Cocky Bastard

by Penelope Ward

  I sat in my truck for two hours outside of her office, even though I promised I’d give her space. I just needed to see she was okay for myself. My head was pounding, and I shifted my seat back, ready to close my eyes for a few minutes. But a flash of green caught my attention right before my lids shut. Aubrey was standing in front of her building carrying her briefcase. She slipped on sunglasses, looked down and walked across the street. Unlike most days, she wasn’t checking her phone or walking with an energetic bounce. Instead, her posture looked defeated, and her walk was more of a trudge. A minute after she disappeared into the lot where she parked her car, I watched her Audi pull out and turn toward home.

  Surprising even myself, I didn’t follow her.

  Instead, I decided to refocus my energy. Being prepared for a fight meant getting to know your opponent. It was about time I got to know a little more about Dick.

  At nearly seven, my adversary made an appearance. He rushed to his BMW and took off in the other direction of Aubrey’s place. I cut a quick u-turn and followed. The princess fucker took me on a nearly half-hour drive before exiting the highway. I wasn’t familiar with this part of California, but it didn’t take a geography expert to know we were in a less than idyllic neighborhood.

  There were the obvious visible signs—buildings with broken and boarded up windows, graffiti, messy yards, timeworn cars that looked abandoned. The few commercial buildings that held stores, had bars covering the doors and windows. A very visible police car was parked at the corner of a four-way intersection.

  Where the fuck did Dick live?

  I followed a half-block behind, careful not to call attention to my pickup. He weaved in and out of side streets that made me want to lock my doors. Eventually, he slowed and pulled to the curb. I parked on the opposite side of the street, five or so cars back. If I was going to keep up with this shit, I really needed some fucking binoculars. Dick reached into the back of his car, pulled out a bag, and proceeded to start changing his clothes right there in the front seat of the car.

  What the fuck was he doing?

  The street we parked on was lined with dilapidated muti-family housing. A half-dozen bandana clad guys hung around on a stoop nearby. I was pretty sure I’d just left a couple of them behind at the state penitentiary. Dick got out, looked around skittishly, and headed to one of the rundown buildings. He disappeared down a set of concrete stairs that looked like it led to a basement entrance.

  A few minutes later, another man headed to the same door. This guy had a long, matted beard and wore a wool cap and heavy army jacket, even though it was still close to eighty-five degrees. He was also scratching his face incessantly and looking around frantically as he walked.

  Dick was in a crack den? The day was getting a lot more interesting.

  After spending two years in a prison full of criminals, I was anxious to get the fuck out of there as night fell. The neighborhood that had seemed desolate was suddenly starting to come alive—with people who didn’t go out until they could hide in the shadows of darkness.

  But I waited. If Dick could be out here, so could I. More than an hour passed before the Princess Fucker jogged up the stairs and onto the street. With a brown paper bag in his hand, he wasted no time getting in his car. His fancy ride pulled away as soon as his door was shut.

  I didn’t follow him.

  Curiosity had gotten the best of me and before I knew it, I was locking my truck. I hadn’t planned what I was going to do once I got to the door—buying a vile of crack as evidence to show Aubrey that Dick was a dick, probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I would have to settle for understanding what I was up against and worry about what to do with the information later.

  The stairwell was narrow, with only a few steps leading to a closed door. When I got to the bottom, I found the door was actually left a crack open. There was also music coming from inside. I edged it open. At first, a little. Then a little bit more. Until the door suddenly swung open, and I nearly fell into the building.

  I looked up expecting to find a gun to my head for breaking into a crack house. But what I found couldn’t have been more different. A priest was holding open the door and extended his hand into the room behind him, welcoming me.

  “Come in. Ladels of Love is happy to feed you this evening.”

  It took a minute to realize what I’d just walked into. A soup kitchen. The Princess Fucker wasn’t buying crack; he was feeding the indigent.

  Fuck me.

  I was definitely going to need to up my game.

  Chapter Twenty

  It seemed Aubrey and Dick were quite the pair of philanthropists.

  Sitting in my truck on Jefferson a few days later, I opened the local newspaper, and smack dab in the middle of the community section was Aubrey’s beautiful smile along with an article about a new animal shelter that had just opened up.

  Local attorneys Aubrey Bloom and Richard Kline of Sherman, Kline and Lefave, LLP attend the grand opening of the Park Street Animal Shelter. Kline and Bloom, a member of the Park Street board of directors, helped raise over five-hundred-thousand dollars to support the shelter’s new facility.

  At the end of the article, there was a phone number for the shelter. I immediately dialed it.

  A girl answered, “Park Street Animal Shelter?”

  “Hi, I was wondering if you’re looking for any volunteers?”

  “Actually, yes, sir. We are in dire need of dog walkers. Is that something you might be interested in?”

  “Absolutely. I could come by this afternoon.”

  “We’ll have you fill out some paperwork we need to process, so you may not be able to start until later in the week.”

  “That’s fine. I can’t wait to help.”

  Take that, Princess Fucker.

  Stalker, landscaper, goat sitter…add dog walker to the list of new occupations held by Chance Bateman during my stay in Temecula.

  The daily routine now consisted of having virtual Starbucks breakfast with Aubrey, hitting the gym, landscaping (aka Pixy time), followed by late afternoon strolls with anywhere from three to five dogs at once. For someone without a real job, I was busier and in better shape than ever before in my life.

  One Friday afternoon, I was at a park walking a Great Dane, a German Shepherd mix and a Greyhound when a text from Aubrey came in.

  Aubrey: Received your new contract today. They need you to sign it this afternoon so they can meet a production deadline.

  Trying to control all three barking dogs with one hand, I used my phone’s voice to text feature to respond.

  Chance: I’m dog walking at Slater Park. I can come there right after.

  Aubrey: Dog walking?

  I knew that would pique her interest. As a matter of fact, I was banking on it. This was perfect timing to let her know about my newest venture.

  Chance: I’ve been volunteering for your shelter. I saw the article. I know that place means a lot to you. Wanted to help.

  Aubrey: Are you serious?

  Chance: I’ll come by the office around 5:00 after I walk them back?

  Aubrey: I have plans tonight, so I have to leave the office by then. Why don’t I just stop by the park now and have you sign it really quick?

  Chance: Where should I meet you?

  Aubrey: By the concession stand at the entrance around 4:15.

  Chance: See u then.

  Perfect.

  If I were being honest, the dogs were really walking me. I let them lead me to wherever they wanted to go. I’d pick up their turds with pink plastic bags provided by the shelter and dump the crap into the public trash.

  The things I do for you, Aubrey Bloom.

  When it was time to meet Aubrey, reigning the dogs in became a necessity. “Hold your horses, guys. Let’s go this way.” The two bigger ones really were more like horses than dogs anyway.

  I stopped when I spotted her. She didn’t see me at first. Aubrey was standing alone with a manila folder tucked under her arm,
eating an ice cream cone. My mouth watered as my eyes followed the movement of her tongue sliding along the ice cream. The sunlight caught the natural red highlights in her hair. A light breeze blew her skirt up teasingly. I missed those legs.

  Actually, I missed those legs wrapped around my back while I was buried deep inside of her.

  My dick twitched at the thought. The dogs weren’t happy about having to abruptly stop so that I could gaze at her. They retaliated by suddenly charging toward where she was standing, dragging me behind them.

  Aubrey erupted in laughter when she saw me struggling to contain the three barking beasts.

  “You’ve got your hands full.” She smiled

  All of this was worth it just to earn a genuine smile from her, which was rare lately. She had some ice cream on her bottom lip, and I yearned to suck it off. It seemed the dogs were just as enamored with Aubrey as I was. They started jumping all over her. The Dane snuck some of her ice cream cone. It was covered in slobber, so she let him have the rest. Aubrey seemed to be eating the attention up, though, letting the three of them practically trample her and lick her face. The Shepherd looked like he was about to hump her leg.

  Dogs got away with murder.

  I’d never wanted to be one so badly in my life.

  Tightening my grip on the leashes, I said, “Guys, pipe down. Give poor Aubrey some space.”

  “Interesting advice coming from you, Mr. Bastardo.”

  “At least I haven’t tried to lick you.” I wiggled my brows. “I’ve thought about it. “

  “You have, have you?”

  “Yup. Just now, actually. But I can restrain myself when I want to. That’s a brownie point in my corner, eh?” I winked.

  “Well, congratulations for not acting like an animal.”

  “It’s not easy sometimes, because I know what I’m missing, seeing as though I’ve already sampled your kibbles n’ bits.”

  Shaking her head, she said, “You’re crass.”

  “You like it.”

  “No, I don’t.” She rolled her eyes, but the expression on her face was one of amusement.

  There was my dirty girl.

  She opened the folder and grabbed a pen from her purse. “We should have you sign your contract. I reviewed it carefully. It includes everything we requested, no surprises, but feel free to look it over before signing.”

  Scribbling my signature at the bottom as quickly as I could and handing her back the pen, I said, “No need. I trust you completely.” Looking straight into her eyes, I added, “I doubt you can say the same about me, but I’m working on that.”

  She seemed to shut down. “You’re right. I can’t say the same.” She tucked the folder back under her arm. “I better get going. I have to be somewhere.”

  “You have a date with the Dickster?”

  “Stop calling him that. For the last time, his name is Richard.”

  My tone turned serious. “Come on, Princess. I’m just kidding about all of it…your bits…Dick…everything. You know my sense of humor. You used to like it.”

  “Really? I did? Funny, because I don’t remember much that happened before waking up sore between my legs and finding you gone.”

  Fuck.

  It felt like she punched me in the gut.

  When will this ever get easier?

  I took a step toward her. “We need to talk more about what happened. I—”

  “I really do have to go,” Aubrey said, looking down at her watch and backing away.

  The dogs were getting antsy and pulling me in the direction of a couple of small Yorkshire Terriers that were running around on the loose. I yelled at them, “Shit! Slow down.”

  Some wingmen they were.

  By the time I turned around again, my girl was gone.

  After that fiasco, I went straight to the bar and unloaded the whole story onto Carla Babes.

  Pouring me a second drink, she shook her head. “You wanna know what I think? She’s just as bad as you.”

  “Clarify that statement.”

  “You’re both playing games.”

  I swirled my drink around in the glass. “Well, if it’s a game, the fun is starting to wear off.”

  “She’s pretending she doesn’t want you here, yet she’s been caught stalking you herself. If she really wanted nothing to do with you, she would have never taken your case. She could have told her boyfriend the truth, and he would have kicked you to the curb so fast, client or not. She’s hiding you from him because she still has feelings for you and doesn’t want him to know. Are you blind, Aussie?”

  My heart beat faster, filling with renewed hope. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “You need to put a stop to this cat and mouse game. Find out what her intentions are. You’re a good guy, Chance. I know you hurt her pretty badly, but you’re hurt, too. She needs to know that. Stop pretending you’re okay with all of this.”

  “What do you suggest?”

  “Cut the patient hero act. How many bushes can you possibly plant, Mr. Green Thumb? It’s not helping anything. What you really need is to plant yourself in her bush! Stop wasting time, and tell her what you want.”

  I cackled. “Forget about green thumb. I think I have a numb green cock at this point.”

  “The Green Giant,” she quipped.

  I chimed in, “Shrek.”

  We were both cracking up. When the laughter subsided, I looked up at her—my sounding board. Her friendship really did mean a lot to me. “What would I do without you, Carla Babes?”

  She seemed to blush at my comment. That was unlike her.

  Clearing her throat, she leaned her hands against the counter. “Look, in all seriousness, you need to go to her tonight. Tell her how you feel without all of the bullshit. Make sure she knows you’re not going to be around forever. Time is precious. There are plenty of other women who would love the opportunity to make you happy if she doesn’t care to.”

  For a split second, the look in her eyes made me wonder if she was referring to herself.

  I took the remainder of that weekend off from stalking Aubrey. It was the first time an entire day had gone by where I hadn’t at least gotten one glimpse of her. But I really needed time alone to think without the deterrent of her beautiful face and succulent ass.

  While the last talk with Carla had boosted my confidence, the more time I spent alone, the more doubt started to creep in.

  That Sunday, I spent a good chunk of the day at the laundromat. Watching my clothes spin round and round in the dryer helped me meditate and reflect on everything.

  As much as I’d always said that I’d stick around town as long as it took, I wasn’t willing to do that if Aubrey had already written me off. If her intention was to stay with Dick come hell or high water, then I really needed to know. It was one thing to get her to forgive me. It was another to get her to forgive me AND give me another chance, leaving a guy that supposedly made her happy and was there for her when I wasn’t.

  I’d decided that tomorrow night after Aubrey got home from work, I’d try to get my answer once and for all.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I skipped the Monday morning breakfast routine on Jefferson and went straight to Aubrey’s house instead. Today would be a longer day, putting the finishing touches on Pixy’s pen and making sure that everything was in order in the event that things didn’t turn out in my favor tonight.

  I stopped for two of the goat’s favorite burritos—sans the corn—and brought lunch over to the window.

  Watching him gobble them in just a few bites, I scratched his head. “Listen, I have to tell you something important.”

  He was too busy licking the burrito wrapper to look up at me.

  “I need you to know that if I go away, it’s not because of you. Alright?”

  “Baa.”

  “I want nothing more than to see you every day and for the three of us to be together. I just don’t know anymore if that’s going to be possible. If it’s not, I h
ave to go away again. Because it will make me too sad to stay.”

  He looked at me with his droopy eyes. Even though he was supposedly blind, sometimes I swore he could see me.

  “I promise if that happens, I’ll never forget you, Bugger, okay?”

  Pixy rested his chin in my hand, and I did something I never had before. Reaching down, I kissed his forehead. It wasn’t the type of kiss I was hoping for in Temecula, but it was the next best thing. He was the official mascot of my time with Aubrey, always at the center of the good memories that we shared. I’d never forget him. I took a selfie of us. Now I could cross “kiss a goat” off my bucket list.

  The rest of the afternoon, I went in search of princess flowers. I didn’t want to steal them off the bush I’d planted, so I needed to find a florist who carried them. I was finally able to snag a bouquet and took it back to my motel.

  I showered, put on dark jeans and a fitted black shirt and splashed on some cologne. Needing to look and smell my best tonight was going to be important. I decided against calling Aubrey first. I didn’t want her to try to talk me out of coming over. So, showing up at her door tonight would be a gamble.

  It was a clear evening. The lights from inside her bungalow lit up the otherwise dark street.

  She was home.

  I was home.

  With my heart racing, I parked my truck around the corner and sat there for at least twenty minutes rehearsing what I was going to say. Someone came out of the house I was parked in front of.

  The woman was wiggling her ass with her tits hanging out as she approached my truck in a flimsy nightgown and slippers. When I saw the cast on her hand, I remembered it was Aubrey’s slutty neighbor, Philomena. Now, it seemed she had a cast on her leg as well. What the fuck? This chick was a hot mess.

  “Hey, handsome. I saw your truck out here.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t realize you lived here. I shouldn’t have parked right in front of your house.”

  “Are you kidding? I got all excited, thought maybe you had decided you wanted to mow me after all.”