He nodded but didn’t respond. Not knowing what else to do, she sat by him in silence and watched the water as it fell from the top of the fountain.
Chapter Ten
Two weeks later, Anna glanced up from her piano when she heard someone enter the drawing room. She assumed it was Appleton, but to her surprise, it was Watkins. He went over to the settee and looked expectantly at her. Her fingers paused on the keys.
He smiled and motioned for her to continue. “I enjoy listening to you play.”
“You do?”
Giving her an annoyingly charming grin she still hadn’t gotten used to, he nodded. “You can be assured I meant every word I said.” Then he leaned back and placed his hands behind his head, never once taking his eyes off her.
Her face warmed under those intense green eyes of his. So much like her husband and yet so different. With her husband, those eyes made her shiver in dread. With him, it made her shiver in delight. Forcing the observation aside, she resumed her playing. If he wanted to come in here and listen to her play, the least she could do was oblige him.
But the matter was easier said than done, for her fingers kept slipping on the keys. After the fifth time she missed a note, she gave up and closed the songbook.
“Why did you stop?” he asked, straightening in his seat.
She offered a nonchalant shrug. “I was done with the song.”
There was no way she’d tell him the truth, that he unnerved her and that whenever he was around, all she could think of was how wonderful he was. Yes, he was attractive, too, just as her husband had been, but it was his sweet temperament that called to her, insisting she throw caution to the wind and fall in love with him.
She cleared her throat. “Perhaps I’ll go for a walk.”
With a disappointed sigh, he asked, “Must you? I was enjoying what you played.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say that because of her mistakes, there was no way he could have enjoyed the melody, but then she realized he had enjoyed it because she played it. She could have hit every wrong key, and he would have liked it. “You’re much too kind,” she finally told him.
“I don’t see how being honest is being kind, but if you say so…” She stood, so he quickly added, “I meant what I said. I’d like to hear you play. You spend so much time at that piano, but I only get to hear snippets of your music. Would you grant me the privilege of at least two more songs? Then if you still wish, we can go for a walk. I’ll even take the horse along to get used to it.”
She sat back down. “You strike a hard bargain, Your Grace.”
“I didn’t think you’d continue playing any other way.”
He was right, but she chose not to admit it. Instead, she opened the book. “Do you prefer it to be light or dark?”
“I prefer music.”
It took her a moment to pick up on his joke, and when she did, she shot him an amused grin. “You know what I meant.”
He chuckled. “Play something cheerful and romantic.”
Arching an eyebrow, she said, “I didn’t think gentlemen preferred romantic.”
“Of course, we do, especially in the presence of a beautiful lady.”
“You speak like a rake, Your Grace.”
Without waiting for his reply, she turned her attention to the book and picked out a melody he’d probably enjoy. Fortunately, it was also something easy to play, which would mean fewer mistakes.
Or at least that was the theory. As she played, she was acutely aware that he was watching her. At one point, she dared a peek in his direction and saw that he was smiling at her. But it was more than a smile. It was the way he smiled, as if he saw everything lovely and perfect in a lady when he looked at her. This shouldn’t have caused her greater unease, but it did and the resulting jumbled mess she played made her wish she had picked something short. This song was much too long. She grimaced her way through the rest of it and was relieved when it finally came to an end.
She breathed a sigh of relief and closed the book. If she had to go through that horror again, she might give up on playing anything for the rest of her life. She stood and, pretending she hadn’t noticed the way she butchered the song, said, “I think we should walk without the horse this time.”
He rose to his feet. “That was very well done. I hope you’ll let me listen to you play again in the future.”
She settled for saying, “Maybe,” and left it at that. Who knew? Maybe twenty or thirty years from now, she could play for him without botching up the whole thing. “I’ll need to change into more suitable shoes. I’ll be back soon.” Before he could talk her into another song, she hurried out of the room.
***
By the time Anna showed up at the door of the drawing room, Jason was tapping the keys of the piano. He smiled when he saw her. She was a vision of loveliness, just the kind of thing that made a gentleman’s blood come to a boil. His initial thought was to chastise himself for thinking of her in such a way, but she was his wife. He had every right to think of her in sensual terms. They’d shared a bed together in the past. It was a shame he didn’t remember it.
But he reasoned that they’d be sharing a bed again. Maybe not right away but soon enough, or at least that’s what he hoped. Whatever he’d done to make her unhappy, he hoped that he could redeem himself.
“Are you ready for the walk, Your Grace?” she asked, still waiting for him in the doorway.
Forcing his attention off her figure, he tapped a key on the piano and asked, “Did I ever play the piano?”
“No.”
“Why not? It looks like fun.”
Her lips curled up into a smile and she entered the room. “I enjoy it immensely.”
“I gathered that much by how often you play it. You needn’t be so worried about playing in front of me. I love to watch you play.” And watch was the keyword. He much preferred to look at her while she played instead of standing in the hallway and listen to her. “In addition to you and Appleton teaching me how to read, would you like to teach me how to play something?”
She clasped her hands in front of her. “I don’t know.”
“Why? Did I used to hate the piano?”
“No, it’s not that.”
Noting the hesitant tone in her voice, he pressed, “Am I an undesirable pupil when it comes to reading and writing?”
“No. You’ve been an excellent one.”
“So why won’t you explain what these silly looking things are?” He held up one of the songbooks and pointed to the bars with different dots on them. “The only thing I recognize is the words at the top of the page.”
“That’s the title.”
“Oh. Good.” He set the book in front of him. “Now that we’ve established that, how do I play the song?” He patted the spot on the bench next to him. “You lead; I’ll follow.”
She let out a sigh, and he couldn’t tell if it was from frustration or because she detected his ploy to get close to her. Either way, it didn’t matter since she sat next to him. He noticed she left enough space between them so they weren’t touching, but he quickly corrected that oversight and closed the gap between them.
“Watkins,” she said, a hint of warning in her voice.
In an effort to distract her, he tapped a black key. “What do the black ones do?”
“Those are for flat or sharp notes.”
“What do flat and sharp notes do?”
“They enhance the music when they’re played at the right time.”
“Oh well, that’s good.” He tapped a white key. “So these white ones don’t enhance the music?”
She giggled. “They do. It really depends on the melody and how all the notes go together.” She picked up another book and placed it in front of him. “If you want to start playing the piano, you need to start with the basics. These notes on the page form a C-major scale: C, D, E, F, G, A, B.”
“It almost sounds like the order of the alphabet.”
“Well, it is in a
way, but the note you start with depends on what type of scale you’re using.” Before he could ask another question about scales, she motioned to the keys. “This is where the C-major scale begins. As you go up the scale, you can think of the alphabet. Remember that when you get to ‘G’, you go back to ‘A’. Here’s how you play a C-major scale.”
He watched as she played each key. “You’re good at this.”
“It’s not hard to play a scale.”
“Then I should try it.” He followed the path her fingers had gone up the piano and let his hand brush hers since her hand was still resting on the keys. “How was that?”
Her face grew pink as she pulled her hand away. Clearing her throat, she replied, “You did very well, but next time you need to also look at the sheet music in front of you so you can remember which note goes with which key.”
“Where are the sharp and flat notes?”
“That’s not covered in this lesson. What you need to do is get familiar with the notes.”
“Oh.” He glanced at the sheet music and the keys. “Just how long does that take?”
She shrugged. “It depends on how much time you put into it. The more you practice, the faster you’ll pick things up.”
He frowned.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, peering up at him.
“I thought I was going to play a song today. Is that not going to happen?”
She chuckled and shook her head. “I’m afraid not. You need to learn the basics before you can play one of the songs.”
“But you make it look so easy.”
“I’ve been doing this for twenty years. I learned the basics when I was a child.”
“And you play something every day,” he thoughtfully stated. “It’ll take me twenty years to play what you do today?”
“Not quite. I’ve been playing those songs for years. I enjoy them more than others, so I play them often.”
He played the scale, and though he was looking at the music sheet in front of him, he was paying more attention to how close her hand was to his. Though she wasn’t playing anything, her hand remained on the keys, something he guessed was as natural to her as breathing. “How long did it take until you learned to play one of your favorite songs?”
“I don’t remember. I think I was twelve or thirteen when I played one.”
He ended the scale and brushed his hand against hers. She didn’t pull away from him, but he noticed the way she slightly stiffened against him. He quickly went down the scale, and as he suspected, she relaxed. It was a shame. She was so soft and kind. He’d have to have a heart of stone to not love her. If only he knew what he could do to break through her wall.
“I think that’s enough practice for today,” she said and stood up from the bench.
“But I only did the C-major scale.”
She didn’t look in his direction but focused on closing the songbooks. “We can practice another time if you wish. I’d rather go for a walk if you don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t mind,” he softly replied and stood up. “I’m willing to walk my horse.”
She turned her gaze to his. “I only played one song for you. You aren’t under any obligation to do that.”
Taking her by the elbow, he led her out of the drawing room. Once they put on their cloaks, they left the manor, and he said, “I’m ready to try it.” And considering how important it seemed to her that he learn to be comfortable with a horse, he wanted to show her he was making an effort.
“In that case, I should’ve worn my riding outfit,” she said.
“You’ll be fine,” he assured her and gave her elbow a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not riding the horse. You’re just helping me walk it.”
“I would like to be with you in case you need assistance.”
“You do care about me,” he teased.
Though she sighed, a smile formed on her lips. “Watkins, I didn’t say no about marrying you because I don’t care about you. You understand that, don’t you?”
“I know. You just don’t feel it’s necessary since we’re already married.” Since she didn’t reply, he added, “I understand, Anna. Please don’t think I’m complaining because I’m not. I was joking. I know you care about me. You wouldn’t have helped me after I got ill if you didn’t care.”
Though she nodded, he wondered if he said something that upset her. She never voiced a complaint about anything he’d done in their past, and he understood she had cause to be wary of him. It seemed to be a fine line to tread. At times, he sensed they were drawing closer and at other times, like now, he sensed she was pulling away from him. He just wished he understood why. If he did, he might be able to do something to rectify things.
When they reached the stable, his attention turned from her to the horses, specifically his horse which was in its stall. He didn’t realize his grip had tightened on her elbow until she winced. “I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized and put his hand to his side.
“It’s all right.” She offered him an understanding smile before telling the stable master to get his horse ready for a walk.
As the stable master hurried to perform the task, she glanced at him and whispered, “Are you sure?”
Jason swallowed the lump in his throat. “It’s just a walk. I won’t get on it. I’ll be fine.”
Even as he said the words, his heart rate picked up and his breathing grew shallower. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and wondered why he should have such an intense reaction from being near a horse. It didn’t make any sense. If he had to have this reaction, it should have been from the stairs. After all, he’d fallen down those. He hadn’t suffered an injury from a horse.
“Let’s wait outside,” Anna whispered and led him out of the stable. “There’s no reason to stay in there when the weather is nice enough to enjoy.”
He took a deep breath of the crisp air to settle his nerves. “I can’t explain it. I don’t know why horses frighten me as much as they do.”
“I don’t know either.”
He wished she did. Without his memory, there was no way he could figure out what incident caused him to be this way. The stable master arrived with the horse, and he took a step away from it.
“I’ll take the reins,” Anna told him and accepted them from the stable master. “We can walk down that path.” She motioned to the trees along the property. “We haven’t been down there yet.”
Forcing his eyes off the horse, Jason joined her as she headed for the trees. “It might be a nice change of pace.” Especially since all the fountain did was remind him that she wasn’t interested in marrying him again.
She walked beside him, and it didn’t go unnoticed that she stood between him and the horse, something he was grateful for since it lessened his anxiety. He looked at the way she held the reins and made a mental note to do the same thing when it was his turn.
“He’s an easy horse,” she said. “He’s been well-trained.”
“I know. I can tell that.” He studied the horse which showed no signs of aggression.
“I’m proud of you.”
Surprised, he turned his gaze to her. “Why?”
“You’re afraid of the horse, and yet you’re pushing through your fears. I admire that about you.”
“Well, when you’ve been on the brink of death, I suppose there’s not much to stop you from doing anything.”
Further surprising him, she reached for his hand and held it. “I’m glad you lived. Even if it may not seem like it, I’m thankful you’re here.”
Her confession thrilled him to no end, and despite his better judgment, he encouraged her to stop walking so he could face her. “That’s a wonderful thing to say.”
Lowering her gaze, she softly replied, “I only said it because it’s the truth.”
“Which is why I appreciate it all the more.”
He brushed her cheek with his free hand, and when she looked up at him, he tilted her head back and kissed her. It wasn’t something he had p
lanned to do when he agreed to walk with her, but the moment seemed right. She was opening up to him, revealing a part of herself he hadn’t seen before—at least not that he could remember, and all he wanted to do was show her how much she meant to him. Even if he couldn’t say the words, he could still reveal his feelings.
After a moment’s hesitation, she responded to him. Her lips were soft and warm, and he wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever. She was wonderful. Absolutely and completely wonderful. But too soon, she pulled away from him and brushed a tear from her cheek.
“Anna?” he asked, wondering why a kiss should make her cry.
She shook her head and turned from him. “I can’t. It’s not right.”
“What do you mean it’s not right?” he pressed. She led the horse further down the path, so he hurried after her. “I don’t understand. We’re married. What could be wrong with us sharing a kiss?”
“I can’t explain it.”
“You can’t explain it?”
She stopped walking and faced him, her eyes begging him to understand something she couldn’t tell him. “You’re better off not knowing. I’m sorry.”
He stared at her for a long moment, wondering if he should press the issue or let it go. The only reason he relented was because he was afraid if he didn’t, her wall would go right back up, which was the last thing he wanted after the progress they made that afternoon. “All right,” he softly replied. “I’ll take the reins now.”
She glanced at the reins and then at him. “Watkins, I…” She released her breath. “Why do you have to be so nice?”
Of all the things she could have said, he didn’t expect that. Laughing, he took the reins from her, and despite his apprehension, he stepped around her and stood next to the horse. “I don’t see why being nice should be a problem.”
Giving a slight grin, she replied, “It’s not. It’s just…” She shook her head and rubbed her forehead.
Her Counterfeit Husband Page 9