by Aubrey Rose
The crowd spilled through the doors onto the sand, the overhead spotlights illuminating them as they surged forward to the stage. Julian climbed up one of the back ladders and adjusted an off-kilter red spotlight. From this height he could barely see the ocean, the waves at high tide crashing against the shore. The lights from the stage and the audience lit the entire beach dimly, and the whitewash of the waves roiled. It was a choppy sea, definitely unlike the calm waves that he had seen that morning. The wind picked up and fluttered the overhang on the stage.
Julian climbed down and went to find Pat. He had his phone to his ear, and was nodding heartily as though the other person could see him.
“Can we still play if it rains?” he asked, interrupting.
“Sorry, one second.” Pat pressed the phone down to his shoulder. “It’s San Diego. It’s not going to rain.” He went back to his call.
“Yeah, but if it does,” Julian insisted. “It looks rough out there.” He pointed over towards the ocean.
“Christ, Julian!” Pat put the phone down again. “We’ll be fine, okay? Okay?”
“Sure,” Julian said, frowning. “Okay.”
Pat turned away, and as he left Julian saw Asher come through the back entrance to the back of the stage, as casually as if he didn’t have a show to play in five minutes. Shannon came in with him. They were both laughing.
He couldn’t help it. One second he was standing calmly with his guitar in one hand, and the next second he was shoving Asher as hard as he could. The drummer stumbled backwards, his hands raised in defense.
“What the FUCK?” Julian yelled. “You fucking asshole!”
“Easy, easy,” Asher said. “Calm down.”
“I’m not going to fucking calm down!” The crew gathered to watch, and Julian could hear the crowd at the front of the stage buzzing with noise. A black hatred rose up inside of him, and he strode forward, shoving Asher again hard. This time Asher tripped over a cable and landed hard on the ground.
“Chill, man!”
“What are you doing?” Shannon yelled
“Stand up and fight, you sorry piece of shit!” Julian reached forward and pulled Asher up bodily from the floor, smashing an open palm across his face. With so much adrenaline running through his veins, Julian couldn’t even feel the weight. Alex was trying to push through the back of the crew to get to them. Asher’s hand came up to his nose. Blood ran down one nostril over his chin.
“Dude, I’m sorry,” Asher said. His eyes were wide with fright and… confusion? Julian reached one fist back. God, it would feel good to put Asher’s teeth through his head. He wasn’t even going to defend himself, the wimp. Julian felt Shannon grab his arm and he spun around, still holding Asher at arm’s length.
“Stay out of this, you cheating bitch!”
Shannon’s mouth dropped and there was silence in the back of the stage. Julian could hear the crowd talking, unsure of what was going on to delay the concert.
“What are you talking about?” she said.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about.” He turned back to Asher, his face bleeding like it would never stop. “Are you gonna stand here and lie to me, too?”
Asher put up his hands in surrender.
“I’m sorry I’m late, man!” he said. He bent his head and wiped his face on his shoulder, sniffing as the blood clogged his nose. Alex and Daniel had pushed through and stood next to Asher. The air was thick with tension.
“Let him go, man!”
“What the hell are you doing, Julian?”
“I’m sorry, Alex,” Asher said. Blood continued to flow down onto his shirt, turning it bright red. “I’m sorry, Daniel. And Julian. God, I’m sorry. I know this show is important.”
Julian turned his gaze from Asher to Shannon. Tears were running down her cheeks.
“Did you think…” Her voice trailed off softly, and Julian realized he had made a horrible mistake. “You thought I would do that to you. With Asher?”
“With me what?” Asher said. His head swiveled from Julian to Shannon to the rest of the band. “Wait, what?”
Julian let go of Asher’s shirt. He saw Pat shoving his way through the crew.
“What on EARTH is going on here?” the manager yelled, gazing around at the band members. Blood dripped down Asher’s chin, and he looked at Julian confusedly.
“This isn’t about me being late?” he said.
At that moment the sky opened up overhead, and Julian leaned his head back to let the rain fall on his face. Pat yelled; the crew scrambled to cover all of the equipment, and Shannon tucked her shirt over her camera protectively. Daniel ran over to hug his bass to his chest. Everyone shouted orders, rolling plastic tarps over cables and covering the stage amps with black trash bags. Julian closed his eyes and let the rain trickle down his cheeks, down his chin. He could feel the coldness creeping through his body, calming his nerves and washing away the adrenaline.
When he opened his eyes again, Shannon stood in front of him. Asher had walked off, he couldn’t see where.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I messed up.”
“What was this morning?” Shannon asked, her arms crossed over her camera. She shivered, and Julian went to put his arms around her. She pulled away.
“This morning,” she repeated. “When you were so rough. It was because you thought…” Her voice trailed off.
“I’m sorry,” Julian said again. “I saw you in the bus with him. Last night.”
Shannon shook her head. “He had just broken up with that model girlfriend, and... I don’t know, I felt bad for the guy! He’s such a good guy!” She threw her hands up in the air. Julian hung his head. He knew what she meant - Asher was a good guy. Better than him, anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Julian said. “It still hurt.” It hurt even now, to look at her and imagine her in another man’s arms.
Shannon stepped closer to him, pushing her camera to the side of her hip in one graceful sweep of her hand. Her hair hung in wavy wet strands, clinging irresistibly to her neck. Her eyelids dropped softly, the lashes a dark, dark red. Lord, she was beautiful.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you would see. Even if you hadn’t, I’m sorry.” Her voice flowed slowly, carefully over the words. He looked into her eyes rimmed red by mascara and tears and saw another feeling looking back.
“You’re frightened.” He moved his arm slowly, touching her hip and trailing his hand along the curve of her waist. He stopped there, his hold on her tenuous, his guilt overwhelming.
“I’m scared,” Shannon said. Her voice whispered through the soft patter of the rain, and Julian leaned forward to hear her as she continued. “This is the first time I’ve been scared to lose you.”
“No,” Julian said. “Not that. Never that.”
“It’s what scares me the most.”
“Shannon. Oh, Shannon.” Julian clasped his arms around his girl, his girl, pulling her into a warm embrace. Her skin goosepimpled under the chill of the rain and felt tense against his skin but then he pressed his mouth to hers and every discomfort in the world was swept up in the roiling thunder of their kiss.
Cold drizzling rain pattered down, drenching them from the collar down. Bolts of electric heat flashed through Julian’s body when he felt Shannon’s hands slip around his waist. She was warm under his touch, her skin smooth like silk. Every part of him wanted to envelop her, to be with her. No doubt about it - she was the one for him. And now he felt like an idiot for letting his trust in her slip away from him.
The crowd chanted in the background, and Julian saw Shannon’s face brighten as she heard what they yelled.
“A-lex! A-lex! A-lex!”
“Sounds like the troops have rallied,” she said, a secret smirk on her face.
“What troops?” he asked. The audience had never chanted like this before. What had she done?
Pat stood on the steps, waving. “Come on!” he yelled. “Time to play! Your audience won’t wait forever!”
Julian gave Shannon one more kiss, then made his way over to the stage. Daniel waited on the steps with Pat, and both Alex and Asher came running over.
“Asher, you can’t play like that!” Pat was aghast. “Your shirt is covered in blood!”
“That’s how they know I’m hardcore,” Asher said, grinning. “I’m the only hardcore one out of all you jokers. Drummers are supposed to be hardcore.”
“I’m sorry, man,” Julian said, hanging his head. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Yeah, but I already knew that,” Asher said.
“You’re in a good mood for someone who just got his face shoved in,” Alex said, pulling his guitar strap over his head.
“I’d be happy even if a hurricane hits while we’re onstage,” Asher said. “I talked to Trixie!”
“Trixie?” Julian asked. “Opening act Trixie? From Cheap Trix?”
“Yeah, that’s what Shannon was giving me advice about last night,” Asher said.
God, of course. Julian felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry about all of this, man,” Julian said. “I should have trusted you.”
“Guys, come on,” Daniel said, motioning towards the stage. His hair dripped, matted to his head.
“Don’t worry Daniel,” Asher said. “You’ll get the girl someday.” Daniel rolled his eyes.
“You hear my fans calling?” Alex said as they walked up the steps to a surge of screams and applause. He leaned over to Julian. “This is all your girl.”
“What did she do?” Julian asked, but Alex just shook his head and beamed. Then they were out on stage and Alex raised one hand over his head into the rain. The audience went wild. A thousand camera flashes went off, and the sound of the crowd’s roar was deafening. Despite the storm and the cold and the delay, the audience thrashed with energy, pulsing toward the stage with eager anticipation.
As the sound ebbed, Alex nodded back at Asher. The drummer raised his sticks above his head - with all the blood running down his chin, he really did look hardcore - and counted out the opening beats.
“One-two-three-four!”
Then the music filled the stage, crashing through the air, and all was right with the world.
CHAPTER FIVE
Shannon stood backstage with the band manager, listening to the show. As the final song wound down, so too did the downpour. Soon the air filled with a light mist that only hinted at the earlier rains. An electric energy ran through the air above the crowd and over the stage.
Julian ran down the stairs and swept Shannon upward with his embrace, hugging her so tightly that her toes barely touched the ground. His strong arms built a home around her body, a sturdy frame that she could trust. That she could depend on.”
“Did you hear that?” he said.
“You played perfectly!”
“We played really well! The crowd was great!”
Asher tumbled down the stairs, pumping his fists.
“Best. Show. Ever!”
Even Daniel’s eyes crinkled with approval as he suppressed a grin.
Alex came over to Shannon, Pat trailing behind him.
“This show kicked ass,” he said to Shannon. “Thanks to you.” A slight blush peeked out through Shannon’s collar.
“What on earth did you do?” Julian said.
“She and Pat came up with the idea of a photo essay press release,” Alex said. “Of the band.”
“Focusing on Alex, of course,” Shannon said. “And what he means to Wilder Side.” She held out her phone for him to look through the photos. One showed Alex by himself, leaning against the dressing room counter and practicing guitar. The mirror behind him showed his well-lit back, which became the focal point of the photograph. Another showed a silhouetted image of the band on stage, Alex raising his arms over the crowd, their arms waving in the air like so many cattails on the dunes. The other members of the band featured prominently in the photos: Asher standing on his skateboard in the tour bus van, using Alex’s foot like a doorstop to keep from rolling. Daniel and Julian practicing together with Alex in the middle, listening, an intent expression of thought on his face.
“You got a huge crowd out there today,” Pat said. “Wave Records just called and said they want to continue the tour as planned.”
“Europe! Fuck yeah!” Asher pumped his drumsticks over his head.
“We’re going to tour overseas?” Daniel’s eyes glassed over with excitement. “Really? We’re really going to tour?”
“Incredible,” Julian said, leaning over to crush a sloppy kiss onto Shannon’s forehead. “Just incredible.”
The band moved off toward their dressing rooms, but Julian stayed back.
“I’m glad you’re all getting through this together,” Shannon said. “It’s wonderful.”
The crowd grew louder in the background, and then their voices resolved into another chant, this one different.
“En-core! En-core!”
Shannon looked over to see the band members turning back to the stage. Alex waved to Julian to come over.
Julian clasped Shannon’s hands in his, and she looked up at him, his head haloed by the stage’s purple lights.
“Come with us!” he said.
“What?” Shannon couldn’t have heard right.
“Come to Paris with me!” Julian’s face glowed. “I love you!”
Shannon took a breath but did not feel her lungs fill. Everything seemed to slow to a near-stop, and she thought that her heart might never beat again.
“I love you too.” The whisper of air over her lips could not express how much he meant to her, how much she wanted to be with him.
Before tearing himself away to the stage, he bent his head down one more time. His lips brushed hers lightly and as he rose again he whispered something in her hear.
Shannon watched him ascend the stage stairs to booming applause. She felt her heart grow warmer, more buoyant, until she floated so far over the world that she could not even feel the chill of the evening. And later that night, the word he whispered to her would echo in her sleep, and she would smile as she dreamed, hearing his voice:
“Mine.”
Outline:
what the fuck is the conflict between Julian and Shannon
they go shopping
. He Takes her to a fancy restaurant. They get into a fight after she doesn't want to eat a pastry, while they are meeting with one of the club owners in Paris. The club owner insults her and Julian doesn't stand up for her. He doesn't realize that it's about her weight.
They go to a personal trainer and do sexy training stuff at the gym. Sexy time.
At the show that night, Julian and Alex sing a song together.
She looked out over the city. They called it the city of lights, and now she understood why. The glittering jewel that was Paris spread across the horizon, darkened only by the slow winding curves of the Seine.
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Here’s a taste of the next book in the series, Big Girl Playing in Paris:
Julian reached up and brushed a lock of red hair behind her ear. His fingers tickled slightly, and she winced.
“Shannon, there is nobody I’d rather be with than you. But you said yourself that this was an important semester.”
It was true. Shannon had a big photography project due to her advisor by the end of the semester, the beginning of her senior thesis to outline, and a ton of other stuff to get done. But now Julian was going to be in Europe on tour with Wilder Side, her roommate Brynn was leaving to go to an internship in Budapest. Shannon had never felt so alone in her life. So abandoned.
“I don’t want you to go without me,” she said, tears spilling over her dark red lashes. “I don’t want to be apart.”
“We’ll still be touring when you go on break,” Julian said. “I’ll buy you tickets to fly out then. It’s not that long to wait.”
“It’s long enoug
h.” Shannon knew Julian was right, but she didn’t have to like it.
“Then we’ll just have to make the most of our time before I leave.” Julian kissed the side of her neck and slid one hand along the bottom edge of her skirt, sending a thrill of excitement down Shannon’s body. God, he was incredibly sexy. She pretended to resist, leaning away as he moved to kiss her again.
“Oh, so it’s like that, huh?” Julian teased.
“Maybe,” Shannon said.
“Maybe I’ll just have to tie you up and take you anyway I want,” Julian said. A wide grin spread over his face. How could she be mad at him when he looked at her with such desire in his eyes?
“Maybe,” she said, wiggling happily as he clasped one arm tightly around her waist.
“Fine, then,” Julian said. He swept the suitcase to the floor with his free arm, sending her clothes flying everywhere.
“Julian!”
“Shannon!”
Shannon could only gasp as his strong arms picked her up and threw her bodily across the bed. She rolled to one side but he pinned her shoulders down with his hands.
“Julian!”
“Sorry, you asked for it.” He kissed her throat, tickling the base of her neck with his breath. Tremors ran through her body and she felt herself become instantly wet as he darted his tongue out to her skin. Oh god.
Julian touched her like no other man had ever touched her before. His hands possessed her, claimed her, moved her in a way she hadn’t even imagined could be possible. Even a light stroke of his fingers along her thigh sent her into a dizziness that took her a half hour to overcome. And now he was moving his mouth along her collarbone, his teeth gently biting down on her skin, then retreating. It was too much for her body to handle.
“Julian, please,” she said.
“That’s a good girl,” he whispered in her ear.
***
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