by J. H. Croix
Susie’s eyes took on a gleam. “Of course he is. He’s got great hands and a hot bod to go with them.”
Her eyes sobered. She must have picked up on the worry spinning inside me. I’d never been great at keeping a straight face. “What is it?” she pressed.
I almost burst into tears and had to take a bite of my sandwich to chew my feelings under control. Bless Susie’s heart, but she let me do that. Much as she could be a pushy, nosy friend, she cared deeply.
After a few bites, I began, “I don’t know. You know I’ve never been good at the casual thing. Which was why it was such a disaster when Joel lied to me, and it ended up being a fucking affair. I really like Elias, and I don’t know what he thinks, or how to handle it.”
“Well, we know Elias isn’t lying to you about who he is. We all know who he is. He’s worked for Flynn for what, five years now?”
“Something like that.” Now came the hard part—being honest with my friend about just how left behind I felt in life. “It’s hard. Because I want to find someone. I want to have kids before it’s too late. I just don’t know if I can trust anyone enough, or myself for that matter. I mean, why would anybody trust me after what happened?”
Susie looked crushed. “Sweetie.” She reached for one of my hands, curling hers over it and squeezing it tightly. “That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know Joel was married. He didn’t even give you his real name. And, you’re only thirty-two. You have plenty of time to have kids.”
My eyes were stinging again, and she was squeezing my hand a little too hard. She was kind of fierce like that. I managed a shaky smile and knuckled at my tears with my free hand. “You’re kind of hurting my hand,” I said.
Her eyebrows flew up. “Oh! Sorry.” She eased her grip and released my hand.
“I know what you’re saying is true, but it just feels all so impossible. I like Elias, and I know he’s not lying about who he is, but I don’t know if he wants what I want. Maybe he doesn’t want kids. I really want kids. It’s kind of a deal breaker for me.”
Susie paused to take a bite of her sandwich, and that let me know all I needed to know. She actually had to think about her answer. Her opinions were usually flying out like horses at the start of a race.
We ate in silence for a few moments before she replied, “Look, obviously I have no idea if Elias wants kids. But all you can do is try. And it’s better that you know what you want now, than to stumble ahead and find out it’s not a good fit. Plus, catch me on a bad day and I don’t want kids. I’ll give one of mine away when they’re in the middle of a tantrum. No problem.” She waved her hand in the air and rolled her eyes.
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “True. Ugh. Romance is a pain in the ass.”
“I guess it’s not great to have most of your friends married with kids now, huh?” she pressed gently. Gentle wasn’t really her approach, which again made me feel obnoxiously fragile.
“I’m really happy for all of you. Seriously. But, yeah, I often feel a little behind the times.”
“I want you to do me a favor,” Susie said.
“Sure,” I replied, not thinking much of it. If my friend asked for a favor, I’d be glad to do it.
“Talk to Elias about this.”
My eyes flew wide open, and I almost choked on the last bite of my sandwich. After washing it down with some water, I asked, “Are you insane? I think it’s a little too soon to have the kids conversation.”
“Really? Why let things go further? If you know he doesn’t want to have kids, find out now. You also need to get over that crazy thing in your head that people are going to think you’re a bad person for stumbling into a situation where you didn’t know what was going on. Talk to him about that too.”
“I already did.”
“Oh. Well, good for you. You’ve got this.”
That was Susie, my personal cheerleader.
I went to the coffee truck after our lunch and dove into a busy afternoon. Working was a relief. I had a lot to think about between getting the loan approved for the purchase of Misty Mountain Café and Susie’s thoughts on Elias.
Immediately after a rush of mid-afternoon customers coming in from the harbor, I looked up to see Fran, Joel’s wife. Fuck my life. I was the only one there because Amy had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. She was only gone for an hour, but it was just my bad luck for Joel’s wife to show up now.
The only good thing was no one was in line behind her. I managed something resembling a smile. “Hi. Can I help you?” I was relieved I’d said those words so many times that they just came out automatically without any thought necessary. I felt sick to my stomach, and I tried to take a shaky breath.
Fran was quiet for a moment, and then I noticed how tightly her hand was curled around the handle to her purse. I didn’t want her to be nervous because she had nothing to fear from me, but it gave me a sliver of hope that maybe she wasn’t here to give me hell.
“I came to apologize,” she finally said, her words stiff.
“You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m the one who should apologize to you. I didn’t know Joel was married. I was horrified when I found out, and I still am,” I said earnestly.
She nodded slowly and swallowed. “I know now that he was lying to me when he said you knew he was married. I’m the one who slashed your tire that night. I was just feeling a little crazy.”
“Um, it’s okay. I can imagine the situation felt awful.” I paused, contemplating whether to let her know I’d seen Joel at that fundraiser with another woman. I finally decided to just tell her. We might as well be there for each other in some fashion. “Look, this is weird, but I think you should know I saw him with another woman at a fundraiser recently. I don’t expect you to trust me, and I’m not telling you to be hurtful. I just think you deserve to know the truth.”
Her lips twisted in a bitter smile. “I know. Well, I don’t know specifically that you saw them, but I know he’s having another affair. I called him on everything when I found out from a mutual friend of ours that he lied to you about everything, including his name. He’s an asshole.”
My heart ached for this woman. I was over Joel, but the situation still burned because I didn’t know how to trust myself anymore. Or, anyone else for that matter. I could only imagine what it felt like for her, considering they were actually married and she had children with him.
“I am so sorry,” I said fervently. “That sucks. I can’t even imagine how you feel.”
Her shoulders rose and fell when she took in a deep breath and let it out in a gust. “I’m actually better than I was before the first time. You weren’t his first affair, but it was the first time I found out. I felt so inadequate. I was so angry at that point, and I targeted some of it at you. It’s all so messed up because we have kids. No matter what happens to my marriage, I have to deal with him because of them. When I found out this time, I was just like, okay, we’re done, and it was kind of a relief. I think I knew that at first, but I didn’t know how to get to that place. If that makes any sense.”
“It does. I don’t know what I could do to help, but if there’s anything I can do, just let me know.”
Fran actually smiled a little at that. “That’s sweet of you. You seem like a really nice person. I’m actually divorcing him and moving back to where my parents are in Washington state. I think a fresh start for the kids and me is best. Plus, I’m going to get his business here in the divorce. That was his whole cover for going out of town and making up bullshit about who he was.”
“Good for you,” I said firmly. “Would you like a coffee? I promise it’s good.”
“Actually, I would. You’re so busy that I doubt you remember me, but I’ve been here before and this is my favorite coffee shop in Diamond Creek.”
“Really? That’s awesome. Today’s coffee is on the house. Tell me what you want.”
Fran got her coffee, and we actually chatted for a little longer. Then, my next wave of people sh
owed up off the boats, and she left. Although she couldn’t repair the situation for me, I felt an immense sense of relief for that conversation.
As the afternoon wound down, my phone buzzed with a text after Amy returned from her doctor’s appointment.
Susie: We’re going to yoga class with Tess to celebrate your new business.
I was up for yoga class, but it seemed like a strange choice for celebration.
Me: Yoga class?
Susie: Yes. There’s that new yoga studio. Tess says it’s amazing and relaxing. Let’s do that, and then, pizza and beer at DC Brewery.
Me: Yoga, pizza, and beer. Sounds like a plan.
I was laughing as I hit send.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Elias
I angled the plane in the sky, looking ahead to Diamond Creek. The small town was just coming into view from across the bay. The harbor was visible with boats streaming in slowly from a day of fishing. The roads curved up along the hillside, winding up into the mountains.
A light gust of wind buffeted the plane, and I adjusted to level the plane out after the turn. It felt so good to be flying again. I wiggled my ankle slightly, relieved to feel some flexion. The surgeon had told me I would always have a little trouble with rotation, but all in all, my ankle was back to working order. I was beyond relieved it was my left ankle rather than my right.
As I lowered the plane, I spied a sea lion swimming just outside the harbor entrance and gestured to the passengers to look down as we lowered. Sea lions were massive creatures and easily visible from the air in the shallow waters once you were low enough. I grinned at the oohs and ahhs coming from over my shoulder. As if to show off, an eagle took flight from one of the signs just as we came in for a landing at the airport, giving the passengers a close look as it flew level with us when we came down over the runway.
Alaska’s surfeit of wildlife could be so flashy. After we landed and the passengers disembarked, I rolled the plane into the hangar to put it up for the night. As I was doing the evening checks, Flynn came in from the side door, calling over, “How’d it go?”
“Good. Easy flight, happy customers. Best we can ask for.”
“Absolutely.” He stopped beside me as I hitched my backpack over my shoulder. “Want to go to yoga class with me?”
“I’m sorry, did you say yoga class?”
Flynn looked a little sheepish. “Daphne wants me to go with her.”
Diego had just come in and burst out laughing. “Daphne wants you to go to yoga class?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, guys. Just go with me. We can have dinner at the brewery afterwards.”
“Yeah, because yoga followed by beer totally makes sense,” I said dryly.
By this point, Diego reached us. He glanced between us. “I’m game.”
“What do we need to wear?” I muttered, knowing I was already doomed to be persuaded to join this madness.
Diego chuckled. Meanwhile, Flynn, revealing he’d planned this all along, said, “I had Cat get T-shirts and shorts for you guys out of the laundry.”
Diego met my gaze, his lips twitching. “We have no choice. You know that, right?”
“I’ll go,” I replied with a belabored sigh. I didn’t mean it, but it was fun to give Flynn a little grief.
“I’d like to point out that there is no way in fucking hell you would’ve ever gone to a yoga class before you met Daphne,” Diego offered.
Flynn gave us another sheepish smile. “I know. She likes the teacher, and she promised me there were other guys there.”
“But why do we have to go with you?” I asked as the three of us turned to leave together. Without needing to discuss it, we each went through the quick motions to close down the office and lock up the plane hangar before walking out to the parking lot.
“Because I need support,” Flynn said flatly.
“As you lift your arms, take a deep breath in,” the yoga teacher said in her soothing voice. “Take a breath all the way into your belly. Let it out, and then slowly lean forward. You can bend your knees as your head comes down if the backs of your thighs feel too tight.”
The yoga teacher, Gemma, did seem nice. She was pretty with amber curls that fell to her shoulders and stunning brown eyes. Diego was having trouble keeping his eyes off of her. Meanwhile, Cammi was here too, drawing my eyes to her again and again. I was only half paying attention to the class. She was here with Susie and another friend of hers, Tess.
We got here a little late, and Flynn cast an apologetic look toward Daphne as we hurried to the back of the almost full class.
We did a few balancing postures, and I found my left ankle challenged with that. Despite the distraction of Cammi, I actually liked the class, which surprised me. Afterward, Daphne was talking with Cammi in the parking lot about menu options for her apparently newly acquired café. That gave me an easy excuse to stop and chat with the rest of the group.
“We’re grabbing dinner together, do you all wanna come with us?” Susie asked.
“We were already planning on dinner,” Daphne said. “It was the only way I could persuade Flynn and the guys to come to yoga. Did you like it?” She looked from Flynn to Diego and then to me. All three of us nodded obediently. Daphne’s hazel eyes narrowed. “Are you just humoring me?”
“No, babe,” Flynn said as he slid his arm around her waist and dipped his head to dust a kiss on her cheek. “I actually liked it.”
“I swear, I did too,” I offered. “I didn’t realize how tight my back was though.” I absently rubbed my hand over my lower back. “I hope I don’t end up sore from all that stretching.”
Gemma happened to come out at that moment, hearing my comment. She smiled over at us as she locked the door. “You might be at first. Feel free to come back. The first four classes are free, so I promise I’m not trying to make money off of you.”
She stopped beside us, and I didn’t miss Diego’s gaze sweeping over her. He was enough of a gentleman not to ogle her. When her eyes landed on his, I was pretty sure there was a little sizzle in the air. Of course, perhaps I was confusing the sizzle with the fact that whenever I was near Cammi, my body felt like an engine revving.
“Thank you all for coming,” she added.
Tess smiled widely. “I told you I would get more students coming to your classes.”
“We’ll come back,” Susie chimed in.
“I’ll definitely be back,” Daphne offered.
“How long have you been in Diamond Creek?” Cammi asked.
Having been new in this small town myself, I knew the minute a new face appeared, unless it was obviously a tourist, people wanted the entire life story.
Gemma smiled. “Just a month. Hopefully I’ll see some of you at class next week.”
I wanted to ask Cammi to ride with me. When Susie pointed out that her small truck was crowded because Tess ended up needing a ride too, I wanted to kiss her. Susie was seriously nosy and had a reputation for interfering. I didn’t mind one bit if she was interfering and trying to make sure Cammi needed to ride with someone else.
“You can ride with me,” I offered.
When Cammi’s eyes swung to meet mine, I felt that now familiar jolt of lust sizzle down my spine. A few minutes later, we were in my truck. I came to the conclusion it probably hadn’t been the best plan to christen my truck the way we did. Because now all I could think about was finding another secluded location and getting my hands all over her.
I would have to make do with much less. “Come here,” I murmured, reaching for her hand and giving it a little tug.
She unbuckled her seatbelt and slid to the middle, immediately buckling up again. Because Cammi was a buckle up kind of girl.
“Close enough?” she asked.
“Yep. It feels good to have you beside me.”
The moment I said that, I realized the potential implications. The crazy thing was, instead of freaking out, I experienced the mental and emotional equivalent of a shrug. Although it
was hard to miss Cammi tensing slightly beside me. Seeing as we were about to meet our friends in a matter of minutes, I knew now wasn’t the time to ask what she might be worrying about. Instead, I slid my hand on her thigh because I couldn’t help myself.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Cammi
For the second time in a matter of weeks, I was at an actual social occasion with Elias, and he was behaving as if we were a real thing. I knew I needed to maybe ask him what it was that we were doing. Because it was awfully hard not to fall for him. He was the most ridiculously tempting man I’d ever been with. He was the kind of man women ruined panties over on the regular.
I tried to ignore Susie’s way too satisfied look. Tess even nudged her in the side at one point. Tess was a more protective friend. To clarify, Susie was crazy protective but more interfering.
“I think you’re smart to just stick with the menu they have,” Daphne was saying from my side. “Get settled and figure out the flow of everything and then call me. I’ll help you brainstorm.”
I looked toward her. “Daphne, you’re a real chef. I don’t have money to pay you for that right now. I’m not sure how fancy I want to be either.”
Daphne regarded me quietly, her eyes softening. “Cammi, we’re friends and you can bounce ideas off of me. I occasionally make more high-end things, but there’s nothing I respect more than really well done simple food. I love Misty Mountain Café, although your coffee is better,” she added quickly, “but their menu is pretty basic. I think it’d be great for you to bring the food up to the level of your coffee.”
“Yes!” Susie chimed in from across the table as she lifted up her glass of water.
“If you make food as good as your coffee, I’ll be there every morning. I won’t feel guilty either because I won’t be skipping your coffee,” Diego explained.
I experienced a flash of pride. I had yet to succeed on the food front, but I was feeling hopeful. No matter what, I loved having such loyal customers.