by Rose Pearson
Reflecting back on his time in society before he had left for the army, George could not help but long for those times. In those days, he had been able to do as he wished without having anyone particularly interested in him. No-one had wanted to become acquainted with him, no-one had considered him a rather good match for matrimony. In fact, he had been quite dull, all in all, and the truth was that George had much preferred it. He was not particularly good at conversation, nor at remembering the names of all those he was introduced to but now he was required to excel at both.
Sighing heavily, George felt the weight of responsibility roll onto his shoulders once more. Things certainly seemed easier when Lady Jessica was nearby, for one smile from her and his heart soared to the clouds. He felt as though he could take anything on if she was with him. The troubles of his heart reduced and calmed when she walked alongside him and, with her listening to him, he was able to talk freely about all that was going on in his mind. She meant so much to him already…. which was why it was so frustrating for him to be unable to speak to her now!
Looking through the crowd of guests, George waited impatiently for one of the ladies to move out of his line of vision and finally caught sight of Lady Jessica. She was still talking to Major Ridding, who apparently had a great deal to say to her! Frowning, George moved a little closer, his heart beginning to thump wildly in his chest, his hands curling into fists. His nails dug into the palms of his hands as he watched her, seeing the delight in her eyes and the quiet laughter that escaped from her mouth as she gazed into Major Ridding’s eyes.
He stopped dead, unaware of those that surrounded him. By all appearances, Lady Jessica seemed quite taken with Major Ridding. What was it he was talking to her about? His travels, his life of freedom where he could do whatever he wished? After all, George knew full well that Lady Jessica sought a life of excitement and adventure and, as a stone dropped heavily into his stomach, George saw her lips curve into a delighted smile. He could not offer her the same things as Major Ridding, for he had chosen the sensible, restricted path. No longer would he be able to leave England’s shores to see new places and meet new people. No, he would have to remain here, studiously working on his accounts and ensuring his lands were profitable and his tenants cared for.
For a lady such as Lady Jessica, the choice could not be any simpler. George did not have the interesting and entertaining life she sought.
His shoulders slumping, George turned away from the sight of them both and moved back to where he was, his mind clouded. Was what Major Ridding had suggested back in the carriage a true possibility? Had he, in fact, been calling on Lady Jessica as well as she had simply not had the heart to tell him? Biting his lip, George crept into the shadows, his thoughts spilling over one another.
Lady Jessica did not seem to be the kind of lady who would seek attachments from more than one gentleman at a time, surely! She had been open and honest with him, as far as he was concerned, and had listened to his complaints and difficulties with sympathy and compassion. Yet, here she was, showing very little eagerness to seek him out and speak with him due only to the fact that Major Ridding was talking with her.
“I do not want to remain here if I am to be compared with him,” George muttered to himself, a deep despair filling his soul. He would leave Major Ridding to Lady Jessica and take his carriage home. Major Ridding could find his own way back to his lodgings, for he clearly did not need George’s help in the matter. George was quite sure one of the sisters, if not one of the guests, would be more than happy to have the man in their company.
Turning on his heel, George strode away towards the front door, catching his host on the way and explaining that he had been called away by some urgent business that had only just come to his attention. It was a complete lie, of course, but George felt no shame in the way it rolled easily off his tongue. The man understood at once, shaking George’s hand before letting him go.
As George left the room, he did not see Lady Jessica’s startled look as she caught sight of him talking to their host. He did not see how she excused herself from Major Ridding, nor how the Major himself tried to prevent her from leaving. His ears did not hear her calling his name, nor catch the sound of her footsteps as she hurried after him. Had he but turned around, to give one final glance into the room, he would have seen the stricken expression on her face, the frustration in her eyes at being unable to extricate herself from Major Ridding’s conversation in order to seek him out. Instead, surrounded by sadness, George climbed into his carriage and set off for home, urging his coachman to drive all the faster.
He did not belong here. He did not belong at tea parties and soirees, where eager mamas would press their offspring on to him. His life was so very different and, even now, George still felt as though he were the outsider, trying desperately to fit in. Lady Jessica was a conundrum, for he wanted desperately to believe that she cared for him but could not, no matter how hard he tried, rid Major Ridding’s words from his mind. And, after all, he could not escape the fact that he and Major Ridding had been great friends for a very long time. There was no expectation that Major Ridding would deliberately set out to hurt George, so, therefore, perhaps what he said was true.
Settling back against the squabs, George closed his eyes and let out a long breath, trying to rid himself of the frustration he felt. Mayhap this was all one big misunderstanding and the next time he saw Lady Jessica, she would be as delighted to see him again as he had been this afternoon. All he could do was hope.
Chapter Twelve
Jessica bit her lip, still frustrated with what had happened the previous afternoon. The moment Lord Warwick had stepped into the room, she had tried to go towards him in order to engage him in conversation, but her sister had caught him first. Not that Harmonia had meant anything by such a gesture for she was simply being both kind and polite – but the delay had allowed Major Ridding to join her and her sister Jacintha. From the very moment he had arrived, to the moment he left their side, he had not stopped talking about himself.
He was a nice gentleman, of course, and Jessica had found herself caught up in one of his long stories about his many trips abroad but when she had come to look for Lord Warwick, she had been quite unable to see him. Her heart had shaken in her chest as she’d looked for him desperately, suddenly afraid that he would think her somehow flattered by Major Ridding’s attentions. It had been too late, of course, for he had quit the room. She had seen him talking to their host and had watched for a moment before realizing, much to her horror, that he fully intended to leave the tea party altogether. Excusing herself quickly, and even more frustrated that Major Ridding made to stop her by catching her arm and asking what was wrong, she had hurried after him but it was much too late. He had not heard her call his name and certainly had not looked behind him, to give the room one last glance. When she had spoken to their host about Lord Warwick’s hasty departure, he had explained that Lord Warwick had been called back to his estate on some urgent business, although he himself had not noticed any messages being taken into the room by a footman.
Sighing heavily, Jessica swiped at the ivy hanging down an old wall as she continued her walk in the gardens, frustrated at what had occurred. As she had returned to her sister Jacintha, she had made sure not to engage Major Ridding in conversation for the rest of the evening, although he had attempted to speak to her on more than a few occasions. For whatever reason, Jessica felt quite certain that Major Ridding had attempted to keep her away from Lord Warwick, for what other explanation could there be for him grasping her arm in such a way? It had been most improper of course, for a gentleman did not touch a lady without her consent, and she had been forced to shake his hand off and turn away, thinking to herself that it was simply not his business what she did and who she spoke to. After all, he had no claim on her! His chortle had followed her as she continued to cross the room, looking desperately for Lord Warwick, but much too late.
In truth, Jessica was as irritated w
ith herself as she was with Major Ridding for, had she now allowed herself to become so enthralled by the story he was telling of his latest escapades in Pomerania, then she would not have missed Lord Warwick at all! Her heart had quickened its pace the moment he had come into the room and the warm smile on his face had sent a blush to her cheeks. How then, had she permitted herself to miss him entirely! She had not even spoken a word to him!
Pulling out the letter from her pocket, Jessica looked down at her father’s seal with trepidation. They had all received a letter each earlier that day but, as yet, Jessica had not read hers. She was worried that her father would press her into matrimony, questioning as to whether or not she had found anyone suitable and Jessica was already weary of such questions. Her feelings for Lord Warwick aside, she wished her father could understand her desire to simply be happy and content in her life.
Breaking the seal, Jessica sat down on a small bench in the corner of the gardens, her nose filled with the wonderful scents of the flowers that surrounded her. With a sense of dismal acceptance of what she would find within, Jessica began to read…. only to discover that her father had not written anything like what she had expected.
“I wish you only to be happy,” she read aloud, one hand pressed against her heart. “I know that the burden now falls to you to be happily wed but I must assure you that my determination to push you into the matrimonial state as quickly as possible has dimmed somewhat. I find that I miss each of you, even though I am glad to know you are enjoying your time with your sister Amelia. I suppose I have considered that, should the worst happen, Lord Northfell will care for each of you who remains unwed and so, my concerns have been assailed somewhat. Do not think I will berate you for not seeking out a husband for yourself, Jessica. In time, I hope you will find a man who cares for you enough to make you his bride, but I would have you be happy more than anything else in the world.”
She stared down at the letter, her vision blurring with sudden tears. This was not what she had expected. Her father had been so urgent in his need for them all to wed but now, it seemed, that had lessened significantly. It was as though he had realized that her angst over the whole situation was making her life somewhat miserable and had, therefore, wanted to take that away. It was as though a huge burden had rolled off her shoulders, allowing her a sense of freedom she had not experienced for some time. Drawing in a deep breath, Jessica smiled softly to herself, feeling more alive than she had done in some time.
“Ah, Lady Jessica!”
Starting in surprise, Jessica turned to see who it was speaking to her, only to discover that it was none other than Major Ridding, who was tramping across the garden towards her.
Rising from her seat, Jessica tried to smile, hoping that one of her sisters or at the very least, a gardener was around somewhere.
“Major Ridding,” she said, inclining her head. “I did not expect to see you today.”
He bowed. “Capital, is it not, that I should find you here?” He beamed at her, as though she should be just as delighted as he was that he had had somehow managed to find her within the Northfell estate gardens. “I was just making my way to the front of the house when I heard one of the gardeners mention you were near the roses. I think they did not wish to disturb you but I was quite certain you would not mind if I joined you!”
Jessica managed a tight smile, her stomach curling with nerves. It was not wise for her to be out here alone, not when there was no-one else nearby. Major Ridding’s presence unsettled her somewhat, especially given that she considered him nothing more than a friend, even though he appeared to be hoping for more since he was almost constantly by her side or seeking her out for conversation.
“Perhaps we should go back into the house,” she suggested, hopefully. “My sisters and brother in law would be happy to see you, I am sure.”
He held out his hand and caught her arm as she made to go past him. Jessica jerked her arm away, stepping backward. “Major Ridding,” she began, firmly, determined not to allow him to get away with such an improper advance yet again. “That is not –”
“I was hoping to invite you to a little ball I am throwing come next week,” he interrupted, gallantly, as though he was entirely unaware of what he had done. “It is sure to be a most wonderful occasion and I would be delighted if you would join me.”
Sighing inwardly, Jessica took a step back, putting a good distance between them. “I assume you mean to invite the rest of my sisters also.”
He paused, a surprised look on his face, only to laugh and incline his head. “Yes, of course, but I wanted to give you this invitation personally.”
It was on the tip of Jessica’s tongue to ask why, so that she might ensure he was more than aware that she sought no kind of attachment from him, but instead she held her tongue and waited for him to continue to speak, thinking he might reveal more about his intentions.
Major Ridding watched her for a moment, his eyes darkening just a touch. “I would not consider the ball a success if you were not there, Lady Jessica,” he continued, moving forward slowly. “Do say you will come.”
Jessica lifted her chin and fixed him with her gaze. She was now quite sure that the Major sought more from her than just a friendly acquaintance and was determined to take this opportunity to clarify the matter for him. “And is Lord Warwick to be invited?”
The frown on his face was immediate. “I can invite him, of course.”
“I do hope you will,” she said at once, smiling brightly. “I can think of no-one with whom I would like to spend some more time with. I was greatly vexed that I did not get to speak to him at the tea party yesterday afternoon.”
“My conversation was rather intriguing, was it not?” Major Ridding replied, with a slightly affected air. “Not half as interesting as Lord Warwick’s, I assure you.”
“And yet it is he that I very much wish to converse with,” Jessica replied, firmly, hoping he understood her meaning. “I shall accept your invitation, so long as I am assured that Lord Warwick will be there.” She sighed heavily and glanced away, putting what she hoped was a dreamy smile on her lips. “I am already looking forward to furthering my acquaintance with him.”
Major Ridding cleared his throat and snapped his heels together. “I shall do whatever I can to ensure your presence is there,” he replied, in a somewhat dark tone. “And mayhap, in time, you might come to see that there are other gentlemen who should not escape your notice, Lady Jessica. After all, you are the daughter of a Duke and may have your pick of gentlemen, wherever you go. I am blessed in my acquaintance with you.”
Jessica smiled and nodded, stepping around him and making back to the house before he could stop her. “You are very kind, Major Ridding,” she murmured, as their steps quickened. “I know my sisters and I will all gladly accept your invitation to the ball. Where is it you intend to have it? I know you only have lodgings here.”
“At the village hall,” he replied, offering her his arm which, after a moment of hesitation, she took. “I know it will not be anywhere near as grand as a ballroom but a gentleman in the army must do what he can!”
“I am sure it will be quite wonderful,” Jessica answered, hoping that he did not think she thought any less of him simply because he did not have an estate nearby to throw his ball.
“And shall you save a dance for me, Lady Jessica?” he asked, softly, as they approached the front door. “I would be very glad if you would consider doing so.”
Jessica nodded, finding no reason to refuse. “Of course, Major Ridding. Although, I am quite sure I will have more than enough dances free for you to secure two if you wish.” The very moment she said it, Jessica wished those words back into her mouth, suddenly pierced with the thought that she had given Major Ridding a reason to hope instead of what she had intended – which was simple, light-hearted conversation.
“Two it shall be, then,” Major Ridding murmured, as the door was held open for them. “I find that I am already looking forwa
rd to it, Lady Jessica.”
Chapter Thirteen
George shifted a pile of papers to one side, before pulling his next lot of accounts in front of him. He let out a long sigh, rubbing his temples for a moment before trying to concentrate on all the numbers in front of him.
It was definitely a struggle.
So far, he had looked through all of his brother’s accounts from the previous five years, in order to try and understand his brother’s choices as well as what he had put out into the fields and into the tenant’s homes. Every penny had to be accounted for and George was determined to go through every calculation himself, just to ensure that everything was just as it ought to be. It wouldn’t be the first time that a steward had begun to take some money here and there, to boost his own income but, thus far, everything seemed to be quite in order.
It was unfortunate to have to question the loyalty and credibility of his brother’s staff, but the truth was, George knew very little about each of them. They had been his brother’s staff, his brother’s household, and George still often felt like a stranger treading in places he did not belong. It had taken him a good week just to walk into his brother’s study and even now, it still didn’t feel quite right.
“I can do this,” George muttered to himself, turning over the first page. “I have to do this.”
A vision of Lady Jessica floated into his mind, pushing away the numbers and calculations. Perhaps he might feel a little more settled if she was here or if, at the very least, things were a little more settled between them. He had not seen her since the tea party some three days ago, nor had he seen Major Ridding. That had been deliberate, at least on George’s part. He had thrown himself, headlong, into all that was required of him at the estate, hoping to take his mind off her for a while. He did not like the confusion and upset that came with every moment he thought of her – and yet, here she was, back in his thoughts yet again.