by Allison Sipe
He groaned and said, “I can’t just go around stopping death. There are consequences for saving a life.”
“What kind of consequences?”
“By saving you, someone else has to pay the price. The world has a way of balancing it’s self out, a life for a life.”
“So, someone had to die so I could live?” My eyes widened in horror.
Silently, he nodded.
I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at him, trying to make sense of everything. No matter how I turned it over in my head it didn’t make any logical sense that I was important enough to murder.
“Robert, I think you’ve got the wrong person,” I tried to explain. The muscles in my body coiled like a snake ready to spring. “How can this have anything to do with me?”
“I’ll explain everything in time. For now, all that matters is we found you and now we can keep you safe,” Robert said, his voice calm once more.
“But how can you be sure I’m the person you’ve been looking for?”
“It’s you, without a doubt.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t easy for you.”
We sat in silence for a long moment. I wasn’t entirely sure I’d gotten any answers out of him. Nothing he said made sense and I had even more questions than before. How was I supposed to cope with the fact that someone was actively trying to kill me?
“He’s really still out there isn’t he?” I whispered.
Robert placed his hand on top of mine and squeezed. “We won’t let anything happen to you,” he vowed. His voice oozed with sincerity.
I didn’t want to live in fear, always looking over my shoulder. I tried to think about every detail of that night, if maybe I had seen something that would help us identify my attacker. But just like every other time I thought about that night, I came up empty handed. I glanced at Robert and could tell he was trying to let me sort things out for myself, but he grew more anxious with each passing second of silence.
“I can’t live like this, we have to stop him before it’s too late,” I declared.
“Don’t worry, he’ll come to you,” Robert said.
“So what, I’m bait? I’m just supposed to lie in wait until death knocks on my door?”
“Violet, relax. We’ll do everything we can to find him. But I have no doubt he will come after you again.” He gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. “The only difference, is that this time we’ll be ready.”
Tears filled my eyes but I stared straight at the horizon, determined to not let them spill over.
“Violet,” he said and put his hand on my cheek, “don’t be afraid. We have a ton of people on this. We’ll find out who he is and soon.” He wiped a tear from my face.
“What do you mean you have a ton of people on this?” I asked, hating myself for letting Robert see me cry.
“There are a lot of people who don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I opened my mouth to say something but he raised his finger to my mouth to stop me.
“I know you don’t believe you’re The Waker but there are a lot of people who do, and they’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe,” Robert explained. “So if nothing else, you can take comfort in the knowledge that you have a lot of people who are looking out for you.”
“How many people?” I asked.
“That's not important,” he said under his breath, turning away from me.
“Does everyone know who I’m supposed to be except me?” I started to pant, feeling like I was going to have a panic attack at any second.
Robert laughed. “Of course not. There’s only a small group of people who know we found you and that you’re not just some distant hope anymore. The Prophecy can be fulfilled now.”
“Prophecy?”
“Right, you don’t know about that either. Let’s take it one step at a time.” He looked at me and offered a hopeful smile.
“No, I want to know.” I was tired of him doling out information at his discretion. I wanted to know everything and I wanted to know it now.
The hope in his eyes faded as he realized dealing with me wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought.
“Look, Violet. I’m sure this is a lot to handle and I don’t want to put anything more on your plate until you’re ready,” he explained.
“And what, you think you get to decide when I’m ready to deal with more of this bullshit?” I yelled at him.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I just, look, calm down, I know how hard this must be and I don’t want to put any more stress on you. Let’s just take baby steps, okay?”
“Fine,” I said, crossing my arms and looking out over the water.
I let the conversation drop for the moment. I needed to convince him to tell me everything about this prophecy and Waker nonsense and it was clear he didn’t want to divulge anything. But sooner or later, he’d have to explain.
I looked over at him as he took his hand off mine. How infuriating he was, sitting next to me all smug and playing the protector role. I was a grown woman. I didn’t need him to protect me from the world. I’d made it through plenty without him by my side and I would make it through this. Screw the prophecy. Screw being The Waker to a bunch of people I didn’t know or care about. And screw Robert.
Working myself up into a blind frenzy all I wanted was to get away from him, to get away from all of this. Without a word, I rose from the bench and headed back up the pier.
“Violet, wait,” Robert called after me. I kept walking. “Violet!” His voice came closer but I still didn’t turn around. “Would you hold on a second?” He grabbed my arm.
I pulled out of his grasp and turned to face him.
“Just leave me alone,” I nearly shouted. My voice was shaky and didn’t sound as threatening as I would’ve liked.
“Would you just talk to me?” he asked.
“Why did you even bother coming back here?”
“I came back because I have to keep you safe. I didn’t want to leave you that night without any explanation but I didn’t have any other choice.” He lowered his head and his voice, the tired pain behind his eyes making me think he was sincere. I wanted to believe him but this was all too much.
“Violet,” he said, taking a step toward me with his hand outstretched. “Please just take this slow. I know it’s a lot for you to take in but I promise I’ll explain everything with time.”
“But why tell me anything at all if you’re just going to keep me in the dark?” I asked.
“Because it’s important that you believe what I tell you. I’m trying to earn your trust first.” He took a step toward me and touched my arm with the tips of his fingers. Another step and his body was within an inch of mine. I felt the heat of his skin through both our shirts and my heart started pounding once more.
“You didn’t tell anyone about the night I saved you,” he whispered. His breath felt warm and sweet against my face. “I want you to trust me the same way I trust you.” He traced the crook of my arm with his fingers and it happened again.
I felt the darkness surrounding me, pulling me under. I heard him calling my name and the warmth of his words on my skin. His touch, his fierce eyes. I could feel the warmth spreading through my body, from my head to my toes, pulling me to safety.
“Violet?” I heard Robert’s velvet voice. “Violet! Are you okay?”
My head spun and Robert was staring at me, concern written in each line of his face.
“Err… I’m fine,” I said. “I think.”
“What happened? Your eyes just went blank and it was like you weren’t here anymore.”
“I don’t think I was here.” A nervous laugh escaped my throat.
“What do you mean?” His eyes widened from concern to curiosity.
“It’s nothing. I just got dazed for a second.”
“Violet, that wasn’t nothing. Tell me what’s wrong? Did you remember something?”
“No, I mean yes, but not what you mean,” I said, trying and failin
g to explain the sensation.
“What was it?” Robert asked.
“It was just a flash, I mean, a memory of the night you saved me.” I looked up at him, searching for recognition of what I’d felt that night. Instantly I saw a change in the set of his mouth. “Your touch made me remember what it felt like.” I tucked my hair behind my ear, a little embarrassed, “When you healed me that night.”
He stared back at me with a blank expression, only a hint of confusion hidden in his dark, guarded eyes.
He released me and put some distance between our bodies. “I should walk you back,” he said.
Seagulls hovered on the gentle winds of a beautiful summer afternoon as I led the way back to my studio. The breeze was only slightly cooler than the temperature of the air and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
“Robert, why didn’t you come back that night?” I asked.
“I told you, I didn’t have any other choice,” he replied.
“You always have a choice.”
“Look…” He sighed.
“Please, Robert. Just tell me, you owe me at least that much.”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at the ground and kept walking. He lifted his head after a moment and stared at me. I could tell he didn’t want to tell me why he left that night but his eyes betrayed him, threatening to spill over with the answers I sought. I didn’t turn away from him, hoping whatever conflict raged inside his mind would bend in my favor. He abruptly looked at the sky, his decision made.
“I did come back, but you were still in the bathroom, freshening up,” he explained.
Damn! I thought.
“Why didn’t…” I began.
He raised his hand to cut me off. “I was going to wait for you to finish changing but Brett and I got into it. She can be insufferable sometimes. We decided I should handle the situation before it got out of control and she would make sure you got home safe. We were all at risk and I did what was necessary to keep you and my family safe. The faster I found out what was going on the better. So I packed a bag and headed to the airport.”
“I guess I can respect that. I just wish you would have at least told me you were leaving. I was so angry with you.”
“You wouldn’t have let me leave without an explanation.”
“You’re right about that.” I smiled.
I thought about everything Robert had told me as we continued toward my studio. If I felt confused before I was utterly lost now. My mind buzzed like a beehive, stirring up more and more questions.
Robert followed me in as I unlocked the door to my studio. The summer sun had sent my body into hyper-drive, or at least I thought it was the heat and humidity. Every fiber of my being could sense him; I felt his eyes tracing the curve of my spine, the warmth of his breath in the air as he walked behind me.
“You really didn’t have to walk me back,” I noted. I tried to sound casual but my emotions were all over the place.
“I’ve already saved your life once.” A flirtatious chuckle escaped his throat. The walk seemed to have lightened his spirit’s some. His shoulders relaxed and he carried himself in a more straightened, confident gait.
“Speaking of saving my life, did you want to explain that?” I asked. I stopped in front of my desk and turned to look at him.
“Not right now,” he said and lifted his hand to my cheek.
“But you said you wanted me to trust you. What better way to earn my trust than to tell me the truth about how… how you saved me.” I stumbled over my words. The touch of his hand tingled against my skin as his fingers gently pinched my chin.
“I do want you to trust me, but baby steps remember.” He smiled.
“Uh huh,” was all I could manage with his fingers so close to my lips.
“I should get going.” He sighed and stepped away.
“Alright,” I said in a soft voice.
I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to talk to me, wanted him to let me in. But something hidden in his expression stopped me from saying or doing anything else. He might not want to talk now, but I’d get it out of him sooner or later.
“I’ll come by your place later,” he promised.
“Later?” My stomach leapt at his words.
“Yeah, I need to run by the house and talk with my family, but I’ll come by later to check up on you.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I said, a little annoyed. I didn’t want to be treated like a damsel in distress.
“Yes, I do.” He nodded, smiled and left.
Despite everything that had happened this afternoon I still had a million questions. I leaned against my desk and threw my purse on the floor. So much for getting some work done today. I picked up the sandwich I had brought with me to work and tossed it in the trash. Normally I wasn’t one to waste food, but the smell of sweaty meat and congealed cheese left me with the distinct reminder that someone wanted me dead.
.
Chapter 7
Unable to think about anything other than my conversation with Robert, I decided to head home. The sun just started its fall over the horizon when I got home and I desperately wished that I too could fall off the edge of the Earth and rise again to a new day. I still wasn’t very hungry but I knew I should eat something. I threw a boxed dinner into the microwave and leaned against the counter while my processed food revolved round and round. I thought I wanted to know everything, I thought I wanted to know how Robert saved me, but the more I found out the more I wished I didn’t know anything. Why couldn’t I just let things be? Why couldn’t I just be grateful I was alive and stop asking questions?
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I took a deep breath, smelling the sweet aroma of boxed Kung Pao chicken. Chef Mike, also known as the microwave, announced my food had been transformed into something edible.
Using the tips of my fingers, I delicately removed the piping hot tray from Chef Mike and plopped it on a plate. I grabbed a Stella from the refrigerator and headed to the living room to watch some TV while I ate.
The seven o’clock news sprang to life. An over-dressed woman behind a fake desk declared, “A building collapsed today in Seattle…”I changed the channel before the anchor could finish her sentence. The last thing I needed to watch was the sensationalized news.
I flipped through the channels until I found a harmless episode of Friends and went to work on my food. The spicy sauce and tender chicken gave a comforting warmth to my stomach. It felt good to return to the routine of eating a TV dinner, back to the ordinary and familiar, two things I’d been craving in my life lately. The tension in my back slowly eased with each bite as I sank into the couch. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep the thousands of thoughts from bouncing around in my head like Roger Rabbit on a sugar rush. I took a long swig of beer in the hopes it might relax me a bit more.
As I finished eating I scooped up the last peanut covered in gooey Kung Pao sauce and popped it into my mouth. I had already seen this episode, the one where Phoebe tries to teach Joey how to play guitar, but it felt nice to relax, so I sat back, beer in hand, and tried to focus on the TV. I wasn’t sure if it was the solid food or the beer but the anxious feeling that had been eating a hole in my chest lessened a bit.
I took another sip of beer and wondered what Robert was up to. It pained me to think about him, but seeing him again had stirred something inside me, something ancient and primal. It wasn’t just sexual attraction, although that was certainly a factor. I’d never felt anything like this before. It left me wondering what it was about him that affected me so much. I could understand if it was just a romantic or lustful pull toward him. No one could deny he was a good looking man. But this was more than that. Something inside me called to him.
The episode of Friends ended so I got up to change my clothes. I threw on an old t-shirt and cotton shorts. As I walked into the bathroom I took a long look at myself in the mirror. It was still me. The reflection didn’t look any different, but I felt
like I was changing. My whole world had been turned upside down and everything looked slightly askew. I shook my head, frustrated that I didn’t feel in control of my life anymore and pulled my hair into a ponytail.
Twirling my hair behind my head, I walked back to the kitchen to grab another beer. A knock echoed on the other side of the door and I paused halfway to the refrigerator.
Quietly making my way to the front door I grabbed the bat hidden in the closet. I’m going to have to keep this thing by my side from now on, I thought. I leaned up to the peephole when the person knocked again. It made me jump and step right into the stand next to the door.
“Violet, it’s just me, open up,” Robert’s warm voice came through the door.
I breathed a sigh of relief but still checked the peep hole.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I opened the door.
“I told you I was going to come back and check on you tonight.” He stepped inside, looking around.
“Right, but how did you get in here without buzzing me?” I closed the door, a little annoyed that he just assumed he could come in but I decided it wasn’t worth picking a fight over.
“I have my ways.” He gave me a mischievous smile.
“A little warning would have been nice,” I said and lifted the bat in my hand.
He looked me up and down and shrugged a little sheepishly. “You weren’t already in bed, were you?”
I looked down at my attire. “No, just being comfortable in my own home.” I pulled the corner of my shirt down to better cover myself.
“How was the rest of your afternoon?” he asked as he walked toward the living room.
I frowned, a little disoriented, and followed him. “It was fine, yours?”
“Productive. I caught up with my family and we think it would be best if you weren’t alone.” He perused the living room, picking up the magazines on the table and inspecting my book collection.
“Ok.” I watched him, my brow furrowed. “So does that mean we’re going to hire a bodyguard or something?”