by Cate Masters
Outside again, the frigid air didn’t help cool him down as he’d hoped. He located his cabin at the end of the first row, close to the pole barn. No unruly barking ensued, so he went inside, tossed his bag on the floor and parka on the bed. One sweep of the room to get his bearings, a bathroom stop, and he felt compelled to return to the main lodge.
He halted at the edge of the main room. The men hadn’t tired of lavishing their charm on Melanie, apparently. Beer in hand, Gina approached, grabbing another from a server’s tray. She pressed it into his hand. “Looks like you could use this.”
“You’re right, it’s been a hard day.” Not especially. In fact, it had been a comparatively easy day, but he clinked his bottle to hers anyway. “Thanks.”
“Come on. It’s not the only reason you needed a drink.”
He scanned the high ceilings. “True. I am uncomfortable in luxurious surroundings.”
“No.” Gina leveled her gaze at him. “You’re jealous.”
He feigned a disbelieving expression. “Of what?”
“An attractive male invading your territory.” She jerked her head toward Melanie.
“She’s hardly my territory, and I’m guessing she’s not anyone else’s either.” Had he acted unprofessionally? Or did Gina find him transparent? “I’m not exactly a Neanderthal.”
“No, you’re not, honey. Still, the instinct’s definitely there.”
“No way. Because he’s making her laugh?” And his shoulder’s touching hers? When the man grazed her knee, and Melanie glanced over at Buck, the look might have carried a flaming arrow to pierce his gut. Was the guy bothering her? Did she want Buck to rescue her?
Gina leaned close. “Warn me before you break into a Tarzan yell, okay? Or if you have a sudden urge to beat your chest?”
He eased away from Gina when Melanie sat more rigid, still watching him. Gina’s words swam through his head—your territory. Gina nailed another excellent point about him. Maybe it was the early nightfall, the fire burning bright, or the fact he hadn’t slept with a woman in months. Whatever the reason, his Neanderthal instincts surged strong. He wanted to explore that territory.
Instead, he slurped his beer. Remember, distance and perspective. He had a feeling it was all about to crash into a mangled, unrecognizable heap.
Chapter 7
Melanie kept telling herself the magical setting had affected her. She hadn’t expected such a gorgeous log cabin as the Vakkara Wilderness Lodge. Hadn’t expected Buck to have high ideals, and expect the same from others. Hadn’t expected to want to know him better, but every hour she spent with him, the urge grew stronger.
Like Hayden so astutely pointed out, she hadn’t acted normal for months. And if she wasn’t careful, she’d lose the last recognizable bit of herself. Would it be such a terrible thing? She hadn’t much liked the person she’d become. The life she’d created kept her moving, always moving, fast as a high-speed express train. And always searching, though she knew what she searched for couldn’t be found.
Up here, everything felt different. She felt different. Less driven and more grounded.
The need hit her to slow down. To notice her surroundings and enjoy life for once. The last three years had been a blur, but none of it enough to fill the void.
Except when she was near Buck, the emptiness inside her eased. She almost remembered who she used to be with Pete, the girl who loved waking up every day. Since coming to Sweden, little bits of her old self had begun to restore themselves. To heal. Not quite whole yet, but when she’d awakened this morning, she’d looked forward to the day, and not only because of the spectacular scenery.
“Hey.” Hayden slid onto the arm of the sofa. “We good?”
How to answer a loaded question? “We’re a team.”
A laugh, and he braced his hands against his knees. “Or you’re the star and I’m the grunt worker.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Is that how he saw their working relationship? After she tried so hard not to draw any distinction between any of them? Never claimed special privileges? Never demanded better treatment than the others?
“I don’t see it as ridiculous.” He scanned her face. “Guess I was wrong about a lot of things.”
“Hayden.” Exasperated, she said no more. No sense taking the bait and starting a scene. Or anything else.
“I need another drink.” He shoved off.
No surprise there. Too bad alcohol never helped her. Standing, she came face to face with Gina.
“Where are you going?” Gina asked too perkily.
“To the sauna.” Away from here.
“Fantastic idea. Hang on.” Gina nabbed another bottle of beer from a server’s tray and hurried back. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Great.” She glimpsed Buck staring at her and flushed with warmth. Who needs a sauna when I have crazy hormones? She handed Gina her parka and put on her own. The separate cabins looked cozy enough on the lodge web site, but the walk between the main building and the cabins presented an extreme temp change. So pretty, though. Once outside, the pristine beauty struck her again. The outline of the towering evergreens stood out against the starry sky. They were at the top of the globe, and worlds away from familiar territory. She’d fallen in love with every part of this place.
Along the walk to the building housing the sauna, Gina prattled on about her sore muscles, how they practically screamed for steam. Melanie inserted sounds of agreement here and there, and her friend kept on talking, but came to an abrupt halt.
“What’s wrong?” Melanie asked.
“Should I bring the camera? I mean, you’ll be in a towel, right?”
“Skip it. The steam’s probably no good for the equipment anyway.” She linked arms with Gina and tugged her the last few feet toward the sauna lodge.
“Sorry, I should have thought of that earlier. I think the cold has seeped into my brain.”
“I’m glad you didn’t anyway. We can’t record everything.” The show had to afford them some privacy, after all.
Gina scrunched up her mouth. “It’s kind of why we’re here. I don’t want to get fired.”
Melanie opened the door and gestured Gina through. “You won’t. I take full responsibility. Not that anyone will ask.” So what if the network found out?
Unzipping her coat, Gina said, “This has been a weird trip. I can’t remember when we’ve had so much down time.”
“We’ve worked hard. We need this sauna.” Removing her parka, Melanie followed the signs for the changing rooms.
“I like your reasoning.”
They stripped and wrapped long towels around themselves, then followed the corridor to the sauna. A few others sat on the benches, heads resting against the wall, eyes closed.
Melanie hadn’t imagined it would be quiet. Following Gina to a vacant bench, she didn’t break the silence. Steam worked its way through her, easing her muscles.
“This is nice,” Gina whispered.
“Lovely.” She could get used to it. More relaxing than meditation. If only her mind would calm and stop leaping back to the lodge. What was Buck doing? The way he’d watched her, she could have sworn he appeared irritated. Why? For socializing? She loved meeting new people, learning about their backgrounds, their homelands. He couldn’t blame her for doing her job, could he?
After a few minutes, the outer door slammed. Men spoke in low tones. Soon after, Vic and Hay padded in, wrapped in towels and shooting video.
“I told you they were here,” Hay said to Victor. “Thought you could escape, huh?”
“Silly me.” Melanie closed her eyes and pretended to relax. What she’d have loved to do was strangle Hayden.
Victor sat beside Gina. “Ahhh. Heaven.”
“A necessity,” Melanie said without opening her eyes. “We can’t have our muscles cramping tomorrow. We’ll be mushing another five hours.”
“Isn’t it time for something more exciting?” Hay a
sked.
“Like what?” Too bad she couldn’t block her ears as well as her eyes.
“Anything. Skiing. Snowboarding. Mountain climbing.” Hayden was the epitome of exasperation.
“Too dangerous in February.” Weak argument, yet her brain came up with nothing else.
“Did I hear right? Melanie Michaels calling something ‘too dangerous?’”
Her eyes popped open. Had she? “Of course. We can come back in summer months to explore.” Quit zooming in on me, Hay.
He nudged her. “Go talk to those people. Give me something to record.”
She glanced over at the three resting people who ignored them. “No, they’re busy.”
Hayden mimicked the sound of a buzzer. “They’re the opposite of busy. Come on, do your thing.”
She settled back against the wall. “I’m not going to invade their privacy anymore than we already have.”
“Fine.” Hay eased away from her. “Excuse me. We’re the crew of the American reality show No Boundaries. Where are you from?”
“Television?” One man’s expression turned sickly.
Another held up a hand to block the lens. “I never gave permission for you to film me.”
Uh oh, trouble. “Turn the camera off, Hay.”
He kept shooting. “Sure you don’t want to say something to the American public?”
Lip curled, the man tugged his towel tighter. “Yes, I do. You’re all rude and inconsiderate.”
“Hayden, I said turn it off.” To the others, she said, “I’m very sorry. None of the footage inside the sauna will appear on the show.”
Hayden flipped the power off. “The hell it won’t.” He strolled out.
“I’ll erase the clip myself,” she reassured them again. The outer door slammed. So much for relaxing. A sigh, and she told Gina, “I’m going to the cabin.”
“Me too.” Gina followed her to the dressing room.
They bundled up and went outside. After the extreme heat, the night’s chill seeped into her bones. “Why is Hayden being such an asshole?”
Gina laughed. “He’s always an asshole. You never noticed before?”
Her teeth chattered. “He usually masks it with more charm.”
A hoot, and Gina hugged herself. “Not to me. Brr!”
Had Melanie’s crazy ambition blinded her to it? If so, she was truly sorry. “Do you like your job?”
Gina turned wide eyes toward her. “Hell yeah. Don’t you?”
“I don’t even know anymore.” No denying it. Her crew saw right through her.
“It seems like a good time to figure it out.” Gina said it with zero sarcasm or animosity, but like a friend.
Grateful, Melanie trudged through the snow with a sense of peace. She didn’t have to ask what Gina meant. She couldn’t agree more. Other than the occasional bark of a dog, the land held only silence. The perfect place to think. The frigid air, the snow-covered landscape, the gorgeous sky had cleared her mind. Restored her focus.
She paused before going inside the cabin to search the dome of darkness overhead. “No aurora tonight.” The stars were plentiful, so she didn’t mind so much. It still seemed weird for darkness to fall so early, but weird in a good way. She’d always loved the night sky.
“Maybe they’ll appear later.” Gina bustled inside.
More slowly, Melanie followed. “I wonder what’s for dinner.”
Gina eyed her with suspicion. “Let me guess—you’re starving.”
Oddly enough, she was. “Yes, why?”
Studying her, Gina shook her head. “Oh, nothing.”
To halt the conversation from going deeper, she waved her off. “The cold air does it.”
“Or the hot guy.” Gina combed the tangles from her hair and lifted a brow suggestively. “Buck.”
“You think he’s hot?”
Gina waved her off. “Stop pretending you don’t.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway.” Melanie tried to sound matter-of-fact. “He’s spoken for.”
“By who?” Gina hooted. “His dogs?”
“The pilot. Anakarina. Anna Karenina. Whatever her name is.” Melanie waved, wishing she could wipe away the nasty afterthought the pilot left.
Gina gaped. “No way.”
She couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, yes way. She threatened me before she flew off into the sunset.”
“I can’t see those two together. She’s too brittle.” Gina gave a mock shiver.
Melanie shrugged. “The old ‘opposites attract’ in play.”
Gina’s expression soured. “I still don’t buy the idea of them as a couple. He didn’t have any interest in her. With you, it’s a whole different story.”
“Because he’s always pushing me away?” Had she just admitted to being attracted to him? And after she’d tried so hard to hide her curiosity.
“He follows every move you make.”
“Maybe he’s a pickup artist. If so, Pilot Girl must know he cheats, so she warns females off before he has the chance to hit on them.” A flawed theory if she ever heard one.
“Or,” Gina pointed at her. “Pilot Girl’s been flying circles around him in vain. She knows he doesn’t want her but tries to eliminate competition anyway.”
“Not a plausible story.” Melanie had to put a stop to this conversation. They could make up scenarios all night and still not know which was real. That would drive her crazy. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go eat.”
“Okay.” Gina put on her parka. “My money’s still on you.”
“There’s no bet.” She hoped.
“True, when the odds are heavily in your favor.” Gina beamed at her.
“Out.” She ushered her to the door, dying to know what her remark meant. Better not to ask. She wasn’t ready to go there, even in theory.
Her heart lurched when she entered the main lodge. Buck stood beside the window. Hair combed back, in a black sweater and jeans, he looked strikingly handsome.
And that smile. It hit her like an avalanche and stole her breath. Her brain? Lost in a white out, worse than a sudden blizzard, with the two of them caught in the middle, obscuring everyone else from view. Time and again, she told herself to stop staring, look away. At best, her resolve lasted a few seconds before she gave in again.
Close to declaring dinner a disaster, she caught sight of the aurora borealis through the window. It reminded her she’d come here for a reason, and she hurried to finish eating.
“Hey Gina,” she whispered. “I’m calling it a night.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. I need to catch up on sleep. Take care of the boys for me?” Melanie’s cue for her costar to take over for her.
After a beat, Gina gave a hesitant, “Okay.”
On the walk to the cabin she shared with Gina, Melanie stopped to take in the glowing green and blue hues.
“Aren’t the lights amazing?” she asked the night sky. “Pete, can you hear me?” Nothing. This time, she hadn’t expected an answer.
“Hey, are you all right?”
Buck. She hadn’t heard him approaching. “Yes, I’m fine.”
He trudged to her side and wiped a tear from her cheek. “You’ll turn into an icicle if you’re not careful.”
“No chance.” She’d been frozen for years, buried her emotions beneath layers and layers of ice pack. A freaking glacier of baggage weighing her down. Until now, it had seemed normal. Until the warmth of his palm against her cheek melted it away.
He stared up at the sky. “Kind of addicting, aren’t they?”
“Yes. It’s an unbelievable kind of euphoria. Like a high.” Indescribable.
“I had pretty much the same reaction my first time.”
“No you didn’t.” He had to be teasing. She couldn’t imagine him emotional about anything. Except perhaps his dogs.
He chuckled, his mouth turned up in half a smile. “I know, hard to believe. I think
they hypnotized me. I never wanted to leave.”
Now that, she understood. If she wouldn’t freeze to death, she’d love to sleep beneath them. Would Pete return to her then?
“Photos never do them justice.” Buck’s upturned face reflected the soft glow.
Such a handsome face. Why did a good-looking guy choose to live such a solitary existence? “Don’t you get lonely?” Gah, I said it out loud. A rookie mistake. Luckily, no one had followed her with a camera.
His smile faded into a wince. “Sometimes this country’s too crowded for my tastes. What about you? What keeps you running from place to place?”
“My work.” He already knew that much.
A knowing gleam lit his eyes. “Come on, there’s more to it.”
Whoosh—there it was, the sound of her hopes flushed away. He was no different than the others. He was fishing for information. “Contrary to the tabloids, there isn’t. I have a crew who depends on me, and an audience who, for whatever reason, likes to tune in every week.”
He shrugged. “Never read the tabloids, and I hardly ever watch TV. A reality show doesn’t seem worth risking your life.”
Other than people such as the Sami, she didn’t think anyone ignored the media. “Every part of life is a risk. People die crossing a busy street or driving to work. Hell, people have fatal accidents texting on their cells while walking.”
“Do you deny your chances of an accident are higher than most?”
No Boundaries. Three years ago, it sounded perfect. Now she wasn’t so sure, but she’d convinced network execs to take a leap, and now all she did was leap. And dive. And plummet. Each time, the bottom loomed nearer. One day, if she didn’t stop, she’d slam into it. Pete had warned her, and she believed him.
“Does silence mean you won’t argue the point?” he asked.
Or wished she didn’t have to. Damn, she thought she was ready, but now really wasn’t sure she could have this conversation yet. Not with him. “I wouldn’t recommend it for the general public.” Her voice sounded weary even to herself. “I’ve done this for three years. I train hard. And before every show, I weigh statistical probability for an accident.” Yeah, right. More likely America would lose interest in a heartbeat if she didn’t push it to the limit on every freaking episode.