by Alison Mello
We both laugh. “Were they that bad?” Jesse asks, concerned.
“It’s not that they were bad, they bought half the grocery store. I spent more on food this week than I typically do in two weeks.” Now we’re really laughing because it’s clear she doesn’t want to bring them because she can’t say no to them.
“What happened to the tough cookie who raised me?” Jesse says with his hands on his hips.
“Honey, we’re always tougher on our kids than our grandkids.” She pats him on the cheek with love in her eyes. “You’ll see someday.”
He rolls his eyes. “Better not be for years to come.”
“Daddy, Grammy is making us chicken tenders for dinner at the field.” Grace jumps up and down, excited.
“Is that so?” He picks her up.
Gabe and Jason are helping unpack some stuff with Josephine. “Hey, bud. Did you have fun playing mini golf.”
“Yeah, but Grace cheats.” He wraps me in a brief hug.
“I do not,” she demands.
Gabe shouts, “Yes you do. You think because you’re younger you can do whatever you want. There are rules to games, and you can’t change them as you go.”
“Okay, okay. This was supposed to be fun.” Jesse stops their arguing.
“It was until Grace decided the one stroke per hole advantage we gave her became three strokes because she was losing.” Gabe looks at his sister in frustration.
“You know, Grace, you shouldn’t be a sore loser.”
“I’m not,” she demands.
Both boys shake their heads, and I can’t help but laugh. They’re completely done with her. “Why don’t you boys go play upstairs, and we’ll help put the groceries away,” I suggest.
“Thanks, Mom,” Jason says. “Come on, Gabe.” They both run out of the room leaving Grace whining to her father that she’s not a sore loser. It’s actually kind of funny because everything she’s telling her father shows that she’s a sore loser.
“I think you need to go play in your room for a bit,” he tells her even though she’s still in lawyer mode defending herself.
“Grace, I believe your father said to go play,” Josephine says.
“I’m still trying to explain,” she demands with sass, but Jesse is not amused.
“Grace Anne, you better mind your manners, young lady.” She looks at her father, shocked.
“But…” Her words trail when her father starts to count.
“One….” She hasn’t moved. “Two…”
“Okay, I’m going.” She walks away grumbling about how no one listens to her.
“Well, on that note, I think it’s time I get going,” I say with laughter so Jesse knows I’m kidding.
“Oh so you think you got jokes today.” He grabs me and pulls me into his arms.
“A few.” I laugh.
“Not funny.” He tries to sound mad, but he fails.
“I have to admit, Jesse, even I thought it was funny.” Josephine chuckles.
“Don’t encourage her. Whose side are you on anyway?”
Josephine laughs. “I’m not on anyone’s side. I do think her joke was funny though.” She winks at him and heads to the pantry.
“Come on, tough guy. Let’s get this stuff into the freezer.” I grab some bags of food and help put the stuff away.
It’s amazing to me that we work and move together like we’ve been doing this for years. I guess in essence we have, in our hearts. We never truly let go of the thought that we had something together and now that the time is right, we’re doing our thing. But where will this go? I know I love him. I knew from the minute our eyes reconnected.
When the groceries are all put away, Josephine asks us if we’re going to stay for dinner, but I really think I’m going to head home with Jason. “Not tonight, but thank you.”
Jesse looks both concerned and disappointed. “You’re not joking this time.”
“I’m not. I want to have some time with Jason. I need to be sure he’s okay with everything that’s happening. I feel like all our time is spent either here or at the field, and when we leave the field our conversation always revolves around football.”
“Please tell me I didn’t scare you away today.”
“You didn’t. I really just need some time with him.”
He presses his lips to mine. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I press up on my toes to give him one last kiss and then I go to the stairs. “Jason, come on, bud.” He runs down the stairs.
“Do we have to leave?”
“Yes, you have to get ready for school.”
He sighs. “Okay, I wish I could just go to school with Gabe.”
“It’s not that easy. Go get your stuff.” He hurries upstairs to get his bag, and by the time he gets back downstairs I have my bag and I’m ready to go.
“See you at practice, buddy.” Jesse holds his fists out, and they bump.
“Thanks for a fun weekend.”
“You’re welcome.” Jesse ruffles his hair.
“I’ll call you later.”
We both slip out the door and into the car. As soon as we’re on the road, I lower the radio. “Jason, can we talk.”
“Sure, what’s up, Mom?”
“Are you okay with everything that’s happening between Jesse and me?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, he’s cool and you seem happier now.”
I glance in the rearview. “Happier?” I question.
“Yeah, when you were with Dad you seemed okay, and when he left you seemed sad, but now you’re always smiling. You seem happier.”
I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “I’m really happy with him and if I had listened to him, I probably would have started dating him a long time ago, but I believe everything happens for a reason.” I stop at the red light. “If I hadn’t stayed dating your father, I wouldn’t have you, and that’s one thing I have zero regrets about.” I turn to face my son. “I love you, Jason, and no matter what happens, I want you to know that.”
“I love you too, Mom.” The person behind me honks letting me know the light has changed. I turn around and continue on our way. “Are we going to live with Jesse?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, bud. We haven’t gotten that far yet. Why?”
“It’ll be cool to have Gabe as a brother even though Grace can be a total pain.”
I laugh. “They’re a package deal.”
“That’s too bad. She’s totally ridiculous.” This kid cracks me up.
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“She just is.”
“Well, I don’t think we’d be moving in right away, but at some point I can see us all living together. Would it bother you if we moved there instead of them moving here?”
“Nah, they have a better yard than us.” I can’t help but chuckle. “Can I go back to listening to my music now?”
“Sure, bud.” He puts his buds in and listens to his music while I get lost in my own thoughts. I’m not sure if I should be scared or excited that he is okay with the situation that’s developing. Jason is so much like me in that he’s chill about everything, where his father gets uptight over the simplest things. When I pull up to the house, there’s a car parked out front. I know it’s Brian, but I have no idea what he’s doing here. “Jason, I want you to go straight to your room.”
I climb out of the car, open his door for him, and hand him my key. His father is getting out of the car, but by the time he gets to me, Jason is already on his way into the house. “Why do you make him fear me?”
“I don’t. You did that all by yourself. You’ve made a scene twice now, embarrassing him. I’m not sure what’s going on with you, but you need to figure out where your priorities are and start handling them better.” He lifts his hand like he’s going to hit me, but he suddenly stops. “I want to see Jason this weekend. I’ll pick him up from the field Friday after practice.” His tone is calm and steady.
“What if he doesn’t want t
o go?”
He shrugs. “Tough shit. He’s my son, and I’m going to spend time with him.” He walks back to his car shaking his head.
“Yeah well, don’t forget he has a game on Sunday. He needs to be at the field by ten am,” I call out, grabbing my bag. When he doesn’t respond, I roll my eyes on a huff and hurry inside to talk to Jason and let Jesse know that he won’t be over this weekend. I just hope I’m not making a mistake in letting him go there this weekend.
It’s been a busy week and now I not only have to be prepared for practice, but I have to pump Jason up about going to his father’s this weekend. I’m nervous as hell, but I’m trying hard not to show Jason. I got lucky today and my boss let me leave a little early so I could come home and square some things away. I have Jason’s football gear and weekend bag by the door and ready to go.
“Do I really have to go?” Jason whines.
“Jason, your father is coming to get you, and I can’t stop him. I know he’s pulled some stuff lately, but it’s because he’s upset and wants to spend time with you. When you get a little older, we’ll work it out that you two decide together when you’ll visit. But right now, you’re only eleven and I’m sorry to say unless he treats you poorly, there isn’t a judge out there who’s going to say he doesn’t get visitation.” Jason scoops up his bag and heads for the door. “Jason,” I call out. He turns to me with a look of frustration on his face. “Give him a chance. If you are truly not happy or he does something to upset you, call me and Jesse, and I will come get you.” He closes his eyes, pulling himself together, and nods.
“I just hope he doesn’t do anything stupid. I was actually excited to see him until he started running his mouth at the party.”
“I know, and I really hope he turns this around for you two.” I follow him out the door.
When we arrive at the field, Jesse is already there with his gang. We hurry down the hill and get settled for dinner. Jason looks incredibly nervous, and it’s killing me. I hate that I have to force him to go see his father, but at the same time, I’m hoping Brian will do something fun with him. I want him to have a good relationship with his father, and that’s hard to say at this point. He hasn’t been very good to him the last few years.
“What’s up with him?” Jesse asks when I get to the blanket.
“He doesn’t want to go with his father.”
Jesse closes his eyes. “I hate that he feels that way. It would kill me if my kids didn’t want to see me.”
“Well, you didn’t abandon your kids or cheat on their mom.”
“I wish there was something I could say or do.”
“Me too.” We all sit down to eat. There’s an uncomfortable silence lingering tonight. I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t.
“Can I be excused? I’m not hungry,” Jason says.
“I guess so.” He jumps up from the blanket and walks out to the field to start stretching. Gabe looks at Jesse, and there’s a silent exchange. Jesse nods, and Gabe jumps up to join Jason on the field. They both sit on the ground and stretch. I can see they’re talking, but they’re too far away for us to know what’s being said. Josephine tells us she’s going to take Grace to the gym for practice, leaving Jesse and I alone on the blanket waiting for practice to start.
“Any idea what they’re talking about?”
He shrugs. “Not really. I know Gabe came to me the other day and told me that Jason had sent him a text saying he couldn’t come over this weekend because he had to go with his father.” We both lean back on our hands and watch our boys. “He told me they talked a little about Jason’s situation with his father. Gabe wouldn’t give me too much info, but I made him promise to tell me if something was happening that we needed to be concerned with.” My head whips around. “He promised that Jason hadn’t said anything bad happened. He also promised to let us know if it did. He doesn’t want to break Jason’s trust.” I shrug. “I can’t say I blame him. They’ve grown close already, and I have to trust Gabe the way Jason is trusting him.” He kneels, kisses me, and tells me he loves me before he walks off to start passing ball with the boys.
I can’t help but think about what he said. I know he’s right, I need to trust Gabe, but that’s hard to do when it’s your baby. The other kids are starting to show up. They’re all dropping their stuff and passing the ball with the others like any other practice. It’s been a long week, but they’re looking good and we’re all excited to see what happens at the first game of the season this weekend.
Trystan comes down the hill with DJ by his side. The two of them have huge smiles on their faces. That’s when I realize Stella’s not with them. Trystan picks up on me watching them so he calls over, “Stella’s sick.”
I frown and pull my phone from my purse to send her a text telling her to feel better soon. Practice is about to start when Misty comes running down the hill with Mason. The ladies have all set up their chairs a short distance behind me. Someone had the nerve to complain because a few of the moms were sitting with me and parents were asked to sit back a little. Misty, not giving a rat’s ass what anyone thinks, takes a seat on my blanket. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“Just okay? You sound worse than just okay.” She plops a piece of apple into her mouth. “What’s up?” she asks as she chews.
This is why I love Misty. She doesn’t let anyone change her. She is who she is and if you don’t like it, you’re happy to see your happy ass away. I laugh and go into my fears over Brian taking Jason this weekend. “Girl, I totally get it, but he’s an idiot if he tries to do anything. He would ruin his career and never see his kid again. Surely he has to realize that.”
I shake my head. “I hope so. I just wish he was as good with Jason as Jesse is. It’s amazing to me. Jesse’s not his father and yet he spends time with him. He passes ball with him before practice and helps him to get better. Brian is never here and when he is, he causes a scene and embarrasses him.”
We sit and chat a bit then Misty suggests we walk around the practice area. There’s space for us to walk without interfering with what they’re doing. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
She starts her walking app. “Let’s see what the distance is.” She puts it in her pocket and tracks the distance around the circle. It ends up being about a quarter of a mile. We continue walking and as we do Arien, Lori, Stacey and Emma join us. When we get back from our first lap Tricia comes over. “Hey, Karen.”
“What’s up?”
She nods toward the field. “What’s up with that kid? He doesn’t seem to want to play?”
I chuckle. “He doesn’t, but his mom is forcing him to because of some issues he has. She has had a few conversations with Coach, and he is doing what he can to encourage the kid, but he told her if he isn’t into it come game day, he will not force him to play.”
“That woman is a fool. The kid is going to get hurt or worse—he’s going to get one of our kids hurt.” The frustration is evident in her voice.
“Jesse and I will keep an eye on it come game day. I’ll be next to him often, so I can pay attention. If he’s complaining about playing, then I’ll have Coach bench him.”
“I appreciate it. I don’t need my kid getting killed out there because he’s not blocking.”
“I understand. My son is out there too.”
“Thanks.” She jogs off to sit with Jenn, another team mom. They seem to have formed their own mom squad.
“Shall we go another lap?” Lori asks.
“For sure.” As we’re continuing our laps, I’m keeping an eye on the entire field to make sure that no one is getting hurt. I’m also scanning for Brian. I thought that he would have been here by now to show some interest. I pull my phone from my back pocket and nothing. No text, no phone call—nothing.
“Why does my gut tell me he’s going to pull a no show?” I sigh in frustration
“Maybe he will. Would you really be disappointed if he did?” Misty asks.
“No, but I don’t like him toying with Jason that way.”
“I’m sure, but I think he’ll be relieved.” Misty bumps me.
“More like ecstatic.” I giggle.
“Elated!” Misty shouts with laughter.
I burst into laughter. “Thanks, Misty.” She made me feel so much better.
“Anytime, girl.”
It’s getting dark, and practice is coming to an end. I still have not heard from Brian, and I don’t see him at the field. I hurry over to the blanket where all our stuff is sitting and watch as all the boys come running over.
Jason looks around. “Where is he?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, buddy. I haven’t heard from him.”
“I’ll see you guys at the house then.” Jesse puts his bag over his shoulder, and the four of us walk up to our cars. Jesse walks me to mine first and then he tells Gabe to go to his. I pull out of my spot and head toward Jesse’s. “I’m not sure what to say, buddy. I’m sorry he didn’t show.”
“I’m not sure what to think. I was starting to get excited that he cared.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I was talking with Gabe about his mom. He didn’t ever get to give her a second chance.” He lets out a deep breath. “I guess it made me think about how lucky I am that he’s still here and then he goes and blows me off. I’m not sure how to feel.”
“Do you want to go home?”
“No. I wanna chill with Gabe. I don’t want to spend the weekend in my room thinking about him.” He sounds sad, and this right here is what I was worried about. He’s messing with Jason’s emotions.
When we pull into the driveway, Jesse is right behind us. As I’m climbing out of the car, my cell phone rings. I look to see Brian’s name on the screen. I close my eyes in silent prayer that he isn’t going to give me shit. “Go inside,” I tell Jason. He and Gabe grab their stuff and hurry into the house. “Hey, Brian.”
“Where the hell are you?” he growls into the phone.
“I’m at Jesse’s, where are you? Practice ended a while ago.”
“I was running late from work.”
“And you didn’t think it was important to pick up the damn phone to call me? First, I wasn’t going to sit at the field all night and wait for you. Second, you didn’t show, and now Jason is upset. He thinks you blew him off all because you couldn’t call. What is wrong with you?” I’m pacing the driveway, angry that he is giving me crap for not hanging around when a simple phone call could have made this all better.