by Gen Griffin
I caught hold of his arm and tugged him back to my side. I reached out and touched his face before he could close himself off from me completely. There was hurt in his good eye and I hated myself for putting it there. My fingertips brushed across the wound in his jaw. “Seth, please.”
He stood perfectly still. I pressed my entire palm against his cheek, covering the damaged place on his jaw. I traced the scar that cut from his scalp to his cheekbone. The scar from the wound that that blinded him. The scar from the wound that had revealed that he was infected with the zombie virus. That he was Changed.
“You kissed Drake.” The words were angry and bitter. “The very first time I ever saw you, you were kissing Drake. Why won't you kiss me, Pilar? Why don't you want me?”
I blinked back tears. “I don't want you like this.”
“Like this?” He scowled at me and started to step away from me again.
“No, please. Listen to me. Please.” I brushed a long strand of black hair back from his eyes. “Please, Seth. Hear me out.”
“Talk.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Give me a reason not to walk away, Pilar. Give me a reason to keep asking you to be by my side when you clearly don't want to be.”
“I want-.” I took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to put my feelings into words. I decided to take a different approach. “You're right. I kissed Drake. I was scared and lonely. It was the night before what promised to be a terrifying adventure. I didn't know if I was going to live or die. Drake kissed me and I let him. I thought I knew him. I thought I loved him. In reality, I knew nothing about him.”
“You know me,” Seth pointed out. “I have my flaws, I won't lie and say I don't, but you know me. Good, bad or indifferent, Pilar, I've hidden nothing from you. You've seen the ugliest parts of me. You've seen the best and the worst that I have to offer. I'm not Drake.”
“I know you're not Drake,” I said. “Why do you think I want things to be different between us?”
“Different between us?” Seth scowled at me. “Everything between us is different.”
“I want to cling to you, Seth. I want to close my eyes, lay my head against your chest and spend the night listening to your heart beat. I want to give in to you. I want to follow you blindly wherever it is you want to go, be it back to the Church or across the countryside to the ocean.”
The anger faded from his eyes. He frowned at me questioningly. “If that's how you feel, then why don't you?”
“Because I'm not a coward, Seth. You and I don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of very important issues. If I let myself go to you now then I can't guarantee I won't let you talk me into walking away from the very people I want to save. If I follow you blindly, follow you the way I followed Drake, then I can't guarantee I won't betray myself again. ”
“Betray yourself again?” Seth asked.
“I could have stopped Drake from killing innocent people, if only I had trusted my own instincts and stood up to him.” I was losing my battle against the tears that were filling my eyes. “How many people did he kill because I was too blinded by my own desire to be wanted by him?”
“Not many, Pilar. You figured him out pretty fast. I was there, remember?” It was Seth's turn to touch my cheek and mine to look away.
“Cya died because I didn't stand up to Drake. I let him kill her.”
“As I recall, you nearly died the same day.”
“You saved me.” I closed my eyes as the tears came.
Seth wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. I didn't have the will to pull away from him this time. “I'm trying to be the hero, Pilar. Really, I am. It's who you want me to be.”
“I need you to be the hero,” I whispered into the tough leather of his jacket. “And after this is over, after we save the people and hand the Church of Chaos off to Vera and Gauge, then we can go to the ocean and I'll be your girl. If you still want me.”
Seth stroked one hand gently through my frizzy curls. “I'll always want you, Pilar. We're destined for each other. The prophecies are pretty clear on that part.”
“Then you'll wait?” I had tears running down my face as I looked up at him. “You won't be mad at me for not kissing you tonight?”
“You've been not kissing me for months,” Seth said with a soft, ironic laugh. “I suppose I can deal with you not kissing me for another couple of weeks. One thing though.”
“What?” I asked.
He brushed my tears away with the pad of his thumb. “If I die before I get my kiss, promise me you'll go to the ocean anyways. Promise me that you won't let the Church or the zombies take over your life. I want you to live. Regardless of how badly tomorrow goes, I want you to live.”
I buried my face in his chest, but I didn't answer him. I wasn't about to make a promise that I didn't have the strength to keep. Life was difficult at Seth's side, but I didn't know if it would be worth living without him.
Chapter 5
Morning came entirely too early. I woke up with a head that was still aching and groggy from crying. I'd spent the night sleeping in the leaves with my head in Seth's lap. I didn't think he'd slept at all. He'd been awake when I dozed off and I'd woken up to the sound of him giving orders to Gauge.
My legs and back were stiff as I pulled away from him and sat up. Dread sat in my stomach like a lead weight. Even as we dressed ourselves for battle, the overwhelming feeling was that we were too late. If Seth was right about what Bud had done, then everyone in the Cube was already past saving.
I desperately wanted to avoid going into the Cube. Seth's plan to blow the Cube into little bits of rubble sounded perfectly reasonable in the dingy gray light of an overcast, foggy morning. We don't have to go inside, a little voice in my head whispered.
Except my Dad was inside.
My Dad was never going to have his bravery acknowledged. He wasn't at the center of any prophecies. He wasn't the little man's hero, the leader of the Scavengers or the High Priest of the Church of Chaos. He wasn't a legend. No one heard the name 'George Augustus' and reacted in awe.
He was the bravest man I knew. Ignorant of the flesh brokers, he'd escaped the meat market on his own. He'd been free in the city of Ra Shet. He could have cut his losses and moved on with his life. Instead, he'd gone back to the Cube.
He'd gone back because of me. He hadn't known about my joining the Scavengers. He had no way of knowing that I would also find my way to Ra Shet. He'd thought I was alone and scared in the Cube. He'd thought I was at the mercy of flesh brokers.
He'd gone back to the Cube for me.
I wasn't a coward. Regardless of whether it was the smart or safe thing to do, I was going back into the Cube to find my Dad.
“I want all of you to remember that we truly don't know what we're walking into.” Seth was standing in front of our small group and giving what amounted to the worst pep talk in human or zombie history. “It's entirely possible that every single person in the Cube is already a super zombie. We have no way of knowing whether Bud has had them all infected yet or not.”
“Not without going inside the Cube, you mean?” Someone asked.
“Even then, no guarantee we'll be able to tell. Drake was a super zombie for weeks and I had no idea. I didn't even suspect he might be turning.” Seth pursed his lips in an unhappy frown.
“How are we supposed to tell the zombies from the survivors?”
“I don't know,” Seth admitted. “Gauge has suggested we quarantine potential survivors until we're certain they aren't infected.”
“Will that work?”
Seth sighed. “I don't see any reason why it wouldn't.”
“We brought a rocket launcher. We have enough explosives to blow the Cube sky high and leave a big ass crater in the dirt where it used to sit,” Angel said. He was one of the more devout members of the Church of Chaos and he normally worshiped Seth like a God. I was surprised to hear him questioning Seth's judgment. “I've heard what Bud's zombie serum did to Drake and Pilar's
mother. I don't need any more evidence to condemn the Powers That Be to death. Why don't we just use our weapons and hope for the best?”
“Because of all the innocent people who would die with the zombies.” I focused my full attention on the people who were supposed to be helping me save the lives of everyone inside the Cube.
“Cost of doing business?” Someone else quipped. Seth had made a point of introducing me to all the members of the Church of Chaos who would be accompanying us into the Cube, but there had been too many of them and I couldn't remember most of their faces, let alone names.
“Not acceptable.” I gritted my teeth together. “We have to try to save them. We can't just kill people without trying to save them first.”
“And if trying to save them gets us killed? Or worse, gets us killed and then gets thousands of other people killed because Bud loosed super zombies on the world?” Angel eyed me skeptically. “You act like we can just walk into the Cube, give some kind of epic speech and all the people will just follow our lead and rebel against the Powers That Be. It won't be that simple.”
“I never said it would be simple. Just because its hard doesn't mean that its not the right thing to do.” I threw my hands up into the air. “People I love are inside that building. My dad might be inside that building. You can't just blow it up. You have to give me a chance to save anyone who wants to be saved.”
“I think its a mistake,” Angel said. “What if we accidentally save people who have already been infected?”
“We'll deal with it,” I said.
“How?”
“We'll...” My mind flashed back to the moment when Seth had driven his blade through my mother's neck. “You know what will happen.”
“We'll kill them. All that risk to save them and then we'll have to kill them anyways. Doesn't that seem a little pointless to anyone else?”
“Not if they're not infected yet.” Support came from an unexpected corner as Liam joined us, dressed head to toe in bones and looking like a slightly taller, slightly warmer version of Seth. He was one of Seth's favorite Church members. He was also a former Scavenger. Like me, he'd started his life in the Cube.
“Pilar isn't the only one of us who still has family and loved ones in the Cube, Angel. I, for one, will not be happy if you bomb the Cube off the face of the earth without giving me the chance to see if I can get my sister and her family out.”
“You haven't been back inside the Cube in more than five years. How do you know your sister is still alive?” Angel asked.
“How do you know she isn't?” Liam countered. “We don't know anything about current conditions in the Cube.”
“No. We don't,” Seth cut into the discussion before it could get any further out of hand. “Which is why we're going in before we take drastic measures. No one is suggesting that we take on seven thousand super zombies one at a time in hand to hand combat. If we go in and the place is crawling with zombies, we'll leave. Pilar and I have both agreed that if the situation is too dangerous, we'll back out and let you start blowing shit up.”
“I just think its stupid to go inside at all,” Vera said.
“I think you're scared,” Liam told her.
“What?” Vera's blue eyes flashed with temper.
Even I had to do a double-take. Vera was a lot of things, but I didn't think I'd ever considered the possibility that she was scared.
“You don't want to go inside the Cube. You're afraid of being eaten alive by super zombies. Now that you're not immune to zombies, you're not nearly as brave you were,” Liam's words were laced with acid.
“Being eaten for a bad cause just isn't my idea of fun.” Vera fluffed her long black hair as if she didn't have a care in the world.
“You're the only one who thinks saving the people inside the Cube is a bad cause,” Liam snapped. He waved his hands dismissively at her. “Seth has already said that going into the Cube is a voluntary mission. No one has to go.”
“I don't care what the rest of you do, but I'm going to obey my High Priest.” A bulky, stocky girl with long brown hair had joined us. Her name was Dawn and she was my least favorite out of Seth's inner circle of followers.
“Good for you,” Liam snapped.
“You haven't been ordered to go into the Cube. None of you have,” Seth said flatly. He was looking at Dawn, not me.
“I would never leave you when you needed me.” Dawn batted her eyelashes up at him. Dawn adored Seth but he treated her no differently than he treated Liam or Gauge. “I just can't stand to see everyone arguing with the word of our High Priest. When you speak, your words are directly from God. Everyone here, especially Vera and Angel, should be ashamed of themselves for questioning you. If the High Priest says we should enter the Cube, then that is what we must do.”
Gauge rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth and then seemed to think better about saying whatever he wanted to say.
“Remind me again why we brought her?” Angel asked, jerking his thumb in Dawn's direction. I wasn't the only person who didn't see the appeal in Dawn.
“She's got a real talent with explosives and she follows orders well,” Seth said. “Unlike the rest of you.”
“Screw you. You are so not a god.” Gauge eyed Dawn as if she were some kind of bizarre bug that had unexpectedly crawled out of its hole.
“Don't make me smite you.” Seth's amusement was obvious, despite his otherwise dreary mood on this miserable morning.
“I'd love to see you try.”
Seth reached for his broadsword. “I can smite you anytime, anyplace.”
Gauge nearly smiled. “If I beat you in a fair fight, does that make me a god too?”
“Absolutely not,” Dawn squealed angrily. She glared at Gauge.
“Maybe.” Seth looked thoughtful. I couldn't help remembering his plan of making Gauge the new High Priest. I wondered what Dawn would think of that?
“Can we focus on the problem at hand?” I tried to bring the conversation back onto topic. “If we're going into the Cube today, then we're wasting precious daylight.”
“I will go as soon as the High Priest orders me to,” Dawn said.
Seth sighed loudly and slid his sword back into its sheath. “Yeah, about that. You're not going into the Cube. Neither is Angel.”
Angel's dark eyes sparked with interest. “You're leaving me behind?”
“You aren't taking all of us?” Dawn didn't even try to hide her obvious relief.
“I'd prefer not to take anyone inside,” Seth said flatly. “But Pilar and Liam have already made their feelings on that plan clear. I'm not a coward, but I prefer to minimize the number of casualties on our side.”
“No one should have to die to save the sheeple unless they choose to?” Vera smirked at him.
“Don't call them that,” I snapped. My cheeks flushed with a fresh, hot rush of anger. “They're people, not sheep. They're not stupid. They just don't know any better than what the Powers that Be have spent the last 30 years teaching them. They deserve to know what is going on. They deserve a chance at life.”
“Easy, Pi. You know she's just trying to get under your skin.” Seth put one hand on my shoulder and then fixed his one-eyed gaze hard onto his beautiful sister. “They're people. Good, normal people who may or may not be turning into zombies.”
Vera rolled her eyes at him.
Seth stretched his shoulders and then flexed his arms. I heard something in his back pop. “My point was that we're not bringing everyone inside the Cube with us. I want to leave a few people outside to handle damage control if the super zombies eat us.”
Dawn blinked at him. “Surely, no zombie could truly harm the High Priest of the Church of Chaos.”
“On the off chance we all die inside the Cube,” Seth drawled the words out. “Dawn, your job is to blow the damn place off the grid. Make sure there are no survivors.”
“How will I know something has gone wrong?” Dawn was suddenly all business.
“Give us 24
hours. We're leaving now. If we aren't back by sunrise, do what you do best. Destroy the Cube. Angel can help you.”
“Can Roggerio stay behind as well?” Dawn asked.
Seth frowned. Roggerio was another one of Seth's people and a strong fighter. I knew that Seth had chosen to bring him with us because he felt Roggerio's zombie slaying skills would help make up for my lack of the same. “Why do you want him?”
“To prevent any survivors from escaping after our initial attack,” Dawn replied. “I assume you don't want to risk any of the zombies slipping past us or eating me before I can finish destroying the Cube. We don't have enough explosives for me to take down the entire building at once. It will have to be done in sections.”
Seth nodded. “Valid reasoning. You can keep Roggerio with you.”
Dawn smiled. “Thank you.”
“The rest of us will go in. Unless you want to stay behind?” Seth was looking pointedly at Gauge.
“And let you have all the fun?” Gauge shook his head at Seth. “Nah. I'd go crazy sitting out here all day.”
Seth smiled at Gauge. “Then its settled.”
“Great.” I scowled at all of them the wind blew several strands of my curly brown hair into my eyes. “Can we go now?”
Seth reached for the stray bits of hair and carefully brushed them back behind my ears. “Don't look so worried, Pilar. The prophesies are on our side.” His words were barely above a whisper and meant for me only.
“You don't even fully believe in the prophesies,” I reminded him.
“I believe more now than I did six months ago. I believe more now than I did before I saw you control zombies with your voice.” He pulled me into his chest and looked down at me. Our eyes met and held. His good eye was bright and shining and, beneath the cold confidence, was the slightest bit of fear. “I believe in you.”
Standing with him in the chilly fog of the early morning, I felt lost in the mixture of hope and horror that accompanied his words.
Chapter 6
A man's body was lying at the bottom of the ventilation shaft that we were using to break into the Cube. From the look of him, he'd been there awhile. The corpse was severely bloated and the skin had turned an odd shade of purplish-green. Both eyes were bugging out of their sockets. The smell of decaying flesh was almost overwhelming as my boots hit the concrete basement floor. It took all of my self-restraint to avoid barfing.