They climbed into Anjuli’s car to head back to her place. Garrett had walked down to her apartment before rehearsal so they could ride together. It almost feels like we’re...dating, she thought. But I know better. We’re friends with benefits at most. “Speaking of Nigel...”
“Yes?” Garrett’s eyebrows perked as she turned the key in the ignition. The night was cold and blustery; November had arrived with a chilly vengeance.
“How do you know him so well?” She didn’t say it in an accusatory tone, or at least she tried not to. She suspected there was more than a professional affiliation between the two men, especially considering the way Nigel reacted to finding Garrett with her in the Green Room a couple of weeks prior. Maybe she should have gotten the clue Garrett was bisexual back then...
He let out a little huff of air. “Well, I knew him originally from grad school. But yes, I know him on a more personal level too.”
She laughed. “I thought so, but I didn’t want to pry.”
“I should have been honest with you about my orientation from the beginning,” he admitted. “I apologize for that. I am still learning about this open relationship thing...”
Her face began to burn as soon as the “R word” rolled off his tongue. She couldn’t quite choke out any words at first. She was surprised she didn’t drive off the side of the road, she was so shocked to hear that term come out of his mouth.
She swallowed down her nerves. “Open relationship?”
“Fuck,” he chuckled, then took a deep breath as he appeared to collect his thoughts. “That was probably a poor choice of words. I—well, I mean, we—” He paused again. “I don’t know what you’d really call this thing.”
She’d been trying so hard not to define it, not to label it, even though it was eating at her. The more time she spent with Garrett, the more attached she felt. Even though she had committed to being a friend and helping him find his brother, and she’d vowed not to develop feelings, it was turning out to be a slippery slope.
“Well, we haven’t really talked about it. I—I didn’t want to assume anything.”
“Are you seeing anyone else?” he questioned, and she strained to detect hope for a negative answer in his tone. He seemed rather matter-of-fact about the whole thing. Perhaps that shouldn’t have surprised her considering the easygoing nature of his relationship with Chase, which was also “new.” Newer than I am in his life, I think.
“No, no. I, well... I didn’t really date after my daughter was born, not until about a year ago. And I have mostly been exploring the...well, to be blunt, the sexual side of things because I missed out on a lot when she was growing up. I never even had a serious relationship other than the one I had with Mishti’s father, but he left when he found out I was pregnant.”
Now she felt ridiculous. She was supposed to be ten years older, ten years more experienced. But there was always something about Garrett that made her feel green, immature. I can’t believe I just admitted that to him...
“I see,” was all he said. Not nearly enough words to give her any indication what his thoughts were on the matter. She would have to press for more.
“What about you?”
“Well, unless you count Chase, I haven’t had any partners since the student I told you about over the summer. Except right after that blew up—there was one time with Nigel. Before I met you,” he added.
She didn’t know what to think about his involvement with Nigel. She didn’t have a problem with it...but she suspected Nigel had deeper feelings, given his reaction to finding her and Garrett together. “But you’re not really in a relationship with either of them? I’m sorry, I don’t know how all this works.”
He chuckled and patted her knee. “We’re all just feeling our way in the dark, aren’t we? I would consider them both to be friends with benefits. No commitment to them. No...romantic feelings.”
But what about me? Do you have romantic feelings for me?
She bit her tongue so she wouldn’t ask. She was quiet as she took a sharp curve, peering down at the trail of red taillights whizzing past on the interstate below. The Beltway was busy even at 10 PM.
“So what is an open relationship, exactly?” she finally questioned.
“It just means you can see other people. It’s non-exclusive,” he answered. “I mean, you could have other rules too, if the relationship was committed, but—”
But we don’t have a commitment, she wanted to say. Once again, she stopped herself. “So this is the type of relationship you’ve had in the past?”
“I think open is assumed unless you have the exclusivity discussion. What do you think?” He threw the ball back in her court.
“That makes sense, I guess.”
Seeing him with Chase was hot; there is no way she could deny that. But the thought of him with another woman—it did things to her. The thought alone made her heart race and stomach drop, like she was hurtling down the hill on a tall rollercoaster. She couldn’t remember feeling that way about any of the men she’d briefly dated—if you could call it dating—in the past year. She didn’t remember caring much for any of them, not in that way.
Which is probably why it never went any further than just sex, she reflected.
The discussion was making her uncomfortable. As much as she wanted to ask more questions, she was terrified of the answers. “Oh, I need to update you on the Jackson situation when we get back to my place.” Changing the subject alleviated some of the weight bearing down on her chest.
“Okay,” he answered, sounding a bit skeptical of her decision to pull away from their discussion.
The rest of the drive was silent. The traffic began to thin out by the time she took the exit for her neighborhood. A few more turns and they were sitting in the tiny parking garage under her building. She whipped her little black car into its space, and when she pulled the key from the ignition, the lights inside illuminated. Garrett’s eyes shifted toward her before he scrubbed his fingers through his beard, as he had a habit of doing.
“I hope Nigel doesn’t make you shave it for the show,” she said wistfully.
He laughed. “I might put my foot down on that directorial decision. I’ve grown rather attached to it in the past month or so.” He winked, then leaned over to press a soft kiss against her cheek.
Garrett made himself comfortable on her sofa while she checked her email and voicemail in the other room. Her face fell as the hopes of receiving a breakthrough in finding Jackson Stone were dashed. She dreaded telling Garrett that they’d seemed to reach a dead end.
“So?” He looked so hopeful as she sat down beside him.
“Martin Foster’s parents said they hadn’t heard from Jackson since he first returned from Afghanistan,” she disclosed.
His eyebrows flew up. “Lilly told me he’d kept in touch with them up until he disappeared...so that’s odd.”
She shrugged. “And Cole Woodson’s wife didn’t really have any other information for me either.”
“Fuck.” He scratched at his head, ruffling his fiery mane and making her fingers itch to run through his red locks. “I haven’t heard back again from Sarah. It’s earlier in Colorado, though—maybe I should call her now? It’s only 8:30 there.”
Anjuli shrugged again—seemed to be the body language du jour. “It’s worth a shot.” She couldn’t help but wonder what Sarah’s story was, how Garrett had known her, why they’d broken up. She wished she felt comfortable asking, but just like their conversation earlier, it seemed too awkward to delve into anything like that.
He pulled out his phone and pressed a couple of buttons like it was no big deal. “It’s ringing,” he told her as he held the phone to his ear. His lips spread into a smile as soon as he heard a voice. She could hear it too, muffled and faint, but unmistakably soft and feminine.
“Hey, long time no talk, how are you?” he asked into the phone. “Yeah, I’m good. Doing a show—Chicago... Yep, Billy Flynn... Yeah, having a blast. What’s new with y
ou?”
He made a gesture for “talking a lot” with his hand and smiled at Anjuli as he continued to listen, interjecting the occasional “uh huh” and “yes” into the conversation.
Finally: “Well, it’s kind of a long story, but I found out a few weeks ago I have a half-sister and half-brother.... Yeah, I know. It was a shock... My brother was stationed at Fort Carson and was deployed to Afghanistan... Yeah, I remembered that your husband is there... Uh huh... Well, anyway, after he recovered from his injuries, he disappeared, and we’re trying to track him down... I know... Yeah, just basically exploring any lead we can find, and we were looking for a contact there... Right... So I thought of James.”
Anjuli noticed her heart was pounding harder the longer the conversation went. This is not my family, she reminded herself. She had worked so hard not to get too emotionally invested in the lives of her veteran clients, but it seemed like all that work had just flown out the window with Garrett. Down deep there was a part of her rooting so intensely for him to find his brother, she would do nearly anything to make it happen.
“Oh, yeah, I can do that. Let me write it down, just a sec.” He motioned to Anjuli for a paper and pen, and she handed him the ubiquitous yellow notepad she had been keeping details in. He scribbled down what appeared to be an email address. She didn’t miss the grin that affixed itself to his face. “I really appreciate this, Sarah; you have no idea how much... Thank you... Yes, definitely will. Don’t be a stranger... Okay. Bye now.”
He hung up and turned to Anjuli, whose heart was pounding even faster than it had been a few moments before. The email address looked to be a military one. “I’m supposed to send him the information, and he’ll see what he can do.”
“Great,” she said, smiling back at him. She had no idea what kind of people Sarah and her husband were, but she really hoped they’d be able to give them the breakthrough they needed to find Jackson.
“Is everything okay?” Garrett questioned, his eyebrows knitting together with concern.
“Yeah, why?” She didn’t mean to sound defensive, but she knew it showed up like a spark struck on flint in just two words and her stiff body language. She stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room with her arms crossed over her chest.
“You seem...agitated?” He pointed to the space in front of him on the floor in between his legs. “Come sit.”
She didn’t question. There was something about the command of his voice that pulled her, a pull she had never felt from anyone before. She thought about protesting, but by the time the thought crossed her mind, she was already settling down between his legs.
His broad hands became heavy weights on her shoulders until he began to knead her taut muscles. “Was it our earlier conversation?”
She felt the tendons in her neck go rock-hard, and not in a good way. She wasn’t expecting such a direct question. “Well...”
“Is it Nigel?” he pressed. “I won’t sleep with him while I’m with you if it bothers you. Or Chase, if that’s what you want.”
A bullet of surprise whizzed through her. She had to suppress a gasp of shock. “I can’t ask you to do that,” she fired back. She had to get the focus off her, her feelings, what she wanted... She didn’t want him to make concessions for her anyway...did she?
“Why not? I get the sense the open thing is not your cup of tea.” He worked his way down to her shoulder blades where her muscles were knotted deep beneath her skin.
She wanted to stand up, walk away. The impulse was there, but when she sent the signal from her brain to her legs, they remained frozen. “You don’t owe me anything, Garrett.”
He scoffed. “What was it you told me about being a grown adult and making your own decisions?”
She shook her head, glad she wasn’t locking eyes with him in this moment. It would be too hard to say what she felt she must. “I thought this was just about sex. The thing between you and me, I mean—we’re just having a good time. No strings.”
“If that’s what you want,” he replied, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders again. He stroked his fingers down her neck, causing an electrical current to charge under her skin. “Not really a relationship then...”
“You sound disappointed?” Her heart was racing with the hope of something she shouldn’t want but then again, I kind of do. Sort of. But yes, really.
He slid his hands under her arms and in seconds, he lifted her to standing so she faced him. In a flash. The whirlwind display of his strength would have knocked her off her feet if he wasn’t holding her firmly upright in his arms.
Why is he hugging me? What the hell does this mean?
“I think you need a release,” he whispered in her ear.
“Are you saying I have hysteria or something? Have we just traveled back in time a hundred years?” She pulled back, teasing him. It was much easier to interject some humor than to face the serious questions he seemed to be raising.
He’s ten years younger than me, her brain kept repeating. She had to keep reminding herself because, in some ways, his soul felt so much older than hers. Chase’s had too. What was with these guys?
“Hey, they might have gone about it the wrong way, but it is true that orgasms are highly effective in alleviating stress. I am sure the stress of the show is getting to you,” he pointed out with a knowing smirk.
As a psychologist, she couldn’t think of a legitimate argument against that logic. “Then what do you suggest?”
She wanted to ask—so what if I wanted a relationship? Open or otherwise?
Then what?
But he had already captured her lips, pressing her body to his as if he wanted to merge their flesh into one, even with clothes still on. She started to pull back to say something, but his grip only tightened. He didn’t break their liplock while he expertly lifted her shirt up and over her head, pausing only for the slightest second as the material passed between their lips.
He was so hungry for her, she felt weak in the knees. She’d never been devoured by a man this way before. Her body was teeming with such strong chemicals, she nearly felt drunk. He worked his hungry mouth down her neck and chest, where he bit her nipple through the lace fabric of her bra, then whipped it off her with the flair of a magician.
“Anjuli, you are a goddess,” he breathed out as he continued to work his way down her ample curves until he was on his knees, looking up at her with his eyes gleaming like emeralds. “I want to make you scream out my name, my angel.” His voice was so rough and raspy it didn’t sound remotely related to the pure tenor voice she’d heard command the stage earlier that evening.
He hooked his thumbs in the sides of her panties and began to tug them down her legs as each of her limbs stiffened. She’d never felt this exposed when other lovers looked at her, but their eyes didn’t eat her up like she was a slice of pie. Her arms instinctively crossed between her breasts and stomach, attempting to hide the soft pooch of motherhood that swelled above her mound of short, dark curls.
“Please,” he begged, glancing up at her again, the panties now several feet away next to her bra. “Let me admire you. You are so unbelievably exquisite.” He decorated her full thighs with kisses and nips as he worked his way toward her core.
Her arms fell at her sides as she swooned against his expert mouth. She might have fallen over if he didn’t have his hands firmly planted on each of her hips, stabilizing her. His tongue darted between her folds, and then it didn’t matter how stable his hands made her, her knees were quickly becoming jelly. “I...Garrett—fuck,” she said on an exhale.
Despite their earlier conversation and her nudity, her reservations were deftly stripped away by this man whose tongue, fingers and cock seemed to be endowed with some sort of magic she was powerless against. Recognizing she was about to lose her footing, he stood and guided her toward her bedroom, where he helped spread her on the bed, her ass barely clinging to the side of the mattress. He was on his knees again in an instant, his mouth forging t
he path he’d just blazed moments before.
I can keep it just to this, she promised herself, her back arching under his touch. He slid a thick finger, then two inside her wetness. She clenched around him, her core tightening with need as he began to work his fingers in and out and his tongue in tandem against her swollen clit.
He brought her impossibly close, then abruptly pulled away. Her eyes were clamped shut, her fists gripping the sheets as all the nerves inside her crying out were abruptly suspended on a cliff. Her eyes flew open, searching the darkness till they found his and his smirk, staring up at her. “Are you ready, angel?” he questioned.
“No,” she answered, her chest heaving with her agony, “I want to come on your cock.”
A grin spread across his face like wildfire as he stood victoriously between her legs. He was still clothed, but not for long. He had his entire wardrobe dismantled in Guinness record time and was standing before her with his huge, throbbing cock sliding in and out of his fist before she knew it.
He reached for a condom he had laid on the bed, but she shook her head. “No, I want to feel you—at least once. I want to feel all of you inside me. Nothing between us.”
He grunted as he processed her words, as if the thought alone almost pushed him over the edge. She barely heard him ask if she was sure, but she nodded again before letting out a tortured moan, not wanting to wait a second longer to have his cock fill her up.
Garrett pulled her closer to him by the thighs so he could impale her with a swift thrust, only his cock was too big to be buried completely in one try. He groaned when he met resistance, then wiggled his hips until he found passage. Her breath stolen, she felt the sensation of fullness surge through her as her fists wrapped around the sheets again, trying to ground her body before it took flight.
He pulled her legs up, ramming into her with such force that her breasts bounced up and down against her ribcage. The position afforded her the perfect vantage to watch his arms, pecs and abs all working together to pleasure her. Looking down at his bare cock entering her, she shuddered with ecstasy. She had never felt anything more consuming, more overwhelming than this.
The Navigator (Mountains Series Book 5) Page 17