His brows knitted. “Okay. I didn’t mean to do that—”
“It doesn’t matter if you meant to do that or not. You did it.” I took a deep breath as I stared up at him. “What is going on, Seth? Why aren’t you training me anymore?”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he didn’t answer for a moment. “Like I said earlier, it’s just better that way.”
“That’s not an explanation.”
His gaze met mine and then flickered away. “It’s all the explanation you need to hear.”
Anger burst inside me once more and I barked out a short laugh. “Okay. You know what, I’m a grown-ass woman, and you don’t get to decide what I need and don’t need to hear.”
“I know that, but this time, I do.” His eyes deepened in hue, turning into a tawny color. “I’m not trying to be a jerk.”
“Then you need to try harder,” I fired back. “Because I’m pretty sure you just came out here to tell me the same lame crap you told me inside, and that’s nothing.”
Seth exhaled roughly as dark clouds began to roll in overhead, blotting out the sun and casting deep, unforgiving shadows across the quad. A storm was coming. “This isn’t going how I planned,” he said.
“How exactly did you plan this—whatever this is—to go, Seth? Everything was fine yesterday and—”
“Everything was not fine yesterday.” His arms dropped to his sides as he lowered his head so we were nearly eye level. “Yesterday was one huge-ass mistake. Fuck. Not just yesterday. Everything has been.”
Whoa.
I drew back again, actually took a step back from him. My mouth opened, but I’d lost the ability to form words as that fissure in my chest spread, cutting deep, and it throbbed and pulsed like a very real, raw wound.
“Everything?” That was the only word I managed.
He stared at me a moment and then looked away, cursing under his breath as he shoved his fingers through his hair. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right.” Tears clogged my throat, and I didn’t want to yell at him anymore. I only wanted this to be some kind of bizarre misunderstanding. “I don’t understand. Can you . . . can you please explain it to me?”
Seth lowered his arm and looked at me. There was a wealth of secrets in those odd eyes, and I stiffened like steel had been dropped down my spine. Instantly, I knew it would be better if I hadn’t asked the question. If I had just kept walking.
“I . . . I like you, Josie. I think you’re great,” he said, his voice flat once more, and what was in my chest just shriveled right up, like a flower left without water and sun. Everything was over. “But what we’re doing isn’t working out for me.”
“And you’re not just talking about training, are you?” I heard myself ask in a voice that was small and pitiful.
Seth said nothing, but thunder crackled in the distance.
“That’s wrong,” I whispered as I jabbed my finger at him. “You can’t even say it.”
“We’re not just talking about training. I’m talking about everything,” he said, and I flinched as that one word echoed throughout me. He looked away again, shaking his head. “Is that what you want me to say, Josie? Did that make you feel better hearing that?”
“No,” I admitted, drawing in a shaky breath. “Why? Why—”
“I don’t want to do this with you,” he interrupted, his voice cool but his words slicing right into me. “I don’t want to do any of this with you. Dammit, Josie, don’t make this hard. That’s enough of a reason.”
The burning sensation spread to my throat and chest, and I took another step back. I didn’t know what to say as I stared at him and only two words came out.
Hot tears welled up in my eyes. “Fuck you.”
I didn’t wait for his response, and this time, when I turned around, Seth didn’t stop me. I made it to my dorm and inside my room before my tenuous hold stretched too thin and then broke. The burn intensified, climbing back up my throat as I closed the door behind me and slid down, plopping onto the floor right in front of it. I smacked my hands over my face, pressing my palms into my eyes, but that did nothing to stop the tears.
There was so much to be worried about—training, finding demigods and the librarian, my mom and Erin, the Titans, and so much more, but right then, I didn’t care about any of that. My chest was split right open and my heart was torn out, left on a marble walkway by a group of olive trees. The pain was intense and consuming.
“Oh God,” I whispered into the silent room.
My shoulders shook as my fingers curled against my forehead. I clamped my mouth shut, stifling the sobs that were trying to break free, but the tears came. There was no stopping them. Hot wetness slipped down my cheeks. I thought I felt the floor move under me, a tremor that rattled the furniture, but I didn’t care about that either.
I didn’t understand. I had no idea what had happened, but the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, that wasn’t even the Seth I knew in the beginning. This was a whole different Seth I’d never seen before.
Like the day he’d punched that pure and looked at me afterward, this Seth was a stranger to me.
The worst part—oh, God—the worst part was I knew what I was feeling. The very real pain, the bitter swelling of emotions, and the deepness of hurt were signals of something powerful and pure. Something that no longer mattered.
I was in love with Seth.
And he’d just broken my heart.
Chapter 11
Seth
I was an asshole.
A huge asshole.
Nothing exactly new there, but any of the other times that I was a raging asshole, I didn’t feel like total shit. And I felt like total shit right now.
Hours later, as I stood on the outer wall surrounding the campus, I could still hear the brittle emotion in her words. They whipped at me like the wind did right now, chilling my skin. I didn’t have to close my eyes to clearly see the tears building in hers or to see the way she’d flinched.
Damn.
I’d hurt her. There was no denying that, but as I stared out over the dark grounds and tall pines, I knew I’d done the right thing. Lifting my right hand, I rubbed the spot above my heart. The right thing wasn’t easy. Fucking sucked, but I had to do it.
There was no way I could be trusted when it came to training her. I’d proven that to myself, and if I couldn’t be trusted training her, then I sure as hell couldn’t be trusted being with her. Not when I now knew how easy it was to mix need and . . . well, need.
“What are you doing up here?”
I turned at the sound of Solos’s voice. His dark hair appeared at the top of the wall as he climbed up the steep ladder. “Patrolling.”
Solos stood, brows arched. “Didn’t realize that was part of your duties here.”
“Didn’t realize that was any of your business.”
His lip curled up at the corners, stretching the jagged scar that ran from the corner of his eye to his jaw. “Look, all I’m saying is that if I didn’t have to be up here, I wouldn’t be.”
I folded my arms, turning my attention to the pines that were already starting to smell sweet.
“Especially when it’s as cold as Medusa’s tits up here.”
Nice imagery there. “I didn’t think this was your duty either since you were given a Council seat.”
“Not much to do on the Council other than sit around and listen to a bunch of people argue.” Solos moved to stand beside me, and I didn’t even bother to hide my sigh. “You know, if I had a girl like Josie within arm’s reach, I would—”
“If you don’t want to be knocked off this wall, I suggest you don’t finish that sentence,” I stated calmly.
Solos let out a low whistle. “Well then . . .”
I spared him a cursory glance. “Any interesting updates from the world beyond these walls?”
“No shade reports or Titan sightings, but we know that isn’t going to last. There have been some daimon attacks
near L.A. and just outside of Vegas. I also heard that there was a surprising number near Miami. Word is it’s a bunch of recently turned pures, so they’re going batshit.”
“What about closer?”
Solos lifted his arms and stretched, cracking the bones down his back. “There’s a sizeable cell of daimons outside of Rapid City. We got a scouting team following them right now since it’s too many for them to engage.”
This was the first I was hearing about this. “You aren’t concerned about that? It takes no leap of logic to figure out that a large group of daimons there will be heading in this direction. There isn’t much else.”
“We know that, Seth, but we can’t take away from guarding the Covenant, not with the threat of shades and Titans looming over us.” He lowered his arms. “They won’t get inside these walls. Not again.”
“But they can control animals. Remember last time, with the birds?” I’d been on the other side of the wall, out of their direct path, but I’d seen that Hitchcock horror come to life. “I can take out the daimons. I’ll leave—”
“You really going to leave here, where Josie is? Think about it, man. Worst-case scenario is that the Titans somehow are working with the daimons, just like Ares was. This could be a trap, lure Guards and Sentinels—you—away from here for them to strike.” He turned, gesturing inside the wall. “You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how woefully staffed we are when it comes to Guards and Sentinels. Many have left. Can’t blame them for that. Shit, sometimes I wonder why the hell I’m still here. Half of the damn Guards are pures. They can’t spot a daimon to save their lives. Literally. Plus there are more half daimons now than pure ones. Those fuckers are a bitch to kill, and even we can’t tell them apart. You leave, you’re opening us up to a huge risk.”
Hell. He had a point.
Man, what I’d give to have some newly turned daimons to take my frustrations out on. They were brutal and messy when new—at their most dangerous, as they were completely ruled by . . . by their need for aether.
“Want to hear something strange?” he said, and continued without my response. “When I went out beyond the walls today I heard birds and insects. The woods were alive.”
“Okay,” I replied. “Thanks for sharing.”
Solos stared ahead. “The only time it has been silent was when you were with us.”
Frowning, I looked over at him. “I have no idea how that’s not just a coincidence.” I paused. “Unless even the rabbits and crickets recognize how much of a badass I am.” I joked, but a flicker of unease shot through me. The forest’s abnormal quietness couldn’t have anything to do with me. That wouldn’t make sense.
“I just thought it was an interesting observation. Anyway, there’s the problem between the pures and halfs,” Solos continued, rocking back on the heels of his boots. “In every community, there’ve been issues. Just as bad as they are here.”
“Not entirely surprising.” My jaw worked. “By the way, did you ever hear who the pure was that went after Josie and that Colin guy?”
Solos shook his head. “No.” There was a pause and I could feel his gaze on me. “By the way, Josie didn’t come back to training after she left looking for you.”
I said nothing.
“Luke went looking for her. Knocked on her door, but she didn’t answer,” he continued. “He was sure she was in there, but she wouldn’t let him in. That’s weird, right? They’re close.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. My jaw began to ache as I shifted my stance. I didn’t like the idea of her being alone and I sure as hell didn’t like the idea of her shutting out Luke. “They’re close.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
A muscle began to throb in my temple as I looked over at him. “Remember what I told you. She really needs to work on the more brutal stuff. She’s not ready to really take someone down, to make the choice to use lethal force. We’ve—you’ve got to get her to that point.”
“I know. I didn’t forget. I know where her weaknesses are.” He was blissfully quiet for all of five seconds. “I don’t know why you stopped training her, but—”
“It isn’t any of your damn business, Solos. I’m not talking about that with you. That’s the last warning you’re going to get.”
“Look, all I’m saying is—”
I spun on Solos, dipping low and catching him at the knees with the swipe of my leg. He hit the cement, flat on his back. Before he could move, I brought my booted foot down on his throat, slow enough to allow him to catch it with his hands, but I pressed down with just enough pressure to let him know I was so fucking done with this.
Off in the distance, I could see two Guards staring in our direction. They didn’t come close as I stared down at Solos.
“I’m not sure what part of ‘this is none of your business’ you don’t understand, but let me explain something to you.” I summoned the air element when he moved his leg toward mine, pinning him down with ease. “We are not friends. We aren’t going to get personal and exchange war stories. You’re not going to question me, especially when it comes to her.”
“Damn,” Solos grunted out. “Here I thought we were buddies.”
“Not even close.” I tilted my head. “Do you feel me?”
Solos smirked. “I feel you, bro.”
“That’s smart.” His gaze met mine. “Don’t ever forget what I am, Solos.”
His gaze was unwavering. “I know exactly what you are, Seth.”
“Not really,” I replied.
He smiled this time. Like he didn’t have a boot pressing down on his throat. “I do. Whether you want to believe it or not, I do.”
I glared at him. Did he realize how easy it would be for me to end his existence? Halfs were hard to kill, but not impossible. Doubted he’d survive a fall from this wall. I would. And I sure as hell knew he wouldn’t take another breath ever again if I came down on his throat.
I pressed down, and his eyes widened. “You don’t know what I’m capable of. It would be extremely wise to remember that.”
“Duly noted,” he gasped.
I held him down for a moment longer. Total dick move on my part, but wanted him to get the message. He did, and then I lifted my foot. Stepping back, I let up on the air element. He sprung to his feet, rising fluidly as he eyed me warily. “Good thing we’re now on the same page.”
“It’s a good thing I sort of like you,” he returned.
Pivoting around and facing the side, I lifted my hand and flipped him off. Then I leapt off the twenty-foot wall. Using the element of air, I slowed the descent. Hitting the ground in a crouch, inside the campus, I landed right next to two Sentinels about to walk out the gate.
“Gods.” One of them jumped into the other.
I smirked as I rose and then started off toward the buildings. It was early, and I was restless. Normally I’d have my hands—
Cutting that thought off, I closed my hands into fists. Even thinking about her made me want to go face-punch the statue of Hades, who would thoroughly enjoy that display.
What I’d done to her made me sick to my stomach. It couldn’t be forgiven, and I should be as far away from here as possible, but I wasn’t. Nope. There were obstacles preventing that. Namely, I was Apollo’s bitch, and until he told me to go somewhere, I was here. Then there was the whole Titan problem and the . . .
Shit.
Who was I fooling? If I really wanted to get the hell out of here, I’d leave. Fuck Apollo and any consequences. Yeah, he was the puppeteer to my Pinocchio, but that hadn’t stopped me from roaming off before. If I really wanted to, I could leave right now and head for the Cyclades. I was still here because of Josie. I couldn’t be with her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t protect her.
But who will protect her from you?
The whispered words stopped me dead in my tracks. They were too real. Spoken out loud and yet inside my head. Turning around, I scanned the grounds with narrowed eyes.
Leaning again
st the golden statue of Apollo, arms crossed and one leg cocked, was that damn nymph. It winked at me.
“What the fuck, man?” I demanded.
Moonlight reflected off the shimmery skin as one bare shoulder rose. “I was just saying what you were thinking.”
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
“I’m special like that,” the nymph replied. “So special that I’m going to point out something very important to you.”
“Oh, lucky me.” My gaze narrowed on him. “Why are you here?”
He raised his chin and smiled. “Does that matter?”
“Hell, yes, that matters. You came to our aid before, when we were outside these walls, but that doesn’t mean I trust you or your intentions, whatever they may be.” Suspicion bloomed inside me. “What is your deal?”
The nymph blinked out and reappeared directly in front of me. Impressive. Even I couldn’t track its movement. “You’re making a huge mistake.”
Gods. Some nights just couldn’t get any worse. “My entire existence is a mistake, so you’re going to have to get a little more detailed about what exact mistake you’re talking about.”
The nymph’s all-white eyes crackled little bolts of light. “Staying away from her won’t save her.”
Well, I was immediately proven wrong. Tonight was officially getting worse.
“And it won’t save you either,” the nymph added.
I barked out a harsh laugh. “There is no saving me. I know what the end game is.”
“There is no such thing as finality,” he replied, leaning in so when he spoke next, his cool breath moved over my jaw. “All prophecies are designed to be rewritten. No fate, no matter what is sacrificed or bargained, is final.” He paused. “All the pieces are never shared.”
Stiffening, I resisted the urge to draw back from the weird nymph. “You don’t exactly believe in personal space, do you?”
He laughed, and got closer, which I didn’t exactly believe was possible until that very moment. It was. His chest brushed mine. “I don’t exactly believe you’re understanding what I’m saying to you, Apollyon. You had a chance to rewrite a prophecy before, but you failed.”
The Power (Titan #2) Page 9