by Layla Nash
I snorted, fighting a smile. "What are you doing here, anyway?"
"Working out." He gestured at his gym clothes and the rapidly drying t-shirt. "I keep the books for Kaiser, so he lets me work out here for free."
"You keep the books? Like, the finances?"
"Yeah." Carter's smile grew, a little amused as he studied me. "I've got an MBA, I'm qualified."
"Shut up." I put my hands on my hips as I stared at him. "You have an MBA?"
Carter laughed, shaking his head as he looked at the ground, then ran a hand through his hair. "Apparently there's a lot you don't know about me."
"Well…"
"So let's change that." Carter glanced over his shoulder at where Kaiser spoke with Owen near the office, his towel once more secure, then smiled at me. "Have dinner with me."
"I can't." A surge of adrenaline made my hands shake. I couldn't. If anyone saw us out together, they would assume we were dating and then everything would get way too complicated.
"That was fast." He laughed and started unwrapping his hands. "Call it a business meeting. Bring the records for the bar and I'll take a look at them."
"A business meeting." My stomach wobbled, and I clenched my hands together behind my back. It was tempting, especially when he smiled at me and got that mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "I don't know if…"
"Tonight." He glanced at his phone, then frowned. "Seven o'clock. You want me to pick you up, or will you meet me there?"
"I…" My thoughts couldn't keep up with his plans, and I struggled to form a coherent response. "I'll meet you. Where?"
"Haven't decided yet." He glanced at me, eyebrow raised, and the smile grew. "I'll call you in a bit."
He headed for what I assumed was the locker room and I stared after him, still a little uncertain about how I agreed to go on a date with him. Shaking my head, I caught Kaiser watching me from the doorway of his office, arms crossed. I started to tell him it wasn't what it looked like, but the words died in my throat. It was exactly what it looked like.
So instead, I held up a hand to cut off whatever he hadn't said, and headed for the door. "I'll cut you the check tomorrow, Kaiser."
At least the air outside cooled the burn from my cheeks, and my helmet hid the rest as I stalked to the motorcycle at the curb. Every time my phone pinged with a new message, a frisson of excitement ran through me and I both hoped for and dreaded the arrival of Carter's text.
By the time I got back to the bar, I could hardly concentrate enough not to lay the bike down in a heap, and I strode through the back without acknowledging anyone. Rafe sat in the office, frowning at spreadsheets full of information. I paused in the doorway. "Hey. You busy?"
"Nah." He rubbed his forehead as he tossed the paper aside and leaned back in his chair. "You were up early."
He always knew when something bothered me, part of the price and gift of being twins. I eased into the office and kicked the door closed behind me. "Met Nat for brunch. We went to Kaiser's gym and I got the price for a monthly pack membership. We'll need to sell a shitload of beer."
He snorted and put his feet up on the desk, staring up at the ceiling with a sigh. "Shit, Bee. I don't know if the bar is the way to do that. We might need to branch out."
"I've got a plan for that." Lying to Rafe was always difficult, if not impossible. He could read me like a book. "I'm meeting Carter tonight to go over the books, see where we might be able to improve things. Maybe branch out."
"Carter?" Rafe frowned, his dark eyebrows more like fuzzy caterpillars. "He handles Nat's restaurant, so maybe he'll have something useful to say. You want me to come?"
"If you want." I shrugged, even though my heart sped up to think of bringing Rafe on my date with Carter. That wouldn't go over well. "But who'd cover the bar?"
My brother's head tilted as he studied me. "You go. Just let me know what he says. And tell me what's really bothering you, because I know something's up."
My fingers drummed on the arm of my chair, and I put my boots up next to Rafe's on the corner of the desk. I studied the boots, not him, as I went on. "Met with Evershaw last night."
Rafe's eyes narrowed. "You didn't say anything."
"He wanted to talk to me alone." I held up my hands. "I just wanted to hear what he had to say. And it's a good thing you weren't there, because you might have killed him. He wants to combine our packs, align against the rest of the shifters, and take me as his mate."
I knew him well enough to see the rage in his eyes and the bulging vein in his temple, despite that Rafe looked only moderately interested in what I said. He read between the lines well enough to know there wouldn't be room for him in Evershaw's pack. He swallowed before he spoke. "I see."
"I told him no way." I shoved to my feet and tried to pace in the cramped office, but only made it three steps before I had to about-face. "Obviously. But he's pushing for only one wolf pack in the city. Which is why we have to get our shit together. We can't count on the lions, or the bears, or anyone else. Just us. Just pack."
Rafe stared at something only he could see, and after a long silence, he looked at me. "Were you tempted?"
"By Evershaw?" I snorted, giving up on the pacing to just stand there. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course not."
"Bee," he said, and leaned his elbows on the desk. "Look. We might have to consider breaking up the pack, or one of us splitting off. There aren't a whole lot of wolves that would mate with you but let me stick around as alpha. And there aren't a whole lot of wolves that would mate with me but let you stick around as alpha. We've got a unique set-up, and it's worked for us, but I don't know if it's sustainable long-term. You know?"
Swallowing grew difficult. "You're fucking kidding me. You want me to go with Evershaw?"
"That's not what I said." Rafe sighed, and rubbed his face. "But come on, Bee. I know you want kids. I want kids. That's not going to be easy the way things are now. How long do we wait?"
We looked at each other in silence for way too long. My heartbeat echoed in my ears and I felt like I was drowning. "We worked too hard for this, Rafe. Gave up too much to just walk away."
He eased to his feet. "I'm not walking away. Just… — think about how this can work for us, with families, going forward."
I wanted to hit him. Instead, I walked out of the office and headed for the basement to start hauling kegs and crates up for the night.
Chapter 6
Even as he arrived at the upscale Italian restaurant exactly at seven, Carter wasn't entirely certain Ruby would show up. When he'd called with the name and address of the restaurant, after he confirmed he could actually get a reservation, she sounded distracted and upset. Breathing hard, like she'd been exercising or crying. So he mentally prepared to be stood up, and figured he'd give her thirty minutes before he called Edgar to join him instead.
But at five past seven, the maître d' escorted her around the dance floor and toward the table, and Carter stood to pull out her chair. She looked fucking amazing. She wore a simple black dress, tight in all the right places before it flared out, with a crimson sash and a strand of pearls. The colorful tattoos on her arms and back only added to the allure. She'd pulled her hair back in a high ponytail, exposing the long column of her neck, and all he could think about was nibbling on the white flesh. Marking her. Leaving hickies and bites until everyone knew she was claimed.
She raised her eyebrows as she paused by the chair he'd pulled out. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Do I pass?" She made a face and turned in a quick circle, so he got the full benefit of the backless dress and the sweep of fabric over her ass. And since it didn't look like she wore any underwear...
He cleared his throat, willing away the heat that surged to his face. "Yes, you do. Please sit."
Ruby winked and seated herself gracefully, though she crossed her legs and the high heel she wore caught his attention. Delicate ankles and smooth, muscular calves…Carter shook himself out of his reverie and managed to
get back to his chair, pouring her wine as he tossed the napkin across his lap to hide the evidence of how very well she passed. "You look lovely, Ruby."
"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." She gestured at the suit he wore, her lips slightly pursed. "I don't think I've ever seen you so dolled up."
"Only for special occasions." He smiled, but still wondered what game she played. This brash, up-front Ruby was just a show. The real Ruby, vulnerable and soft and willing, was the one he wanted to see. "Did you bring the records?"
"Of course." She pulled a manila envelope out of her bag and tossed it onto the table. "We need to expand the business, find other sources of income. So far everything we've considered has too high a cost of entry, and we can't get the financial backing to start up."
"What about loans?" He paged through the spreadsheets and detailed business plans, only half paying attention to what he read.
"We have enough debt with the bar. And we don't take charity, so don't offer. Nat already tried to convince me to take on Logan as a business partner, but the pack's business remains separate. That's just how it's going to be." She toyed with the delicate strand of pearls she wore, a ladylike accessory at odds with the tough tattoos and piercings.
Carter raised an eyebrow at her as he looked up. "So you turn down alternate sources of funding but complain about not having enough money to expand?"
Ruby folded her arms over her chest. "Rafe and I built this pack from nothing. We can take it to the next level without a hand-out."
He put the paperwork away as the waiter approached, and the business of ordering dinner distracted him from the way her cleavage beckoned. Only after the waiter retreated and Carter refilled her glass of wine did he go on. He studied her, the bravado as she surveyed the cozy but popular restaurant. "Where do you see yourself in a year, Ruby? In five years?"
Half her mouth pulled up in a smile, then Ruby leaned back and tapped a rhythmic pattern on the white tablecloth. "In a year? Probably still running the bar. Holding Evershaw off from taking over the pack."
"I meant where you want to be in a year. What are your goals? Good financial planning starts with a goal in mind. What do you want to accomplish?"
She got a faraway look and bit her lower lip. "I want to have the only pack in this city. I want to have the bar, a couple of restaurants, a gym, a hotel, everything. I want enough money so the people I love won't have to work shitty jobs anymore. I want to shut down the Auction so no more women are bartered away as if they were property."
"Noble goals." Carter leaned his elbows on the table, just to be closer to her. Just to catch a hint of the perfume she wore, maddening and intoxicating and curling around his brain until he couldn't think of anything but her. "But those are all for the pack. What are your personal goals?"
Her smile twisted into something sad and amused. "The pack is all that matters, Carter. You know that."
He shook his head. "Ruby, you deserve to be happy, to have goals of your own. The pack shouldn't be your entire life."
"You don't understand." She looked away, a hint of red in her eyes. But when she looked back at him and picked up her wine glass, her expression returned to smiling and dismissive. "Being alpha is all I ever wanted. Now, I've got it. I don't have the right to want more. Everything I have, everything I am – it goes to the pack."
Carter studied the tendril of hair that escaped the ponytail and curled near her ear, and he reached across the table to touch her hand without thinking. "I never understood why Logan wanted to be alpha, why he was so desperate to be in charge. It doesn't seem like a good thing, frankly. It's a burden and a punishment. He suffers for us. He suffers because of us. Our hurts are his hurts, but there's no one to care when he's hurting. It seems to me a terribly lonely way to live."
"I have Rafe." But she looked away.
His fingers closed around hers, the lion desperate to comfort her. "You deserve so much more, Ruby."
The silence stretched as she refused to look at him, and Carter refused to release her hand. He could be stubborn too, a quality his brothers despaired of. Eventually, she cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, blue eyes calm as she tugged her hand free. "Strange conversation for a business meeting, Chase."
"I never said it was a business meeting."
Before she could retort, the waiter arrived with the first course. Carter wanted to break the silence but couldn't quite decide how to start. Only a few bites into the salad, Ruby pushed the dish back and propped her chin on her hands, fixing him with an intense look. "Look. Of course I want a partner and a mate. Of course I want kids and family and a loud house and hockey gear in the front hall, and toys in the yard, and everything. I want that. But I don't think I want that enough to give up what I've worked and sacrificed for, nor do I want that enough to screw my brother over and drive him away from what he's worked so hard for."
"Why does it mean —"
"Any wolf in this city that I would consider a partner would not be willing to tolerate Rafe as alpha." She shook her head, rubbing her forehead. "And if the guy is willing to let Rafe be alpha, then chances are I'm not going to be interested in him. So it's unfortunate, and yes, probably sad, but that's the reality."
"Why does he have to be a wolf?"
She opened her mouth to retort but stopped and her teeth clicked together. Carter raised his eyebrows. "Well? I know the wolves have rather draconian rules about a lot of things. Is it required that an alpha have a wolf mate?"
"It's not required."
"So why are you only choosing the scenario where you have to pick one or the other – the pack or a mate? Why not both?"
"Because that's not how it —"
He leaned forward and kept his voice low. "What are you afraid of, Ruby?"
"That I'll actually love you," she said, and he blinked.
Ruby cursed and looked away, across the restaurant, as the waiters brought a dessert tray around to another table. He waited, heart jumping to his throat. After a long pause, she glanced at him sideways. "Do you have any idea how scary it is to admit a weakness?"
"Of course." He leaned back as the waiter cleared their plates and replaced the salad with fragrant soup. When they were alone again, Carter rested his fingers on the edge of the table to keep from grabbing her hands again. "But there's no reason this is a weakness, Ruby. It's not —"
"It is for a woman." Her expression hardened. "Especially for a woman in charge. The moment I want to dress up, the moment I go on a date or hold hands with a guy — something changes. I become just another woman to be sheltered and coddled. Not the alpha, not the best fighter in the pack, not one of the most powerful wolves in the city. No, I'm just Carter's girlfriend. Me caring about someone? That's absolutely a weakness. And it's a weakness because what if you decide you don't want me? What if I like you more than you like me?"
Carter wanted to shake his head and smack his forehead. What a screwed up perspective on love. But it didn't entirely surprise him. The wolves in particular viewed everything as a zero sum game. Which made love and relationships competitions as well, in which one partner always had to have an advantage. She chewed her lower lip in a rare display of uncertainty, fidgeting with her silverware and reaching for the wine once more. "It might be too much of a leap for me. I don't know if I can deal with the uncertainty."
"But it would be easier to shack up with Evershaw?"
She made a face and tasted the soup, picked at the breadsticks, rearranged her napkin. Did anything and everything to not look at him. "At least with him, I know it wouldn't ever…my heart wouldn't get broken. Wouldn't even be in danger. It would be a power struggle every day for the rest of my life, but he wouldn't be able to hurt me as much as someone I care about."
Carter wanted to shake some sense into her. Imagine, picking an exhausting life of power struggles over a peaceful relationship. He scrubbed at his hair, not caring if it stood up in spikes and looked ridiculous. The lion grumbled about wanting to show her t
hat no one would hurt her, not even him. Especially not him. Carter took a deep breath. "Aren't you tired, Ruby? You're vigilant all the time. Every minute. Don't you ever relax? Do you even sleep, or is one eye open all night?"
"Four or five hours," she said, with a half smile.
"Then why the hell don't you want to be with someone who can protect you while you sleep? Someone you can relax around, not because you're weak, but because I can be strong for both of us?"
She shook her head but didn't speak, once more concentrating on the utensils, and sadness gathered in her eyes. Irritated, Carter folded his napkin on the table and shoved to his feet. He held out his hand as she looked up. "Let's dance."
"Dance?"
He canted his head at the dance floor and the house band, a string quartet with a few extra pieces. "Dance. Come on."
Ruby scowled at him, but she tossed her napkin on the table. She would never turn down a challenge. She rose slowly and placed her hand in his, and Carter immediately pulled her to his side and set the pace to the dance floor. He needed contact with her, and the lion desperately needed to feel her skin. She was upset and sad, and the lion just wanted to take her some place warm, tuck her in, and curl up around her so she could sleep safely. The lead violinist smiled broadly when he saw them approach, clearly pleased someone would dance, and even raised his eyebrows to indicate Carter could choose the next song.
He smiled, said, "Tango, please," and was rewarded by an indignant sound from Ruby.
The soft waltz trailed off, wrapped up, and then the violinist slid into a beautiful Argentine tango. Carter faced Ruby as she hissed, "I don't know how to tango."
He took her left hand and placed it on his shoulder, and slid his right hand high on her back, her skin smooth and soft and warm under his palm. The scent of her hair distracted him as he pulled her close to his chest and his cheek brushed hers. "Luckily, I do. And since I'm leading, that works for us both."