displays of affection private as much as possible, but Ben had set this up, so he must have decided it was okay this time. Nevertheless, Jayden’s face had reddened, and Tessa couldn’t help but feel for him.
“The pizza smells wonderful, Jayden. Let’s eat while it’s hot.” Tessa moved away from Ben and placed her arm lightly on Jayden’s shoulders as they moved to the table. The aroma of melted mozzarella, salami, and Italian herbs made her stomach rumble.
“Ben, this is a perfect way to end the weekend. Thank you.” Tessa smiled lovingly at Ben as she reached her hand out and found his under the table.
“Yes, it is, I agree entirely.” Ben’s eyes lit up as he squeezed her hand and returned her smile. He took a slow breath before tearing his gaze away from her. “Let’s give thanks before we eat.”
Tessa grimaced when Jayden rolled his eyes, and as Ben gave thanks for the meal, for the day, and for his family, Tessa prayed silently for Jayden.
Later, Tessa was surprised when Ben brought out a chess set. “I didn’t know you played chess, Ben. How many more secrets have you got?” Tessa asked with a touch of mockery in her voice.
“Ah, not many, my love. But you’ll have to wait to find out.”
She hit him playfully with the back of her hand, but as their eyes met, Tessa’s stomach fluttered. How she’d love to wrap her arms around him and tell him how sorry she was for questioning him and how much she loved him, but he had a chess match to play. Instead, she curled up on the outdoor lounge and pretended to read while Ben and Jayden played chess. Her heart warmed as she watched them interacting so easily. All was going to be well in the Williams’ household.
Chapter 9
Three weeks later, Tessa locked her sky blue Hatchback and headed to the cinema entrance. After yet another argument with Ben that morning, she’d considered cancelling her lunch and movie date with Stephanie but, in the end, had decided to go. A few hours with her best friend would probably do her the world of good, and maybe put some perspective into everything. Not that she wanted to bare all to Stephanie, but if the opportunity arose, maybe she could share a little.
Tessa scanned the area to see if Stephanie had already arrived. She wasn’t half obvious. Standing at the ticket booth, dressed in casual brown balloon pants and white crepe top, her long auburn hair popped with red highlights. She whirled around when Tess called out.
“Tess! Great to see you!” Stephanie gave Tessa a massive hug, almost pulling Tessa off her feet before drawing back and holding her at arm’s length. “You’re looking fantastic, Tess. Married life must be suiting you.”
You didn’t see how long it took to cover up my red eyes. Tessa determined to put on a brave face and not let Stephanie see how upset she was. Though the argument with Ben gnawed at her deep down, and sat like a heavy lump in her stomach. How could they be arguing like this again? Tessa drew in a deep breath and planted a smile on her face.
“You’re looking pretty good yourself, Steph. Love your hair!”
“Had it done this week. You really like it?” Stephanie ran her hand through her long locks, holding it out so the red highlights gleamed.
“Yes, it really suits you, Steph.”
Stephanie linked her arm through Tessa’s and they strolled inside. Stephanie talked non-stop as they headed for one of the cafés they used to frequent when they were housemates. Tessa tried to focus on what Stephanie was saying, but she couldn’t shake the horrible words she’d shouted at Ben just before she left. They rang in her ears and in her heart, making her feel sick to her stomach. How could she have told Ben he was the hardest, coldest person she knew? God, please forgive me, I didn’t mean what I said. You know that.
Standing at the front of the café, Tessa could barely think about what to order. Her appetite had fled, and in fact, the very thought of food turned her stomach. She had to get something, so she ordered a grilled chicken burger. Stephanie ordered a vegetarian pizza. They decided on a table towards the back where it was quiet.
“Seems ages since we caught up, Steph. My fault, I’m sorry.” Tessa forced herself to converse normally, all the while pushing back the tears that loitered just below the surface.
“Perfectly understandable. You’re newly married, so that’s the way it should be.”
“Yes, I guess so.” But I miss relaxing together without any pressure. Tessa picked up her glass of apple cider and wrapped her hands around it. When they were on their honeymoon, she and Ben had relaxed together all the time. What had happened to cause so much friction? Tessa could easily break down there and then and tell Stephanie exactly how she was feeling, but she wouldn’t. She’d pull herself together and focus on Stephanie. Tessa straightened and lifted her chin. “How’s your new housemate going, Steph?”
“Don’t start me…” Stephanie rolled her eyes. “Hannah makes you look tidy. She never puts anything away, I have to wipe the bathroom vanity after her every time, and the kitchen’s always a mess.” Exactly what Ben says about me…
Tessa exhaled sharply. “Give the girl some rope, Steph. She’s only young, and she’s never lived away from home before.”
“And don’t I know it.” Stephanie humphed, blowing some straggly hair off her face. “Anyway, enough of Hannah and my woes. Tell me all about you. How’s your job? How’s Ben?” As Stephanie sat forward, steepling her hands, Tessa felt she was under a microscope.
Tessa gulped and gripped her glass. If she held it any tighter it would break. Here we go…how do I get out of this? She took a deep breath. Start with the job…
Stephanie waited expectantly for a reply. I shouldn’t have come… Tessa swallowed the lump in her throat and took hold of herself. Just talk normally. Forget you’ve had an argument with your husband and don’t know where he is.
Tessa drew in another slow breath and lifted her chin. Stephanie peered straight at her. Tessa forced herself to answer. “I’m not sure I’m cut out to be in management, Steph. Fran says she’s happy with my work, but I miss the hands-on contact. I only get to do surgery when we’re really busy or when Harrison’s away. And that’s my passion—always has been. I’m a vet, not a manager.” Tessa’s shoulders slumped. Why had she let Fran talk her into taking it on?
Stephanie reached out and squeezed Tessa’s wrist. “It’s early days yet, Tess, give it a bit longer. At least Fran gave you the option of returning to your old job if this one doesn’t work out.”
“I have a feeling I’ll be taking her up on it as soon as the six months are up.”
Tessa glanced up as the waitress delivered their meals and scurried off to the next table.
“And Ben? How is he?” Stephanie placed her napkin on her lap and cracked some pepper over her pizza.
“He’s good.” Tessa tried as hard as she could to make her voice sound normal, but it caught in her throat.
“Tessa—what’s wrong?” Stephanie leaned forward and searched Tessa’s face.
Tessa pushed back the tears welling in her eyes. She was not going to break down in front of Stephanie. She was going to pull herself together and be strong.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.” Tessa took another sip of her cider to gain some time and to avoid Stephanie’s prying gaze.
Stephanie raised her eyebrows, but her voice was soft. “Tess, I’ve been your friend for years, and I know when something’s bothering you, so don’t say nothing’s wrong. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but if you need a sympathetic ear, well, here I am.”
Tessa let out a resigned sigh. A s
ympathetic ear would be good. Oh, why not? It might even help. She let out a wobbly laugh as she grabbed a tissue from her purse and blew her nose. “You know me too well, Steph.” She clenched her hands together in her lap and gazed into Stephanie’s caring eyes. “This might surprise you, but I’m beginning to think Ben and I argue too much, and we haven’t been married that long.” Tessa’s voice caught again. Verbalising her concerns made it all the more real, and it hurt deep down. She didn’t want to argue with Ben. She loved him. How could they be arguing this much?
“Hmmm.” Stephanie leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “Ben doesn’t strike me as the arguing type.”
“I didn’t think he was either, but Steph, he’s so fussy about everything. I thought you were bad enough, but he’s something else.” Tessa pinched her lips tightly together and leaned closer. “Yesterday afternoon I did all our washing and he commented on how I folded his socks, and then he actually rearranged the entire drawer. The entire drawer!” Tessa threw her hands in the air. “I mean, they’re just socks!”
“Calm down, Tess. Lots of couples argue over sock drawers.” Stephanie’s eyes sparkled with amusement and she let out a small chuckle.
“You’re not taking me seriously.” Tessa folded her arms and pouted. She shouldn’t have said anything.
“It’s pretty normal, Tess. I once counselled a husband and wife who couldn’t stop fighting over what shows to watch and they’d been married for over fifteen years. They finally decided to get rid of their television set.”
Tessa raised an eyebrow.
“True story, Tess. But to be honest, I’d be more concerned about you and Ben if you didn’t have any disagreements at all. It’s absolutely normal, as long as you manage it right and don’t go to bed angry or upset. And I bet the making up bit is worth it.” Stephanie’s face expanded into a playful grin.
Tessa’s eyes widened and her head jerked up. “Stephanie Trejo! Nice girls don’t talk about things like that!”
“Sorry Tess. It’s just what I’ve heard.” She flashed Tessa another cheeky grin before becoming serious again. Reaching out, she gently placed her hand on Tessa’s arm. “But something more than a sock drawer is troubling you. I can see it in your eyes.”
How does Stephanie do it? Tears stung Tessa’s eyes and she turned her head away. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes.
Stephanie moved closer and placed her arm gently over Tessa’s shoulders.
Tessa closed her eyes, and inhaling deeply, swallowed the lump in her throat.
“You’re right, Steph. There is something more.” She lifted her head. “It’s Jayden. Ben and I disagree on just about everything regarding him—his friends, his church attendance, school events, even what he wears.” Tessa wiped her nose and turned to face Stephanie. “Jayden isn’t the easiest kid, but Ben’s so strict with him. He keeps telling me I’m too soft, but what else can I do? Most times Jayden doesn’t even want to talk to me.” Tessa sighed dejectedly. “I often don’t know who to side with—Ben or Jayden.” And that was the truth of it. She really was in a no-win situation. “I don’t think I should have to side with either of them—we’re supposed to be a family. We should be together, but we’re not.” The pain in Tessa’s chest deepened as fresh tears stung her eyes.
Stephanie squeezed Tessa’s shoulder. “You are a family, Tess. I know you want to be the best wife and mother, but maybe you’re trying too hard. You and Ben are two different people and you’re still getting used to each other. And Jayden has to get used to having a female in the house again. And he’s a teenager… we all know what they’re like.” Stephanie let out a small chuckle.
Tessa sniffed as she rolled her eyes and nodded. Yes, I know what they’re like.
“And he’s still getting over having his mum walk out. It’s a big change for you all, and as with most changes, it takes time to accept and adjust to a new situation.” Stephanie brushed Tessa’s damp hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. “It might take six months or a year for you all to understand each other and to work together, but you’ll get there. I know you will.” She smiled warmly into Tessa’s eyes. “The main thing is to try not to change each other. Ask God to help you accept each other as you are, even the things you don’t like. It’d be a boring world if we were all the same. But remember, Tess, Jayden is Ben’s son, and despite how you feel, you need to respect Ben’s decisions regarding him.”
Tessa let out a frustrated sigh and slumped in her seat, crossing her arms. “What if I don’t agree with him?”
“That’s something you need to talk about together, Tess, and pray about. You’re both sensible adults, and you both love Jayden, so that’s not the problem, but somehow you’re going to have to find a way through this. But Tess,” Stephanie squeezed Tessa’s hand and looked her in the eye. “Ben is Jayden’s dad, and you need to allow him to take the lead, even if you don’t agree all the time. But talk with him, Tess—don’t argue. And don’t worry too much about the small stuff. Work out what’s really important and just learn to let the rest go, as usually it doesn’t matter. You’ll work it out Tess, I know you will.”
What Stephanie was saying was right, but it was oh, so hard. It would take time, but she and Ben loved each other. That was the main thing. Everything else, including their problems with Jayden, would get sorted, eventually. Tessa breathed in slowly, her heart a little lighter and feeling slightly more hopeful. “Deep down I know all that, Steph, but in the heat of the moment I forget it, and I say things I shouldn’t and then regret it. Like today.” The horrible words she’d spat at Ben flashed through her mind, bringing a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. She’d have to go home and apologise. And soon.
“You know you can always talk to me, Tess. I’m only a phone call away.”
“Yes, I know.” Tessa sniffed and gave Stephanie the warmest smile she could muster. “It was silly not calling you earlier. It’s been building for a while and I stupidly let everything start to get me down. And then we had this argument this morning…” Tessa gulped. She didn’t want to cry again.
“Tess, I only know about marriage in theory. But I know it can be the most challenging, and the most rewarding of relationships, but it takes work, especially when there’s a step-child involved.” Stephanie opened her blue, nylon tote backpack and took out three paperbacks. “Here.” She passed them to Tessa. “I ordered these books for you a while ago, not knowing you were having problems already. Seems God might have had a hand in it.” Stephanie’s eyes twinkled.
“Steph, this is very kind of you. Thank you.” Tessa smiled warmly at her friend as she took the books and inspected them. Christian books on step-parenting—just what she needed.
“My pleasure, Tess. I hope they’ll help, even in a small way. Now, let’s go watch our movie.”
Chapter 10
Several hours later Tessa drove into the carport and breathed a sigh of relief. Ben’s car was parked in its normal spot. At least he’s home. She turned off the engine and sat. All through the movie she’d struggled to keep her mind on what was happening on the big screen, although she’d been wanting to see the latest Meryl Streep movie for some time. All she could think about was her argument with Ben that morning and what she’d say to him when she got home.
It had started the night before at the dinner table when Jayden had pleaded with Ben to allow him to go to camp, but Ben hadn’t been prepared to discuss it. “No, Jayden. You’re grounded, and that’s that.” Ben wore a determined expression on his face. “You can’t go to camp, Jayden, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”
Jayden glowered at him before he pushed back his chair and fled up the stairs to his room. The door slammed. Tessa’s heart fell. She knew how desperately Jayden wanted to go to camp. All his friends were going, and he’d told her he thought his dad was being totally unfair. She hadn’t told Jayden she agreed with him, but she had similar thoughts.
Ben rose and started
to follow Jayden. Tessa grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Won’t you let him go, Ben?” She was pleading, but she didn’t care. Ben paused. Their eyes locked. Tessa gulped and waited.
Ben’s expression didn’t change. He shook his head. “No, Tessa. I can’t go back on what I said. He just has to accept that it’s part of his punishment.”
Tessa bit her bottom lip while she held Ben’s gaze. Why couldn’t he give in just this once? Her heart ached for Jayden. If only Ben could go a little easier on him, she was sure Jayden would be a much happier boy. But Ben seemed determined to see the punishment through, whatever the cost. Tessa inhaled deeply and held her tongue. “Let him calm down for a while, then.”
Ben let out a slow breath and she felt the tension in his body ease. He ran his hand through his hair. “You’re right, Tess. I’ll talk to him later.”
While Ben was taking a shower, Tessa took the stairs two at a time and knocked lightly on Jayden’s door. “Jayden, can I come in?” He didn’t reply, so she knocked again, a little louder.
The door opened and Tessa tentatively poked her head in. Jayden had flopped back on his bed. His sullen expression hadn’t changed, but the hurt in his eyes tugged at her heart.
“Hey.”
Jayden didn’t reply. He picked at the strings of his guitar and lowered his gaze.
“I just wanted to see if you’re okay, Jayden.” Her voice was soft, caring.
Jayden shrugged. “I hate Dad,” he said, almost under his breath.
Jayden’s words tugged at Tessa’s heartstrings. She stepped into the room, weaving her way between dirty clothes and towels, and perched on the edge of the bed. “Jayden, look at me.” She waited. After three long seconds, he slowly lifted his eyes. “I’m sure you don’t mean that. You’re just angry with him, that’s all. Your dad’s only doing what he thinks is right because he loves you. He’s not doing it out of spite or for any other reason.”
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