by HC Warner
‘She’s safe,’ Ben snarled, his lip curling with contempt, as relief flooded my whole body. ‘God, I can’t believe you would think for one minute that I would hurt her! You’re disgusting!’
I didn’t care what he called me. As long as Elodie was alive and well, he could throw whatever insults he wanted. I nodded and took a deep breath. ‘So where is she, then?’
Ben’s eyes glittered with tears in the moonlight. When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. ‘All you need to know is that she’s safe. From now on, we’re both safe. From you. Come anywhere near either of us again and I will kill you.’ He thrust the blade forward to emphasize his words. ‘I know you don’t think I’d do it. That I’m too much of a wimp. But believe me, I would. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe and get you out of our lives.’
A mixture of shock and relief had once again turned my legs to jelly and I briefly thought I might faint, but I took another deep, calming breath and tried to think clearly. ‘Ben, tell me where Elodie is … Please, Ben, I need to see Elodie.’
Ben’s face contorted into a look of contempt. ‘You need to see Elodie?’ He gave a half-laugh and rolled his eyes. ‘Well, that’s strange, because you didn’t seem to need to see her earlier tonight when you were in your lover’s bed!’
My mouth dropped open in disbelief. How could he possibly know about Leo? In the few seconds I had to collect my thoughts, I decided that he couldn’t know for sure and that it was just a lucky guess. I needed to brazen it out. ‘I wasn’t …’
‘Stop fucking lying!’ Ben yelled. ‘I know you were with him because I called Leo …’ He rolled his tongue around the word to emphasize the name. ‘And Leo told me that you’d left nearly two hours ago!’
I opened my mouth to reply but no words would come out. I was frantically trying to assimilate my thoughts but they were tumbling over each other and I couldn’t seem to hold onto anything concrete. He knew. He knew everything.
Ben took a step closer to me and squeezed hard on the shaft of the knife. A muscle pulsed furiously in his cheek and beads of sweat trickled down the side of his face, mixing with the trail of tears. He had a crazed look in his eyes that I had never seen before. ‘You promised me that you’d stopped seeing him but you were lying, like you lie about everything.’
‘How …?’ I managed to gasp. ‘How did you call him?’
‘Really? That’s what you’re most concerned about? How I got Leo’s number?’
I didn’t reply, fear rendering me mute. The terrifying look in Ben’s eyes was even scarier than the knife he was holding.
Ben shook his head in disbelief. ‘OK,’ he began in a sing-song voice. ‘So remember that night, when I saw the messages on your phone between you and him?’
I nodded slowly, as realization dawned.
‘Well, obviously, I took the precaution of copying his number. In case I ever needed it,’ he added.
I closed my eyes, unable to stand the way he was looking at me for a second longer. Leo would have told Ben everything. Worse, he would have enjoyed it. I had always regretted telling Leo the truth in a drunken moment of madness. I somehow always knew that it would come out eventually.
As if reading my mind, Ben continued. ‘We had quite a long chat in the end, me and Leo …’
I opened my eyes to see Ben looking at me with an expression of pure hatred, before his face crumpled and fresh tears began to pour down his cheeks again. He wiped them away furiously with his free hand and gave an anguished howl. ‘And the one word that keeps going round and round in my brain, is “why”? Why did you have to wreck our lives, Bella? Why couldn’t you just have stayed away from us and got on with your own life, instead of stealing ours?’
A volcanic wave of rage exploded within me. ‘To make your fucking father pay for what he did!’ I screamed, all control now lost. ‘He thought he could dump me like a sack of rubbish. Like I meant nothing! When he knew I was pregnant with his child! He thought he could pay me off like some kind of prostitute and that I’d just take the money and run. That I’d kill our baby!’
Ben visibly recoiled at my words.
‘Well, I wasn’t going to just go away! I wasn’t going to make it easy for him! I decided that the best way to make him pay for what he’d done was for him to be forced to have me in his life for ever.’
Ben’s eyes narrowed, as if steeling himself as I delivered the killer blow. ‘And you were just the convenient idiot to make that happen!’
There was a stunned, heavy silence as my words landed with a sickening, heavy thud, before Ben looked up at me with an agonized, haunted expression. ‘You never felt anything for me,’ he said, his voice filled with pain.
‘No! I never wanted you!’ I yelled. ‘I just wanted him! I couldn’t believe it when the bastard died and I was left alone and stuck with you!’ Rage drove the words out of me with reckless abandon.
‘You’re sick!’ Ben shouted back, anger helping him to recover his strength. ‘You’re a bloody psychopath! I don’t care if I’m not Elodie’s biological father! She loves me and I love her. I’m taking her as far away from you as possible where she’ll be safe. I’m going to make sure you never see her again, you evil bitch!’
I didn’t remember doing it. All I knew was that when I came to, Ben was lying motionless on the ground and I was on top of him, still holding onto a shard of glass that seemed to be embedded in his chest.
As if in slow motion, I climbed off him and stood up. I looked down at myself, frowning at the deep, dark stains on the front of the pale green mac I was wearing. I didn’t understand what the stains were or how they had come to be there. I unbuckled the mac and carefully folded it in on itself, so that the stains weren’t visible. I didn’t want to be able to see them.
I looked down at Ben. His eyes were closed and he seemed as if he was sleeping peacefully. All the angst had left his face, despite the tracks of sweat and tears that remained on his skin. Feeling a sudden tug of affection for him. I knelt down beside him and kissed his cheek. ‘Goodbye, Ben,’ I whispered.
The sound of a car pulling up in front of the gate caused me to snap back into focus, my heart suddenly racing with panic that it might be the police. I look around me wildly, checking that we weren’t overlooked by anyone who might have witnessed what happened and dialled 999. But I already knew we weren’t and mentally said a prayer of thanks that I had insisted on such a private and secluded property.
Stay calm, I told myself. He had a knife. It was self-defence. I would say he had battered me for the past two years and I’d had enough. No jury in the land would convict me. Now I just needed to find out where Elodie was and get her back so that we could disappear. Just the two of us, like it always should have been.
I crept towards the large, wrought-iron gates, trying to see who was in the car, without them seeing me. Although it was dark and I didn’t recognize the small Volkswagen hatchback, from the brightness of the streetlights, I could just about make out the silhouette of a woman sitting at the wheel. I could see that she had shoulder-length, straight hair but as she was facing slightly away from me, I couldn’t see her face.
Just as I was straining to get a better look, she reached up and switched on the internal light, revealing that it was Ben’s ex-girlfriend. I jumped in shock, which was quickly replaced by blind rage, as she turned to hand something to a child sitting in a car-seat in the back. It was Elodie. What the hell was she doing with my child?
Instinctively, I grabbed the knife that Ben had dropped when he fell and pressed the release button to open the gates. I waited impatiently for them to glide open, before striding through them towards the car.
The smile died on Charlotte’s lips as she caught sight of me and she reached for the lock button, her eyes wide with panic, but I was too quick for her.
I wrenched open the passenger door and leaned in.
‘Get out!’ I screamed, pointing the knife in her direction.
‘Mummy!’ Elodie cried in a
larm from the back seat.
Charlotte’s eyes flickered towards the knife, before looking up at me defiantly, as if she was weighing up her odds. ‘No,’ she said, her voice quiet but fierce. ‘Where’s Ben?’
‘Get out of this car now or I will kill you.’
A wave of fear crossed Charlotte’s face but she remained firm. ‘No. Tell me where Ben is.’
‘Want Daddy!’ Elodie wailed, before bursting into plaintive sobs.
‘It’s OK, darling,’ I reassured her, all the while keeping my gaze fixed on Charlotte. ‘Daddy’s just having a little sleep.’
Charlotte gasped and her eyes widened with shock.
‘And we’re just going for a little drive,’ I added, climbing into the passenger seat and slamming the door behind me. I pressed the tip of the knife into Charlotte’s thigh, just firmly enough for her to understand that I was serious.
‘Please,’ she mouthed, looking anguished, rather than scared. ‘Please don’t do this.’
I increased the pressure of the knife a tiny bit more. ‘Just drive.’
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Charlotte could feel the beads of sweat on her forehead and her hands were suddenly slippery on the steering while. She knew it was vital that she tried not to show any fear, but it was impossible as she had never felt so scared in her life. It wasn’t just the knife that was pressed with such delicate menace into her thigh, so much as the nightmarish thoughts that were racing through her mind about what Bella had done to Ben.
She knew she needed to call an ambulance and the police but couldn’t think how to do it without Bella noticing. She decided that honesty was her only option. ‘Can I at least call an ambulance?’ she asked, trying to keep her voice level and her breathing steady.
Bella shot her a look of utter contempt. ‘No. No need.’
Charlotte’s heart momentarily leaped with hope. Maybe that meant that Ben was absolutely fine. Then again, she realized with a creeping horror, maybe she meant instead that it was too late.
‘Where am I supposed to be going?’ Charlotte stole a glance in Bella’s direction, as she started to drive up the wide, dark road, as slowly and as carefully as possible. Elodie continued to cry piteously in the back seat and Charlotte’s heart constricted at the confusion and pain in her young voice.
Bella fixed her with a cold stare. ‘Just do what you’re told and keep driving. And for Christ’s sake, speed up,’ she added, pressing the tip of the knife further into her thigh, causing Charlotte to gasp with pain.
Charlotte’s eyes desperately scanned the road for other cars, but she couldn’t think how to attract attention without Bella noticing. Maybe if she broke the speed limit, they might be lucky enough to encounter a police car who would pull them over. With that faint hope, she depressed the accelerator and increased her speed a little more.
‘Stop bloody crying, Elodie!’ Bella yelled suddenly, confirming Charlotte’s suspicion that, despite her outward show of coolness, she was flustered and didn’t have a plan. Charlotte didn’t know whether to feel alarmed or reassured by this realization.
Elodie began to cry even harder at the harshness of her mother’s words. Bella put her head back and rolled her eyes. ‘For Christ’s sake!’ she muttered, before turning her gaze towards Charlotte and increasing the pressure of the knife a tiny bit further, stabbing agonizingly at her skin through her jeans. ‘Right, I’m going to get into the back seat but don’t even think about trying anything, or I will slit your throat.’
The strangely matter-of-fact tone of voice Bella used made her threat sound even more sinister than if she had shouted or snarled it and Charlotte’s heart pounded with terror and tears of pain and fear filled her eyes. Was that what she had done to Ben? The only reassurance she could give herself was that the knife looked clean, although she was sure she could see traces of streaks of blood on Bella’s hands.
Bella twisted her body until she was in a precarious crouching position, facing into the back seat, with one foot on the central console and the other on her seat. The knife was in her left hand, still pointed in Charlotte’s direction, but less forcefully than before, as she also had to hold onto the backrests with both hands, in order to manoeuvre herself into the back of the car.
Up ahead, Charlotte could see a set of traffic lights on green but as the car approached at speed, the green light turned to amber and instinctively, Charlotte pressed the brake to slow down.
Immediately, Bella gripped the knife more firmly and thrust it dangerously close to Charlotte’s cheek. ‘Do not slow down!’ she yelled, glancing over her shoulder at the lights. ‘Go through!’
Charlotte’s heart lurched with fear. ‘But it’s on red!’ she screamed back, her foot hovering over the brake.
Bella jabbed the knife into Charlotte’s cheek and she immediately felt the warmth of her own blood as it oozed down the side of her face. ‘I said, keep fucking going!’ Bella roared.
Charlotte whimpered with fear and said a mental prayer that there would be nothing coming from the other direction. She sped through the red light but clearly no one was listening to her prayers, as a white van smashed into them from the front, left-hand side and the car spun and spun and spun.
The world seemed to stand still as Bella flew backwards, almost as if in slow-motion, towards the windscreen, which shattered into a million pieces, as her beautiful head made contact, and then she kept on flying through the air. Until she was gone altogether.
Part Four
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Three Years Later
‘Happy birthday, Bertie!’ Jo cried, placing a huge chocolate cake with three lit candles onto the wooden garden table in front of him.
Bertie’s big blue eyes widened in delight and he grinned from ear to ear, as he knelt up on his chair to get closer to the cake. He brushed his blond hair out of his eyes and waited patiently while they all sang an enthusiastic but tuneless version of ‘Happy Birthday’, before leaning forward and puffing as hard as he could.
Only one of the candles was extinguished, so he tried again, but still the other two stayed alight.
‘Shall I do it?’ Elodie offered, sliding onto the chair and kneeling beside him.
Bertie looked up at her adoringly. ‘Let’s do it together!’
Everyone cheered and clapped as their joint puffing finally blew out the candles.
Jo cut into the cake and put a giant slice onto a paper plate in front of Bertie. ‘First slice for the birthday boy!’
‘Thank you,’ said Bertie politely, waiting until Jo had looked away, before sliding the plate over to Elodie. ‘You can have the first one,’ he whispered conspiratorially.
Charlotte watched the interaction between the two of them and felt a squeeze of love. The bond they shared was so lovely to see, and having Bertie in her life had helped Elodie enormously after the difficulties of the past few years.
She was a sweet, clever little girl but there was a sadness within her that never seemed to be too far from the surface, which was hardly surprising. She had the same huge, dark eyes and full, bee-sting lips as her mother and it was already clear that she was going to inherit Bella’s beauty. Whether she had also inherited the darker side of her character remained to be seen, but the signs were hopeful that she hadn’t.
‘Do you want some cake, Charlie?’ Elodie broke through Charlotte’s thoughts. ‘You can have some of mine if you want.’
Charlotte walked over and dropped a kiss onto the top of Elodie’s head. ‘No thanks, sweetie. My tummy’s big enough already!’
Elodie threw a sidelong glance at Bertie and they both giggled. Charlotte wagged her finger. ‘Enough of the cheek, you two!’ she teased. ‘Now, who wants another drink?’
‘Me!’ shouted Bertie and Elodie in unison.
‘Me!’ shouted Matt, putting up his hand and pretending to bounce up and down in his seat as everyone laughed.
‘You should be making Charlie one, not the other way round,’ Freya chided
him. She put her feet up onto the chair next to her and tilted her face towards the sun, dropping her sunglasses as she did so. ‘But if you’re making one, Charlie, I wouldn’t say no?’
Charlotte laughed and followed Jo, who was heading back into the kitchen. It was a relief to get out of the hot sun and into the cool, calm shade of the house. ‘You sit down,’ Jo told her bossily. ‘I’ll make the drinks.’
Charlotte thought about arguing but her body was protesting too loudly and she was happy to do as she was told.
‘How are you feeling, darling?’ Jo threw over her shoulder, as she bustled about, preparing a fresh round of drinks for everyone, while simultaneously slotting trays into the Aga and preparing different plates of salad.
Charlotte watched her in awe, feeling exhausted by her energy. It was good to see Jo looking so happy and in her element, compared to the husk of a person that she became during that awful, awful time. She would never be completely back to her old self – how could she be after what happened? – but she was certainly a million times better than before. ‘I’m feeling …’ Charlotte began, with a wry smile. ‘Fat, sweaty and knackered!’
Jo stopped her bustling and turned to look at Charlotte. ‘Well, I can honestly say that I’ve never seen you look more beautiful. And there’s not too long to go now – hopefully!’
‘No, thank God!’ Charlotte agreed, cradling her enormous bump. She turned to look out over the terrace where everyone was still gathered, the adults chatting and the children laughing at some secret, shared joke. ‘Emma next, I hope.’