by Jen Talty
Worse, it tickled her heart in a way that no other man ever had.
It was real.
Too real.
Cove waltzed up to the front of the federal building and stopped dead in his tracks by the front door. “Geri?”
A tall woman with shoulder-length red hair wearing a pair of form-fitting jeans and a white blouse turned with her hand still on the door handle. “Why I thought I could show up here and not see you considering you’re fucking a friend of mine, I have no idea.”
“Well, it’s nice to see you too,” he said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. He knew he shouldn’t have been terse, but it had been years, and it felt childish to continue with the angst, but he just couldn’t resist.
“Can’t say the same,” she said.
“Why are you here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” she said.
“I’m meeting Serenity. She’s expecting me. Of course, you know that since all you think I’m doing is screwing her.” Oh, he needed to just shut the fuck up. “Which I’m not.”
“Are you trying to tell me you’re not sleeping with Serenity?”
“That’s actually none of your business, and I don’t think she’d appreciate us speaking about her like this.” He lifted his shades off his nose and pushed them to the top of his head. “And for your information, she’s not just a notch on my bedpost. I care about her.”
Geri laughed. “That’s rich coming from you.”
“Come on. You know I cared about you when we were together, but we were basically kids.”
“No. We were adults, and you were a dick to me, and it messed with my head good.”
“I can’t believe you’re still this angry at me,” he said, tossing his hands to the sides. “It was almost twelve years ago. I’ve apologized many times.”
“My anger over you has become my thing, and it works for me.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“No one ever does, but the reality is you were too damn immature to be honest with me and yourself, and I paid the price. But you know what?”
“No. However, I suspect you’re going to tell me.”
“Standing here looking at you, I realize I feel absolutely nothing for you. Nothing. I mean nada, zilch, and I always thought if I ever saw you again, I’d have all these residual feelings, but I don’t.” She smiled, brushing her hair from her face. “And that feels damn good.”
“Well, that makes me happy, then.”
Geri waggled her finger in his face. “But don’t mistake that for me ever being nice to you because that won’t happen.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t you dare hurt Serenity. She’s a sweetheart.”
Cove tapped the center of his chest. “I think we might have to worry about her breaking my heart,” he mumbled.
Geri had turned and taken two steps into the building. She spun around and blinked wildly. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh no, you don’t, Cove Adam Reddington. I was once in love with you and thought we’d have kids and a dog and live in Scarsdale, so you don’t get to nonchalantly tell me you actually have real feelings for a woman that might break your heart if and when it ended.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“You’re the one who brought it up, so yes, you are.”
He groaned. “I have no idea what is going on. She and I are cut from the same cloth, and neither one of us want to be tied down, and yet I find myself doing and saying things I swore I never would again, and do you want to know why?”
“Sure,” Geri said.
“Because of you,” he admitted. “I might have been a total asshole back then, but I wasn’t clueless as to the pain I caused you, and if I could go back in time, I would have done it all so differently, like I have with every other woman I’ve gotten involved with since then.”
“And what does that mean?”
“I tell them I’m not capable of long term,” he said.
“Shit.” She took a couple steps back and sat on one of the metal benches in the lobby. “You’ve never actually been in love, have you?”
“Closest I’ve ever come was with you.”
“God, that’s pathetic,” Geri said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ears.
“Gee, thanks.” He sat down next to her. “Why are you here?”
“Truth?”
He nodded.
“In part because of the bomber, and if I’m being completely honest, I wanted to see you. I needed to know if I was holding on to this crap to keep one foot in the past out of fear, or if there was something there. You see, Michael, my boyfriend, he wants to get married, and I keep coming up with excuses, but after talking with you for just a few minutes, I know I can move on.”
He took her hand and kissed it. “I’m glad. You deserve to be happy and have everything you hope and dream about.”
“So do you.”
He chuckled. “I just realized I don’t have any, but when I’m with Serenity, I want them.”
“This is not what I expected to be talking about when I showed up here.” She set her bag on the floor and crossed her arms. “Of course, I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I saw you, if I saw you, but this wasn’t it.”
“Does Serenity know you here?”
“I helped her with a warrant that needed to be issued in my name, so yeah, she knew I took the next charter flight to New York.”
“What was the warrant for?”
“If she wants you to know, she’ll fill you in,” Geri said. “She said you saved her life, twice.”
He rubbed his chest. The idea that Serenity might not be in his life made his heart ache. He’d never felt that way for a woman before. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the ladies he dated, it’s just that he hadn’t loved any of them.
But he couldn’t say that he loved Serenity.
Heavy like for damn sure.
But no one fell in love in a couple of days, especially someone like him.
Or Serenity for that matter.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he said.
“Wow. Cove Reddington has humility, and he even wears it well.”
He chuckled. “I’m not that idiot I used to be.”
“Too bad. I wanted to hate you and tell Serenity to dump you, even though you did save her from being blown to bits, and don’t say you didn’t. Had you not been there, both times, bad things would have happened, and I know Serenity. She wouldn’t admit that unless it was absolutely true.”
“What else did she say?”
“About you?” Geri asked as she stood. “For as long as I’ve been bitching about you, I’ve never once told anyone your name. I figured the circles we run in are pretty tight, and I never wanted to hurt your career. When she and I spoke on the phone a few hours ago, she told me the same thing she told me a couple of years ago, and that it was high time I let go of my hurt and anger because at least whoever the asshole was, he was man enough to take my wrath in front of my family.”
“That was pretty uncomfortable,” he cringed, remembering the scene at her birthday party where she’d been expecting an engagement ring and instead he told her that he was thinking they should cool things down. Not only did his timing suck, but he should have made his intentions clear long before that moment. He took Geri’s hand and kissed the back side of it. “Thank you for answering my email.”
“I thought about blowing you off, but I’m glad I didn’t. And not just because it involves Serenity. It feels good to let all this go.”
“I’m glad.” He tugged her toward security. “We better get upstairs. Serenity hates it when people are late.”
“You’ve been dating for all of what, a week, and you think you know her?”
“Scary, huh?” But what was utterly terrifying was he wasn’t afraid. Not one single bit. Not even close.
As a matter of fact, the idea of not being wit
h her churned the acid over in his stomach to the point he actually questioned what he might want to do with his career. He actually thought it might be a good idea to call Serenity’s father and get her brother Ledger’s contact information and find out what his new post was all about. It sounded like it could be right up Cove’s alley.
Holy fuck.
What the hell was Cove thinking?
He stepped through the security line and collected his things, stuffing his cell and wallet in his back pocket.
“Are you okay?” Geri asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, letting out a long breath. “I find myself questioning my entire life, only I know she’s not in the same place.”
Geri stepped into the elevator and turned on her heel. “Are you actually saying you want a relationship with Serenity? One that could maybe lead to marriage?” Geri scrunched her nose as if the small space smelled of rotten eggs and onions.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know I’ve never felt like this before.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to do this.” Geri reached out and tapped the button for the eighth floor. “We all have reasons we’re commitment phobic. I have no idea what yours has been, and you might want to figure that out, but mine has always been because of what happened between us. If you really want to have something with her, you’re going to have to help her come to terms with the reason she’s a workaholic and has pushed every man who has ever cared about her away.”
“Did you ever think there doesn’t have to be a reason?”
“Are you trying to tell me there isn’t something in your past that made it impossible for you to love?”
His life had been pretty much picture-perfect. His childhood typical of any kind growing up in upstate New York. He’d been a bit of a hellion, but he never got into any real trouble. Other than nearly being blown up in the military, he’d never faced any real hardships in his life. Nothing to give him any fears or phobias about commitment.
He hadn’t seen Serenity in years, but what he knew of her life, he couldn’t come up with a single incident that affected her so deeply that she built a wall up to keep people out.
Of course, Geri had a point. There had to be a reason why he’d done it. Something he might have to take a moment and dig deep to figure out.
“There isn’t anything I can think of other than the fact having a girlfriend or wife in my line of work only leads to heartache and divorce.”
She poked his shoulder just as the elevator doors dinged open. “And you’ve already caused heartache, and you don’t want to do that again.”
He waggled his finger. “Or be on the flip side of it.”
“Oh, Cove has insight. Impressive.”
“I had to grow up sometime.” He laughed. “But seriously. Thanks for the talk. I appreciate it.”
“My pleasure. Now you just need to have it with Serenity.”
He groaned.
Serenity shut her office door.
Cove glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his glare, but then followed Greene into the maze of cubicles to the other side and into Penn’s office to look over a few things that Penn had found. Serenity was grateful that Rachel had given Cove the access he needed to help, considering his security clearance was technically higher than Serenity’s, a point that slightly annoyed her.
“So, you didn’t tell me that you and Cove were serious.” Geri leaned back with a wicked smile her on her face.
“Excuse me?”
“You have it bad for him,” Geri said, crossing her legs.
Serenity sat in her chair and stared at her friend. “How is it I never knew that you dated Cove for two years?” She adjusted the family picture on the corner that had been taken at her youngest brother’s college graduation.
“You didn’t know me when I went to West Point, and because of the rules, most people didn’t know Cove and I were an item until the end when I had pretty much made it clear to the world I had found my man. Sadly, I made that declaration before he ever told me he loved me, and that’s because he never did.”
“That’s fine, but when you told me the story, you never gave me a name. Why?”
“Because he’s a high-ranking officer who has a lot of respect. As much as I hated him for what I thought he did to me, I never wanted to hurt his reputation. But after talking with him today, I realized I was the one who hurt myself. Once I got rid of the resentment, I see how I pushed and pushed and created my own reality. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you, and him, and what’s going on between the two of you.”
Serenity didn’t have many girlfriends. Actually, her best friend would have to be Leah and right now, she was the last person Serenity wanted to have a conversation about what was happening with Cove. On the one hand, it was purely sexual. Raw, animal, the best sex she’d ever had, kind of passionate fling.
But it didn’t feel like any fling she’d ever had before.
The men she’d dated she couldn’t wait for them to leave after sex.
Cove, she couldn’t wait to wake up in his arms.
With other men in her life, she hated them using her shower or rummaging through her kitchen to make coffee or breakfast. She often tolerated it for the sake of having a man in her life. It wasn’t that she was lonely, but sometimes—oh, fuck it, there were moments in her life that she felt isolated, and a warm body did her good.
Cove was a hell of a lot more than a warm body.
“I don’t know,” Serenity admitted. “And it’s only been happening for a week.”
“I fell in love with Mike in a day, but it’s taken him three years to tear down that wall.” Geri held up her hand and wiggled her ring finger. “I finally said yes.”
“Holy shit.” Serenity leaned over and took her hand. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. Now it’s your turn to let someone in, and I hate to say it, but I think Cove really cares about you.”
“Now you sound like his sister. She thinks we’re perfect for each other.”
“Knowing both of you, I have to agree, but you need to ask and answer yourself one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Why do you think you want to be alone? And be honest. You’ve been forcing me to take a good look at my issues with commitment for years. It all came to a head between me saying yes to Mike and seeing Cove, realizing that it wasn’t Cove that was the problem, but my fear of not having someone love me as much as I love them. Mike loves me more than anything else in his world, including his damn truck and dog, and that says something about that man.”
Serenity swirled her chair left and right. It wasn’t about being alone, but about not holding anyone back. Or being held back. She was raised to never settle, and yet, she wondered if both her parents had done the very same thing.
“You look deep in thought,” Geri said.
“I’m just thinking about what that warrant is going to find and if Bosley is going to get wind of it.”
“You tell yourself whatever lie you need to.” Geri laughed, waving her hand in the air. “But like I told you when I got on the plane to come here, I made sure Bosley will be busy for the next week on a case in Western, New York. I hope he’s not involved in this at all, but if he is, we’ll know.” Geri leaned forward. “Speaking of which, anyone else in this office you want to red flag besides Greene and the rest of Bosley’s team?”
“Just the guys that work under my direction,” Serenity said. “But I trust my team.”
“Right now, you don’t trust anyone but me, Rachel, Penn, and I can’t believe I’m going to say it, Cove. And you shouldn’t be alone. Someone did try to kill you.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” Serenity swallowed her breath. “Cove called in a few favors, and we’ll have his people doing a sweep of my place twice a day.”
“Good. Better to have outsiders in this case.”
“Rachel doesn’t even know,” Serenity said. “Not that I’m worried about telling her,
but Cove needs to be careful with who knows. He doesn’t want to get his people in trouble.”
“Enough said.”
“Speaking of the devil.” Serenity jerked her chin toward the door. “Here he comes.”
Cove practically jogged across the room with a piece of paper in his hand. His biceps flexed, and every female in the office stopped what they were doing and stared shamelessly. He pushed open the door. “We found something,” he said, stepping into her office and handing her a note. “Miliana Farms isn’t a person; it’s a company.”
“Who owns it?” Geri asked.
“That’s not known at this time. You’re going to need to get a deeper warrant for that since the owners are anonymous.”
“Well, that’s a big red flag,” Geri said. “Let me see what I can find out. But I’ve got a plane to catch back to DC.” She stood and glided past Cove, patting him on the shoulder as she went by. “I’ll talk to you two soon. Watch your backs.”
“Will do,” Serenity said. “Thanks for everything.”
“Yeah. And it was good to see you.” Cove leaned his ass against the desk. “Thanks for all your help.”
Geri nodded before turning on her heels and sashaying her way out of the office. For one badass chick, she had a lot of class.
“Stop staring,” Serenity said, slapping Cove’s shoulder.
“Her ass isn’t half as nice as yours, and if there wasn’t a room full of agents, I’d be squeezing yours right now.”
“Flattery might get you laid tonight.”
“Have I told you that you’re the sexiest federal agent I’ve ever met.”
She laughed. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re a horn dog?”
“You bring it out in me.”
Stepping from her office, she locked the door and walked side by side with him toward the elevator, resisting the urge to take him by the hand, though it wouldn’t matter. Everyone in the office pretty much knew that she and Cove were a thing.
Or at least for the time being they were an item.
Now she had to decide if she wanted to tell him how she felt, or if she would just let him go.