by Gen Griffin
“Survival of the smartest and most cunning,” I muttered as I adjusted my grip on the knife.
The girl who I'd been two months ago wouldn't have forced herself to walk back to the incinerator chute. She wouldn't have climbed up onto the slight ledge on the wall. She wouldn't have waited quietly in the cold late afternoon breeze for Jeb to come tumbling out into the light.
But I did.
I sat silent and bleeding on the wall. I listened to the bangs, thumps and angry curses as Jeb worked his way down the chute. I stood knee deep in ash over him as he fell down into the bright sunlight, temporarily blinded.
I drove eight inches of knife straight through the back of his neck.
Blood squirted everywhere as the tip of the blade came through the front of Jeb's throat. It took everything I had not to let go of the hilt of the knife. Seth had told me that if I wanted to kill a human being and make sure they wouldn't turn around five minutes later and attack me as a zombie, then I needed to take their heads.
Taking Jeb's head would have been easier with the sword. The knife was sharp, but it kept catching on the bones and muscle in the neck as I yanked it towards the surface of Jeb's skin. He struggled in vain as I straddled his back and finally managed to saw through his spinal cord. His blood mixed with the ash below us as he died.
I threw up twice before it was over. His eyes were still open and seemed to look at me with horror as I finished my grotesque task. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I kicked Jeb's head away from his body.
It took everything I had to stumble away from the incinerator. As I made my way to the crumbling exterior wall and began to painstakingly climb over the damaged bricks, I realized that it wouldn't matter how far I ran. I'd been bitten by a zombie. I was infected with the zombie virus.
It didn't matter that I had successfully killed Jeb because I was going to die.
I stumbled down the far side of the decaying wall and into the clearing that separated the woods from the Cube. Our camp, Seth's camp, was on the opposite side of the Cube from where I was now standing. Part of me wanted to start heading back to it. Maybe Seth would believe me if I told him that I hadn't meant to get separated from him. Maybe he'd believe me if I told him that one of the zombies had grabbed me and carried me off against my will. Or maybe he'd see through my lies and realize that I'd done something stupid, yet again.
Tucked into the safety of the trees, I lost what little will I'd had to fight. Everyone I'd ever cared about was gone. Julienne was dead. My mother was dead. Drake, stupid asshole that he had turned out to be, was dead. All our neighbors from the Cube were dead or zombies. If Bud Moon had my Dad then he was probably dead too. No way Bud would let someone live who knew he was a flesh broker.
Seth was all I had left and he was probably going to kill me himself once he realized that I was infected with the zombie virus. He was practical like that. It might hurt him to watch me die, but he'd kill me just the same.
I had nothing to live for. No reason to keep fighting.
The blood loss from my shoulder was making me woozy. Not caring if I lived or died, I curled up against the roots of a huge tree and cried myself into a deep, dark sleep.
Chapter 13
My bitten arm was aching miserably as I sat up on the cold, wet ground, trying to shake off the remnants of what had either been a bizarre nightmare or a brief and confusing snippet from one of Seth's prophecies. The sun had set while I had been asleep and a storm was blowing in. I could feel the cold, damp air blowing hard across my exposed skin. I was freezing absolutely everywhere except on my shoulder where the zombie had bitten me. The bite wound was burning as if it were on fire.
Great. Just great. I was going to get an infected zombie bite and die. And then turn into a zombie. Just my luck.
“Oh good, you're awake.”
I looked up in surprise. Vera was standing a few feet away from me looking a hell of a lot worse for the wear than she had this morning. Her long black hair was pulled up into a messy, bedraggled knot. Her pale arms still bore the angry scratch marks from the zombie that had fallen on her this morning. She was missing her boots and her legs and feet were cut up as if she had been running through brambles.
“What the hell?” I rubbed my eyes, thinking I must be hallucinating her.
“Not happy to see me?” She tilted her head quizzically to the side. “You should be. You're going to need help doctoring that shoulder. No way you can clean it properly by yourself.”
I curled into a tighter ball against the tree. “Just leave me alone. Let me die in peace.”
“Let you die?” Vera crossed the distance between us and plunked down on the ground beside me. “You can't fucking die. Seth would be furious with me if I let you die.”
“Seth...” I tasted his name on my lips and remembered the way his kiss had felt. I could still feel the gaze of that cold, blood red eye. I shuddered. “Seth is going to be furious with me.”
“Assuming he's even still alive,” Vera said flatly.
My eyes popped open. “What do you mean, assuming he's still alive?”
“The zombies took him, Pilar. Don't you remember?” Annoyance was flashing in her bright blue eyes.
“I, no... What?” I sat up, ignoring the burning agony in my arm and shoulder.
Vera shook her head at me. “Maybe it happened after you disappeared. I don't know. I got hit in the head and now everything is kind of fuzzy. We were trying to fight our way back through the tunnel but we all got separated. Next thing I knew, the zombies had surrounded Seth and they were dragging him off. Gauge tried to get to him, I think, but he got bitten pretty badly. It took forever to stop the bleeding and then by the time we made it out of the damn tunnel, everything had already gone to hell.”
“Wait, Gauge was bitten by one of the super zombies?” I didn't know if I should be terrified or relieved that I wasn't alone in my predicament. “And what do you mean, gone to hell how?”
Vera sighed at me. “Come on, Pilar. You're going to make yourself sick sitting out here in the cold. It's about to storm. We found a little cabin not too far from here. Get up.”
“A cabin?” I frowned at her. “Why not go back to our camp?”
“Because its gone. The zombies must have destroyed it right after we went into the Cube. Dawn, Angel and Roggerio are gone. They're dead, I guess, judging by how much blood was still on the ground. Our weapons are gone too.”
“Oh shit,” I whispered. The true horror of the situation was starting to dawn on me. “Everyone's dead?”
“Not everyone.” Vera shrugged but I could see the pain on her delicate features. “Gauge is alive, for now. Zombie-bitten, but alive. I'm alive and mostly unhurt, for whatever reason the super zombies just weren't all that interested in me. They fell on me and snapped at me, but they didn't do any real damage. Seth is- well – I don't want to think about it.”
“But Dawn and the others?”
“Everyone we left behind in camp is dead. Liam is dead too. I watched them tear him to pieces.” Tears were glistening brightly in her eyes.
“Oh God.”
“We lost this one, Pilar. We lost this battle badly and, if we don't figure out what to do and fast, Bud Moon's zombies may kill us all.” The fear in her expression was all too real.
I groaned and tried to get to my feet. It took me three tries because my legs were so stiff and numb. “I don't think I...I can't...”
“You can.” Vera grabbed hold of my arm to steady me. “Come on. Everything will be better once we get out of this weather. We can figure out a plan for getting Seth back. We have to get Seth back.”
I didn't disagree, so I went with her.
Chapter 14
“Am I going to die?”
Gauge was wiping the bite wound on my shoulder down with disinfectant that stung horribly. The pain was making my eyes water. “I hope not,” he said as rain pounded heavily against the windows of the small cabin we were using as a temporary shelter.
“Right.” Gauge nodded as he began patting the area around the bite dry and applying a thick layer of gauze over the wound. “If you're infected then so am I.”
“How badly are you hurt?” I asked. Gauge's bite wound had been bandaged before Vera had gone searching for any other survivors.
“The zombie that bit me actually ate a pretty significant chunk of my thigh,” Gauge said.
“They're cannibals.”
“You noticed that too?” Gauge didn't sound surprised. I'd already given him a quick recap of what had happened to me in the hospital ward. I'd even told him about killing Jeb. I left out the part where I ambushed him though. Justified or not, I still felt dirty for attacking Jeb from the back while he was still laying on the ground. In the world of fair fights, ours had been anything but. Of course, Jeb had laid a trap for me and then tried to ambush me, so I probably shouldn't have felt too bad.
“I did.”
“Pardon me for not giving a shit, but I'm more worried about what the zombies are going to do with a rocket launcher than I am about whether or not they'll eat one another.” Vera was pacing from one end of the room to the other. She'd found a pair of bright pink sandals to wear and they made for a strange contrast with her leather skirt.
“They actually took the rocket launcher?” I couldn't hide my surprise.
“They took all of our weapons.”
“Are you sure it was zombies?”
“Considering how many pieces Dawn was in, yes.”
“Our people managed to kill a few of the zombies before they died,” Gauge explained. “There was a lot of carnage but it wasn't that hard to figure out what happened. They must have been waiting for us to go into the Cube before they attacked our camp.”
“Zombies aren't supposed to be this smart,” Vera cursed. “It was difficult enough to co-exist when they were dumb, shambling corpses suffering from endless bloodlust. Now they're as smart as we are?” She threw her hands up. “How are we supposed to beat them?”
“We're going to have to find a weakness,” Gauge mused. “Preferably before we get eaten.”
“What do you think they wanted with Seth?” Vera demanded as she spun back around to start yet another lap around the room. “I understand why they would want him killed, but why take him?”
“I have no idea,” I said tiredly.
Gauge raised one eyebrow at me. “My guess is that Bud Moon is getting tired of trying to figure out how to make himself immune to zombies. Seth knows how to achieve partial immunity. If Bud can make him talk, he may be able to transform himself into something other than a midnight snack for a hungry zombie. Bud wants to take the city. He won't be able to do it if he's 100 percent human.”
“You think Bud still wants to become Changed?”
“I think that he probably didn't mean to destroy the Cube quite so completely. Something had to have gone wrong. Now he's either infected and dying or he's still human and trying to control a horde of genetically enhanced zombies. Neither one of those possibilities has a good outcome.”
“You might be right.” Vera stopped pacing abruptly. “Where do you think they took Seth?”
Gauge shrugged. “I imagine they're holed up somewhere between here and Ra Shet.”
“Jeb said something about a camp right outside the city,” I offered.
“If we set out now, we might be able to catch up with the zombies who took Seth,” Vera said excitedly. “They won't be able to move very fast in this rain. Especially not if Seth is fighting with them. We could leave now and-.”
“No, Vera.” Gauge held one hand up to stop her from saying anything else. “Pilar and I have both been bitten by zombies. If they had been normal bites and we were normal humans then we'd be dead or dying by morning.”
“I am a normal human,” I cut into their conversation. “I'm not Changed. I've never...” I trailed off because the words 'eaten a zombie' just weren't what I wanted to hear coming out of my mouth right now.
“I don't know what the bite from a super zombie is going to do to either one of us,” Gauge continued. “It's entirely possible that we'll both be in very bad shape by the time the sun comes up. You can head out now, Vera. To be honest, I think you should. Go back to the Church of Chaos and get reinforcements. Tell them what has happened and that Bud Moon has Seth.”
“You want me to leave you both here?” She looked startled.
“That would be the safest option for you,” Gauge said. “Go back to the Church and get anyone you can to accompany you to the city. I don't know if Bud has overthrown the king yet or not, but if he hasn't then we need to try to stop him.”
“And what would you be doing?”
“If we live until morning?” Gauge rubbed his bristly chin tiredly. “We'll head to the city as well. Try to take the same path that Bud's zombies took. Maybe we'll get lucky and stumble across Seth along the way.”
Vera blinked with obvious displeasure. “I don't like your plan. I'd rather we stayed together.”
“Vera, you need to go.” Gauge stood up and hobbled his way to her. It was obvious from the way he was moving that he was in a significant amount of pain as he cupped her chin in her hands. It was a surprisingly intimate gesture.
She made no effort to pull away from him. “I'm scared.”
“Me too.” Gauge carefully stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “I'd feel better if I knew you were on your way back to the Church. There are plenty of good people there who can and will do anything you ask of them. They'll help you get Seth back.”
“I'd rather have you,” Vera said quietly. She wrapped her fingers around Gauge's wrist. “You have to be okay. You have to. Please. I don't want to lose you. I've already lost so many people and now Seth is gone and...”
I turned away from them so that I didn't have to see her tears or hear the desperation in her voice. I was trying my damnedest not to think about the conversation I'd had with Seth last night. Not to think about the way I had pushed him away when he tried to kiss me. Hurt, scared and generally miserable, I realized that, if I had known that it would be the last time I'd ever get to be alone with him, I'd have kissed him back.
Chapter 15
“Do you really think we're going to be zombies by morning?” I didn't even try to hide the fear in my voice. Vera had left in tears and I was just plain scared. The bite on my shoulder was still throbbing and my skin felt like it was on fire.
“Do you really want me to answer that question?” Gauge asked. He was sitting in a threadbare old chair with his bandaged leg propped up on the footrest. His face was flushed and he was sweating despite the damp chill of the room.
“Not really, but Seth's cured me of willing ignorance. If I'm dying, I want to know.”
“I think we're probably both dying.” Gauge closed his eyes and laid his head back against the headrest of the chair. “I'm sorry, Pilar. Sorry it's come to this. Sorry we never found your Dad.”
“Jeb implied that Bud Moon took my dad. He's probably, well, I doubt he's alive anymore.” The words hurt but I had to say them anyways. “Don't apologize. You tried. We all tried.”
“We did try. I guess we all kind of knew it was a suicide mission, huh?” He halfway laughed and then flinched as if the gesture had hurt.
I couldn't help it. I broke down into tears. “All I wanted was to find my parents. That's all. They were my whole world and all of a sudden, they were gone. I had to go looking for them. I had to.”
“No one is blaming you for anything.”
“If you're not blaming me for this then you should be. Somehow I started this whole mess into motion. Everything I've tried to do to help has backfired horribly on us. I'm a total and complete failure.”
“Pilar-.”
“No. Just. If I'm going to die before morning, then will you please at least let me get this off my chest? Will you please just listen?”
Gauge sighed. “I'm listening.”
Finally, I confessed to what I'd done this morning. I admitted to Gauge that I'd run off in the opposite direction of where everyone else was going during the fight because a zombie had told me my Dad was still alive inside the Cube. I'd needed to see Dad more than I'd needed to live. The tears were running thick and wet down my cheeks. My hands were shaking as I told Gauge about every fuck up, screw up and bad decision I had made since leaving the Cube that very first time.
When I was finished, he was silent. He stayed that way for several minutes. Finally, he blinked at me. “Is that all?”
“I'm a horrible human being.”
“No, Pilar. You're not. You're actually a very good human being. You love with almost no holding back and you'd give anything and everything you have to protect and help the people you love. You set out to find your parents and you've done your damnedest to stay true to that goal.”
“My search for my parents has gotten people killed.”