Too impatient to wait and desperate for the feel of him filling me, I pushed him away until he sat upright again. He watched me with a lazy smile, content to let me do whatever the hell I wanted. Smart man.
Satisfied, my hands dropped to his belt and zipper, making quick work of them. As I pressed him back against the seat, he lifted himself to release his trousers. I dragged them and his black boxers down to his knees and called it quits. Free of its confines, his hard erection jolted forward, captivating me.
Shaun fished his wallet from his pocket and removed a condom. He set to work unwrapping the rubber before helping me climb into his lap with an intense stare. “You sure you want this here?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice not to wobble.
His gaze roamed my face, assessing me. Satisfied with whatever he saw, he pressed the blunt head of his cock against my entrance and paused. He had a firm grip on my hip, and when I tried to lower myself, his fingers dug in, stilling me. He wore a teasing smirk that added to my desperation. “I want to savour this,” he whispered, his voice gravelly but devious. He knew exactly what his delaying tactics were doing to me. Frustration unravelled within me at the teasing press of him inside me.
I circled my hips, taunting him in return. He groaned, pressing down on my hip until I sank down, impaling myself on his length bit by bit. Somehow, he seemed bigger in this position. It rode a fine line between pleasure and pain.
Shaun’s grip on my waist tightened, stalling me again. He gritted his teeth, feeling the pressure as much as me. A hand slid behind my neck, pulling my lips to his. Our kisses were interrupted by intermittent gasps and moans as I sank lower.
When he finally bottomed out, his hands grasped my sides, pressing me down and holding me still. All the while his lips kept working at my mouth, swallowing every noise I made and duelling with my tongue.
Without warning, he dragged my body up his length and slammed back down. The sensation skittered up my spine and jellied my brain. Again and again, he repeated the movement. I tried to keep up, but with each press of his groin against my clit, my eyelids drooped, my head lolled back, and I lost all sense of rhythm.
The sounds of our flesh slapping together filled the air, and I was certain Tom could hear. But with the pressure coiling in my core, I couldn’t remember why that was a problem.
When the coil snapped, I cried out and slumped forward into Shaun’s waiting arms. I buried my head in his shoulder as he continued to pound into me, wracking my body with tiny aftershocks. Shaun buried his face in my hair as he came.
Boneless, we held onto each other, oblivious to everything else. In this dark space, nothing bothered us: no family problems, no scandal-hungry media or rabid fans. It was just us.
I could get used to just us.
The car had been parked for a while, but neither of us moved. We were content holding each other, still connected. The fact Tom hadn’t opened the door was a merciful surprise. We’d have to move soon, and I didn’t want to. Right here, tucked into the dark of the limo, I didn’t need to worry about what life after Shaun might look like.
Shaun’s grip tightened around me, as if he could hear my thoughts.
“Sorry I cut you out.”
I lifted my head, needing to see his expression. “Your uncle was evidently deluded. I get why you needed to get out of there.”
His head fell back against the seat, and his sad smile made my stomach drop. He hummed as he considered my words. “I always knew I wanted to act, be in films. My mother was massively supportive, but the lack of money made it harder. Even though certain members of my dad’s family were rolling in it.” He shrugged, his nervous gaze finally meeting mine. “I guess he blew it all on booze or drugs. Seems like something he would have done.”
He bit his lip, torn.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered. “No matter what you say.”
Shaun nodded. “I told you he was a drunk. He was hard to be around when he was sober, but when he drank, he made it his mission to make me feel worthless. Lily never met him. I didn’t want him so much as breathing the same air as her.”
My eyes burned and my heart hurt. Tears tracked down my face, and I made no attempt to brush them away. I didn’t want to distract him.
“He died when I was sixteen, but he did a lot of damage in that time. At the funeral, all his family could do was praise him. It was like they got together and agreed on a story. They erased his entire married life, erased the monster he’d become. Until then I thought they’d help, that they’d step in. They made all the right noises. And then my uncle stood up at the funeral and spouted a stream of utter bullshit.” He smoothed my tears away, his smile sad. “I might be good at playing other people, but I’m not great at trusting my eyes, okay?”
I nodded. What else could I do?
“Anyway, it all got better after he passed and we shut his family out, but I’m still dealing with it. He was always convinced that no one would love me if I followed my dreams, and then Lily left me for no real reason.” He shrugged.
“And you started sabotaging yourself because it felt like everything you did was pointless?”
“I guess that about sums it up. Without Finn, Jackson and Nathan keeping my head above water in LA, I don’t want to think about how much worse this all might have gone.” A dim light entered his eyes. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole to you when we first met. I thought it would be easier if I kept people away.” His hands framed my face, a sweet smile overtaking his features. “I’m glad you proved me wrong.”
I smiled. “I am too.”
“I’ve gotten so used to being alone with my demons, Mona. Sometimes I forget you’re here to help me.” His fingers traced along my face, the sadness giving way to wonder. “I was such an asshole. I was turning into him and without you,” he swallowed, his eyes shining, “I think I’d be lost. What did I do to deserve you?”
A tear ran down his cheek and I swept it away.
“I don’t care what you were like at the start,” I said. “You’re getting better, that’s all that matters.” I pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss. “You’ve got me.”
He pulled back, holding my searching lips away with firm hands on my shoulders. I frowned at him, confused by the change. “What’s wrong?”
His smile was sweetness itself. I wanted to bottle the flutters it set free in my stomach.
“Absolutely nothing. I just need to make sure you’re in the same place as me.”
“Which is?”
“This isn’t some fling to fill the time between takes. I want you now, after wrap, three years from now. There’s something between us. If I had sense, I’d let you go and find someone who could give you a normal life, but with you, I don’t know how to be sensible. I need you.”
It was my turn to get watery-eyed.
“Are you saying you want to date me?” I asked, the words low and scratchy with cautious hope.
“I guess we’d better start there.” He wore a teasing grin, but I sensed an edge beneath it, like he’d happily pull out a ring and marry me if I let him.
“We’ll be monogamous?”
His eyes narrowed. “You haven’t been sleeping with other people?”
I scoffed. “When do I have time? I’m either working or in your bed.”
He relaxed into the seat.
I dared another. “So, we’re giving each other labels?”
“Fuck yes. I’ve been calling you my girlfriend in my head for weeks.”
I slapped his chest playfully. “Then why didn’t you say something?”
“I thought you’d be resistant.” He laughed.
Alright, so maybe he had a point. I’d only made the shift in the last two weeks to not caring what other people thought about our relationship. Maybe I’d needed time to come to terms with my own wants. I was glad I’d taken it, because I could look at him and feel comfortable with my choices. He might not lead a very private life, but at least I’d had the chance to ge
t used to that before I started falling for him.
“It’s just you and me from here on out,” I whispered.
Chapter Thirty-One
Things moved full-steam ahead on the production for the next two weeks. We spent most of our evenings together, but the later in the day filming started, the less either of us could function afterwards. Falling into bed together, worn out, was about all we’d managed for the last few days. However, with a four-day break in the schedule, Shaun booked a cottage on a private estate for us to recover and actually have some time together. All I could do was count down the days until then.
Four days off, no stupid morning alarms or supporting cast asking inappropriate questions. It sounded like heaven.
We wrapped early that day and the crew decided to celebrate with impromptu drinks in town. We wanted to get on the road early in the morning, but Shaun couldn’t talk himself out of putting in an appearance. By the time we escaped the bar, it was 9PM and we were both on the groggy side of tired.
We walked through the door half an hour later to a notification that a new supernatural drama had dropped. Our early night plans went out the window without much resistance.
Two episodes in to what was going to be a very long binge, Shaun’s laptop started pinging.
“Shaun, your laptop is ringing.”
“Answer it,” he shouted from the bathroom.
“But it’s Jackson?”
“Then definitely answer it.”
“If you say so.” I frowned, reaching for the mouse pad as if it might bite. With one swift move, I accepted the call and forced a smile to my lips.
The beautiful faces of mega-actors Nathan Logan, Jackson Levi and Finn McCarthy filled the screen in tiles. Together they formed a lethal bunch, with Finn’s classic Irish dark hair, light eyes and pale skin and Nathan’s dark and brooding look; Jackson was their complete opposite, with short dirty-blond hair and a tan you could only earn on a surfboard. (What? I wouldn’t be a good assistant if I didn’t research all of Shaun’s friends.)
“Boys, we’re in luck!” Finn said, his Irish accent singing through the screen.
“We were calling to get information out of Shaun, but you’re exactly the person we wanted.” Nathan laughed, rubbing his hands together.
“He’s been impossible to reach the last few weeks. I said there was a woman!” Finn crowed, more than pleased with himself. The other two rolled their eyes.
“Where is Shaun, anyway?” Jackson interrupted, his voice husky and his serious blue eyes distracting me from the puzzle. “It must be serious if he’s letting you answer his calls.”
My mouth opened and closed, but no sound emerged. Three of the kings of screen grinning at me was a bit much.
“I think you’re on mute, love,” Finn offered in a helpful tone. They all stared back at me with expectation in their eyes.
“Well, isn’t this an interesting development,” Shaun said, drawing my attention away from the man candy on the screen. With his arms crossed, he leaned against the bathroom door, laughing at me.
The fog cleared and suspicion moved in. My head turned back and forth between the four of them. Amusement reigned supreme. He set me up.
I smirked at the men before us. “Excuse me. My boyfriend needs to learn his lesson.” Their answering laughter gave me strength.
I shut the lid, sprang to my feet and stalked towards him. He held up his hands and backed into the kitchen. Once the island separated us, Shaun stopped trying to escape. Instead, he stood there with his trademark “look at me I’m gorgeous” smirk. He stared me down, and the closer I got, the more his confidence slipped.
“Why is it that they can stun you, but I can’t?” he muttered, trying to hold me at arm’s length.
“Is that what the call was about, you wanting to see how I’d react to three of cinema’s finest talking at me?”
He nodded. “Maybe a little. You’ve never been affected by me.”
Little did he know, I’d been lucky to get words out of my mouth the first time we’d met. “And that bothers you?”
Shaun frowned, the resistance pushing me away relaxed slightly. Again, he nodded. “I think it does. I don’t know why.”
I chuckled. “I do. You’re used to women falling at your feet.”
“Sometimes, but I wouldn’t have been interested if you’d been easy.”
I raised an eyebrow at that.
“I mean, if you hadn’t resisted, I probably would…” He paused, frowning down at me with the realisation that his ditch kept getting deeper. “This isn’t coming out right. My point is: You were different to them all, and that’s why I wanted you.”
“But you still want me to be affected by your fake smouldering thing?”
He spluttered. “Fake? What do you mean fake?”
“Well, it is, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” He lifted his nose in a hilarious display of haughty.
I took advantage of his weakening attention to push his arms away and step into his personal space. Automatically, they wrapped around me. I beamed like the lovesick woman I was.
Using his chest as a support, I leaned up on my tiptoes and whispered into his ear, “The way you looked at me this morning was much more effective.”
His eyes lit up with the memory of him pressing me against the shower wall. “So, I do affect you?” he said, his voice husky.
“Would I have agreed to this relationship if not?”
He paused, considering my words. “I don’t know. We haven’t known each other that long.” His tone seemed deadly serious, and it took a moment for his meaning to sink in.
“Take it back, you rat!”
Shaun laughed at my indignation.
I dug my fingers into his sensitive sides in retaliation. He backed into the corner of the kitchen, trapping himself against the cabinets, and he soon apologised, his chest heaving with laughter and his eyes wet. Who knew he was that ticklish. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like this. Content and at ease in a relationship. With my ex, it had felt like a constant uphill battle, declarations followed by betrayals. Some had been accidental, like the time he’d forgotten to turn up at my sister’s birthday party because he hadn’t been listening when I’d invited him. Or when he’d ordered my brother coffee with cow’s milk even though I’d told him multiple times that Cameron was intolerant. I spent a lot of time wondering which of my requests or hints he’d ignore next.
With Shaun, it was easy. And despite the short time we’d known each other, I trusted him with every aspect of my life.
“I was joking,” he murmured, his lips brushing against my hair. “I love everything about you. From the top of your pink head to the tip of your toes. Your weird ability to hang upside down from a silk without getting winded. The way you can’t function in the morning without coffee. The dazed look you get in your eyes when you’re working on a problem.”
I leant back until I could see his handsome face. “That’s quite a list.”
The fact he’d used the L word hadn’t escaped my notice either.
“I’m not done.” He grinned, tightening his hold on me. “You’ve made me trust that no matter what I say or do, you’ll always be waiting to catch me. That’s probably the best gift you could give.”
By now, I was a blubbering mess and my chest hurt looking at the love shining in his eyes. And it was love. He might not have said “I love you,” but it was there, clear as day. I don’t know when I fell for him. It might have started the day he’d handed me his copy of Frankenstein, but it had grown slowly, hidden beneath my attempts to keep us apart.
What an absolutely idiot I was.
I couldn’t imagine never waking up to his smiling face. Never experiencing another one of his carefully thought-out surprises. Never seeing that vulnerable look he got in his eyes when he shared something that made him uncomfortable. I missed
him when he wasn’t around, and I relished the moments we could grab alone, whether in his trailer or in a secluded corner of a restaurant. I didn’t want to remember what it was like not to have him in my life.
“I love you too.”
His eyes widened briefly, but then the surprise washed away, replaced by pure satisfaction. His fingers danced across my face, worshiping, cherishing. “Sherry has no idea how big a favour she did me bringing you into my life, Mona.”
“Should we send her a gift?” I asked, teasing.
“I think that would be a hell of a way to break the news.”
I chuckled. “You just don’t want to tell her on the phone.”
“You’ve heard her. She’s all sugar until you piss her off.”
“I’m afraid I’ve not experienced that side of her. I didn’t do anything to piss her off.” I pressed my lips together, suppressing my laughter at his shocked expression.
“Not even when you quit?”
I shook my head.
“Bloody hell, teach me your secrets.”
I grinned. “It’ll take a while, but I’ll try.”
He grinned, his hands stealing into my hair. “Well, fortunately, we’ve got plenty of time.”
On my tiptoes, I met him halfway, our lips gliding against each other’s. Shivers raced down my spine, and I sighed against his mouth. I never wanted to stop being this responsive to him. When we broke the kiss, he stared into my eyes with more emotion than I could fathom.
“Why don’t you go get the next episode queued up and I’ll grab us some drinks?”
I left him in the kitchen, smiling goofily as he pulled soft drinks from the fridge. I opened his laptop to select the next episode in the list with hesitation. What if the call hadn’t ended and I had to talk to the three amigos again? After Shaun’s revelation, I could handle them, I just didn’t want to.
Thankfully, the screen was clear of Golden Globe winners and the risk of my having to volley questions dropped exponentially. For now.
But before I could reconnect the TV, a ping sounded and an email notification popped up in the corner of the screen.
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